“Natalie: I’m still thinking about what Kate said to me yesterday. It’s been making me think about a lot, which is something I really needed.

I know what happened to us was bad, and in a perfect world, it wouldn’t have happened. If I had the opportunity to go back and erase all the trauma he caused, I would. But I can’t. Astian did what he did and now both of us have to live with it.

It’s still hard for me to accept that past life as my own, and it probably always will be. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to think about it without feeling some amount of disgust, and I know that’s wrong, but I can’t help it. It’s gonna be a long time before I can get over it.

To be honest though, I think I might be preferring this life. I like working with you to bring everyone back together and trying to achieve something of my own. Something that I know I did myself. It feels good. I still hate being a man, and I’m not going to deny that. But if it makes you happy, I’ll try my best to live with it.

I know I’ve been rambling a lot, and it’s not exactly been cohesive, but I think what I’m trying to say is that, I really should just look to the future. Stop being so hard on myself, as you said. Whatever may have happened in the past, I do exist now, and… I guess that’s all that really matters.”

Natalie stopped recording and set the phone on the empty bed, walking to the window and looking out to the morning sun. The night had been gracious enough to not give her any memories, and she was more than happy to take that reprieve.

She smiled as she saw the trees lightly sway in the light of the pink sky. Today was going to be a beautiful day.

***

“Aww, can’t you stay a little longer?” Kate whined.

“Yeah well I don’t want to be driving like an hour to work tomorrow.” Natalie answered.

“I still can’t believe you slept in a bed with no bed sheets!” Mrs. Parker exclaimed. “Why didn’t you tell us? We could’ve-”

“Given me some bed sheets for a bed I’d only sleep in for one night? Nah, I wouldn’t want to waste your time like that.”

“You should’ve slept on the couch.” Mr. Parker said.

“Yeah, I should’ve.” Natalie agreed.

Kate pulled Natalie in for a goodbye hug. Natalie was a bit startled at first, not used to being taller than her, but she was still quick to hug back.

“I have a cheerleading competition in two weeks. State championship. I’ll give you the location over text when I get the address. You’ll come, right?”

Natalie looked down at her sister’s pleading face, and smiled.

“Of course I will.” She said.

Kate wrapped her arms around Natalie tighter before breaking off. Mrs. Parker then walked over to Natalie and stood on her tiptoes to kiss her forehead.

“Mom, I think I’m a little old for forehead kisses.”

Mrs. Parker ruffled her hair. “You’re never too old for forehead kisses.”

Natalie’s face going a bit red, she saw Mr. Parker come over and give her a firm handshake. That was odd, he never gave those when she was Natalie, was this something fathers only did with their sons? She was lucky she had enough job interviews to do this well, or she would’ve seriously embarrassed herself.

“Have a nice trip.” He told her.

“I will.” Natalie said. “And I’ll be sure to come back to visit.”

Mr. Parker patted Natalie on the back, then leaned in close to her.

“Did you sort through what got you upset yesterday?” He whispered. “Is everything okay?”

After he asked that, Mrs. Parker came in with a worried look, clearly wondering the same thing.

Natalie gave them a smile. “Yeah, Kate helped me with it. I feel a lot better now.”

Mrs. Parker smiled back and Mr. Parker gave a reassuring nod. “I’m happy to hear that, son.”

Putting her phone in her pocket, Natalie nodded back at him, knowing it was something men did with each other. Like a lot of things in the past few weeks, it felt weird to be in on. It was almost like it was forbidden, which was admittedly pretty silly to think about.

It was things like that that made her aware everyone around her really thought she was Nathan. Her own family had no way of knowing that their son was sharing a consciousness with an alternate female version of himself. And that right now, they were talking to that version and not the Nathan they knew.

In the past that fact would’ve made her feel guilty, but she knew better than that now. There were some things in life you just couldn’t control, and for Nathan’s sake, as well as her own, she needed to stop beating herself up over it.

“I’ll see you all later.” Natalie said as she finally left for the door. Just as she opened it, she heard Kate walk over to her and grab a hold of her shoulder.

“You promise you’ll see us again, right?”

Natalie turned and stared into her sister’s eyes, taking in the optimistic, hopeful look on her face.

“I will, I promise.” Nathan said.

***

The drive back to the apartment was the most relaxed Nathan ever felt in a long time. He was actually in a good mood, so good that he even had the radio on. And it was playing “Wake Up Everybody”. You just couldn’t go wrong with Harold Melvin and the Blue Notes.

It sucked that he knew he was going to have to relive some awful memory tonight. That kind of spoiled his mood, especially since the potion in his refrigerator didn’t even have a quarter of it left. But, after a while, he found it in himself not to care. He was living in the moment, and he was loving it.

Maybe after the memories are over, he could come together with Natalie and finally make something out of this failure of a life.

“The world won't get no better, if we just let it be.

The world won't get no better. We gotta change it, yeah.

Just you and me.”