As I shuffled along behind the gloriously beautiful Amazons, I said to myself, I need a bath and I look awful. And *that* means I'm awake. I stink; therefore, I am.

The Distant Queen

by Terry Volkirch

This story is mainly about a romance between two young women who are from two different worlds. It's a fantasy story with some adventure but there are no mythical creatures and there isn't a lot of magic. It's really a sweet and tender romantic comedy with a mostly happy ending.

Author's note: This story starts slowly. It takes several chapters to create the setting and background. The romance just barely begins in chapter 4 and doesn't start to blossom until chapter 6. Please be patient. Please? :)

When I'd told her the basic story, I asked, "Do you believe me?"

"Well, no," she said. "It's impossible."

"Yeah, but," Eden countered, "— and not that I want to talk you out of it or anything — you know that you don't have to do girly stuff to be a girl. You of all people should know that."

"All of your life, even when you were a child, I've heard people say how brave and clever you are. Well! I've never believed it, and I don't believe it now! I've never seen any proof! All I see is a spoiled little, vain little, empty-headed girl. Still, now's the test! Now we'll see whether I am right or you are wrong."

"Isn't that the same thing?" Nina asked.

I have sometimes found myself wondering if vampires have problems with the hems of their cloaks fraying, as they glide along with the fancy, satin, floor-length item trailing behind. It seems to me that some type of ball-bearing system, offering both weight, to assist in the dramatic drape of the cloak, and protection, from the ground upon which they are dragged, may be a good idea (ignoring the noise that would make the whole appearing from nowhere more difficult). So it was not surprising that last night this thought crystallized into a Far Side like vision of some salesmen, knocking on the door of a vampire’s castle, with the caption, ‘Rex Simpson, door-to-door salesman of the Heminator-5000.’ And though this story has nothing to do with that vision, it did lead my mind to wander in this direction, rather than letting me go to sleep.

"All the girls had odd names... Dutch names. They were odd for Americans, but maybe quite normal for Dutch girls."

Nina nodded. "Did they all have blond hair and wooden shoes?"

Easy As Boiling Up A Cake.
by Angharad
part 327

I arranged with Tom to finish early so I could go and see Stella. I worked like mad all morning, so by lunch time apart from two tutorials, I'd more or less finished. I saw the students together after asking them first and they both found the experience useful, so did I; I got off an hour earlier.

"It isn't pink," she said defensively. "I know you don't like pink, so I didn't get pink. It's Peach Puff."

<In the Get Smart television series, CONTROL agent Charlie Watkins was a master of female disguise. Played by actress Angelique Pettyjohn, she/he was a sexy, gorgeous undercover spy. Maxwell Smart found blonde bombshell Charlie, much to his chagrin, disconcertingly attractive. Written a few years ago, an updated And Loving It! is presented on Big Closet in honor of the Get Smart film release.>

CHAPTER ONE

"Dude, we HAVE to get back there and see Zodiac!"

"Noone gets backstage without a pass." The security guard pushed the two overweight men back.

"Cummon, we'll do anything!"

Easy As Strangling A Certain Cat!
by: not >^^<
part:322.

I rushed down to see my latest babies, who were doing fine, they should Spike was an experienced mother. However, I was wasting valuable time, I had so much to do. I would have preferred to stand and gawp at the wonder of new life, but I had to get some things done.

Easy As Killing Little Furry Things.
by Bonzi >^^<
part:320

I was eating my sandwich catching up on some marking when Pippa called through. "Tom wants to see you."

"Any idea what about?"

"He didn't say but he is a little exercised about something."

"What time does he want me?"

"Like yesterday!"

"I have a tutorial in half an hour."

"Um, I'm okay," she said with a puzzled frown. "What are you doing here? Why aren't you dressed?"

"I don't know," I replied. "I've been asking myself the same question."

At that, Nina burst into laughter. "Oh, Marcie, you are so funny!"

Easy As Walling Up A Kite.
by Bonzi trans. his mum.
part:318

I drove home wondering what this Hickman person wanted. I wasn't exactly new news, rather the opposite. I was very old news. So why would anyone want to do an interview? I don't live in a fabulous house, or live with David Beckham or Brad Pitt, so why would anyone be interested?

She paused, aghast at a sudden thought. "You're not a cheerleader, are you?"

"No," I said. "Never have been, never will be."

"Oh, good!" she cried, with obvious and immense relief. "I mean... not that there's anything wrong with cheerleaders!"

"But what if it isn't?" I asked her. "What if it's not going to be alright?"

She took a deep breath and said, "Then we deal with it. Whatever that means."

"No, it wasn't that..." I hesitated. "It was Ms. Gifford..."

I wasn't sure how much I wanted to say. The real reason I was upset was all the media attention... what it might lead to. What it would have to lead to, if it kept up. If the reporters started looking into my life, they'd find out pretty quickly that I used to be a boy.

Easy As Falling Off A Step
by Tripwire Bonzi
part: 315 (which is 21 x 15 for 15 or 21 fetishists)

This is really the story of a vacation I took in the South Seas, or mostly the story of my South-Sea vacation. Susan would say that it's ostensibly about my vacation. Don't worry if you don't know what "ostensibly" means... it will all become clear once I get underway.

Easy As Falling Off A Bike
by Angharad, illustrations by Bonzi.
part 309.

After dinner, I shut the last item in the dishwasher and sunk into the chair. Ever since the incident in the supermarket, Stella had hovered around me, like a giant mosquito. It was getting on my nerves and I was desperately trying not to say anything I'd regret.

"Are you tired, Cathy?"

Easy As Falling Off A Bike
by Angharad
part:307

After showering and dressing, I felt a bit less dopey. Things had gone better than I'd imagined regarding the funeral. Stella seemed to be much better, although I was hardly aware that she had slept with me all night.

Easy As Calling For A Mic.
by Angharad Bonzifeeder
part:305

I called Stella and asked her to bring some jewellery with her for me to look at. While Simon was still in the shower, I dressed and rushed down to the cleaners with my suit, the blouse I could press myself.