Securing the top button on her shirt, Natalie examined herself in the mirror, managing a smile at the sight of her face.

She was right, Nathan could look good, provided he looked after his appearance. With his hair brushed like this and his facial hair more neatly managed, he was quite handsome. He didn’t even look chubby with this shirt on.

Natalie’s smile soon dropped as her hands fell to her sides.

Her first day at the new job. She could only hope it was enough to pay for the apartment. Working retail was absolutely not ideal, and not remotely close to where she wanted to be, but she was going to have to suck it up and deal with it.

She went to the end table to grab her phone, her hand touching a sticky note on the way.

Oh right, she forgot about this.

She picked up the note and read it, tilting her head in curiosity.

So Nathan had gone to the same college as her. That was neat.

She took a pen and wrote “yes, it was the same” under Nathan’s writing, taking note of just how different their handwriting styles were. Nathan’s letters were much sharper and pointier, while hers were more round and bubbly.

Natalie raised the pen to her mouth and contemplated what to write to Nathan. There were so many things she’d like to know, she just couldn’t put her finger on what. She thought of asking how he met Astian, because for all she knew it could’ve been completely different to how she met him. In fact, it probably was, considering the first time her and Astian really talked to each other was when he “saved” her from a boy trying to prank her by cutting her hair in the fifth grade. From there they became… kind of like acquaintances for the rest of their school career before they began dating the summer after they graduated college. Then they moved here, where they lived happily ever after for a couple years before Astian got arrested.

There was no way any of that happened in Nathan’s reality, which by extension meant it didn’t happen at all. Just going through the story in her head was enough to make her cringe. Was Astian’s idea of “charming boyfriend” really making up a scenario about him as a 10 year old saving the 10 year old female version of his best friend from some immature, childish prank? It was seriously pathetic.

That wasn’t even getting into how she remembered her relationship with Astian starting in the first place, but the less said about that the better. Lord, with what she knew about him now, she hadn’t even considered that he’d made up…

Natalie noticed the sticky note she was holding had been ripped up in her anger.

Her face fell. “Oh god…” Her eyes stained with the formation of tears. She didn’t mean to rip it up.

“I’m sorry Nathan.” She choked out. “I’m sorry.”

***

Natalie still had hints of red in her eyes as she pulled into the Home Depot parking lot. Despite her efforts, the guilt and shame had remained alive in her mind for the entire car ride.

Nathan had really tried to reach out to her and she returned the favor by ripping that note up. She was a real piece of shit.

She looked at her face in the front view mirror for the last time, wiping her eyes as well as she could before exiting the car, ready to get her first day on this job over with as quickly as possible.

***

Here she finally was, all decked out in her new uniform, in the paint department. Already, on her first day, she was filling store shelves with paint.

This was something she couldn’t possibly fuck up.

It was nice that being a man entailed quite a bit of strength to make hauling the paint around easier, but it wasn’t so nice that Nathan wasn’t all that strong for a man, so some of the buckets still took a bit out of her.

On the plus side there was one other person with her. It was a woman who looked about the same age as Natalie, maybe two or three years younger. According to her name tag, she was Kira.

Kira seemed a little avoidant of her, and it looked like she was only going to talk to her if it was absolutely necessary. It took a while before Natalie finally realized what was going on.

She hadn’t noticed it before in her past two and a half weeks living as Nathan, but women had a subtle guarded attitude while around her. And she was only able to pick up on it because they were doing exactly what she used to do when she was in their position. Well, not really in their position because that was all fake but regardless.

She understood why they did it, and it wasn’t like she could blame them. With so many men like Astian in the world it was hard for a woman to not be diligent. Everyday situations always had the chance of becoming very dangerous. You needed to keep your eye out at all times.

Of course, in Natalie’s case, she remembered not having to do that for a few years, because Astian would always be there to protect her. No bad men would ever approach her with him by her side. So long as Astian was there, she was safe and secure.

The thought of that made her want to vomit.

She really needed to stop thinking about Astian, it wasn’t healthy.

Either way, despite the fact that employees were probably supposed to talk to each other and cooperate, Natalie didn’t have it in her to go up to her and strike up a conversation, even one about their job. Kira returned the favor. Her whole demeanor was a mix of that diligence along with boredom.

Natalie had never considered what it would be like to be on the other side of that dynamic. To be the one who women were extremely cautious around.

It felt… awful.

When Natalie’s shift was over and she left the building, she hadn’t spoken to Kira once.

***

The first thing Natalie did when she got back to the apartment was go to the bathroom. Apparently she couldn’t even do that in peace because the instant she sat down on the toilet a switch occurred.

Was this really the best time? Was he allowed to go just one day without having to deal with this?

While Nathan was sitting there, he figured he might as well take this opportunity to see how far these switches could go and what would be retained between them. As he really thought back on his time as Natalie, he realized he had the ability to recall all of what she had been thinking about, but not the full details of those thoughts. Any memories of her life that she hadn’t actively been going over in her mind he had no recollection of. And even for the ones she had, his knowledge of those events was limited.

As for more general, common experiences, he could recall most of them. He knew the experiences of things like menstruation, as well as sensations such as having breasts and making love as a…

He cringed, the fact that he kind of knew what it was like to have sex with Astian was what he had the hardest time accepting.

Everything Natalie did while in control, he could remember. He remembered her going to work at Home Depot for the first time, being with a woman named Kira, who she didn’t talk to, and he even remembered her writing that she did go to the same college as him on the sticky note.

He also remembered her accidentally tearing up the sticky note and feeling very guilty about it, which in turn made him feel guilty. He was not anyone worth feeling guilty over.

He even remembered the thing causing Natalie to become upset, how she started dating Astian in her timeline. But he didn’t remember what that event was.

What happened? He felt like he needed to know. Would Natalie be okay with telling him?

Wait, what was he thinking? He was Natalie! The only thing happening during these switches, as far as he knew, were his memories changing. Perhaps some personality traits as well, but he had no reason to believe it went further than that. Natalie and him were the same person.

So why was he still referring to her as if she was someone else?

Nathan grabbed his head, feeling the ache coming on. He couldn’t take this. He needed something to drink or else he’d go insane.

The second he left the bathroom he bolted to the refrigerator. His hand passed the half empty potion and grabbed the vodka bottle, which he took a large swig out of. He laid the bottle down with a harsh thud that shook the whole fridge. Slamming the door shut, he ran up to his room to find something to watch.

Only to remember that in this reality, there was no stream box in his bedroom.

He collapsed on his bed, face down in exhaustion. If he wasn’t such a screw up, if he actually had a handle on his life, he never would’ve gotten fired and never would’ve had to live in this apartment. He never would’ve roomed with Astian, and Astian never would’ve done the spell. Whatever Natalie had to experience when she first started dating Astian was all his fault.

“I’m sorry Natalie.” He said as he began to tear up. “I’m sorry.”

Soon he came to a point where he was so tired and deflated that he fell asleep. This time, when he looked to his side, the man at the window was even more transparent.

Nathan wondered if he’d ever get to a point where he wouldn’t be able to see him.

The thought of that scared him.

***

“Astian, I’m being serious. Is there something wrong with me?”

Astian almost rolled his eyes at the question. “Nathan, you worry way too much. I don’t see anything wrong with you.”

“You don’t?” Nathan asked. “You don’t think I’ve been acting weird, wearing weird stuff, looking weird?”

“No, you’re fine.” Astian answered.

“Are you sure? I swear I’m getting shorter.”

“It’s in your imagination. Aren’t you dieting anyway?”

“What?”

“I mean, I haven’t seen you drink in a while, so I assumed you were dieting too.”

Nathan thought back to the past two weeks living here, specifically to the food he was eating. He couldn’t really call it healthy, but he did seem to be eating less. And if he was getting skinnier, it only made sense that he’d get a bit shorter as well, right?

“I kind of am, but-”

“You’re just not used to changing your diet, that’s all.” Astian told him. “I don’t think you’re acting any differently than you used to. You’re just going through a hard time, it’ll mess with your head.”

Nathan scoffed. “You think?”

“I don’t think, I know.” Astian replied. “I take it the job search isn’t going well?”

“What do you think?” Nathan said, irked. “No one’s called me back yet. All the applications I’ve been sending are for nothing. It’s been over two weeks. It’s ridiculous.”

“Well, just keep trying.” Astian said. “You’ll get there eventually.”

“Yeah, it’s real easy to say that, isn’t it?” Nathan said a bit derisively. “There’s nothing at stake in it for you.”

“I’m just trying to help you. You could try to be a little understanding.”

Nathan sighed. “I know, I’m just so stressed.”

“Take it easy.” Astian said. “Relax, and things will get better, I promise.”

Nathan left the room after that, feeling underwhelmed. He had hoped Astian would give him something substantial, but instead he gave the exact same answers that were becoming all too common as of late.

“You’re fine.”

Was he right? Nathan hoped so, but he also knew better than that. He had basically gone on a date with Astian a few days ago, even wore a fucking skirt to it. Things were not “fine”.

Nathan locked himself in his room and stared at himself in the mirror. It seemed like every day he noticed something different.

This time, it was at least three things.

First, he saw that his hair now touched the bottom of his neck, and second, he saw that his face looked… different. He had a hard time describing it, there was just something off about it upon close inspection. Maybe he looked younger? Was that what it was? He had no idea. For all he knew it could’ve been changing for a while, this was just the first time he noticed it.

The third thing was that his nipples hadn’t stopped being sore. If anything, they’d only gotten more sore, and when he lifted up his shirt to check them, he could see that they were swelling. There was also a bit of puff to them that wasn’t there before.

Did he have breast cancer? Could men get breast cancer? What else could that possibly mean?

With all this in mind, the idea that he was getting shorter became much more plausible.

The worst part was that he still hadn’t heard back from the doctors. He had no idea what his blood results were.

This was just going to keep happening. He didn’t want to believe that, but what else could he possibly believe with shit like this every single day?

It was just going to keep happening. Every morning he would wake up to be met with some change having been made to him. Whether it be his body, his tastes, or most terrifying of all his behavior, it was going to continue.

Astian would never react to anything happening, and doctors wouldn’t react either. Nathan would have no way to combat the changes, they’d just keep piling on and escalating.

It’s just going to keep happening.

The room turned dark and Nathan felt his body slowly fall down.

It’s just going to keep happening.

Nathan’s back hit the soft mattress below him.

It’s just going to keep happening.

Natalie’s eyes were open wide in the dark night, her body laying down and not moving an inch for what felt like hours.

It’s just going to keep happening.

Slowly, she turned to her side, seeing the computer in the room, as well as the headphone and microphone set. She rose from the bed and sat down at her desk, logging into the computer and clicking an app to record her voice.

It’s just going to keep happening. And since it will, there’s no point in putting anything off.

Nathan had to know it wasn’t his fault.