The Daily Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 2381 by Angharad Copyright© 2014 Angharad All Rights Reserved.

“They’re going to think I left the door open, aren’t they?” I asked Daddy.

“Weel, they micht be forgiven f’ daein’ sae.”

“Even you don’t believe me.”

“I didnae say that.”

“Sometimes I think I ought to retire and just spend Simon’s money by hosting garden parties for good causes.”

“At least ye hae that option.”

“Oh well, I’ll go and write my resignation—they’ve won, they’ve got rid of the weirdo at last. Should please one or two of them.”

“Ye whit?”

I didn’t answer I just flounced off down to the labs, he didn’t pursue me, so I eventually went back to my office with a cup of tea. Pippa wandered down about an hour later. I was trying to see who might have substituted a paper, but there were no obvious candidates.

“Tom is very upset with you.”

“He’s upset, how does he think I feel—I’m the one they’ll think is incompetent.”

“He’s your strongest supporter.”

“How can he be if he doesn’t believe that I locked up as I was supposed to.”

“Has he actually said that to you, Cathy?”

“As good as.”

“Oh—that wasn’t the impression he gave me.”

“Anyway, I’ve looked through the exam papers and none of them stand out as having been doctored.”

“How would you know, anyway?”

“Well if someone who was struggling suddenly produced a paper of distinction...like Floyd Landis on the TdF when he had a shot of testosterone.”

She looked blankly at me.

“He was favourite but looked washed out on one stage and the next day he went off like a bat out of hell, chasing down his rival. They found synthetic hormones in his blood, he was subsequently disqualified.”

“What about the other guy who doped?”

“Armstrong?”

“Is that the one who did it lotsa times.”

“Yes, and proving that there is no honour amongst thieves, his case began to be looked at more carefully after a couple of other dopers dobbed him in, Landis was one of them.”

“Do they still cheat in bike racing?”

“Probably some do, they always will as long as there is huge fame and fortune to be made by being faster or stronger than your opponents.”

“You’d think they’d learn by now.”

“If they don’t think there’s an assay test for it, some will try it. In a world of near equals, a few seconds makes a big difference. In the sprints, the width of a tyre can win you a race.”

“Um—Tom said you were talking about resigning.”

“Was he? Did he send you down to type the letter for me?”

“Goodness no. He doesn’t want you to go and he’s going to suggest that as head of the department, he’ll go instead.”

“If he did that, I’d walk out of this place and take Spike with me and never set foot in it again.”

“Come off it, Cathy, you’d never leave your dormice or the survey.”

“Wanna bet?”

“No, course not. Look, he needs you here—all right, I’ve said it now—he couldn’t cope without you. Certainly not with the survey stuff.”

I shrugged.

“There’s also the fact that you’re running the most popular course in the history of the university.”

“I’m a scientist not a performer.”

“That isn’t what I’ve heard.

“What have you heard then?” perhaps I had hammed it up a bit at times?

“That your lectures are more entertaining than anyone else’s. The one I saw was.”

“Was it?”

“By far.”

I sat and thought for a moment. “What if we were wrong about the break in?”

“What d’you mean, Cathy?"

"Well what if they weren’t putting anything here or removing anything”

“What d’you mean?”

“We assume that in order to go to the means of breaking into my office during exam times, the motivation has to involve the exams, perhaps swapping a poor paper for one that you’d written after seeing the questions and having access to the internet or your own good notes? Because of this assumption, we waste precious time scrabbling round trying to find the papers in question.”

“Yeah, you’ve sort of lost me.”

“Perhaps the intention is to embarrass me and cause me to resign—if they know my temperament—they can use it to do all sorts of things.”

“Like what?”

“Well, like this episode, if I was forced to fall on my sword because it appears I made a mistake although I’m still protesting my innocence until told it’s too late.”