"My tattoo would give it away," I sighed.

"What tattoo?" gasped Simon.

"What, you have seen me starkers and didn't notice my tattoo?" I said pouting.

"No I haven't. What is it?"

"A picture of the SS Great Britain and the caption, 'Property of the Great Western Steamboat & Package Co.' It cost me a fortune."

Easy As Getting The Number Wrong.
by: Angharad.
part: aneirif.

We returned to the hospital and the nurse there was pleased to report Stella was making good progress but was now sleeping. Henry opted to sit with her, we decided to go back to Tom's house to bring in some clean nighties and other things she may need in hospital.

As we drove in the taxi to Tom's, Simon asked me if I'd got my stuff ready for January. Of course I hadn't given it a thought. I would have to and decided I would do it at the next weekend. The problem then was I started making mental lists.

"How did you think of getting Stella to open her eyes?" asked Simon.

"She seemed to be having trouble coordinating things, I wondered if telling her what to do would enable her to do it. It seemed to work. If it hadn't, I'd have been stuffed."

"Now there's a thought," Simon had this very satisfied grin on his face.

"It's true what they say about boys then?"

"What is?"

"They only ever think about three things, the other two are cars and football."

"If that is the case Miss Stereotype, You have a huge section of your brain devoted to shopping?"

"Absolutely," I said grinning.

Simon shook his head, "What am I going to do with you?"

"I thought marriage was the plan?"

"Yes but dormice seem to get in the way all the time."

"All the time? I can't think why," I replied to his exaggeration.

"Leave me to do the thinking, you just count the vermin."

"They are not vermin, they are protected."

"Okay, protected vermin."

"Grrr!" I growled at him, "You're as bad as Tom, he sees everything with large front teeth as a pest."

"Like Ken Dodd,* he said.

I tried not to laugh, but it was a funny line, so I cackled for all I was worth. I knew it would only encourage him.

Saved by the bell, we arrived at Tom's house and I let us in. Most of the fencing appeared to have been repaired or replaced.

Tom wasn't there but he'd left a note to say he'd gone into work for a short time. He'd also eaten chicken curry by the smell of the kitchen. Some leopards never change their spots.

Simon borrowed my car to go and get some of his clothes from the cottage, while he was gone I got some stuff together for Stella, some clean nighties, her sponge bag and other toiletries, plus some clothes to wear home. I had no idea how long she'd be in hospital, at least a couple more days. I also had to remember I was going to take Stevie for his results from the GUM clinic. Poor kid, I'd hate to be in his shoes.

While I waited for Simon, I called the hospital in Bristol. Daddy was okay and understood why I wasn't seeing him. I sent my love to him and said I'd be there as soon as I could.

Next I called the university and spoke with Pippa.

"How is Stella?" she asked.

"Getting there I hope. Is Tom there?"

"He was, he was called into a meeting."

"Oh okay, I'll speak to him later."

"You haven't heard the gossip?"

"What gossip, I usually am the gossip, or the subject of it!" I replied indignantly.

"Well it isn't you this time, big head."

I poked my tongue out at her, which was a complete waste of time but I felt better. "So are you going to tell me or do I wait until the drums down here pick up the message?"

"Tom has got funding for a new lecturer in mammalian zoology, to start after Easter."

"Lets me out then." I said.

"How come?"

"I'll only just be coming back from 'you know what.'

"So?"

"Well there will be better qualified people than me, plus I'm trying to do my doctorate."

"It's a part time post."

"Oh is it?"

"Yes, so you'd have time to do all you do and get a proper salary for it."

"I'll speak to him about it."

"Make sure you do."

"Yes boss."

I rang off and had barely time to put the kettle on when Simon arrived. I made us some tea and then he went and changed. I looked down at my jeans and realised I had some of Stella's blood on them. I went and changed too, into a skirt and my red boots.

"Wanna go and see Stella or stay home and make mad, passionate love?" he asked me.

"Can't we go and see Stella and make mad, passionate love there?" I asked grinning.

"They do have beds," said Simon nodding, "but they also have CCTV."

"If we got the film we could sell them as porno flicks." I was getting suddenly entrepreneurial in my old age.

"Now you're thinking Batwoman," he said, "Just make sure you take your sunglasses, unless you want to be recognised."

"My tattoo would give it away," I sighed.

"What tattoo?" gasped Simon.

"What, you have seen me starkers and didn't notice my tattoo?" I said pouting.

"No I haven't. What is it?"

"A picture of the SS Great Britain and the caption, 'Property of the Great Western Steamboat & Package Co.' It cost me a fortune."

"You are joking?" he said smiling, but he wasn't at all sure. He was wondering how he could have missed it.

"Don't be silly, I wouldn't joke about such things."

"Where is it then?"

"You haven't seen it have you?"

"No, but I'd love to."

"Too bad, we have to go out and relieve your dad and his Stella sitting.

He was busy looking at me, trying to figure out where such a tatto could be where he hadn't seen it. There was one place, but I wasn't going to tell him.

He carried Stella's overnight bag to the car, I grabbed my coat and bag and went with him. He drove and I got the car parking ticket. This is a real rip off, seven quid for four hours!

When we got to ICU, Stella had been moved to a ward, so we traipsed around to that. Fortunately she had a private room and when we got there, she was fast asleep and so was Henry. Simon and I both laughed.

"Good afternoon, Father," he said loudly by Henry's ear. He nearly fell off the chair. "Some visitor you are," was his next comment to his dazed parent.

Stella stirred with the noise and I went to sit alongside her bed, gripping her hand gently. Her eyes opened, she looked at me for a few minutes, smiled and went back to sleep. If only there was room in the bed for two!

"So where's this tattoo then?" said Simon, having sent his father off to their hotel in Southsea.

"Where's the one part of me you can't see?"

"I dunno, never mind the riddles just tell me."

"Why should I?"

"Don't then, I'll find it later."

"Will you now?" I asked.

"Yes."

"Only if I let you."

"You'll let me."

"You have a lot of confidence in your powers of persuasion, pity those of observation are so inferior to them."

"What?" he demanded.

"You heard me Simon Cameron."

"I always get what I want."

"I think that should read, 'You always get what you want - when I say so.'"

There was a snort of laughter from the bed, we both turned and Stella was giggling to herself. "You two," she laughed, "should hear yourselves."

"You're feeling better?" I said kissing her.

"Yes, can I go home now?"

*Ken Dodd, a British comedian who has prominent buck teeth (from an accident when he was a kid - fell off a bike would you believe!) creator of Tickling sticks and the Diddymen. Also done for tax evasion!