I would very much like to think I would find a point in which I had no more of these fantasies "in me" as it were. Unfortunately, I don't think that time will come anytime soon, so I'll continue to contribute these almost memories as necessary.

Ms. Tandy held up the doll and asked if anyone knew what it was.

One girl said, "A doll."

The teacher replied, "Come on, if it was that easy, I wouldn't have asked."

"Oh! Oh!" another girl called. "I know! I know!"

"...You are going to be going thru much of what most transgenders go thru in what they call their ‘transition’. That is the time when they start to live their lives as a woman. It usually is done for a year or two before they have sexual reassignment surgery.” he said as he continued to write on the form the LT had given him. “Sue, that is to say Doctor Jones, is one of the best in the world in helping with transitions. And besides, she can help you get new I.D. since I don’t think anyone would believe that you are Gabe anymore....”

Last Time:
...As we went in, our hostess was someone I used to work with when I was behind the parts counter at the local Hardly Dangerous dealer, (you think I’m that nuts to get sued for copyright violations?) so I had to play it cool and not do anything stupid. Surprisingly, lunch was rather un-eventful, well, other then the fact that I couldn’t eat half of what I used to be able to do. (The Dinosaur has this platter called the “Tres Grand Hombre’s” it’s half a chicken, a  ½ rack of ribs, and  ½ pound of pulled pork, two sides and corn bread. I used to pound one of those and then get a piece of home made pie.) I took my “to go” box and we headed back “home.”

I just looked at her in shock. “I don’t understand.”

“I was born a boy too. But an accident on my dad’s farm caused my genitals to get ripped off my body. They couldn’t put them back on, so my parents made the choice to have the doctors turn me into a girl. It was either that or live life as a male without the part of my body that makes me one.

Having to reveal my thoughts on transition to Saint Nicholas made me a little uncomfortable. I wondered secretly whether he even had the power to fulfill my desire. “Sir, it seems that my feeling that my body was of the wrong sex was prevalent even in my preteens. I suppressed those feelings thinking the it was not natural and a passing fad. As I reached my teen years and found that I would be different from my mates, I found myself questioning my masculinity."

"That's not what I meant," she countered. "I mean that you have to behave. You can't be tricky and get around the rules. Rules are rules, and if you don't watch out, they can really bite you in the butt. If you're going to be a girl and not get caught at it, you have to keep your nose clean, keep a low profile, and not draw attention to yourself. You might think that teachers and adults are old and stupid, but they ignore a lot of stuff. They let a lot slide. If you flaunt the rules, people will notice, and when they have their chance, they'll lower the boom on you. Do you get me?"

Warning: the following contains adult situations and extreme language. If you are easily offended, or just are not old enough legally to be viewing this, please leave now. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED! This is a complete work of fiction, any resemblance to persons either alive or dead is pure coincidence, and not intended. This is the first chapter in the story of a college student who changes from a man to a woman. It’s written as a letter he leaves on his computer to be found by who ever notices him missing. I’ve been told that there are times when my writing doesn’t have enough emotion in it. Well I hope this is enough for you.

Gordon did not know what to think when Dave first walked in with Simon. He had been looking forward to cooling out with the guys after yet another unpleasant week. Working temporary jobs was rarely nice, but he was still unable to find anything else. His times spent with the guys were one of the few ways he got to escape real life, if only for just a few hours.

"Mark, look. This isn't some sitcom on TV. It's real life. It's high school. Kids can be very cruel. You never know — one tiny slip, one little detail could give you away, and it would all be over. Then what would you do? Leave school? Run away?"