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Previously… I was not done grieving, but I was moving on with my life… so I moved into Marcy’s room, she had the better bed when home; otherwise it was now my bedroom…

Living in Garner, I had none of the metropolitan effects of the cities and I developed more of a southern accent. I had not been crazy about such things as a guy in Jersey. Josh had talked about a Lacy Knapp …behind the Storms. “Faith, what do you know about Lacy who lives behind us on the next block?”...

“She is in your grade, the only girl your age in the neighborhood, why?” Faith perked up, “You looking for a friend… So if one was to get on with her life, she might be a good person to befriend.

I made my way through the backyard and through a row of trees behind Lacy’s. She was taking down some clothes drying on the line. “Hello, are you Lacy. I was hoping to get a chance to meet you,” I said with a silly smile. “I’m… You’re Bri, will it be Storm or Connors? I am sorry to hear about your Mom,” Lacy said. Faith probably didn’t say, we’re good friends, there aren’t many her age either. She is two years older so she can make me promise something and make it stick.”

“I am the only one she told and I haven’t talked to anyone about you except to her and Ma Storm,” she said. “It is good to know for when I invite you to pillow party. So do you think you will stay and become a Storm?”
 
 
And Now…
 
 
Brianna’s Home
 
I helped Lacy take in their laundry, including a mini-skirt I admired, but alas, Lacy was two sizes smaller. “Oouu, you’ve been bitten by the girl bug real good,” Lacy snickered. I folded the little piece of cloth and put it in the basket. We took the laundry in the house and she called to her mother that we would be over at the Storms.

Her mother stepped out in front of us and asked, “Lacy are you going to introduce me?”

“Brianna this is my Mom, you can call her Mrs. Knapp or preferably Ma Knapp as I call Faith’s mother Ma Storm. And Mom this is Brianna Connors who lives with Faith.”

“Hi Mrs. Knapp, is it alright if I call you Mom Knapp?” I asked. Her young appearance surprised me. I knew she must be in her mid or early 30s, but she looked like a southern belle in her mid-20s. She had on a short golfers skirt, with a short sleeve top that complimented her very well.

She smiled, “Yes you may Brianna. I don’t know if you remember but we met a couple of times around Amanda’s wedding. I would like to compliment you on your singing with Carrie and then at Amanda’s wedding.” I thought back and remembered seeing her several times, as she was very helpful to Karen and Amanda.

The three of us walked over to the Storms. “I remember, I thought you were family but I couldn’t figure out who you were related to. Ruth will feel bad if she thinks she didn’t introduce me.”

“I am sorry about your, Aunt’s death.” I paused as Mrs. Knap said and turned to hold me, “You miss her very much don’t you?”

As we went through the door I called to Ruth, “Mom, Mrs. Knapp is here.” As Mom came in, I asked permission to go up to my room. Then I took Lacy by the hand and ran up to my room and Faith soon followed in.

Faith talking to Lacy “Marcy said her Mom only had a few days of knowing her as Brianna but loved her immensely from the start. Bri she knows Uncle Will very well they give each other a hard time.”

“That’s my Pop Pop, I usually didn’t see him around a lot of young women but I saw he was in his glory here.”

“He was extra happy because one of the cute young ladies was his granddaughter.” Faith smile and lifted my chin. Marcy said he and your Mom shared the same joy at the hospital.”

“I think my Dad and brothers kind of like me but they are going through too much right now.”

Lacy spoke up, “That might be true, but it stinks for what you are going through.”

I hit the pillow, “It does stink; she’s my Mom too. She hasn’t taught me how to go through this; I'm not used to being a girl!” I pulled down the hem of my skirt and worried about my make-up.

Lacy said, “You do pretty well naturally as a girl. However, when you are with your best friend and family, you can be a little girl and not worry about your skirt. You make a very cute little girl.”

I made a sad cute little girl look to Lacy and she gave me a light spank on my bottom, “That’s the look, little girl. What did your mother think when she saw you in the Bridesmaid’s gown?” I started to tell them and my mood was picking up.

“I wore it a good four hours at the hospital. Mom was happy and even proud to see me looking so pretty. I liked the feeling and the times we shared, but they were too short.” Now I was talking and tears were in my eyes, but it was okay as I was with Faith and Lacy.”

Lacy asked, “Did Carrie Underwood really go with you to New York City? How come it wasn’t in the newspapers or on TV?”

“Well, she and we didn’t say anything and New York isn’t into the County Music scene. She very unselfishly tried not to detract from my family’s need. She did sing a bit, still, it wasn’t until she left that it dawned to people whom she was.” I said.

“Lacy can I change the subject and ask about boys. I was wondering if there are some boys who find me attractive enough to take out.” Lacy’s expression changed as I asked.

She asked, “What do you think of Josh?”

“I don’t mean to hurt his feelings, but he’s just down the block. Kissing him feels like kissing the boy next door if you know what I mean.”

Lacy and Faith both giggled as Lacy said, “Don’t worry; I know what you mean as he is a friend of mine as well. He does well enough with girls we don’t need to worry. You don’t need to worry either; you won’t even have to wear my small piece of cloth.”

“If your hips continue to fill out your problems will be very different. What I do suggest is get used to being you, a girl and developing friendships, especially with other girls. It is better that your focus, be on friendship and having a sense of respect and character regarding yourself.”

Faith cut-in, “If someone refers to The Triangle, it is the cities of Raleigh, Durham and Chapel Hill. Lacy, you and I will go to the Garner Magnet High School. And when someone asks about going to the mall it usually means the Crabtree Mall. They will say North Hills or whatever if they mean shopping at another place.”

“Why is it called Garner Magnet?” I asked.

“Dah, it attracts neat students like us,” Lacy replied and then paused. “It is because we have a neat international studies based program. “Faith is in it now; Marcy and Amanda were in it. Marcy went to Switzerland for a semester. I would like to be but its hard work and demands that one is a really good student.”

“Well, that probably leaves me out then,” I responded.

“Don’t let Mom hear you say that Brianna or she will get on you and you will then be an honor student or die trying,” Faith told me.

“I don’t think even the best efforts of your Mom are going to get me on the honor roll!” I said and laughed.

Mom and Mrs. Knapp were coming into the room behind me. “So you don’t think you can do that, huh? Moreover what’s this, your Mom?, You’re lucky we are going shopping or you would be in big trouble.” She gave me a slip of paper with Miss Hargrove’s name and phone number on it.” “You can call or text her about what books you will be reading this year in your literature class.”

“So you decided already that I am staying here and what I need to do?”

“No, I haven’t but you need to be doing something and I want you ready for school if you stay,” Ruth said. “If you don’t stay it won’t hurt you. And I still want to know if I am your Mom while you are here.” I could detect a little hurt with her strong demeanor.

“I’m sorry Mom, but you know I have been a poor reader and only an average student,” I said. “I don’t want to disappoint anyone, but I am a caterpillar, not a butterfly.” Without thinking I was up looking through my clothes to decide what I should wear to the mall.

Mom caught what I was doing and snickered, “Well young lady, while you’re changing, change your attitude as well. You might as well get into your brain that you will be a butterfly inside and out. Do you understand me?”

“Well, don’t say I didn’t warn you. I like the idea; I just don’t think any butterfly is going to emerge from this body unless you make that change.”

Lacy giggled, “You are too late unless you ruin your makeup and you shouldn’t have challenged your Mom like that. Mrs. Storm, she seemingly doesn’t know you yet; have a little mercy on her.” Faith was already out of the room to change and the Knapps said they would be ready in fifteen minutes as they left.

Mom suggested, “Wear a skirt as it will be easy getting on and off as you’re trying on clothes and no, to Lacy about having mercy on your sweet buns, you and I will talk when we get home. Southern girls are smarter than northern boys in not speaking back to their parents. I suggest that you concentrate on being Brianna.”

I tried to speak, but Mom was already on her way out of the room. I knew she was smiling by the expression on Mrs. Knapp’s face in the hallway. However, I also knew better than to push my luck any more.

Marcy would be going with us but she will drive her own car and Faith is to ride with her. I thought of putting on a sundress, but when I pulled it out, Marcy stopped me. “A dress might have a skirt but it is not as easy or quick to put on and off.” She pulled out a denim skirt and my peasant blouse with the flowers embroidered over the bust line.

I put my hair up in a ponytail and put on a pair of blue flats. Mom and I went in the van to pick up Lacy and her mom Charlene. Her younger brother Austin and sister Heather scooted into the back seats. It wasn’t long until we were at the mall and found my sisters. I saw the Dorton Arena off in the distance, where Carrie held her concert.

I knew of Sears and Macy’s but not the Belk that Faith said we should get to. Marcy said it was mostly a southern department store. Mom handed me a credit card and some money to put into my purse. “You don’t need to spend it all but between your debit card and the money I gave you; you have some $500 to be doing your shopping with.”

Hoping to receive the same type of blessing, Faith and Marcy quickly lined up. However, it was money given by my Pop Pop and Dad, as I needed a new wardrobe for Brianna. Mom gave us big girls forty-five minutes to shop before she wanted to see how we were doing. We stopped at Claire’s and Marcy said I needed another set of holes for earrings. She did correct me when I was ready to pick some earrings she said were for a younger girl.

I was interrupted by a text from Miss Hargrove whom I contacted earlier, Miss Hargrove earlier, as she now buzzed me back. We talked for a little while and she gave me three books and authors to focus on. Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice was first on the list. Every third or fourth would be my choice from a list of authors or with prior approval.

I bought a copy of Jane Austen’s book but Marcy and Lacy suggested I get others through Amazon and consider getting a Kindle or other such device. Walking past Maurice’s I saw a peasant blouse that looked adorable and the others agreed, so we stopped to shop there. It wasn’t until I was walking out of the store when the other left me out of something funny, as they were laughing.

“What’s up,” I demanded

Marcy said, “Every girl needs a pet name and we just decided yours. In public it will only be ‘Butterfly’ but at home, it will be ‘Mama’s Little Butterfly’.” They told me to look at my blouse and the embroidery work on my new blouse was of butterflies.

“Mom hasn’t succeeded in transforming me into a butterfly yet,” I said.

Faith teased, “No a caterpillar makes its own cocoon and the butterfly eats her own way out of the chrysalis.” I was guessing that a chrysalis was the cocoon. There are things a guy doesn’t pick up because he is not interested in knowing. Brianna, however, liked the image and inside I was hoping the transformation would be successful. “Did you realize one set of new earrings are butterflies?”

While my shirts were not terribly too short, I was pressured into choosing two skirts that were shorter than I was comfortable with. I did however like them and was appreciative of the pressure.

That was until Marcy asked for the scissors and cut off the tags and made me change into the light blue skirt. When we met Mom and the Knapp’s, Mom was delightfully impressed with how I was doing. “Let’s see how you do in sitting down for lunch.” We went to the food court and got three table strung together.

Lacy pointed to Panera’s so she and I went and got us a half a sandwich and cup of soup combo with Raspberry ice tea. She was texting but was again in her secretive mode. We were sitting down and eating with the group when Russ and company came over. Russ was a boy that Lacy was dating though not exclusively.

“Hey Tag,” Lacy said to a friend of Russ’s, “I want to introduce you to Faith and Marcy’s new sister. Bri this is Jeremy Taggart, these guys are in Faith’s class but are smart enough to associate with us. They said there weren’t any good looking girls in their class.” Faith laughed.

“So is she pretty enough that you would take her out Friday night?” I tried to gag Lacy as I heard what she was saying. I was also turning red.

“She sings with Carrie Underwood and you ask if she is pretty enough for me. I’d be glad to take her out but I don’t expect she really wants to,” Jeremy said. I sensed by his broken speech and demeanor that he was shy and feeling put on the spot.

“Why are you answering for me Tag instead of asking me?” I stood up in an effort to measure myself to him. I was back to 5’6” with flats on and Tag was closing in on 6’. “I guess I don’t measure up,” I said as I looked down.

Tag’s warm hands came onto my arms, “I’m sorry, I, I didn’t mean that. You are very pretty and since you sang with Carrie Underwood I thought you would have your choice and not want me.” Lacy knows I don’t date much. But Brianna, I would like to take you to a show if you would go with me. I was glad he was taller and had a southern accent though it wasn’t too pronounced. I didn’t want to date a version of myself.

“I really would like to Tag, but I need to get my parents’ permission. Why do you and Russ just happen to be here anyway?” I smelled a setup.

Tag picked up a shopping bag from the sports store, “We had to buy football cleats. We both play football.” I took hold of one of Tag’s hands, it was strong but not callused. “I’m an end or wideout. I try to keep my hands nice so I have a good touch in catching the ball.”

Now it was Marcy’s turn to chime in, “Did you hear that Bri and Mom he has good hands?” I was frustrated and didn’t know how to give comebacks as a girl. I took Tag’s hand and walked away, and then remembered I wasn’t with him. I hugged him in frustration and he was nice and put his arms around me. Then we walked back to the tables.

“Tag, it is nice to meet you, I’m Bri’s Mom. I think it will be okay for you to take her out Friday but I need to check our calendar at home. We live the block behind Lacy’s so it shouldn’t be hard to find. I’ll let Mr. Storm give you the ground rules for taking out our daughters.”

We were soon up for the second round of shopping. Marcy took my stuff with her and Faith as they had other things to do. I got a chance to know Austin and Heather a little. Heather was very nice and Austin was in a mood because he was shopping with a bunch of girls. Mom told him, “Be nice to your sister you might want to date her friends someday.”

While it may be correct, I knew it was not something Austin was open to hearing today. He was, however, boy enough to like his big sister’s friend. He wanted to be with Mom, Lacy and me as we did some more shopping, but I wasn’t having it.

This time around, I focused on shorts, jeans, and summer tops as well as getting another bra, and some panties. Lacy encouraged me to get some running shoes and get in shape for cross-country. Mom said it would be good for me as I still had too much of a boy’s appetite and needed to burn some calories. “Thanks, Mom.” It felt nice to bring shorts and nice fitting pants over my hips. I did get one pair of short shorts.

Mom called someone and told me afterward I had an appointment to get sports physical. I frowned at the idea of going to see a doctor and getting a physical. “Don’t worry it’s with our GYN doctor, Isabelle Woods.” ‘I pictured a 60-old woman doctor and her attitude when she found out my identity. When will I learn about jumping to conclusions such as this?’

Shortly after we got home Tag called and asked if I would be willing to go to a concert at the Dorton Arena on Friday instead of going to a movie. He said an older singer was coming and she was supposed to be good. I asked who it was and he said, “She is said to be an Australian, her name is Olivia Newton-John. Her voice is pretty but I don’t remember what songs she sang.”

“I wouldn’t be surprised if one of the high schools put on a musical she was in this past year or next, ‘Grease’. However, her other songs probably sounded more like country or pop music and not rock-n-roll. Yes, I would like to go. However, would we be going with someone? I’m afraid my parents would insist,” my voice dropped thinking I might lose the date.

I called downstairs, “Mom would it be possible for me to go to a concert Friday night instead of a movie?”

“Is that Jeremy asking? And who would you go with?” Mom asked.

“If it’s the Olivia Newton-John concert they can go with us,” Marcy broke in to say.

“Tag would you mind if we went with Marcy?” Again he paused before responding. I hadn’t much success in asking girls just for a dance, but now I found being a girl and received invitations to go out and getting permission every bit as frustrating.

Tag spoke with a hesitation and frustration, “Russ just asked Lacy and Lacy wants to ask Faith.

The house phone was ringing as Lacy said, yes, but…” Mom said the call was for Faith and soon there were eight of us going. Marcy said if we get two more to go we could qualify for a discount. Marcy’s best friend was willing to go with someone. When Marcy called for the tickets, they informed her that we needed twelve for the discount. Mom spoke up, “If you can get four seats away from you; you can put the tickets on our card.”

Marcy said she would and soon it was a done deal, but now we had to talk about getting something to eat before or after the concert. My thought went to what I was going to wear and talked to Tag. I told him, “I have a nice outfit I wore to Amanda’s rehearsal dinner.” Tag thought that would be nice, but the other boys didn’t want to get dressed up.

Marcy, her date and her friend were casually dressing up. Marcy laid down her ground rules, “Whoever goes with us to the concert and to eat needs to be nicely dressed. One can dress in the ‘Grease’ theme other than that no jeans.”

Marcy came into our room, “Hey Bri, how about if I make an appointment for us at the salon for Friday morning?” I smiled at the thought and nodded my head ‘yes’. It reminded me, more of my extensions were out and the rest of them needed something to be done to the rest of them. My hair was markedly longer and had more body than three plus weeks earlier.

The next day, Josh invited us over to swim. Lacy told me to bring some tanning lotion to sunbathe. Josh was good about things, as he knew that Lacy had this habit as treating his pool as her home. Josh even put the lotion on our backs, which I was sure he didn’t mind at all. He had to be careful in walking around us as he tended to tent up enough.

Between my gaff, living as Bri and taking the pill my own body did not respond as much. We were eating at Josh’s around 1 p.m. when Mom called. “Enough lying around caterpillar get home you and I are going to a tennis court.”

When I got home, Mom had a tennis outfit on my bed. Once again, I was getting hand-me-downs but now it was from sisters and not brothers. It was a nice white outfit with a short skirt, panty, and top. The courts were about ten blocks away, so we took water and towels with us along with the rackets. I complained that I didn’t play well, but Mom said that was okay as I was there for the exercise.

Exercise I got, as well as homespun mother wisdom. I didn’t say thanks as far as I remember but I did enjoy my time. Mom took it a bit easy on me and we eventually got in quite a few good volleys. Mom taught me the art of a girl casually adjusting her clothes, from a bra strap to the panty riding up. Mom made me work hard enough that I sweated more like a boy than perspired as a girl. Gone were the sugary snacks Brice would have used to replenish his strength. Left was a bottle of water with some lemon for a hint of flavor. Nor did we head right back, but sat in the shade and visited.

Marcy and Faith both told me not to think I was being pulled out and designated as a special needs project. “It’s Mom’s nature to share and tell you things before you realize you need them.” Translated, she was like my Pop Pop but not as old and she shared more than boys usually did.

Early the next morning we went to my doctor’s appointment for the sports physical. Dr. Woods was not old but the younger doctor in a bigger practice. Marcy and Faith went to Dr. Woods and Mom and Amanda to Dr. Keith. I was given permission to call her Dr. Issie, and she said I would be in her ‘X files’, meaning not everything would be on my general record.

She gave me a physical and said, “Besides having too many parts, you are in good health, but not yet in good condition. I would like your permission to temporarily put you on a male hormone-blocker as well as to have you meet with a psychologist. Meeting with a psychologist is a prerequisite for the hormone blocker but also for you to work through grief issues.”

“I am doing as fine as the next person, I’m a normal teenager and it just takes time and space,” I said seeking to get my way on something.

Dr. Issie came over, sat in front of me and took my hand, “I’m sorry Brianna, but most young women don’t have male parts. I do agree that you are doing exceptionally well for all you are going through. But the law and good judgment as a doctor requires me to say what you need to hear, not what you want to hear.”

I liked her openness and treating me as an adult. “Can you do me one favor,” I asked, “It really is a requirement. I need you to be open with me and not keep secrets from me.”

Dr. Woods looked at my Mom and me. “I think she is asking this of both of us. Brianna, I think you are under an added tension from us treating you as a girl younger than you really are. I am in agreement, Mrs. Storm?”

Mom paused only shortly and then smiled, “Yes I agree, and Brianna, I apologize.”

Dr. Woods told Nurse Polly to get me an appointment with Dr. Rowe, the Psychiatrist. Then she had me sign some papers as Brice to get my medical records from New Jersey. She said, “I am going to give you a tetanus shot as well as the hormone blocker in light of the appointment being scheduled. Please understand this does not presuppose what you will decide in the future nor make anything irreversible at this time. You have my full support to make what is a healthy decision for you.”

I asked about the changes in my body. “I think if you make a decision by this summer your body should respond properly either way. I would like to see you in three weeks to check that. If need be we can pull back on the female hormones and stop the blocker, if you are progressing faster or if you are not comfortable deciding at this time. I came away feeling better about what was happening in my life and especially my wanting to be Brianna.

I had already read a hundred pages of ‘Pride and Prejudice’; and when we got back home, Mom had me reading again. She asked me while I read, “What are some disadvantages to being female in our society?” I decided to be smart about it, which was the wrong way to go.

“You have to let the man pay the bill, it takes longer to decide on clothes because we have more to choose from and…” Well, I didn’t get to finish.

“I want you to write me a minimum of a three page paper on how it is a disadvantage by being female in our society? I wouldn’t be so flippant about it if you don’t want it to be longer.”

“Am I back to school already, I didn’t have to write papers for my Mom?”

“Brianna, I am not trying to punish you, but come 9th grade your grades begin to follow you. You’re going to be going to a ‘magnet’ high school and your academic grades in 9 and 10th grades establish some program possibilities. You aren’t used to being a good student, so I need you to understand some things before high school begins.”

“Some things you would have learned if you grew up as a girl. Your mom and I talked and she thought it wouldn’t hurt you to learn about being a young woman no matter what you decide down the road.”

“Mom said, if I come here I will need to listen to you even when I didn’t understand why it was important. Our church didn’t give my Mom credit for having a stronger faith than my Dad has. Is that the kind of stuff, you’re talking about?” I asked.

“Why did you think that was a disadvantage?”

“My Dad’s an Elder in the church because they wouldn’t allow my Mom to be one before him. Dad didn’t really want to be one, but he hoped my Mom would get a chance.”

It hurt to talk about my mother and I had enough, so I asked to be able to read again. Mom said that would be okay but, “I need your help in another hour to begin getting dinner ready.”

I had already learned to cook a little from my biological Mom, admittedly I had more interest in learning now. It felt nice to put on an apron and not have my brothers hassle me. However, they too had learned how to cook, do dishes and do other things since we didn’t have any sisters. Tonight we were having southern fried chicken, asparagus and wild rice.

“Mom, would it be helpful for you to know, I think I want to be Brianna?” I asked. She paused and looked at me and gave me a hug.

“Are you telling me that because it’s what you think I want to hear or because it is what you believe?” she said. “Whether you are or aren’t my daughter, I appreciate knowing what is important to you.”

“I’m more comfortable if I think you don’t have to guess about me. I’m not used to not having secrets, but I don’t want this to be like things were.” I was getting emotional when Mom came behind me and gave me a hug. She didn’t stop me from crying but kind of let me know it was all right. People don’t indicate that to a boy.

Marcy went out after dinner and wouldn’t be back until late. Faith went over to her friends and didn’t ask me to tag along. Mom encouraged me to go an claim part of my room as mine. I had a poster of Carrie that I hung up, and I looked on the computer and set up my facebook page and a blog site. Choosing boy groups I liked was a bit hard to admit, but I was glad to have it done.

I downloaded some of Olivia’s songs so I could sing along with some during the concert. ‘Hopelessly Devoted” was one, ‘Let Me Be There’ and ‘I Honestly Love You’ were my favorites, though I played the Grease album several times through before the concert.

It was after 1:00 a.m. when Marcy got home and I woke up. I could tell she had a very good time but was pretty sure she did not want to talk to me about it. “Hey Butterfly, do you think you will ever allow a boy to love you?”

“I suspect so, though it doesn’t excite me just now.” I didn’t mean too but I asked, “Why?”

Without thinking she explained, “Tonight Ben really tried hard to please me and it felt really good. He took his time with me and I really enjoyed making him happy too. I hope you can enjoy that sometime. I think you will be a good lover.”

“Why would you think or hope something like that?” I asked. Marcy sat on my bed.

“It is like the words, the perfume and feelings all mesh with your body and you’re at another level. I don’t think a boy probably senses all that, but I think you’re changing and if you are to be a girl I hope you have that experience,” Marcy said. Somehow, I thought she was thinking about me as well as herself. The buds of my nipples even tingled.

Marcy thanked me, “Bri, I am happy you were able to be a sister back to me. I wondered about sharing but you have impressed me by being there for single Moms. It feels good to have another sister to talk too.”

Come Thursday night with Mom’s help, I shampooed and combed out the last of the extensions. It made a mess but prepared me for Friday’s salon appointment. I already talked with my sisters and Lacy about having new extensions or not. Tonight Mom was able to brush it out into a nice feminine style, “Bri, a beautician will help you to see other possibilities.”

“Mom, what would you think if I didn’t wear my breast forms tonight, and instead wore a bra with extra padding to bring me up to a B cup?”

“I would think you might become more comfortable in your femininity. Am I getting warm?” Mom said with a smile.

Marcy spoke up, “Besides being comfortable with her feminine side, maybe her own breasts are maturing and they’re beginning to bud and get warm. I think she wants to feel who’s cuddling up to her. Did her doctor say how nicely she is budding?”

“Mom,” I said.

“Marcy is just indicating you’re more of a girl than one might think, don’t get upset. I am sure she is on your side. You should be happy that you are growing out of being a little girl and becoming a young woman. Your Pop Pop will be impressed with the young lady he sees in you when he stops here next week.”

“When did Pop Pop call and why didn’t he call me?”

“He called this morning; he was having breakfast with your Dad. I sure he would like to speak to you unencumbered. Keep your cell phone with you, but be patient if you need to wait until he sees you. You know he loves you as much as he loves them.”

“Mom, you have a wisdom I rest on.”

Marcy tapped me on the shoulder indicating it was time to go to the salon. “You know Bri, your hair is coming along but you look better in long hair and that is how Tag knows you…”

I interrupted, “Don’t worry Sis; I already decided I still want it long. I do appreciate you looking after me though.” Her friend Deb would meet us at the salon. Deb and Marcy both had music as a part of a double major. When the talked of Mozart, symphonies, etc. it was a magical world into which I gazed but only caught glimmers of. Nevertheless, even that was neat; because I appreciated they had gifts that caused me to think if I did.

At the salon, they formed a pod of three beauticians so we could visit. Their beauticians were already next to each other. I had my shampoo at Marcy’s station and then moved to the extra chair. Marcy had sprung for me to get a facial along with them. The mud or mask was something I hoped to experience. I giggled as it went on wet, fragrant and smoothed as a creamy gel over my face. The talk was to be at a minimum, so we listened to Tchaikovsky and Strauss.

I learned long hair music lovers meant different things in music from present day pop to classical music, but Deb and Marcy were in both groups. They were down to earth lovers of music but had a depth of understanding and abilities that most of us can’t fathom.

While I was lying back with the mask, I felt other things touch my face, but I did not realize my sister and Deb built a little fruit salad on my face and sent out pictures to friends and family. The fun world of women has a creativity that I could and will enjoy.

Jesse, my beautician, thanked me for taking out the previous extension. The new extensions had a lighter highlight that worked with the summer season. I was learning to make better use of my time as Brice would have just been waiting, but now I was reading, visiting and even texting to Lacy.

Jesse was a young mom and I found myself getting into the pictures of her two children. She lived a good distance from me but she asked me to do some babysitting for her. I became her babysitter for Mondays and Tuesdays for two weeks as one sitter was on vacation. Marcy said it would be a good experience as it was not a baptism of full emersion. Marcy, Deb, and Jesse shared babysitting horror stories.

I worked on growing my fingernails, but like many girls. I had several fingers that had chips or been bitten. My manicurist used fake nails unlike before the wedding. I also went with a simple decoration. The red was bright yet a couple tints darker and vibrant. While out perms were drying our manicurists completed their work on us. I enjoyed the experience again as Jesse brushed out and finished styling my hair.

Jesse and I talked about make-up possibilities though it was something I would do later. She suggested using mascara with a blue tint. Putting color on with my mascara was a small step for a girl but a very enjoyable idea to me. We had to stop at a makeup counter to get it, which as usual ended with more items purchased. Marcy suggested I look for earrings and a necklace that complimented my look for this evening.

Marcy was texting, but for some reason closed it down as I approached. She told me, “We simply need to get going. Deb and I want to practice some music when we get home.” It sounded good to me, as I would get to hear them play some music.

When we got home, I quickly put my purchases away and went down to the piano to hear them practice. I did take time to show Mom my hair and nails. She got me to talk about having a facial. She showed me the fruit salad picture she downloaded. A picture was pinned to the corkboard near the refrigerator. Lacy called and asked me to come over and show her my new look.

She wanted to talk to me about my date with Jeremy; she was afraid we would both be too shy to do anything. “Brianna, what are you thinking about in kissing Tag tonight?”

“I’m ready to be kissed, I don’t see it as a problem,” I said.

“But what if he and you are both too shy to get around to kissing?” I hadn’t thought about that possibility. Lacy let the idea sink in. I was thinking after a few songs, “What if you where are up and clapping, you spontaneously turn and give Tag a big kiss and say ‘thank you’.”

“But that is not terribly spontaneous if I am planning to do it.”

“That’s okay Bri; girls do that instead of waiting all night to see if it happens at all. You can think of it as a teenage girl in training, ha!” I liked the idea and raise my hand to give her a slap of five; she pulled me in for a nice hug.

She tugged me upstairs and told me to wait as she took a shower. She left the door open to the bathroom so we could talk. She patted herself dry and had a towel wrapped around her as she came back in drying and brushing out her hair. Her hair was beautiful and went halfway down her shoulder blades.

While she could have done it herself, I helped a little with the back of her head. I liked the sense of my hair drying out and getting its body as we went along. She had put on a pink bikini brief before she let the towel drop. She had a pink lace bra out that she asked my help in putting it on. “My Mom and I talked that I might as well drop the towel sometime and let you know you are another girl in my presence.”

“So does that mean I can have your help when I get dressed?” I responded. She had not seen the outfit I wore to the rehearsal so she was excited. She had a mid-length skirt with a nice flirt slit up the side. It caressed her hips and waist in a very complimenting fashion. She put on a pink camisole and a white flowery blouse on over it. She buttoned it only half way up.

I hadn’t seen Lacy at night so it was good to see how her make-up changed for a night event. The color popped out even though she did not overdo it. Her lips, which had a natural fullness to them, became luscious as she finished up with her lipstick.

We went out and showed her Mom who smiled and gave her approval. She gave Lacy some extra cash just in case, and then Lacy went back and put on a pair of sandals with a 2  ½” heel. I thought how nice they looked but more practical they were as we crossed the backyard.

Unfortunately, I only have a 3” pair of heels that went with my outfit. Up in my room, I stripped down to my panties and bra to clean up before I put on my outfit. I decided to use the panty I wore for the wedding and a lacey bra. Somehow, my idea of no bra forms and just a little extra padding was more difficult than I thought.

Lacy unhooked my bra again and asked me to hold out my bra, she readjusted my pads into a better strategic position and the results were amazingly different. When I stepped into my slip and then my skirt, each told me that my hips were indeed filling out. I’m not sure how to explain the feeling of them coming over my hips and snuggling around my waist. The top and light jacket topped my look. I was good in putting on my make-up, but Lacy and Marcy who had since entered encourage me to use a bit more and let the color glow like a soft light were upon my face.

Our group had decided to go to the concert first and eat afterward. Though I was ready first, Ben showed up first for Marcy. He’s good-looking, a little more filled out with a strong shoulder and a nice physique. I don’t think I regularly would have noticed he had wavy hair but I did tonight.

Mom sent me upstairs and told me to wait until she called me. She saw Jeremy pull up to the house. Mom didn’t trust me so she sent Lacy up to make sure I did not hurry down. He was in the house a good 3-4 minutes and I was getting anxious before Mom called for me.

I was at the top of the stairs when I saw Tag dressed handsomely and with a sweater over his shoulder. However, the smile that came to his face when he saw me made my night; I knew he liked what he saw. I could actually see him take me in and then look at me starting at my feet and coming up to my face. Our eyes locked and I was halfway down the stairs before I looked to see where I was walking.

He almost gave me a kiss, before I heard him say “oops” as he pulled back. Dad told him “That’s good buddy it’s only the first few minutes of your first date.”

“Dad, you didn’t need to say that.”

“I was just complimenting him on good judgment,” Dad said. “Besides I want him to know your Dad notices those things.”

Mom was busy taking pictures of her girls, us as dates and as a group. When I asked her as we were leaving to send a picture to my Pop Pop, she said, “I already have and to your Dad, if he wants to see how pretty you are.”

I looked at the picture she sent my dad and I wasn’t sure he would easily pick out his daughter. I felt a mixture of joy and heartache at that. I really didn’t want to turn back from being Bri, so my ache was a prayer that someday we come back together. However, it would be as a niece who knew she was a daughter. I hadn’t told anyone but I already knew I was a Storm for life.

I gave Mom a girl kiss no lipstick and Dad a hug, and we were gone. Tag and I rode with Marcy and Ben, but I would pal with Faith and Lacy at the concert. We arrived at the concert a half-hour early if it started on time. I heard my name over the sound system to report to the soundboard area. Our group was there and if it was Mom or Dad, they should have called one of my sisters first.

Tag went down with me and there was a person at the soundboard ready to take me to Olivia. An assistant on the way back she asked me which of Olivia’s songs I knew; I told him, but asked what was up?

Olivia came over after talking to her assistant; she was a good-looking woman no matter what her age, but being older than my Dad is, she was great! ‘Well, Travolta was long past being a “sweat hog”.

After Olivia came over she said, “We heard you sing with Carrie Underwood, and your family ordered tickets for this concert, so we were hoping you would be here. I was wondering if you were up to singing a song or two with me.”

“Ms. Olivia, it would be an honor but wouldn’t it be good to give another girl a chance?” I said with regret.

“Your good nature doesn’t surprise me and with two part to the concert, I will probably do that.” She took my hand like asking a favor, “I would like to sing in the second half with someone I know can sing and add to the concert.”

“I won’t pressure you but if it is alright, I am going to call your name and if you’re willing to sing, please make your way to the stage and sing with me. There should be a black and silver mic someone gives you. You told Joni which songs you’re comfortable singing. Please know I look forward to hearing you sing with me.”

I saw another gown hanging up: I couldn’t believe my mind as I found myself thinking, I hope she wears that for the second half; it goes better with my outfit.

Faith said the singer opening the concert was a local guy Jerry Fordham and from his reception, he had a good following. He would be back a number of times as her accompaniment.

Olivia’s second song of the concert was “Let Me Be There” hopefully that was a cue to one or two songs I might be singing. Olivia’s not only a good singer but she’s also a very good all-around entertainer. She was already wooing the crowd as she finished her first program.

During the third song, Lacy poke me in the side to remind me of the kiss. I worked up my excitement for the song and concert; I was already for the kiss, or so I thought. At the end of the song I jumped up and pulled Tag with me. I intended to give him a short kiss, but I caught his mouth open. I found myself sucking air and enjoying it. Tag, was into the kiss as we finished.

Tag gulped and I knew it was a really good date. Before the end of the first program Tag and I was again standing to applaud Olivia when he gave me a warm kiss and his hands dropped down to my hips.

Come intermission, Mom stopped over to ask why they called my name before the concert. I wanted to know how Mom knew; other than her daughter’s wedding she was traditionally late. I asked, “Mom how did she know my name and we would be here?”

I could tell Mom knew something, but she said, “If anyone talked to her it wasn’t me? But does that mean you might sing with her?”

I was a little late getting back for the second half as I had to wait my turn for the women’s room. ‘This bathroom thing isn’t fair!’ Luckily Fordham was asked for an extra song.

Olivia was five songs into her second set when she announced, “Another singer that I know recently told me of a friend she made and that her friend might be here tonight. Please give a hand to Carrie Underwood’s friend Brianna Connors.” It didn’t sound much like a choice to me, but I was happy, though nervous, to go up. We sang “I Honestly Love You” as a duet, but knew she would finish better if she did it alone.

She told the crowd, “Brianna originally suggested I give someone else a chance to sing with me tonight, and that is why we had help in the opening set. Carrie told me and she was right, I should hear this young woman sing. Now I want to see if she can act too. Brianna, if you don’t have a guy here with you I probably could get a few volunteers from the audience.”

“We met this week, but I really like him, and his name is Jeremy, but I call him Tag.” I asked, “Miss Olivia, did you really talk to Carrie about me?” She told me she would tell me later about Carrie.

“I’m going to use Jerry Fordham to be with me,” Olivia said, “so I’ll have no trouble acting. Do you think you can convince the audience that you are ‘Hopelessly Devoted’ to Tag?”

“I can have fun trying,” I laughed. The boys sat on bar stools and we had to do a combination of singing to them and the audience. Olivia had an advantage in knowing when the focus was to be on her. Olivia also had a chiffon scarf she could use, but Tag had more hair for me to run my fingers through. Moreover, I could be little sassier running a finger through his lips and undoing several shirt buttons. I knew I looked like an amateur, but I was enjoying the time.

It was not the height of the concert, but it went over very well for us. After I sang, and on the way back to our seats Tag lifted me up gave me a big twirl, and let me down with a big kiss and a hug. Faith Marcy both threatened to ice us down if we did not cool it on our own.

A group of us went backstage and invited back to Olivia’s changing room. More than a few flowers were decorating her room as well as messages. Olivia told us that Carrie Underwood had indeed contacted her about me. She said, “Carrie said she’s the first member of your fan club and welcomed me to join after I heard you.” “She told me you have a good stage presence which I saw myself tonight. She said you have already been through a lot and that you have become a special person to her.”

“I will tell you Bri… Brianna, Carrie is quite a special woman herself, so for her to say that speaks volumes to me. You seem the kind of person we hope is in our audience and that we can lift you up just a little.”

“If Carrie would ever invite you to go on one of her little projects, ask her to please invite me?” Olivia whispered.

Olivia said she was going out, but that it was an adult party she asked Marcy, Deb, and their dates if they would be interested in the party. Ben said he had to be up early for work, but encouraged Marcy to go as I did. Deb wanted to go but her boyfriend didn’t see it as a good time for him.

We all went for a bite to eat; Marcy then went back to get her car to go to Olivia’s gathering. I think I might have gotten up an hour or two after Marcy finally got home and went to sleep. I got up to help Marcy with getting her make-up off and to bed. It was nice to do something small for her…
 

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To Be Continued...