She didn't answer, so I pitched it anyway. "You are an amazing woman who has looked after me like a big sister and Simon, like a second mother. You have a very busy and important job, to which you are dedicated. In doing it you are helping hundreds of people every year. You are one of the kindest people I know. At this moment your world is under threat of change, especially if I marry Simon. There is also all sorts of things going on affecting your father and his commercial empire. You are under a lot of stress and I think you have to accept that things you do might be seen out of perspective. You did what you thought was for the best. I think it would be a good idea to let it rest there until you have had some time to recover and a chance to talk it over with someone better qualified than I am. So stop crying and give me a hug."

Easy As Falling Off A Bike.
by Angharad
part 183.

I pulled over into a layby and switched off the engine. "Want to talk about it?"

She looked straight ahead through the windscreen at the back of a petrol tanker parked in front of us. The tears continued to flow.

"Please don't tell Simon and please never tell my father, he'll be heart broken."

"It's not my job to tell anyone, but if you had trusted me, I would have tried to help. You helped me Sis." I wanted us to stay friends, I really liked her and cared for her.

"I did think about it, then all this business about your exposure happened and I didn't have time. I wanted to get the termination over as quickly as possible, I'm trying to see this as only a collection of cells rather than a little person. But I've still killed my own baby."

"It isn't a baby until it's born."

"I know that officially, and I know loads of things could have happened between now and delivery."

"So maybe what you did has saved it some suffering." I was trying to be upbeat about it."

"Come on Cathy, I killed it for my convenience."

"If that's what you think?"

"Yeah, it's not what I think, it's what I know."

"You are upset, and tired, let's go and collect some clothes and get you back to Tom's." I was quickly becoming convinced that this was beyond my capabilities to deal with on my own.

"You wouldn't have done it would you?"

"It would be rather difficult." I said blushingly aware of my shortcomings in the breeding department.

"Wouldn't you like to bear a child?"

"Of course I would, but it isn't going to happen. I try to live within what is possible rather than dream the impossible."

"It may be possible one day," she said almost abstractedly, as if she was looking into a crystal ball.

"It won't be in time for me, besides there will be loads of woman who are better qualified anatomically than I am, to carry a baby. I'm a bit small in the hip department."

Stella nodded almost as if she was in a trance. The tears were still dropping into her lap.

"When did you decide to do it?" I asked her.

"Last week. John will move on, he'll get his registrarship somewhere else and that'll be that. I don't have time or inclination towards motherhood. I made a mistake, forgot the pill one night."

"Isn't there a morning after pill?"

"Yeah, but of course, chances of catching very small, decided to risk it and now I'm a baby killer."

"I don't think so. Can I be a witness for the defence?"

She didn't answer, so I pitched it anyway. "You are an amazing woman who has looked after me like a big sister and Simon, like a second mother. You have a very busy and important job, to which you are dedicated. In doing it you are helping hundreds of people every year. You are one of the kindest people I know. At this moment your world is under threat of change, especially if I marry Simon. There is also all sorts of things going on affecting your father and his commercial empire. You are under a lot of stress and I think you have to accept that things you do might be seen out of perspective. You did what you thought was for the best. I think it would be a good idea to let it rest there until you have had some time to recover and a chance to talk it over with someone better qualified than I am. So stop crying and give me a hug."

She looked at me shook her head and I pulled her towards me. "I don't deserve you Cathy."

"Rubbish, you've done enough bad things to deserve at least several years of me." It wasn't the brightest thing to say but I felt like saying something nonsensical.

It took her a moment to process what I had said, then she smiled. "You are silly, but I do love you, Little Sister."

"I love you too, Big Sister." We hugged again. "Come on, let's go get you some more clothes."

We did just that. I was surprised the front wheels were still touching the ground, there was so much in the back of my little car. I took it carefully back to Tom's house all the time checking we weren't being followed. While we were loading the car the workman with the new door arrived and started to fit it. Stella signed his worksheet and told him where to send the bill. He gave us several keys.

Tom's eyebrows nearly went off the top of his head when he saw how many clothes we were bringing in. However, he had seen the mess and knew how long it was going to take to repair everything.

Stella seemed a bit withdrawn and I suggested she go to bed for a bit, I told Tom she felt violated by the break-in, which he seemed to accept. I made her up a tray with a light meal on it, while our jacket potatoes were cremating themselves in the microwave.

She was dozing but woke when I entered the room. I explained what I said to Tom which she agreed was okay. She burst into tears again saying she was unworthy of my love, and I reassured her that I had felt like that towards her not so long ago. She smiled and nodded.

"If you want to talk, or just be with someone let me know. Anytime if I'm here." I made her agree to it and went to feed Tom.

I made a fuss of him, saying he was wonderful to open his house to all us waifs and strays.

He beamed back, "It's wonderful to see the place alive again. It almost makes me pleased to live here."

"You are so kind Tom, to take us all in."

"Isn't that what friends are for? Besides I get to keep the cook for a bit longer."

What can you say to anyone who hits you with an answer like that?

We sat down to eat and he asked me to stay home tomorrow because the builders were coming to fix the fencing. That suited me fine, all I had to do was persuade Stella to have a day off as well and I could look after her while I was at it.

I went up to get her tray, she hadn't eaten much. I wasn't too surprised. She was awake and I told her that she was staying home tomorrow.

"Okay Cathy, I had taken a few days off anyway, but you can mother me if you like."

"I like," I said and hugged her again.

I sat with her for a little while and she went off to sleep. She was precious to me and I wanted to do my utmost to make sure she got over this incident.

I checked on her when went to bed, she was sleeping properly then and I tucked her in and whispered goodnight. Then went to my own bed.

Simon was staying at his parent's house. His father was okay but still quite shaken. We had spoken briefly on the phone, it wasn't a secure line. I told him Stella was okay, but badly upset about the house. He was genuinely pleased she was safe.

I didn't know what to believe about the story he had told on TV. I had always thought that money laundering was one of those insidious things that organised crime did, drawing as little attention to its activities as possible.

I wondered if he'd ever tell me what was really going on.