The Daily Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 2372 by Angharad Copyright© 2014 Angharad All Rights Reserved.

I didn’t know if I should follow my usual routine and take the girls to school or not. The last thing I needed was to involve them in something which could either get nasty or involve publicity. In the end, Jacquie took them and Stella watched the little ones while she did.

I drove to my office earlier than usual and didn’t notice anyone following me, which didn’t mean there wasn’t, just that I hadn’t seen them. I parked carrying my laptop bag complete with computer and notes, plus my handbag. I wore a dress as the forecast was for warm weather together with a light jacket. The sun was shining and if it hadn’t been for the uncertainty of whoever was seemingly pursuing me and the chore of teaching belatedly some science to non-science students, it would have seemed like a lovely morning.

I felt quite tetchy, what right did these people have to approach me as if I was a war criminal or some other monster? I decided that if they did try something today, I was going to be anything but helpful and might even get aggressive. I would try not to show my students the same sort of expression, although some of them could drive you to distraction.

I asked Pippa to do me some copies of notes to hand out and while she did I made us both some tea. Tom was involved in a meeting, it looked as if he’d remain in post until next summer for them to recruit his successor. That gave me longer to try and separate my ecology centre from the direct control of the university and in the post that morning the decision by Perth University to offer me an associate professorship when I was supervising the reserves up there. We had to organise an assistant director, to do the day to day stuff, I was going up there as soon as we finished our exam season to speak with their biology department and its professor. If they’d had dormice there I’d be inclined to look for a transfer. The other thing I was going to do was spend at least a couple of weeks in the villa in Menorca. Sod it, I was going to have a holiday this year even if I ended up going by myself. If necessary, I’d cycle there.

Pippa came back with a pile of photocopied notes for which I thanked her and mentioned the people who’d been pursuing me the day before. “Jeez, Cathy, it’s like working with Jane Bond.”

“Moneypenny, you’re not taking this seriously,” I snapped back and she snorted at me. “If I were Jane Bond 007, I could just shoot them—end of problem.”

“Yeah, and with my luck I’d have to clean up the mess.”

“Nah, shoot ’em in the heart—not much blood.”

“Cathy, I don’t think I want to know.”

Jim sent a text to say he was watching for the visitor’s car, if they arrived, he’d follow them. I spoke to security as well saying I had quite a big class expected so may need help from them. The woman in the office gave me a funny look but promised to have someone nearby much of the morning. I felt a little happier. Security could deal with any interlopers and if they couldn’t, Jim would be available.

I set up the lecture room with the help of the woman technician, Emma, and after a wee and freshening of my lipstick and checking my hair—it was in an up-style today, I went and sat at the table in the lecture room and watched as students began to arrive. I was due to start in ten minutes. I checked my computer and its attachment to the projector showing a slide of a torpid dormouse. We placed the handout notes on a small table in front of the dais upon which I would perform—yeah, I don’t lecture I perform, probably why my classes are so popular, they don’t learn anything but it’s more entertaining than daytime tv.

At nine thirty I stood up and started although students were still arriving. “We’ve a lot to get through so I’ll get started. Most of you will know me from my work with dormice, those who don’t, I’m Dr Cathy Watts, reader in mammalian biology and ecology. We asked various classes what they’d like us to revise for you and I have a list here.” I clicked on slide two and their shopping list appeared.

I went through the first topic, taxonomy. How they couldn’t get that surprised me. Then it became more technical, cell division, citric acid cycle and so on. I gave a chance for questions each time but there weren’t many so I covered quite a bit in the first hour or just under. I gave them ten minutes to stand up and move around before part two—principles of ecology, types of habitat and basics of surveying a habitat, which finished things off.

The security man came and sat by the door just inside the lecture room as we started the second hour. Apparently he enjoyed learning bits and pieces he gleaned from different classes. Pity he missed the first part, he’d have learned that that the citric acid cycle, also called Krebb’s cycle won the Nobel prize for a chap called Krebb who taught at Sheffield University and it had nothing to do with velocipedes.

People were still finding their seats when I noticed Jim standing up at the back, which meant we had visitors. Thankfully, the ecology stuff is so practiced, I didn’t miss a beat in spewing it out to the assembled throng as I tried to see our unwelcome guests amongst them. I couldn’t but the room suddenly felt hotter, or I did.

At the end I gave an opportunity for questions and had three or four relating to the topics I’d reviewed and then it happened.

“Dr Watts, is it true you used to be a man and that you like turning boys into girls?”

There were gasps from the seats and someone shouted, “Leave her alone, man.”

The person asking the questions was the one who’d seen me before and who was dressed as a female again. “Is it true, Dr Watts, that you turn boys into girls?”

“If you can tell me what relevance that has to ecological principles, I might answer it?”

“Is it true you used to be a man?”

“Is it true you still are one?” I answered back. Most of the students had better things to think about and were drifting away, a few after telling ‘her’ to bugger off as it was old news.

I noticed the man standing back a little with a bag tucked under his arm. Jim was slowly moving closer, he’d spotted it as a camcorder as well.

Suddenly Tom burst into the room with two police officers, “Arrest thaese twa, they have nae richt tae be here,” he instructed pointing at our visitors. The guy with the camera tried to escape but Jim grabbed him until he was arrested, the bag being dropped in the scuffle.

At last we were going to find out what it was all about, as our two guests were now being marched to Tom’s office to explain themselves. The dean was waiting for us as was an inspector of police. It looked like it could get a bit heavier than just a newspaper article.