Well, I got the job offer from the new cleaning company. Means that at the end of this month, I stop working for Walmart, and start working for them.

Here is hoping I'm up to the challenge ...

Well, I had a busy day today.

Isaw the psch doc, and he's up the dose of my anti-depressant. I also saw the sleep clinic, and I have severe sleep apnea, so they gave me a machine to help me breathe in my sleep.

Some good news on the job front.

I had an interview with the new cleaning company on Wednesday night, and they impressed me. Enough that if they offer me a position (they are supposed to be coming back Tuesday with the offers), I will take the offer

I've had a lot of "searching" dreams - dreams where I'm looking for a place, a person, or an object, but last night i had a slightly different version of those dreams.

I was at some kind of combination carnival and sporting event with my brother and some friends, and when we got to our seats for the game, I realized I was hungry, and so went looking for a concession stand.

There I met a man who knew me, and he took me into secret parts of the site, and then I won a carnival game, and he seemed kind of sad about that for some reason.

Tough day today. Worked very hard last night, then had a party for Samantha's birthday (because most of her friends couldn't come on Easter for her actual birthday), and it was a total struggle to not blank out at the restaurant due to pain setting off my PTSD.

Sighs ...

As if I didn't have enough on my plate at the moment, apparently Sharon has gone insane.

On Saturday she was with my mom and spotted a cop talking to a woman at a bus stop. She jumped out of the car and got in the officer's face, even though she didn't know the woman, the officer, or the situation.

Frankly, she was lucky he didn't arrest her.

From what my mom told me, she has been taken off her blood pressure meds, which maybe why this happened, but still, she needs to get a handle on her impulse control, or she or my daughter will get hurt.

Well, today is a special day.

It's Jaci's (AKA Tels) birthday!

Yes, the originator of all the girly germs on many chat sites is having a birthday today.

And since she's having a tough time because of her period, I'm sure she'd really appreciate all the birthday huggles we can give her!

Jaci, I hope you have a happy, girly, PINK birthday!

Just wanted to wish everybody a happy Easter.

I am gonna be busy with my daughter today as it is her birthday, so everybody be good while I'm gone!

Well, I missed the deadline for the contest, but I am going to try and finish my story anyway, so I can get back to working on Mercy.

Stay tuned ...

i have always had strange dreams.

Not only the night terrors I had for decades, but just plain odd dreams.

Well, last night, I had a doozy.

I dreamed that I was with a group of people being harassed by government officials when a group of tough looking men started attacking the group.

I got the idea of giving this one guy a drop-kick because I was on a platform and I figured i'd at least get his attention.

So I launched myself at him, kicked him in the face.

And I killed him.

My week was going great until Saturday morning. Then I managed to slip and fall at work, and since then my neck hurts, my tailbone hurts, I've had trouble concentrating, and I've been very shaky PTSD wise.

I'm going to the hospital to get checked out ...

Apparently, I was so ditsy yesterday, I forgot to give details on being called a heroine on Saturday night.

See, what happened was I ended up having to help stock the store, and I got so much done my boss was super impressed and used the term.

Sorry for the confusion.

Well, I just got some bad news.

My work is going to start outsourcing store cleaning to a cleaning company sometime this year, so my job will be coming to a close.

Not sure what I'm going to do, but I'm going to try my best to keep my chin up and do my best at the job in the meantime.

Prayers and hugs appreciated always.

I would kinda like to talk about depression for a moment.

See, I get two very different types of depression, that have very different effects on me, although neither one is fun.

The first type is sadness. "The Blues". When I get this type, I just want to curl up and cry myself to sleep.

But the second type is even worse - anger directed inward, otherwise called self-hate.

That one is more dangerous because if I stay that way too long, I might succumb to the notion that everyone would be better off without me.

I managed to fight of the feelings of guilt i get along with my flashbacks.

For one of the few times, I refused to feel like I had done something wrong.

A good step forward, I think.