Astian barged into Nathan’s room, mindlessly tossing a giant box onto his bed.

“Well, here’s the last of her clothes.” He said. “She still has a few other things she needs to bring in so don’t be surprised if some stuff appears in your room in the morning. Wouldn’t want to bother you while you’re awake, you know.”

Nathan laid still on his bed, staring up at the ceiling, not having it in him to respond.

“Nathan?” Astian asked. “You there?”

Again, he didn’t respond.

Astian walked right in front of Nathan, leaning down, looking straight into his face. Nathan’s eyes didn’t even flinch. Visibly worried, Astian poked his cheek, and finally he focused on him.

“I almost thought you were dead.” He said.

“Astian.” Nathan said. “I really think something’s wrong with me.”

“Haven’t we already been over this?” Astian asked. “I’ve already said it, you’re fine.”

“I don’t know man, something’s very wrong here. I… I really think-”

Astian took a seat on the bed, and, for a second, Nathan could see his eyes dart down, but he refocused them quickly.

“Hey, why don’t you sit up.” Astian said to him.

Nathan obliged, having grown sick of laying there himself.

“It’s just so hard sometimes.” Nathan said. “Can’t get a job, not doing anything all day, and now there’s all this weird stuff happening and I-”

“Look, I know it’s sucked for you, but it’ll get better. Trust me.”

“You always say that. Unless you have a job offer for me I don’t want to hear it.”

“Well, I can’t get you hired at my place. I might be able to get you something somewhere else though. Something good.”

“Yeah, I heard there’s a real demand for college dropouts on the market.” Nathan shot back, bitter. “I couldn't even make up some bullshit explanation for all the gaps in my resume”

Astian sighed. “You’re really not making this easy, you know that?”

“That’s my life, it’s not easy.” Nathan explained. “Well, it is easy, technically speaking, it’s fixing it that’s hard.”

Astian snorted, and… did he say something under his breath? His mouth moved but Nathan couldn’t make out any words.

“Why don’t you get some rest, love? You need to sleep more.”

Astian patted Nathan on the back and left the room. Nathan groaned, pushing the box of clothes off his bed and throwing himself against his mattress. His eyes drooped down and closed shut.

If there was one thing Astian was right about, it’s that he did need more sleep. He was so tired these days and…

Wait, did Astian just call him “love”?

Nathan’s eyes shot open, his weariness leaving in an instant. He was so tired that he hadn’t noticed. But looking at it now… yeah, Astian one hundred percent called him “love”, and unlike that night at the restaurant, he was absolutely sure of it.

Hell, that wasn’t all. Nathan thought back to when Astian’s eyes darted down for little more than a second. From where Nathan was laying, Astian would’ve been looking at his chest. At his swollen nipples that were protruding out enough to be seen under his shirt.

…Shit.

At least he could confirm he wasn’t the only one noticing his changes, which was somewhat of a relief. Astian was noticing them, too. He wasn’t oblivious after all. So… why wasn’t he saying anything? He literally saw his best friend with what were essentially or, fuck it, what WERE breast buds, and he just ignored it? Who does that? Astian had it in him to tell him he looked like a slob but THIS wasn’t worth a mention? What on Earth was going on inside that man’s head?

Was it possible that whatever was changing him was also changing Astian? That seemed like a pretty reasonable assumption. This force, this… thing that was transforming him into a woman could also very easily change Astian’s mind to make him think this was the way he always was. Or maybe Astian’s mind was being changed to think a man spontaneously turning into a woman for no reason was just a thing that happened sometimes. Either way, the result was the same. To him, nothing was out of the ordinary.

Of course, there was always the possibility that Astian was the one causing this, but that seemed a little too absurd. Why would Astian want to turn his best friend into a completely different person? Even for a selfish person, it didn’t make any sense.

He hoped it didn’t make any sense.

Nathan found himself curling into a fetal position. He didn’t know which idea was scarier, some omniscient force turning him into a woman for no reason, or his best friend that he’s known for more than a decade turning him into a woman, purposely inflicting so much psychological damage and not caring in the slightest.

Okay, that was a little unfair. He shouldn’t assume the worst of his friend. Astian was a good man, in fact, he should head up to his room and check on him right now. He’s been spending an awful lot of time alone in there, just what was he doing?

Nathan got out of bed and began walking to Astian’s room. Being in an apartment, it was pretty close by. He assumed Astian was in there. If he wasn’t, it’s not like he’d have to go very far to find him.

As he walked, Nathan cringed at the sway in his hips. This was another change he noticed recently. Just like how he was peeing like a woman, he was now walking like one too. He couldn’t help it, it’s what felt right to him. He had to actively make himself walk like a man. If he wasn’t thinking about it, then he wasn’t walking like it.

This might’ve been due to the changes in his hips, which had widened in the past few days. Hell, take away the penis and he literally just looked like a woman below his waist. His butt was bigger, his thighs were thicker, and he even had that hip rotation women had. And that wasn’t all, no. He didn’t just look like a woman below the waist, he looked like a very SEXY woman below the waist. He was actually a bit mesmerized, looking down at his legs. On another woman they’d be incredible, on his own body they were freaky as hell.

“Another woman”. Dear Christ, what was happening to him? He needed to keep better track of his thoughts.

Nathan approached Astian’s door. It was closed, but he couldn’t tell if it was locked. He didn’t want to check either, he didn’t want to see what Astian was doing alone in there. And plus, he’d never want to upset him.

…That was a normal thought, right? Not wanting to upset his friend?

Hold on, what was that? Nathan leaned in closer to the door. He could hear Astian talking, but the door muffled what he was saying. From what he could make out, it sounded like Astian was on the phone with someone.

“...Taking longer than I thought…no, I’m doing it well, it’s just…yes, I did push a little much at the start…few more days, that’s all I’m asking…book will be returned as soon…lay off my back a little, will…you know this is a very inconvenient time to have…alright, thanks…yeah, you too.”

The talking stopped, and Nathan shook his head. What a weird call. It sounded a little heated, something about a book making Astian mad?

Nathan knocked on the door, hearing Astian say “come in”.

Opening the door, he saw Astian at his desk, quickly turning on his swivel chair as he walked in.

“Hey.” Nathan said. “I heard you on the phone earlier.”

“Oh… you did?”

“Yeah, what was that about?”

It took Astian a few seconds to respond. “That was just the librarian. He’s really giving me hell over this overdue book.”

“Well, I’m sorry.” Nathan replied. “But also I should say you’d probably be less annoyed if you actually focused on finishing it, so you could turn it back in.”

“Heh, yeah…” Astian said back. “Anyway, what did you come in here for?”

“I just wanted to check on you.”

Astian smiled. “Well, thanks. I’m doing fine, if you’re wondering. Better, now that you’re here. I really like seeing you.”

Nathan giggled. “Stop it, you’re making me blush.” He said.

Astian’s smile grew wider at this. “You have a nice blush, but it’s okay, your face looks great without it. Now, if you excuse me, I’d like to make some dinner.”

Nathan ended up blushing at Astian’s comment, but nothing could’ve prepared him for what he’d do next.

Astian stood up, and passed right by Nathan, stopping a little right beside him as he turned his head and smiled. It was nice seeing Astian so close… but it also confirmed that Nathan really had gotten shorter. Much shorter, actually. Astian and him used to be the same height and now he was a good few inches shorter, the top of his head being around the same place as his mouth. It was… disheartening, to say the least, but it wasn’t what shocked him the most

No, what shocked him the most is that, as Astian began walking out of the room, he took his shirt off. Casually throwing it on the bed like it was a completely normal thing to do.

Nathan gasped, clasping his hands on his face.

Astian turned back to him and said, “it’s been getting a little hot lately, I hope you don’t mind” very casually, as if he’d simply changed his shirt and not taken it off. No big deal here. And maybe he was right, it might not have been a big deal.

So why did it seem that way? Why could Nathan not get the image of Astian’s body out of his mind?

Even when Astian finally left the room, Nathan was still thinking about his shirtless body, and he had to fight the urge to go into the kitchen to look at him. He’d never noticed before, but Astian was actually a pretty good looking man. He wasn’t really buff, but he had a decent bit of muscle on his upper arms, and he was just the right size. He didn’t have too much fat either. Sure, he didn’t have a six-pack, but when you were looking at him, it was easy to forget that. He was much better looking than the slightly overweight alcoholic slob Nathan used to be, anyway.

Did women like Astian? Nathan wouldn’t be surprised if they did. For a woman it’d probably feel really good to get lost in his strong arms as he wrapped them around your stomach, his hot breath on the back of your neck. You’d tell him about your day, tell him what was bothering you, what was wrong, and he’d give you all the comfort and kisses in the world. Maybe you’d even lay in bed with him and… oh! Nathan actually had to bite his lip to stop himself from calling out to Astian, just so he could see him again and maybe…

Nathan felt a stirring in his groin and instantly looked down. When he did, he saw that he was getting an erection. His penis had apparently become excited at his fantasies.

Finally, Nathan snapped back to his senses. Wide-eyed and slack-jawed, he slowly came to sit on Astian’s bed.

And just after he said he’d keep better track of his thoughts.

Lord, what was wrong with him? He had NOT just been thinking about making love with his best friend! He was NOT attracted to his best friend! He wasn’t about to validate all of Kate’s shitty jokes from years ago. No, no, no! He was not, WAS NOT attracted to Astian.

Nathan thought of someone, or something else to turn him on. A woman on a beach, taking off her bikini in the hot sun, showing off her chest as Astian wrapped his arms around her and gave her a kiss. Okay no, that didn’t work, let’s try again. A hot female singer performing in a concert, in some nice, sexy outfit. At the end of the show, she’d be embraced by one of the male band members, Astian, who’d- fuck! Alright, third attempt. Top female athlete, ready to compete for the grand prize and being cheered on by the top male athlete, Ast-

Tears began forming in Nathan’s eyes. He tried to force them back but to no avail.

Every single fantasy ended the exact same way. At first, there was just a woman, one Nathan would usually find attractive. Then suddenly, Astian would show up and he’d be the center of attraction. Not just that, but the woman would no longer be someone else to imagine, but HIM. In every one of those scenarios, when Astian came in, Nathan would suddenly start seeing this woman as himself.

And he liked it. He liked it so much. But he didn’t WANT to.

The first tear hit Astian’s bed sheets. Why was Nathan suddenly attracted to him? Why was Astian trying to be endearing with him? Fuck, why did he even take his shirt off? Nathan didn’t buy the “it’s hot” explanation, what was the real reason? Most of the time, when it was just guys living together, taking your shirt off wasn’t a big deal, so long as no one was attracted to you. But Astian seemed to make a scene of it, even if he tried and failed to play it off casually. It was almost as if he… wanted Nathan to see him without his shirt on. He even turned around so… what, Nathan could see the front of his bare body? Was that it? Why would…

“Oh, shit!” Nathan thought.

That’s when it hit him. All the compliments, all the pet names, all the times he caught himself staring at him in the past weeks, it all added up.

He wasn’t just turning into a woman, he was turning into Astian’s girlfriend!

And Astian was treating him like his girlfriend, more and more the longer he stayed. Nathan, in turn, was beginning to ACT like his girlfriend. Did that confirm magic was real? The mere idea sounded completely ludicrous, but so was what was happening right now. Did this mean that one day they were going to sleep together? That they were going to… do it?

No, his mind was NOT about to go there. Not again.

Nathan slowly collapsed onto Astian’s bed, and with a sniff, he started crying. He hadn’t cried so much since before he was a teenager. It was an utterly pathetic reaction, but he couldn’t think of anything better to do. How were you supposed to resist a thing like this? If the world decides to make your life a living hell, and turn you into your best friend’s girlfriend for no reason, what could you do? Well, you could kill yourself, but Nathan knew he didn’t have the guts to do that, not after what happened last time.

The worst part of all this, was that as he was crying, Nathan wanted Astian to come back into the room, see him crying, and comfort him. Ask what was wrong and say everything’s okay because he’ll protect him and love him. At this point it was like his brain was taunting him, ensuring he wanted something he didn’t, all to torture him.

Nathan hit the sides of his head, trying to banish any attraction to Astian. “Stop it.” He said. “Please stop it.”

And he did that for the entire next hour, not bothering to go out and eat dinner. He managed to stop crying when Astian entered the room, to which he went back to his bedroom, and cried, for the rest of the day until nightfall.

Astian never went to check on him.

***

Natalie couldn’t remember when she woke up. Six, seven, eight o’clock, they all might as well have been the same.

At least the bathroom mirror was here to comfort her by confirming the same thing it had so many mornings before, that she looked like shit. Work was in half an hour, and she still looked like she hadn’t showered in weeks, a real accomplishment.

Getting back to her regularly scheduled memories was more miserable than she thought. That particular memory was real bad. It sure made her feel good to see Nathan literally hit his own head to stop himself from loving her fiancé. She was just like those neutered robot women in “The Stepford Wives”, and she was getting first seat to witness the horrifying transformation from a normal person, into her.

Now now, that was no way to talk about herself. Nathan surely wouldn’t want her to put herself down like that, but he also walked around the apartment with his hand in his pants for no reason so was he a trustworthy source?

Okay, maybe she was just having a shitty morning. She needed to cheer up, she had plenty of things to look forward to today. Like… work?

…She’d see Kira again, that was exciting. She really liked seeing her.

What else could she say… it was her first day of actually trying to be Nathan. Well, not exactly, but the start of a new attempt. She was going to be Nathan Parker today and every day after, a man who loved being a man. What’s not to love about being a man? This was the body she belonged in, the body she was supposed to be in, the body she was supposed to LOVE.

The body she’d be buried in.

Natalie gagged, feeling nauseous. She had to lift the toilet seat and lay her face down into the bowl. She began dry heaving, waiting for the vomit to come out at some point, but none did.

She collapsed onto the bathroom floor, and began crying just as she did in the memory she’d relived.

She was trying, she was REALLY trying. Why was it so hard to accept? She was missing everything right now. She missed having a vagina, this penis had never stopped leaving her repulsed. She missed having soft skin, she never realized how much she felt at home in it until it was taken away, leaving this rough, horrid leathery skin in its place. She missed having a fucking purse. How far had she sunk to miss having a purse?

Not having periods again was… just not fucking worth this.

The only thing she wanted to say at that moment was “I’m sorry”, but her mouth couldn’t form the words. She hoped Nathan could see that she was sorry.

She couldn’t keep being something she wasn’t anymore.