The Daily Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 2373 by Angharad Copyright© 2014 Angharad All Rights Reserved.

I was invited to sit down as was Jim, the two miscreants were told to sit down in the chairs opposite. “The university is actually private property, you have no valid reason for being here as far as I can see,” opened the dean.

“That person is a pervert and has abused several children turning four or five boys into girls. We’re going to expose him,” replied the one in a dress.

“The him you refer to is a valued member of the teaching staff and one of the leading female ecologists in the country if not Europe.”

“That’s a man.”

I sighed.

“I can assure you Dr Watts is a woman,” said the dean.

“You can’t turn a man into a woman.”

I could see Jim getting twitchy as if he was preparing to show them all that you could with his penknife and wheelbrace and the mouthy one in the dress was going to be the specimen.

“I think you’ll find that Dr Watts was wrongly diagnosed at birth and that has been corrected,” said the dean.

“Rubbish,” declared the man in the dress.

“Why are you bothering with these two, just arrest them and take them away,” suggested Jim.

The inspector decided to show an interest. “You’ve been arrested and read your rights, anything you say now can be used against you. As far as I can see you’ve harassed someone who is going about their daily business without due cause. You’ve also maligned her without just cause, I am therefore charging you with trespass and a public order offence, to wit attempting to spread rumours and cause an affray.”

“We weren’t,” gasped our captive drag queen.

“I’m affrayed you were,” suggested Jim, “much more of your crap and I might have been provoked to violence.”

“That’s rubbish, and we have it on camera to show our protest was fair and reasonable.”

“You’ll have a chance to argue that in court, sonny—tell me, why are you wearing a dress?”

“Watts is, why aren’t you asking him?”

“I’ll tell you this once more only, Dr Watts is female, whereas you are clearly not. She hasn’t turned anybody into anything, except students into post graduates.”

“She has—what happened to John Kemp, Patrick Watts, William King, Daniel Maiden, and Samuel...”

“I think you’ll find all that has been investigated by social services and the police and all six of those individuals chose to live as the opposite sex after being diagnosed by an appropriately qualified mental health expert.”

“He brainwashed them.”

Jim tapped his knee, he wanted to intervene probably physically. I’ve been through this before, it’s boring and time consuming and I was making notes for a claim for damages. Jason was to show no mercy.

“She tried to change me into a woman.”

“Is that why you’re wearing a dress and makeup is it?”

“Yeah, she told me to.”

“Jim passed his iPhone to the inspector, it showed the two of them going into the beauty parlour as men and one coming out in a dress and high heels, wig and makeup.”

“Can you send me those?” asked the inspector to Jim, who smiled and nodded.

“Might I ask for who are you working?” I asked.

“The truth.”

Everyone but our two arrestees thought that was amusing.

“You won’t be laughing when we sue you for wrongful arrest,” threatened the femmy one.

“I suspect Dr Watts will be the one issuing writs, I hope you’re insured for actions.”

“Of course,” boasted our trespassing tranny.

Jim beamed at this revelation and I must admit, while suing insurance companies is never easy, I had great confidence in Jason’s abilities and our just cause. I wanted these two bankrupted and hung out to dry and I was going to sue and sue until I was sick (of suing). I'd just release the dogs of law.

“I need to see some ID,” said the copper.

The girly one opened her bag and withdrew a purse into which a card had been inserted. “Jeremy Butcher,” read the detective; “for which company are you working, Mr Butcher and do you always wear dresses or is today a special occasion?”

“We’re freelance.”

“In which case you are opportunists who claim to have no money.If your victim has no money you claim that you’re doing this for the public good?”

“We are.”

“Not according to some scars you gave some earlier victims, the public good seems to be anything you’d like it to be.”

“They bribed you already?” gasped the big mouth in a dress.

“No they have not and that is a serious allegation to make.”

“Well it’s true, innit?”

“I’m afraid I shall have to charge you with spurious claims of police corruption and that is a serious offence.”

“We can prove them.”

“I doubt it,” said the inspector, “not from the Camerons.”

That made me feel better. They were eventually removed and we were asked to make statements. It was now going to take time as the due process of law swung into action.

“D’you think it’s just two of them?” I asked Jim.

“There’s another, but she’s a member of staff.”

“What?”

“Your technician is the one who let ’em in the other night and who I suspect would have been filming today’s contretemps.”

“What, Emma?”

“That’s the one. They arrested her dashing off with some dubious film, she’s being charged with all sorts of minor things but Jason will oppose bail for all of them on all sorts of grounds.”

“I’d like to go home now,” I said weakly feeling exhausted from my teaching and the stalking.