Easy As Falling Off A Bike pt 2309

The Daily Dormouse.
(aka Bike, est. 2007)
Part 2309
by Angharad

Copyright© 2014 Angharad
All Rights Reserved.
  
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“So that’s Neal’s replacement is it?” asked Simon as we cuddled together in bed.

“Yes, what did you think of her?”

“She’s wasted as a technician.”

“I agree and told her as much.”

“So why did you appoint her then?”

“I didn’t, Daddy and one of the other lecturers did.”

“Yet you supervise her?”

“I run the dormouse breeding programme, she has is based there so is nominally under my control. I also have priority for her time when I’m teaching.”

“But that’s a seniority thing?”

“Yeah, I’m a reader or senior lecturer, in the States I’d be on assistant professor scale.”

“Not bad at thirty.”

“Compared to some, but then Tom was a professor at thirty five.”

“You might be one as well—you’d be a natural to replace Tom when he retires.”

“I don’t know if I’d want to.”

“Why not?”

“Lots of politics and business. I don’t want to be more concerned with balancing budgets than educating young minds.”

“That’s a fact of life these days.”

“I don’t have to agree with it.”

“Isn’t that a bit ostrich like?”

“No, I’m aware it happens and I have to keep some controls on spending on the dormouse programme and the other bits I run like the ecology courses.”

“Do you still teach them?”

“I share some of it with Amber Wilkins.”

“Who’s she?”

“Tall girl, dark hair bit of a moustache.”

“Oh that was Amber?”

“Yeah, what’s funny is when people remember we have a trannie in the department they usually think it’s her.”

“You don’t have a trannie in the department, do you?”

“Yeah, me remember?”

“Have you been dressing up as a man then?”

“No—don’t be silly.”

“You’re a woman, if you remember you were officially cured when you got your gender panel thing back recognising you as female. You were no longer transsexual, your birth certificate says female. As far as I’m concerned you are female full stop.”

“You know what I mean, I can’t deny my history even if it’s been ‘rehabilitated’ by the Gender Recognition Panel.”

“I’m not going to argue the semantics, the facts are that you have been legally recognised as a female, and you are also a legally married female and adoptive mother of several children. You’re a beautiful woman and a wonderful wife and mother so let’s just forget the past mistake shall we?”

“Mistake?”

“On nature’s part giving you the wrong plumbing.”

“Hilary had a point.”

“Did she?”

“Yes, the part about referring to the wrong plumbing could be seen as a way of hiding an element of homosexuality on both our parts.”

“We’ve discussed this and also spoken to Anne Thomas about it, she agreed that those who held that view wouldn’t alter it if you could categorically prove them wrong, they’re like fundamentalists in religion. Fixed in their view or blinded by it. In a theoretical argument they could have a point but as Anne said, they don’t know you or me and we know it isn’t true. It’s like these morons you see on blogs or other stuff on the internet who shout, ‘show us your ovaries,’ most ordinary women couldn’t do that without a scan, so what are they proving other than how stupid they are? Women who’ve had them removed or didn’t have any in the first place aren’t any less women are they? Being a woman or a man is more than just reproductive cycles, that’s just biology being a human being of either sex or gender is much more complex—isn’t it?”

“I suppose so.”

“Look, Cathy, my wife, my lover, the mother of my children—I don’t give a toss what Hilary or anyone else thinks—I know you intimately—and believe me you are all woman, right down to the PMS and difficulties parking a car.”

I snorted at the last part.

“I can park a car,” I protested.

“Yeah in an empty car park.”

“So? Lots of men can’t park cars either.”

“Okay, maybe I should have said read maps.”

“That’s not fair.”

He chuckled.

“You got pulled into the argument with Hilary,” I suggested.

“Well yeah, I’m not going to let some Mancunian tyro insult my wife.”

“I don’t think she meant it as an insult, she was surprised to see me breast feed and she doesn’t believe I didn’t take hormones to cause lactation.”

“That’s her problem, we all know you didn’t.”

“Thank you for fighting my corner.”

“You’re my woman, what am I supposed to do except protect you.”

“Hmm, interesting way of putting it.”

“What is?” he yawned.

“Calling me your woman rather than your wife.”

“Well you’re both, in case you hadn’t noticed.”

“So I am, I hadn’t noticed.”

“Yep multitasking again.”

“But so do you.”

“I can’t, I’m a bloke.”

“You can, you’re my man, my husband, the father to my children, and my soulmate.”

“Oh yeah, perhaps I can.”

“Can what?”

“Multitask.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Simon, you’re a bloke.”

“But you just said I was all these different things.”

“So, they’re not all at the same time are they?”

“No, I suppose not. So neither are yours then.”

“Yes they are, I’m a woman remember—I can fulfil more than one role at a time.”

“Oh, well that explains it.”He yawned and dropped off to sleep. I wanted to scream that my argument was cobblers but he’d surrendered to sleep so I turned over on my side and he snuggled into the back of me and I eventually fell asleep too.

At breakfast, everyone except Trish told me they didn’t want me to invite ‘that woman’ again. I asked why and they thought she sounded intolerant and old fashioned. I didn’t think she was either, just curious and possibly had some preconceived ideas which were tested and found wanting. She’d been a good support at work but my gender wasn’t questioned there anymore and I suppose seeing me doing something I shouldn’t be able to do surprised or even shocked her.

I dropped the girls to school and went on to work, I saw Hilary at lunch time and we had lunch together. “Thanks for a lovely day yesterday, I really enjoyed it.”

“You’re welcome.”

“You breastfeeding really caught me by surprise.”

“I think we all noticed that.”

“Yeah, sorry about that—I was just curious.”

“We noticed.”

“Sorry—but I don’t know any other transsexuals.”

“According to the Gender Recognition Panel I’m female not transsexual.”

“Oh—okay, but can a bit of paper change your biology?”

“Having gender dysphoria isn’t about biology, it’s about self identity”

“But you said you were cured now.”

“Yes, as far as I and the powers that be are concerned, I am.”

“Good, now what d’you think of the Voice?”

“What Pavarotti, I thought he was dead?”

“No the programme on telly.”

“I have no idea, I’ve never seen it.”

“You really are an aristocrat, aren’t you?”

“Because I don’t watch television?”

“Yeah, that as well.”

“No I just have better things to do.”

“Oh, so that infers the proles don’t?”

“Not at all, it’s all about taste and personal preference which isn’t about social status.”

“Isn’t it?”

“No I don’t think it is, though education might be involved.”

“Don’t tell me, you prefer radio and classical music?”

“Okay, I won’t tell you.”

“Won’t tell me what...?”

It looked like a long afternoon was in prospect.

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