Another slow, boring day at work. The corporate drone in the meeting Natalie just left had been going on for hours about a bunch of stuff she didn’t remotely care for. What was the meeting even about anyway? It had just ended and already she couldn’t recall.

At least her lunch break had arrived so she could openly drown in her sorrows in the worker’s lounge. She hadn’t actually brought a lunch, eating would require a level of effort and commitment that she, at the moment, wasn’t able to uphold. She hadn’t eaten breakfast either, she simply couldn’t eat at all.

To say she was having an identity crisis would be an understatement.

She took a seat in the lounge and leaned to the side, doing nothing but stare ahead with unfocused eyes.

***

Natalie lost track of the time. Hell, she lost track of everything. Her mind was just completely unable to do even the barest amount of effort. And really, why bother? Doing mental work meant being reminded of who and what she was, as well as who and what she wasn’t.

She continued to sit idle in her chair, not responding to anything for what felt like hours. Her lunch break was only thirty minutes long, and usually that stretch of time passed very quickly. But not today. Today, her break felt excruciatingly long, and she didn’t care when it’d be over.

It came to her attention that someone was calling her name. She turned toward the sound and saw Ashley, a close friend of hers.

“I almost thought you passed out. I was really worried.”

Natalie stared into her face. “Ashley”, she thought. That name taunted her entire being. Of course it had to be a feminine version of HIS name. But that wasn’t her fault. Natalie couldn’t get mad at that.

No, what she could get mad at was the fact that this woman may not have even known who she was a few months earlier, despite the fact that they supposedly met in this workplace two years ago. The evidence was clear, “Nathan” had no real friends outside of the psychopath, so Natalie’s friendship with Ashley and everything they shared together was totally and completely artificial, only brought into existence through a magic spell.

Did Ashley even exist before “Natalie”? Probably, in the trial that apparently really happened it was stated that creating a whole new person from scratch was way outside the capabilities of anyone on Earth. So at least Ashley herself was real, even if their friendship wasn’t.

“Some meeting today, huh?” Ashley said, trying to lighten Natalie’s depressed mood. “I thought that guy would never shut up.”

Natalie didn’t even attempt to respond. Until now, none of her coworkers had talked to her at all that day. They did, however, have looks of sympathy on their faces whenever seeing her. Clearly they had heard about Astian going missing, and didn’t know what to say to console her. They all probably assumed that was the reason why she was so distant and quiet, and Natalie was at the point where she wished that was actually the case, that Astian going missing was the only reason she was feeling down.

Ashley’s expression turned nervous.

“Hey… I know you’ve been through a lot recently, and… I just want to make sure you’re okay. Maybe we could go out to eat sometime this week. Maybe spend the weekend together. Would you be okay with that?”

It almost sounded like she was asking her out on a date. Regardless, Natalie continued to say nothing, but she did nod her head.

“Thanks.” Ashley replied, smiling.

Ashley tried to converse with her for at least another few minutes, but it was a losing effort. Natalie only gave one word answers and quiet grunts in place of actual responses. She wasn't in the mood for talking, to say the least.

Eventually, a timer started sounding off, and Ashley got out her phone.

“Looks like my break is over.” She said. “Gonna have to leave now. Stay safe tonight, okay?”

Ashley left before Natalie could even question what she meant by that.

***

The second her shift ended, Natalie exited her work building, never once stopping to chat with any of her coworkers. She went outside, got to her car, and immediately began the drive home.

After walking up the seemingly endless flight of stairs to her apartment, she went to her room and collapsed onto her bed. What little energy she had during the workday was all but depleted now. She just wanted some sleep, and to not have to think about her sorry, sorry life.

She turned to her side in the bed and almost forgot about the man she always saw right before falling asleep. Well, he was still there, and he was still looking out that damned window.

***

It may have not been the most productive day ever, considering he was still unemployed, but regardless Nathan was feeling unusually good that night. Throughout the day he had applied to numerous jobs, and he was eagerly waiting for anyone to call back.

He was about to go to the refrigerator for a drink, but he soon stopped himself, not seeing the point. It wasn’t a special occasion of any sort, and there was no social gathering at the moment, so why did he need to drink? It was funny, yesterday it took some internal debate for him to not have a second drink, only eventually deciding not to out of an ambivalent commitment to the newly imposed “one drink per day” rule placed upon him. Today, he had no desire at all to have even a first drink. He guessed the thrill of productivity was enough to sustain his mind.

He saw Astian enter the dining room and take a seat on one of the chairs, doing something on his phone.

“Hey.” Nathan said to him. “You said something about me applying to college, and I think tomorrow I’d like to do that. You’re, uh, gonna need to show me whatever your insane method for getting a late application accepted is, though.”

“Huh?” Astian’s head perked up. “Oh… umm… don’t worry about that.”

“Why? You were the one who told me I should go back to college.”

“Yeah, uh…” Astian rubbed the bridge of his nose. “That won’t be needed anymore.”

“Then why’d you tell me to go back to college in the first place? I can’t just apply right now alone.”

Astian turned back to his phone. “I said don’t worry about it. Just keep doing what you’re doing and everything will be fine.”

Not wanting to press on, Nathan simply replied “okay”.

***

Nathan shaved the last of his facial hair off his chin. He took a towel and thoroughly rubbed his face, looking in the bathroom mirror for the result.

He squinted his eyes in confusion.

There was no hair left, not even a trace or a shadow. Just entirely smooth skin stretching across his whole face.

He felt his chin with his hand. He hadn’t had a face this smooth since he was about thirteen. This was the kind of face you’d get from laser hair removal or electrolysis. How could it be possible to perform such a thorough shave by yourself?

Confused, Nathan left the bathroom and headed to bed, falling asleep in hopes of a better life soon arriving to him.

***

When Nathan woke up and immediately saw the darkness around him, he groaned, realizing he had just taken a long nap on his off hours and wouldn’t be able to fall asleep again in time before having to go to work.

He fell back to his pillow, closed his eyes, and… wait, what? A job? He didn’t have a job. Wait, what was going on?

Natalie instantly sprang up in her bed, everything coming back to her all at once.

She was… and then HE was… and then…

Natalie clenched her quickly beating heart in fear.

She just had another memory revealed to her in a dream. One she could clearly recall happening in her life as well. The second day she was staying at Astian’s apartment. The day where she started noticing a few odd things about herself and Astian’s behavior. Things that she brushed off at the time, but came to see as major warnings in retrospect.

She looked around her room, making sure she still wasn’t dreaming and that she still was Natalie.

Her fear calmed down, but it soon turned to anger.

So much for sleep being an escape from having to think about her life.

Was this really her fate? To have more and more of her life revealed to her in her dreams? To have to slowly relive the pain and trauma of her transformation every time she slept? To have brief moments where she still thought she was Nathan, only to be bombarded with another life in less than a second while the old one disappeared? To have to constantly be taunted that all these twenty-four years of her life were nothing more than a stream of fake memories created by a magic spell? Was this what her life was going to turn into? A never ending cavalcade of fear, confusion, and anger?

No, it wasn’t. She was going to put an end to all this before it even began.