I just read an amazing story here, and I wanted to encourage everyone to read it.

http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/fiction/22225/after-winter

I got called a heroine by my boss last night!

Feels pretty good !

I am well-loved by my church.

If I needed extra proof of this, I got it Sunday.

See, I went to church, but partway through the service my leg muscles decided they wanted to spasm, and my knee moved in a direction its not supposed be able to go.

I managed to suppress my yelp, but then the pastor asked if anybody had a prayer request, so I asked for prayer for the pain.

The pastor made the prayer, and the service continued, but no less than four people came over to me to check on me, to comfort me, and to offer me any help they could.

I have learned, perhaps too late, that choices have consequences.

For example, a lot of the reason why I am in such pain is because I made poor choices with the food I ate and not doing enough physical activity, leading to me being overweight.

But that's not the worst consequence I'm facing.

See, I chose to get married. i did not choose well, but I chose.

And because I made that choice, and further made the choices that led to my separation, I do not have a special someone in my life, nor will I.

Just wanted everyone to know that I'm trying my best to work on the next chapter of "Mercy", but had a massive PTSD attack Thursday, and still kinda shaky.

Sorry.

Well, I may not have found a snuggle partner this Valentine's, but apparently, my dog did - in the form of a rabbit in the next door neighbor's yard.

The two of them approached the fence cautiously, then the rabbit gave a quick sniffy kiss on my dog's nose through the fence, and hopped away.

My dog was clearly smitten, not wanting to come back in, and stayed as close to the fence as possible, waiting for her new friend to come back over - which she did, gave my dog another sniff-kiss, and hopped away again.

I dont usually push my own stories, but I think I might be on to something special with my latest story "Mercy".

See, if there is a theme that runs through a lot of my work, it's about what happens after a person has been damaged.

I've explored ideas of healing, of looking for justice, and the power of forgiveness vs the allure of vengeance.

But in my latest, I think I have really hit the jackpot in terms of making the case for Mercy as the best choice.

Or at least that's my hope. Only the readers will decide if I am succeeding.

I went to the Big Closet chat site, and it came back "timed out"

Anybody know what's going on?

Well, I got my holidays after all.

I am off for the next 2 weeks.

hopefully, I can get some writing done ...

I received an amazing honor today.

The Rev. Anam Chara, a fantastic author here on Big Closet, name-dropped one of my stories into the latest chapter of his story, having a group of high school students read my work and comment on it.

I am humbled by being selected for such an honor.

You know how I've been saying I'm in pain and wish I could get a break from work?

Well, I should be a bit more careful in my wishes.

I got a serious dressing down from my boss last night, giving me the impression I'm on thin ice in terms of continuing to work there, and to say the least I'm pretty depressed about it.

You add pain and PTSD to my depression, and its not a good situation at the moment.

hugs and prayers appreciated.

Well, I volunteered today at the local food bank, and it was wonderful.

I'm glad I overcame my anxiety and went.

I'm going to try and make it part of my weekly routine.

Well, got a frustrating situation going on. See, way back at the beginning of December, I booked the last week of January off, got that approved by my supervisor, and gave the sheet to the personal office.

And yet, my name is on the schedule for that week.

I talked to the store manager and my supervisor about this, and they asked me about pushing my time off because they are expecting a new maintenance person to be starting around that time, and they would prefer they not have to go solo right away, but rather have someone to show them the ropes.

Well, I had a very rough night at work last night.

It started off with me finding out that I am scheduled for the last week of the month when I had asked for and been signed off on getting vacation for that time, so I was a little ticked off by that.

Then my boss basically accused me of deliberately skipped part of my job, not even considering the possibility that I had simply forgot.

This sent me into a depressive spiral, leaving me feeling worthless and like nothing matters.

I'm back from my counseling appointment, and I am not sure if this is good news, but they want to do a full psych evaluation on me, because they think I'm having problems beyond the ones I'm already on meds for.

So I'm crazier than even I thought ...