"It's that dormouse woman," said the same idiot we had seen last time.

"She ain't a woman though is she, she's one of those sexchangers."

"I don't care, I'd still shag her, she's prettier than my girlfriend."

"I'm prettier than your Janice," said wag number two.

Easy As Falling Off A Bike.
by Angharad
part 188.

I went and spoke to the sister on the ward and she told me that Stella would have to stay over night, the consultant wanted her to rest some more and he would see her in the morning.

I went back to relay the information, "Sorry Stel, you have to stay, the big man wants to see you tomorrow."

"Well why can't I get up then?"

"They say bed rest."

"And take these stupid stocking things off," she poked a leg out of the covers and displayed a greeny blue elastic knee high stocking.

"Very sexy," said Simon predictably. In fact if he hadn't, I think I would have checked to see if he was still awake.

"I'll bring you in something to match them," I said grinning.

"Don't laugh too loudly," she said, "you'll have your own in a couple of weeks."

"Oh!" I said. Shit they are ugly things, look like they should be worn with a plaid, pleated skirt and a blazer, like a convent school uniform.

"You've gone very quiet," she said.

"Yes, I was wondering if I'll be able to wear jeans when I go home from here."

"I think they may feel a bit hard, so better bring your school uniform."

"How did you know I was thinking of that?" I asked in astonishment.

"It's about the only thing I can think of that would match it." She had paralleled my thinking.

"Ooh, can I see you in your school uniform," Simon said winking at me, "you can show me your tattoo while you're at it."

"Tell you what Simon, I'll dress up as a schoolgirl, if you will." I smiled at him.

"Don't be silly, I'd look stupid."

"So would I." I folded my arms which should have signalled an end to the conversation, but Simon hadn't read the manual.

"No you wouldn't, I think you'd look rather sexy, what do you think Stel?"

"I agree she'd look better than you in a girl's school uniform, but I hate to say it, I don't think I'd find it sexy." Stella winked at me.

"Mind you, I think she'd be sexy in a black bin liner," he said smiling.

"I am not wearing one of those either." I was standing now with my arms still folded and tapping my foot.

Simon suddenly got the message I was not very happy with the conversation.

A nurse arrived with Stella's evening meal, so we were able to escape and I promised I'd phone in the morning and find out if they were discharging her, in which case I'd take her back to Tom's house.

"What do you want for dinner?" I asked Simon.

"You."

A flashback to my original meeting and thoughts of him being a cannibal went through my mind, but I didn't find it amusing. I was tired and his constant referral to sex was irritating me.

I was driving this time and pulled into a lay by. "Simon, I love you to bits and I want you to make passionate love to me. However, I don't have the bits to enable that and I find your constant reference to sex very frustrating. I'm sorry I can't oblige, but I am doing my best." The tears started and I wanted to be alone, so I got out of the car.

He waited in the car possibly taking on board what I had said, possibly switching his brain on, or whatever men do when they have embarrassed their girlfriends. I didn't know and I didn't care.

I wiped the tears with a tissue and walked back towards the car. I hadn't resolved anything, but I had stopped crying. "You can drive," I said opening the passenger door. He got out and went around to the driver's side.

"I'm sorry," he said, "I didn't think."

Instead of agreeing with him and biting his head off, I nodded acknowledgement. "Can we go now?" I asked and he drove us back to Tom's in silence.

"What's the matter with the lovebirds?" asked Tom as we walked in.

"Nothing," I snapped and went up to my room."

I heard Simon talking with him as I went up the stairs, so I expected he was telling him what I said. Probably adding, I was premenstrual or something. Certainly I felt irritable. I was in half a mind to go to bed, maybe it was tiredness, but I owed Tom a meal for his generosity to us.

I washed my face and hands and gave myself a good talking to, telling myself to stop being stupid and to accept that Simon was a normal bloke and they thought of sex thirty six hours a day. I was the odd one, not even being a normal woman. I didn't know if I should get randy after surgery. I did now, but that was just a source of frustration for me, all I could do was relieve Simon by means other than penetration, which did nothing for my frustration.

I tried to wipe it from my mind and went downstairs. Simon and Tom were having a glass of beer, I went to the kitchen and switched on the kettle. Cuppa in hand, I went to join them.

"Tom was suggesting we went out for something to eat."

"Oh," I said, not sure if I could be bothered. I wasn't so much hungry as tired.

"So what do you think?" he asked me. I looked at Tom and he shrugged.

"It's up to you Cathy." Simon looked at me as he said it.

Now I felt guilty. I'd already chewed him up for my own frustrations, I couldn't deny him some food. "Okay," I said, "but somewhere quiet, I'm not going to change again, I'm too tired."

"You look fine like that," smiled Tom, telling white lies.

"We don't have to go out, I can order a pizza or go and get a take away." Simon was trying to humour me, but it was irritating me again.

"I said I would come with you, I will." I stood up and walked out of the room.

"What's the matter with her?" asked Tom.

"Dunno, if I didn't know better I'd say she was on." I heard Simon's answer.

That pushed some more of my buttons and I went upstairs before I started to cry again. What was wrong with me? Once more I told myself off in the mirror and applied minimal makeup. Thank God, the mascara was waterproof.

When I went down again, Simon hugged me and apologised.

"I think it's me who has to apologise," I countered.

"No, I was out of order earlier and you've had a trying day."

"So have you, rushing back from London."

"Yeah but you had a shock when you found Stella, Tom has been telling me about it."

"Look let's go and get dinner and get home to bed."

"You don't have t..." I pushed my finger to Simon's lips and hushed him. He nodded and we called Tom who had been discreetly seeing to his dog.

We ate at the same pub we had used a few nights before, when we were hiding from the press. I felt relieved that I could now walk about normally.

"It's that dormouse woman," said the same idiot we had seen last time.

"She ain't a woman though is she, she's one of those sexchangers."

"I don't care, I'd still shag her, she's prettier than my girlfriend."

"I'm prettier than your Janice," said wag number two.

"Can I shag you then?" said number one.

"Fuck off!"

"I'm trying to, but you're playing hard to get."

Thankfully Simon didn't hear their conversation or it could have ended in some unpleasantness and the funerals of two oiks. He was significantly larger than them. I went and sat in the corner and asked for a fruit juice, I knew I would be driving back but I wasn't going to allow Simon and Tom to get pissed. Tonight, I didn't think they would argue with me.

We ordered, I went for a tuna salad, what a surprise? Simon had a steak and so did Tom, which threw me.

"No curry today then Tom?" I asked.

"Had one lunch time." He ate more curry than I did chocolate!

We talked about work and he told me he needed some input from me. I told him I would do what I could, but I might have to collect Stella and had to take Stevie to the clinic for his results. Tom shrugged and nodded, asking me to do what I could.

"There is one other thing, the local rag wants to talk to you about your change of lifestyle."

"Why?" I shook my head in disbelief.

"Because it interests people and you happen to be more successful than most."

"So, that makes me interesting, does it?"

"Maybe, don't shoot me, I'm only the messenger."

"It's only because I'm engaged to Simon. If we broke that off, they wouldn't be the least bit worried about me."

Simon's face showed alarm, with the mood I was in, he was worried I might just do it to see if the Echo would leave me in peace. He kept very quiet perhaps worrying that if he spoke, I'd react badly.

I leant forward and stroked his hand. "I'm not going to dump him just to get rid of the press."

His face brightened up.

"If I dumped him it would be for other reasons."

His face fell and he almost choked on a chip.

"But not tonight." I added and Tom smirked mouthing 'bitch' at me. I winked back.

They only had a pint of local brew each, so I couldn't nag them for that. Quite how they get some of the names for these ales baffles me. I don't really like beer or lager, although I will drink a little on a hot day, then it is thirst quenching. They were drinking something with a name like, 'Spotty Stoat or Wily Weasel'. Maybe I misread it, could it have been, 'Weasel's Willie?' I didn't know and thinking about it was using up too many of my stressed brain cells.

We drove home and I made us all a cuppa, after which Simon and I went to bed. To give him his due, he offered to sleep separately, but as Stella's bed was waiting for it's new mattress, the other bedroom wasn't made up, and I didn't think he'd want to sleep with Tom, so I let him into our room. His clothes were in the other wardrobe to mine.

We washed and then after brushing our teeth, went to bed. I was still nervous of getting excited because something was wont to move if I did. I tucked it back and wore a firm pair of panties, but....

Simon seemed surprised that I wanted to cuddle with him. I was tired but felt I owed him, and I did love the man. I needed to explain something which was difficult. It was a good job the light was off, because I was blushing like crazy, when I explained the change in my external anatomy, and why.

"Look Cathy, I know it's still there but not for much longer. I think I can cope anyway, and besides, if you can get some pleasure from it, well...."

I did try not to cry, and managed to do so silently and he hugged me until I stopped. Then he kissed me and touched my breasts. I touched against his manhood and he whimpered, so I touched it some more.

We slept well that night, even if we both had to change our underwear and the tension that had been building in me for days, felt much easier.