Bailey Summers

Tea & Red Roses Part 3

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*Before….

She went to her car and opened the door and she looked at me and I looked at her and she said loud enough for me to hear her from over there.

“Chris?”

“Yeah…?”

“Thanks…”

She got in the car and she drove off and I just sort of stood there with this sort of kind of ache going on because that thanks…it just sounded on the edge of stuff grateful.

God that feeling when you think you have a crush on someone maybe and they’re kind of maybe hurting and you don’t know them well enough that it just sucks.

*And Now… and in the present from now on….

Tea & Red Roses Part 2

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*Before…

But I just couldn’t and I took another sip of tea before I asked. “So I don’t mean to pry or anything but is this your first time at a trans heavy bar?”
She looked like it hadn’t quite occurred to her, then I could see her turn it over and over in her head and she looked at me again and the look was different. The bright sparkle was gone but there was a thoughtful look instead of anything that I’ve seen that might mean trouble.
But her hand slid from mine ending the extended handshake and she looked me over again and this is a look I know, it’s that just found out and seeing if I pass, if she can tell or if she can pick out my many faults and flaws.
“So you’re a trans woman?”
I nodded and took another sip of my tea.
Chris took a drink of her club soda and set it down and looked out to where others were dancing and then back at me.
“So do trans girls dance?”
She offered me her hand and took hers and she led me out to where everyone else was and we started to dance with the crowd.

Tea & Red Roses Part 1

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I kept hearing the entire time I was getting out and graduating that I shouldn’t go to Toronto.

"It’s scummy and dirty and people are assholes."

Seriously that much I heard a lot. Like horror stories from people that moved from home and lived there and found out that life in a big city was a whole lot different than life in freaking Halifax.

But honestly I wanted to go.

And honestly, really honestly most of the people that were telling me things had this whole status of being special little snowflakes in high school and they moved out to go to university and in an actual real sized city and found out one amazing truth.

Nobody gave two shits that you were popular at home.

FTL-30…Faster Than Life.

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*Before…

“What!? That’s going to turn us to point right at them!”

“Yes sir, I think we have a grav-sheer wave coming at us and we best turn into that oncoming wave!”

“Gotcha right!”

I send alerts for the grav-sheer out on all channels as much as I can to everyone that I can…please, please listen, get up shields and turn into the wave.

He turns us into the invisible thing and I’m trying to readjust our grav sensors to get a reading and it’s seconds away and we’re not turning in time as it’s coming up on my screens and I hang on for dear life as we’re hit and we’re suddenly tossed and fuses blow and there’s puffs of smoke and things go dark.

*And Now…

Don’t Blame Me I’m A Martian-35

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*Before…

The GPS says we’re near a place called Ruby Valley, Nevada.
I look over at my Tuan, my beloved. “Where are we going now?”
“West…we head for California and then.”
“Then we look for Dylan?”
Serra looks at me. “First we get lost and then a safe house, and then we have to tell the other’s what’s going on.”
“And Dylan?...” I look out the window as we’re driving. “If they’re going to change then they’ll be going through it soon.”
Serra nods. “We’ll check, one of the hidden elders might have clues.”
I nod and bite my lip.
There’s so much to be scared for and of and right now I just really, really want to get my family back together and get home.

*And Now…

FTL-29...Faster Than Life.

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*Before…

I finish my lessons and skip ahead with two of the ones that are the most tedious for me and that’s calibrations and drive signatures and because they’re tedious I push myself a little harder because the things I like I tend to learn really fast and see through and I even ask the system for a quiz in each before setting my alarm in my OBC to wake me in plenty of time to catch my shuttle down to the surface.

New Ithaca… I wonder what it’s really like down there instead of the vids and the sim stuff. It’ll be my first of The Zodes that I’ll have set foot on and there’ll be deviants or deviations there right in the populace.

I’m not nervous but it’s still very, very different.

It also makes me wonder about my first contact friend, where are they and what are they doing?

*And Now…

7000 Gold crowns a dance.

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7000 Gold crowns a dance.

I joined up with the baron’s guards as a boy as much as I could as fast as I could. It was light things at first to escape myself. Escape the home where I was told relentlessly to stop crying, stop being a sissy and beaten by angry folk in my little steading fort for not being what they wanted.

It was apparent as soon as I could fathom that me being a lad was fundamentally wrong.

So it was working the fields and stables and cleaning and sharpening gear and staying warm and fed that was the biggest draw.

Bridges 48

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*Before….

I’m looking at my phone and trying to decide if I should say anything when I hear her yawn on the other side of the line and hear this happy, and amazing make my heart ache.

“Good morning beautiful, how’d you sleep?”

My wife, she stayed on the line with me all night on purpose…I pull her pillow into my arms and I hug it hard.

“I slept okay but this…It’s a great morning.”

“Mmm…good, I have to preggers pee so I’ll talk to you later hon?”

(Happy-sniffle.) “Yeah okay, I love you.”

“Love you too Mommy.”

I hear her lips touch her phone before hanging up and I’m sitting there hugging her pillow happy crying and even shaking a little too.

*And Now…

Sooners Than Later's Part 5

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Sooners than Later’s Part 5

*Before…

I’m actually doing something that my mother had done and likely her mother had done or dad’s mother had done but I’m doing it too. And I know it’s weird to even think that it’s such a like good thing because of the whole girls in the kitchen thing and all of that and I actually believe in being feminist and that those old stereotypes suck.

But they don’t so much right at this moment to me.

Sixteen Feet of Steel Chapter 21

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*Before…

I have one glass to get to my rooms and get cleaned up and then head to Lady Tatiana’s office to meet up with her.
There’s more blood in the things and the pad and I need to wash some more but my underwear was fine and I use the jakes and get cleaned up and then get some more clothes and such and kit myself for this whole damned woman’s mark experience and I head off to go to Lady Tatiana’s office.
There’s a couple of squires outside and they ask me to wait and show me to a bench and one even offers me a cup of tea which I’m grateful to have and sip at it and wait as there’s obviously some business going on and there’s other’s showing up and they have what looks to be a rolling rack of dresses and gowns and other things and the women are looking at me and I’m blushing as I realize that the size of most of these things are sized for me.
Finery female finery and all the kit to go with it from the clothes to the shoes by the look of it to scents and cosmetics.
Oh… oh I was not, definitely not expecting this to be happening and so soon.
I’m not sure that I’m ready to be my sister Gracia just yet.

My Super Secret life…Villain-19

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*Before…

I shrug and smile. “I have my secrets it’s part of my charm.”

Link looks frustrated and amused at the same time. “It is dammit.”

I finish my coffee and I start getting everything on and finish it all with leather gloves those thin ones you see as the fancy type on TV as presents and stuff for women and black combat/hiking boots.

I’m moving around and getting a feel for it and Link looks at me and gives me a thumbs up while she’s yawning. “Looks good kinda paramilitary though.”

“I wanted lots of pockets.”

“I thought that you’d go all cape and cowl spooky like.”

I look at her as I’m actually fitting my gear in to all the pouches and pockets and slots. “No capes.”

*And Now…

My Super Secret Life…Scarlet-20.

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*Before…

………………………….And then Settler’s Day or NH Thanksgiving comes up pretty fast.

Nikki’s going home to her folks place and…so am I.

I mean my home not her home and I’ve wanted to sort of do this for a couple of weeks now.

I need to have a family talk and see where they are about all of this and about me and I’ll have to talk to mom first since she’s the only one that I know of out of the family that was in the running. She’ll hopefully be okay enough with things that we can hash all of this out and help me with the paper work that Victory has given me so that she and dad can sign off on Darcy so there’s an official if needed paper trail.

Now do I drive and go as Dale or do I pack a bag and things and fly there as Darcy/Scarlet?

*And Now…

My Super Secret Life…Diamond-12.

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We actually just sort of gather together around all the unconscious meta-animals and sort of wait a few minutes for the aero-cruisers and armored aero-transport get here and are landing and the prisoners are getting put away and Mrs. Champion looks at me. “C’mon we’re going with that ride.”

“Really? Me?”

“Yeah you you’re one of our heavies and it’ll look good too. The public likes it when we reassure them that we’ll keep an eye on people like them.”

“Okay…uhm…cool.”

She nods. “Now armor up as we’re getting in and give the press a little wave as we get in.”

Sixteen Feet of Steel Chapter 20

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*Before… Elizabetha

And then I can see the shorelines and then just out about a mile from the shore and the beaches is…
The White Spire… out on the coast… City Island…that’s actually the name of this place the only city that is on an island here and not just bordering the water.
Home of mother’s house…House Petrel.
The keep is all of pale sandstone blocks as in the wall for the city but The White Spire as well…it’s is actually a beacon within a tower an ancient marvel and responsibility called a lighthouse.
The whole city as I’m coming down is both more lovely than I remember with there being the same sort of colors around so much here and stone homes great and small to weather all manner of storms and clay interlocking tiled roofs.
People are pointing, bells are being wrung and men at arms are running out of barracks into the courtyard armed with spears and crossbows and cutlasses.
The bubble breaks and I fall as soon as I try to stand and my legs are too numb.
I yell though. “Fetch Grandfather! Please now!”

*And Now…

My Super Secret Life-36.

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*Before…

Sunny me inside though is livid…there’s this girl part of me that is so pissed beyond measure that she’s such a heartless bitch. That part’s been asleep for the most part lately but I can feel it, not like a sentient side of me but something in the core of where I started is really offended.

I know it’s sexist and stuff but part of me inside just can’t get over that sort of utter disregard for the lives of others.

What Comes Next

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What Comes Next…

We all wonder that when we finally take those first forays out of the closet. When we finally do the do or die part of transition and have nothing left to loose and take that one big step. That one huge step.

I did…I did tonight with me actually getting past my old life and my old relationship and the carnage that it wreaked on my soul and after what felt like a lifetime I finally screwed up every little bit of courage that I had and I went out of a date.

Janey met Jamie.

Hi I’m Janey.

Sunshine...Parts 9 and 10. The Finale

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Sunshine… Parts 9 and 10. The Finale

Part 9

*Joel………………..

It’s sex, its great sex and not a huge marathon but somewhere between a quickie and normal sex. It’s always good. I get a triple play this morning one for her by oral and two the old fashioned way before she gets me to my own home run.

Forgotten Hearts

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Will got a call from a niece he had never met who's mother another woman, a trans woman that he never knew existed had been in a bad car accident and he was the only one that could help. He wasn't expecting what happened after he got there.

Bridges 47

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*Before…

I do this for a reason, you lay down the law and they know what’s going on. Every shift you get people tired of waiting wanting to know where they are in the queue. They almost always cause trouble or get loud or upset the staff it happened a lot in Afghanistan and the same ones were the complainers and that’s the ones with the self-important sort of looks on their faces.
If you give then the how it works then you can actually run things smoother, and the staff doesn’t get hassled or intimidated and also…also the message of they don’t mess around will spread after a couple of weeks or so.
I call out the first name from the first sheet I have and they actually sort of do a bit of civilian hustle getting to me.
I give her a smile. “Alright you’re my first number and that’s a fourteen.”
I give her a Post –it and I start to triage her and write down my notes.

*And Now…

Snakes and Ladders-39

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*Before…

We sort of stop and we’re doing this sort of linked up kind of processing about all of the stuff we’ve been talking about and she steps up to the food tables.

“After we eat you and me we’ll take Bhlaze out and we’ll practice.”

“Flying patrol, and isn’t it dangerous out there?”

“Flying patrol and it is dangerous and we have Bhlaze with us so we have a dragon to watch over us.”

“And while we’re gone?”

“We help Kyte out with her family and leave her in charge.”

I smile. “That’s actually a good idea, her cousin Rafe might have a WTF over that and if not at least it’ll be a good thing for her and her men.”

*And Now…

Sooners than Laters Part 4

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*Before…

We head inside to get some other things and I look for a few other odds and ends like a table cloth that mom would have used for the picnic table and some other things like plates and cups and Quinn’s out in the garage getting the good lawn chairs those canvas fishing chairs with the cup holders and things and we’re just getting things looking nice actually when I hear a familiar car engine pulling in and it’s Quinn’s folks getting here.

I look at her and she looks at me and she looks just as scared as I am.

Seriously coming out and not being straight is just as hard as coming out as trans. It’s Oklahoma and it’s a really big deal.

Being straight’s a big deal.

*And Now…

X-Why-Me?… Chapter 21

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*Before…

“But this, this was really worth it Emily, god this feels so normal.”

“Well we’re hardly normal.”

“No but it’s good enough, close enough.”

Emily was going to say something else but she just felt it instead that whole push pull as she stood on her tiptoes and pulled Kira into a pretty strong kiss.

All the way into hearing her parents doing the really pointed coughing.

Her Mom was there watching red faced and her Dad there with just a grin. “Dishes done we’re breaking out Trivial Pursuit.”

She broke the kiss and looked at the kitchen. “Yeah, just give us a second and we’ll be right out.”

It only took a few moments to wipe down the sink and counter then they joined everyone in the living room sharing a space on the floor around the coffee table.

*And Now…

Unconventional chapter 4

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Unconventional Chapter 4

*Before…

I’m right into it a whole lot when I see Jennifer’s Starbuck’s better as a brunette thing come up in my e-mails and I log in and see her out in like places and she’s sent me selfies of her being legitimate her and like at a park I think and with some other kids that are sort of like in the back ground and kind of photo bombing.

Friends…

Yeah it’d be nice to have friends like that here.

Snakes and Ladders-38

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*Before…

“Wondertales from home, I’ve come up with a way to show you how to see them and I can share things from home I hope.”

We I make cheeseburgers with ground meat and as close to the condiments as I could find and the cheese and the buns were easy and frying pan cooked chips now that I know that potatoes are such a thing here and I have chocolate and cookies that are really the closest thing to graham wafers and I bought marshmallows there too and I make smores.

And using some of the sound power ideas from my air horn blast and focusing a light spell as a more of a tube based TV and stuff to show things I create a sphere that lets me show them things.

A little power in my memories to do a recall spell and I show them. “The Secret of Nimh.”

It works and while it’s strange for me to experience it this way basically replaying things from locked up memory wisps it’s so much fun to watch these two be just girls and themselves and just get lost in things.

And snuggling with a truly happy Shaya is pretty awesome too.

*And Now…

Sooners than Laters Part 3

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*Before…

He looks at me. “We’ve got company coming over and a big talk to be had for that too so we best get to shucking this corn.”

He heads into the kitchen and takes ice cream he bought and puts it in the freezer of the fridge and then he puts a couple of six packs in the fridge. Then he takes the bags of corn and heads outside and does the head motion for me to follow and I do and Quinn comes with us and Dad gets some of the chairs we have for the back deck and then drags the composter over so we can just like put the silks and the leaves into the composter and we start to shuck corn and it’s quiet for a bit and then Dad coughs and starts.

“So have you kids heard of Leelah Alcorn?”

Masks 45

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*Before…

We’re still going and I miss out on a few things as he’s drinking and reading some hardcover book called Lioness Rampant and Mary Jane nudges me hard.

I look at her. “Huh?”

She and the girls are looking at me and laughing….and it kind of hits what I was doing and I turn red.

Holy cheese I was just checking out a boy.

When the heck did that start to happen?

*And Now…

FTL-28...Faster Than Life

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*Before…

It’s a flagship too like The Apollo but it really isn’t.

Long but with top and bottom sleek beveled armor and it looks sleek and then there’s the grand tower of the bridge and then there’s these huge arms/bridging sections that come off of it and extend out to these pods and each of these pods is like casing and FTL protections for smaller combat warships that it’s carrying.

Like sixteen of them in the two kilometer length ready to detach and disengage at will and that’s not even coming close to the hundred plus meter middle strip of the ship between the plate that is literally turrets and weapons and landing and fighter bays.

You know you’re really becoming part of the military culture when you see something like that and you smile.

I smiled because we were so close we could amplify to visual and see it in detail.

Heck I didn’t know what I was seeing with everything until I heard the watch commander talking about it with definite reverence.

The sound of someone who served on something like that.

I want to serve maybe on something like that.

*And Now…

Sooners than Laters Part 2

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He takes his food and the paper and his notes. “I’ll be in my office, I’d really appreciate it if you don’t leave the house like this right now until I have some time and get a chance to run this through my head and to pray on it for a while.”
I swallow hard.
I look at him and I nod.
He looks at me.
Drinks his coffee. “Don’t get changed though…I’ll be in and out all day and I want this…the way you look to still be here like this…until I work it all through my head.”
“Y..yes sir.”
Did dad just say it was alright to stay dressed?”
I’m actually kind of confused.
And I’m still confused and scared and sort of left hanging as I watch him go to his office and he closes the door.
Quinn comes over to me and she slips onto my lap and she pulls me close. “Well that could have gone worse.”
She’s right, she’s right and I know that she’s right and yet I’m still losing it because of my nerves and starting to hang onto her and cry anyways.

*And Now…

Sooner than Laters Part 1

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Sooners than Laters Part 1

I’m awake before the alarm clock goes off and it jars my dreams apart and I open my eyes and reality crashes in around me.

Today’s the day.

I literally can’t put this off anymore.

I roll out of bed and there’s the jiggle there, not really there, but definitely there.

Confused Yet?

Starter boobs.

Hey, there I’m Deidre.

Self care stop.

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Well it's that time of year again. I'm working too many hours still and still doing parental care plus now the humidity and the heat's getting rough levels here and to top everything off my lying and theiving drug addict brother's hitting the point where the hard cheap drugs are meeting his age and he’s even more of a mess, a mess that other family who are just as bad as him now want to dump back into my life.

So like the last brotherly drama writing will likely be nil for awhile.

I will be using both hands just to hang on, so typing will be slow.

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Sixteen Feet of Steel Chapter 19

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*Before….Gracia

Valhalla…

Named after the home of some of the lost gods or such.
The Capitol city of the High King and it’s built in these huge levels with like a star or a sun at the bottom and then it rises in huge, huge tiers and adorned with these fancy buildings all smooth and lit up and there’s the glitter of so much light and so much glass.
It looked like a fancy gigantic cake.
I…it…was headed for the palace…the castle called Whitehall…and I barely got a look besides it being huge almost a small city with towers and tall buildings all of its own before I crashed into a fancy garden with flowers and trees that looked decorative and in the end a gazebo of fine wood.
The soldiers came running with fancy spears and some with swords and some with crossbows and I remember seeing a man with a very nice uniform on like the others but with the best embroidery I’ve ever seen and he loomed over me with a dagger at the ready.
“Who are you girl and what sorcery be this!?”
“Gracia…Princess Gracia Lyonnes…my father…my…The Lion has fallen…”
It’s all I could get out.
This man his expression changed to shock then concern and things faded to black as I hear him yelling though he seems far away.
“Get the knight captain! Fetch a healer!”
And that was how I'm here, crying...so very far from home.

*And Now…

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