The Daily Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 2378 by Angharad Copyright© 2014 Angharad All Rights Reserved.

“Jeremy Butcher, did six months in a young offenders unit for pinching underwear off clothes lines.” Jim was obviously reading from a computer screen. “He was aged fifteen and his parents disowned him, so he was sent to a children’s home for three years. He was diagnosed with some sort of gender variant problem, but they couldn’t be specific.”

“How long ago was that?”

“Um—about twenty-o-seven, he’s twenty two.”

“That it?”

“Not quite—he was done for importuning, they let him off with a fine and probation.”

“When was that?”

“Two years ago.”

“I’ll bet he was funding his course.”

“What course—doesn’t say anything about courses here.”

“He was too comfortable in a university setting, he’s attended or is attending one at present.”

“It still doesn’t say anything about it here.”

“What about sexual abuse?”

“He made complaints about that at the YOI, he also suggested an uncle molested him when he was younger.”

“Yet he was selling sex a couple of years ago.”

“Could still be, want me to ask around?”

“No, I don’t think so.”

“So is he a gay tranny?”

“How do I know?”

“You’re the one with the PhD.”

“Not in forensic psychology or criminology.”

“Oh, I thought once you had a doctorate you knew everything there was to know.”

“Ha ha. That might eventually apply to Trish but not me.”

“I don’t know, you don’t do too badly now.”

“If that were the case, why don’t I understand where this guy is coming from?”

“Because you’re a woman and he isn’t?”

“I don’t know: he was so nasty when they arrested him.”

“I was there, Cathy, remember?”

“Sorry, so you were. Why was he so nasty, so personal?”

“Perhaps that’s why they hired him—to be personal and nasty while wearing a dress. To accuse you of making him wear it or to try and put you off your guard.”

“I don’t know if either worked—did it?”

“I don’t think so, just made him look stupid or pathetic.”

“Unless that was the intention with it reflecting on me thereby implying I was the same.”

“Bit of a risk, wasn’t it?”

“Not if they were filming it for television, it could seem like a woman student was accusing me.”

“Nah, he had too deep a voice.”

“Not at first, it dropped a little as he tried to shout me down.”

“Your students appear to be behind you.”

“Only because they haven’t had their results yet.”

“Of course, it’s that time of year.”

“Which is why I’m going to hang up now and do some more marking.”

“Okay, byeee.”

“It took me several minutes to get back into marking mode and several when I’d finished to get back into human mode. Perhaps my teaching isn’t as good as I thought as some of the answers were risible. All I asked them to do was to show how they’d set up an ecological survey. I didn’t specify for what, just looking for general principles. I did three classes on them, explaining the principles. I gave them handouts with the principles highlighted. What else have I got to do to get it through to them?

In all fairness about half showed me that they’d stayed awake for my performances, perhaps even during the class, while the other half didn’t, or didn’t understand it. I was very ratty when I set off to get the girls from school. They by contrast, or two of them were fizzing about this quiz thing. They did another test and Trish and Livvie beat the rest of the school. I wasn’t sure if that reflected upon the school or the cleverness of my two children.

The quiz was harder and they only got ninety two out of a hundred, the next nearest was eighty two. I didn’t see the questions so didn’t embarrass myself by being ignorant. Thankfully, none of the girls seemed able to recall any of the questions. Danni got sixty nine per cent right and Mima got sixty. I thought they all did really well and bought them all an ice cream on the way home. That went down even better.

Once back at home they went off to change while I went to check my emails. I had one from Jason asking me to call him. I did and he answered the phone himself. “Their counsel has decided they’d go down if we went to court—your name is just too good, so he’s recommending they agree to sign the undertaking.”

“Oh good.” I declared.

“The CPS has to agree it yet but I suspect they like your reconciliatory approach.”

“Surely it means less work for them doesn’t it?” I asked aware that there’d be loads of work either way.

“I don’t know if it does or not because we also have to be prepared for anything that might happen.”

“Like poo in the air conditioning?”

“Quite,” he responded.

“I’d still like to meet this Jeremy Butcher character.”

“Perhaps when everything has settled down it might be possible but the actual hearing looks like being in the next couple of weeks It seems the CPS have asked for a specific date for a judicial assessment to be carried out, so it looks sooner rather than later.”

“All right,” I responded, well I wasn’t going anywhere—oh boy—the chance would be a fine thing. “How does it work?”

“The prosecutors will put forward the plan you’ve suggested, but in legal jargon before a judge who will then ask questions or read statements before coming to a conclusion. The latter will be the longest bit, but providing the defence doesn’t put forward any objections it shouldn’t take too long as the case is fairly straightforward in legal terms.”

“Good. Are we likely to be called?”

“You could be.”

“Will you be on hand?”

“I will, mainly as an assistance to the prosecution team.”

“And this is a fairly simple case?”

“Oh yeah, when you get some that twist and turn like a thriller film script, this one is pretty basic.”

“I don’t know if I should feel cross or not about that.”

He chuckled, “Feel pleased, it’s more likely to happen as you want it to.”

“I’m pleased,” I said loudly and he laughed just as loudly down the phone. “You can go off people,” I responded and he roared with laughter before hanging up.