The Benton Country Club was a handsome brick building that had been built on top of a hill. The Country club was the playground for the bourgeoisie of the town. A nine hole golf course surrounded the building and attached to the building was a deep, oval-shaped swimming pool and beside the swimming pool was a tennis court. To become a member, one had to vote in. It was also clannish, with just one vote against you being enough to black ball you from ever joining the club again.
The Benton Country Club was also ground zero for any and all major social events that took place in Benton. I'll give you an example: each summer they would host the annual Cotillion Ball for all marriageable ladies of the bourgeoisie class. To be invited one had to be at least sixteen and be attending or have attended either one of the two private academies in Benton. Benton Academy if you were a protestant or St. Clare's Academy if you were a Catholic. You also had to have a well established woman of high social standing be willing to stand in and present you.
That was all too formal for me. On the other hand a Debutante Ball was normally a private celebration put on by one family to celebrate their daughter reaching the age of sixteen. Normally just one’s family and a few close friends of the girl would be invited to attend the ball. Of course, I had to invite Jamie Sarah Potter, my best friend forever. And her sister Lily Elizabeth Potter who had helped me in learning all the proper social cue's for this event.
And of course Jamie and I had to invite our boyfriends too. And of course our little sister Cerridwen and her boyfriend James Bell who was often called Daisy by us. And last but not least Robin and her little sister and Lana and her little sister. All in all everybody who I'd come to know, love and cherish like family had been invited to attend. I kind of wish I could have invited my cousin's Susan and Linda, but they were attending their own ball that night at McRaven, Vicksburg's famous haunted house. And also rumored to be one of the most haunted houses in Mississippi.
Now, as I stood there in the powder room that’s what they call the women's restroom at the country club, admiring myself once more in the mirror. I was wearing a strapless coral pink dress that was adorned with a pearl necklace and a jeweled tiara. My shoulder length hair had been put into a regal bun. And my nails polished and painted a matching pink color. As I stood there looking into the mirror. I truly felt like a princess that had stepped right off the pages of a fairy tale. The only thing missing was for my prince charming to come rushing in and to sweep me off my feet and into his waiting arms.
“Wow.” A voice from the doorway called out. The voice belonged to a blonde haired girl, who had sparkling blue eyes and a petite frame. “When you clean up. You really clean up. I don't think I've ever seen you wearing a gown before. Heck the only time I see you wearing a dress is either when you're at work or going to church.” The blonde girl said as she smiled at me.
“It feels nice. I might start wearing one more often.” I said looking at myself once more in the mirror. “So enjoying the party?” I asked the blonde girl I knew who was none of that Jamie Sarah Potter. Who seemed like her older sister Lily Potter bound to become the leading socialite of Benton. She had all the right credentials. For one she was a Potter, and everybody knew the Potter's were one of Benton's wealthiest families, two she attended the Benton Academy, the cradle of protestant bourgeoisie of Benton, three she was a cheerleader, and last but not least the younger sister of Lily Potter.
“It's nice. Were waiting on the guest of honor though.” She said moving into the room. “The party can't truly began until the guest of honor arrives.” She said as she peered toward me, she then reached down and my gloved hand into her hand.
“And who would be that guest of honor?” I said blushing a little.
“Don't play coy with me, Madeline Brewer.” Jamie said as she peered into my eyes. “You know what that guest of honor is.” Jamie said, smiling a little as she peered toward me, her baby blue eyes seemed to twinkle in the dim light of the room.
I blushed as she peered toward Jamie.
“Also, because I'm your best friend I need to remind you that you still need to sign up to play Dotty!” She said as she peered into my eyes. “Because you promised to play Dotty if I'd volunteered and they're looking for somebody to play Dotty this month.”
“You're never going to let me forget that, are you?” I said, peering toward Jamie.
“Nope, because what are friends for?” Jamie said smiling she then reached down and wrapped her gloved fingers around mine and without saying another word she lifted me up and pulled me to my feet. This totally took me by surprise.
“Jamie, why are you pulling me by the wrist like a naughty child?” I asked as I was pulled toward the door that connected the powder room with the main room of the club.
“Because, this is your party, and I'm not going to let my best friend hide herself away and pout the night away. Everybody out there is waiting for you girl, they want to see their best friend, their big sister, the girl who's going to kick this one horse town to the side one day and set the world on fire!”
I felt my face flush with color and soon I found myself being pulled into the main area of the club. The minute Jamie pulled me through the door, was the moment I felt my breath being taken away. You could almost feel the shift in the room. All motion stopped and all eyes became fixed on me. It was truly a sight to see, Matthew my boyfriend was dressed in the nines, he wore a formal tuxedo and so was Jamie's boyfriend Ben.
Cerridwen my little sister wore a sparkling purple gown that seemed to sparkle like the night sky. Her shoulder length jet black hair was pulled back in a tight bun. I could tell she was unsure of herself, I've only seen Cerridwen wear skirts before, and sometimes she'll wear a dress if she was going to church with her dad or attending some social event around town. Standing beside her was her boyfriend Daisy, who was my cousin. Daisy had bright pink eyes that almost seemed red and long, blonde hair and round, oval shape face. Sometimes I think nature did him a disservice by having him be born a boy instead of a girl. But he made a very pretty boy. Like Cerridwen he seemed unsure of himself in his form fitting tuxedo. I think he would have felt more comfortable in a formal gown, poor fellow.
Behind Cerridwen and Daisy I saw Lana and her little sister Katherine, both wearing formal gowns, and standing a little to the side I noticed Lily and her best friend Robin standing together. And at that very moment I felt my heart about to burst. I felt surrounded by a loving family of people who I knew would support me no matter what life could toss at me.
“Ladies and gentleman!” A woman with blonde hair said. “I give you Ms. Madeline Diana Brewer.” She called out. “Who tonight is taking her place among the belle's of Benton.” The blonde woman called out in a refined voice.
'Yes' I wanted to call out. 'Madeline Diana Brewer' is the name I'd given myself two and a half years ago in the reading room of UMC. And at that very moment I had a sudden flashback. I was standing there once more, in a thin hospital gown, shivering in the coldness of the room. I remember I was holding a children's book in my trembling hands. When all of a sudden a nurse, a strange nurse that seemed to have an earthly glow surrounding her appeared and told me all the other nurses on the floor were searching for me. Then she called me by a name that made my blood boil like water in a kettle that's been placed over an open flame.
She called me 'Mark'. The name that my birth mother had given me, the name that had haunted me. Don't get me wrong 'Mark' is a fine name, it's a Biblical name. But I was not a 'Mark' and at that moment I knew I had a choice to make. I knew I could accept the name 'Mark' and take the scolding that was coming for sneaking out of my hospital room. And once I'd been chastised for sneaking out of my room in the middle of the night I could return, with my head bent down and crestfallen. Knowing that deep within my heart I had passed up on the chance to strike out and take hold of my life.
Or I could correct this nurse and tell her a different name. A name of my own choosing. A name that meant something, a name that I could be proud of. A name that I could live with. And without thinking, without knowing why, the name 'Madeline' just popped into my head. And so I decided to roll with it. I told that phantom nurse that my name was not 'Mark' but 'Madeline' and she accepted it.
And others accepted it, and from then on it seemed that God had placed people in my life who also accepted it and had deemed it their mission to help become 'Madeline'. And so that struggle, that struggle to become 'Madeline' had led me here, two and a half years of fighting the system. Getting my name legally changed from 'Mark Allen Brewer' to 'Madeline Diana Brewer' to getting a new Social Security Card with that name, to getting a Bank Account with that name, to getting first and Mississippi Learners permit with that name then a Drivers License had lead me here.
Yes, it was now all coming full circle. From now till the day I died, the whole world would know me as 'Madeline Diana Brewer'.
“Good evening everybody.” I said, trying to smile a little.
Then mom walked up beside me and in a gentle tone of voice she whispered into my ear. 'It is tradition to give a little welcome speech before the party starts. Just try to keep it short and sweet sweetie.” She said as she placed her laced fingernails on my shoulder and walked off with a wink.
And indeed the crowd seemed to be waiting for me to say something. Some form of address. Now I've never been much for public speaking. I dread having to read the lessons aloud each week during Mass. But still I steeled myself and cleared my throat.
“Friends and family, thank you for joining me tonight. Without you, none of this would have been possible.” I said blushing. “First I would like to thank two of the most wonderful women in my life. That is my older sister Kayla Brewer and her soon to lovely wife Heather Ford.” I said as I peered toward the two, how I had the good sense and grace to blush as the attention was shifted on them for a brief moment.
“I would also like to thank my best friend Jamie Sarah Potter, for her friendship, support and just being the best friend a girl would ask for. And Cerridwen Whitethorn for giving me a reason to strive to the best woman I can be. Little sisters are a pain in the butt it's true. But they give big sisters a reason to strive to the best they can.” I saw Cerridwen and Jamie blush as the attention was shifted onto them.
“And my boyfriend Matthew who has never left my side since I've moved to Benton.” I paused. And decided now was a good time to take the plunge. “As many of you know, I was not born 'Madeline' I was born a shy, brooding boy named 'Mark'. One day my birth mother discovered me wearing her new Sunday frock. She flew off the handle and loaded me in the car, still wearing the frock.. I knew where she was taking me, she was taking me to her cousin's place in the country.”
At that moment I knew I had their full attention.
“Mom was driving like a bat out of hell that evening. Snow was falling and the roads were icing up. Mom hit a patch of black ice, and the car spun out of control. It slid down a ditch bank and into a roadside ditch that was filled with trees and water. Mom was killed within seconds, her neck snapped and her head smashed like a watermelon against the windshield. I lived though I was pretty banged up.” I paused.
“Anyway, I was airlifted to UMC and spent three weeks in their ICU unit. For the first few days I was on the ventilator while the doctors and nurses tried to patch me up. There were doubts I would ever walk again and just a bit of confusion. I don't remember much. But I remember hating myself because I thought I was to blame for the wreck. Anyway after being released from the ICU unit, I happened to run across a nurse named Amanda Fairchild who helped me take the first step in 'Becoming Madeline' as I call it. That is where you guys come in. Each one of you helped me mature and grow as a person to become the best 'Madeline possible. So thank you for that.”
There was not a dry eye in the house.
“So! Y'all this is as much your party as it is mine! Now let's get this party started! Come on Y'all mom says we have until midnight to night to go as buck wild as we please. So let's raise the roof and give this town something to talk about for generations to come!”
And so we started to party.
