Dorothy Colleen

burning out

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I am sorry to anyone expecting more writing from me

But with mom losing her car and my brother being diagnosed with early onset dementia, I've been tapped out since before Christmas, just zip for writing spoons.

i am trying to keep positive for my mom's sake. she is so fragile that I have to be the strong one, but i wish I could go somewhere and just grieve without being a burden. Not being able to grieve is burning me right out. I havent slept well, and am barely functional.

so again, sorry.

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bad dream last night

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I had a really bad dream last night:

in the dream I was back in school, got lost and so was late to a class that seemed to be all about taking a pile of objects and making something from them. I had no idea what I was doing, spilled all my stuff on the floor and ended up late leaving the classroom because I was trying to clean up my mess

I keep having dreams like this. Clearly my subconscious is trying to tell me something, and will keep hammering me till I get it, but other than a sense of frustration and failure I'm drawing a blank.

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in the middle of other's grief

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I feel a bit like a person standing in a open field watching lightning bolts hit all round me but sparing me. A good percentage of my friends and relatives have suffered loss, grief, injury, or illness in the last little while. I feel bad for all of them, but I'm almost getting burned out and I'm worried that if I get personally struck I'm gonna have no spoons to deal.

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I might have to scream

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i might need to scream.

i think the guy who hit us is trying to claim it was a "no fault" accident which would mean he would pay nothing for destroying my mom's car

see, my mom's insurance co called and asked my mom if she was filing a claim which makes no sense if he's taking responsibility for the accident.

sighs ...

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I was in a car accident yesterday

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For anybody who hadnt heard yesterday: I was in a car accident while riding with my mom, but I'm okay. Cut and bruised my leg when I hit the glove compartment, and went into PTSD shock, but got checked out and am otherwise all right. Mom's car was pretty badly damaged - trunk is a mangled mess and the impact blew out her back window, but outside of being upset mom was not hurt.

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It's Rosey's fault: Wish Granted

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Its Rosey’s fault: Wish granted

Blame “stuck in a rut” author Rosey Redd for this one:

Rose looked at the magical genie she’d released. Genie says you can be anything you want, just name it,” Rose struggles, finally saying “I dont know, man” Genie replies “wish granted!”

And Richard was left to stagger home.

End!

free story idea

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As I already have too many ideas started, I'm letting one go free: A group of sailors encounter a siren and are saved by a crew-member who is a closeted trans woman. realizing this might be a chance to rid the world of the dangerous siren and maybe even rescue some men, the trans woman is encouraged to find as many others like her to form an army that would be immune to the siren's call ...

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promising starts, but no finish

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I am in a bit of a pickle. See I have now about a half dozen stories started, but all of them are stalled, and I'm starting to get anxious. See one of my little OCD like habits has come out because with one exception, I have produced at least one new story or poem every single month since the first story I published. And that means I have until the end of December t come up with something. Which isnt very long, especially since I'd also like to produce some longer works instead of just flash fiction.

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dream time

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Dream time again. Last night I had a dream and it went like this: It started with me walking through a neighborhood until I got to an elementary school. I went in, and began teaching classes. I seemed to be regarded as a tough but fair teacher by the students. The school day ended, and I left and walked around the neighborhood with a friend who had shown up. We then went back ti the school because there was going to be a play and I apparently was supposed to help the kids. But partway through the play a black goop like Venom started trying to attack the kids.

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Contagion

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Contagion

Yeah, i was there at the start of it, but I didn’t know what was going on until it was too late.

Fine, Let me start at the beginning.

First thing I noticed was that some of the girls coming to school all super dressed up

Dresses, heels the whole thing.

I just figured some class was doing something. Giving ballroom dancing lessons or something like that.

But the number of girls coming to school all super girly kept getting bigger.

Worst Case Scenario

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Worst Case Scenario

Author’s note: this one is sort of inspired by the anime “Simoun” but does not take place in that world. There is a reference to suicide at the start, so read with care.

I stood on the highest point of the bridge I could, trying to steel myself for the jump.

From here, I could see most of Cuan City. I could see the dome where our governor ruled, the massive mansions, the beautiful parks, and the bay that the city is named after.

FATA is now an open universe, and beta readers needed

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I just wanted to announce that my latest story, Federal Astral Transfer Agency is now an open universe, If you have an idea that would work, let me know.

And in other news I have another story ready for a beta test, if anybody wants to be my victim I mean volunteer.

PM me if you're interested in either idea.

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Federal Astral Transfer Agency

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Federal Astral Transfer Assistance Agency

This one emerged out of a conversation on the chat site. You'll have to tell me what you think.

I got in the elevator, pushed the button, and then flexed my toes inside my shoes while taking the ride up.

For the upteenth time I cursed the dress code that meant I was stuck in heels.

I managed to put on my “pleasant professional” face on before the elevator door opened.

I am less good at hiding my true feelings now

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okay so apparently last week I scared some of the ladies at church. They could tell I was struggling, and so were really concerned for me, to the point they were relieved to see me today still in one piece. I used to be better at hiding my struggles, but I guess I've lost that ability,

That's good, right?

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Annia's story

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Annia’s Story

Before the written word, people shared stores by way of oral tradition. Sometimes these were fairy tales, or morality plays, but sometimes actual history was shared by one person telling another, passing the story down through time until some bright person finally writes it down. Many of those stories have sadly been lost, so it’s not impossible something like the tale I’m about to share really happened.

You young ones want to hear about Annia do you?

I’ll tell you but you have to promise to pass it on.

Promise?

Floodlit

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Floodlit

I honestly never planned to become famous.

But I should start at the beginning.

It started when I met Mac, which was short for Macerio Yadell Gica. Yeah, him. His family came to Canada from the Philippines a couple of generations back, and even then he was an amazing performer.

The Wall within

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ok so a few days ago I watched the youtube channel the nostalgia critic do a take on the movie "The Wall", and it brought me back to one of the darker moments of my childhood.

See, when I was a teen, I saw the Wall, and I saw the movie as a cautionary tale of what I could become. Because I had walls too. Walls that protected me, but also isolated me. So after the movie, rather than seeking help, I decided to try and take down my walls on my own.

It ... didnt go well.

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worrying episode yesterday

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I had a strange experience yesterday and I really need to talk about it. I was part of a group meeting all day, and even though I know the people well, I began to have a really unusual way of distancing myself - I began doodling. I'm no drawer, but I started making little pictures of anything I could think of. I still engaged others, but I couldn't stop drawing. I have no idea what this means, but it worries me.

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