-9-
So This Is A Dungeon?

Hello again my imaginary audience, when you last left me I was walking to the Peppercorn Mountains because I'd heard stories about a king's ransom of gold and jewels. Right now I'm somewhere under those mountains. About a day's passed since I've last encountered you guys, I'd finally reached the Peppercorn Mountains after four or five hours of hard marching. I then took a rest and somehow I managed to find this cave.

Now let me tell you about this cave, okay somebody or something lives here. Despite the fact the walls are covered in mold, meadow and niter.. despite the fact that the place reeks of high evens and I stumble every few paces over a discarded meal or cooking pot. Trust me, you don't want to know about these meals? Oh you do? Okay please let me enlighten you, but don't say I did not warn you now. Every so often I'll encounter these old iron kettles that sit upon burned out cooking fires, inside you will find bones, human bones, the skin has been boiled and cleaned off of them and you can see cut marks. Like somebody or something was butchering the poor bastards after they did them off.

Normally I'll knock them over and push the bones to the side, cause you know.. they're dead. But really, talk about creepy, now add in the fact that the floor is covered in bat dropping, and I mean covered in it, some parts are pure white.. and it smells to high heavens. The bat's don't prove much of a problem as they tend to either swoop past me or swoop around me and I can normally take them out with one good swing of my sword.

Anyway right now I'm in a tunnel, the tunnel goes on and on, I'm not sure how far I've gone.. There is no way to keep time here, and I'm far past the entrance, so I don't even know if the sun's set yet. I only knew she sun had risen a few hours before I found this cave. I'm tempted to go back, but I've come this far. Wait.. something ahead of me. Just around the corner. You see it now don't you, that tall greenish thing, the thing that stands as tall as a man and is dressed in a copper helmet, a copper breastplate and is armed with that old rusty sword. I guess we've just encountered our first true monster?

Its safe to say escape's pretty much impossible, I mean I was trapped underground, with the only source of light being my lantern and once the beast caught sight of me, there was little for me to do than draw my sword and get ready for my first fight. The fight lasted all but thirty seconds; it was really over before it began.

The goblin came charging at me, once it came within striking distance it raised up its sword. I reflected its blow with a sword and then somehow managed to smack it in the face with the hilt of my sword. I must have knocked out a few teeth because greenish blood came spurting out of its mouth and sharp white teeth fell down on the floor. The beast was stunned, putting my humanity to the side, I stepped back and drove my blade into its exposed mouth, a second later the blade came jutting out of the back. And the beast crumbled lifelessly on the ground.

I removed my blade and sighed. It was covered in green blood.. and I recalled in horror, I'd just killed something.. I mean it was life or death and I've killed plenty of things before. But this, this was different, a moment later I felt myself starting to vomit.

The smell of the blood, the foulness of the creature, the stench of the bat dropping all caused my head to swirl around. The cave started to spin around and everything became a blur. My breathing became tense and yet, I had no choice but to push on.
And yes, I looted the body, I mean I had to.. I left the armor and helmet in place. Instead I collected a small leather bag that was tied hidden on the slain creature. I opened the bag and found a collection of coins, small value coins, coins that were as old as the hills. One crown and a handful of marks, that's how much I netted from killing this beast.. I shivered. As unpleasant thoughts started to creep into my head. Thoughts that went like this.

'How many people had this goblin slain and eaten?' or 'How many merchants had this foul creature descended upon from some hiding place?' or 'How many wayward travelers had it ambushed under a full moon so it could slay them and feast upon them and roast their flesh?' Yes, those were the thoughts that ran through my head as I peered at the creature whose life I'd just taken.

I seethed my sword and nodded my head. I then pushed on into the darkness that surrounded me.

After traveling a few more feet, maybe a few hundred I encountered another goblin. This time I'd managed to ambush the creature, hiding in the shadows and jumping out as he passed me. Oh he put up a struggle, but I somehow managed to slit his throat with a dagger I had. Green blood spurted out and the beast released a hellish cry before dropping down on the ground. I stepped back and breathed hard as I watched the thing struggle, its long fingernails clawing at the ground. But finally the best seemed to die. And I was glad it did.

My second kill netted me a stunning seventeen golden crowns. Far more than I expected, I also found a few golden rings.. I'm not sure why this goblin had more money on him than the other one did. Maybe this one was the second in command? Or maybe this one just had more money? I was not about to stand around and find out. So gathering up my courage I charged ahead, deeper into the darkness.

As I moved deeper into the cave, I picked up little odds in and ended. I even found some food stuff, stuff that seemed fit to eat. Stuff like cheese, that was still wrapped in its cloth, dried beef, and bread that was mold. Many would question the wisdom of eating random bits and pieces of food one finds laying around in a cave, and normally I would too. But you gotta remember this is not earth. Somehow, by some magic I'm not aware of, food seems to remain fresh for a longer period of time than it normally wood.

Finally though after what seemed like hours I reached what I thought would be the end of the give. Because before me stood a door. A stone door with runes carved into it. Standing in front of the door were two goblins. Who unlike the fellows before seemed to be made of some tough stuff. Or tougher stuff that the two fellows I managed to kill. These things looked almost human, they stood a good head taller than me, and were wearing what appeared to be silver breastplates over chain mail. They also wore gloves, rough looking leather gloves. In one hand they held a round wooden shield and in the other long pole that was almost as tall as they were, the pole was topped with a fearsome looking piece of iron that had been sharpened and polished till it gleamed.

I felt my heart starting to race.. These guys must be the guards, they must be the elite of the elite, the personal bodyguard of the king. It became very clear to me then, if I wanted to reach the king, I'll have to get past those two. But how?

I took a deep breath and stepped back. Drew my slingshot, fished out the biggest iron ingot I carried, drew the sling shot back to my cheekbone and then I released it. The iron ingot made a horrible sound and it came crashing into the first guy's head. It smashed the helmet and became buried inside the skull of the poor creature.
I nearly lost my lunch again as the creature beside the first one jumped and in the dim light I noticed bits of brains and fluid. The smell once more took my breath away. The other creature was now looking around, yelling something, okay shouting is more like it. I quickly grew tired of the noise and shot another iron ingot at the creature. This one hit the creature square in the face, in the left eye. I believe I put its eye out or something because it started to stumble around the front of the door, barking and grunting, holding its injured eye with a green sinew hand. A river of green blood flowed down from the eye, down its chin and onto his breastplate.

I then jumped from the shadows, and charged, and with one quick thrust, I'd somehow managed to drive the tip of my sword into the creature's other remaining eye. I kept thrusting and much to my horror my sword came out the other side. Yes it was an ambush, yes there had been no honor.. but honor seldom carries the day.. and sometimes a well timed ambush can mean the difference in either victory or defeat.

The creature was dead in a matter of minutes.. and once more I looted the bodies. These guys had around twenty golden Crowns on them each. Not bad.. considering it was covered in goblin blood and reeked to high heavens. Once I'd pocketed the gold, the stone door slid open and I nearly jumped out of my skins. The door seemed to lead to a different room, I took a deep breath, took a swig of water, and breathing a silent prayer I marched into that room. Something told me that once I crossed that threshold, I would soon come face to face with the Goblin King himself.

-10-
The Goblin King of the Peppercorn Mountains.

I found myself standing in the middle of what appeared to be a massive underground throne room. One that must have been carved into the mountains eons ago. Gone were the rough walls of the cavern. Some stonemason in eons past had smoothed and polished the walls of this room. As I ran my hand along the wall, I was amazed at how smooth it felt. It was like running my hand over glass. Glass that was free of any bubbles. Then in the middle, I caught sight of something that was truly amazing.

A marble fountain sat in the middle of the room. The fountain was filled with crystal clear water that came pouring out of a stone vase that was set in the center. The sound of running water echoed off the walls. Also hanging from the walls were shields, emblazoned upon these shields were coats of arms, to whom they belonged too I had no idea. But part of what was expected were trophies, trophies kept by the fearsome Goblin King, tokens to remind him of his greatness and the prowess of his skill with the blade.

It was at this moment my courage failed me. I turned toward the doorway only to find the stone door had fallen down. Sealing me inside. Panic started to overtake me, but soon panic turned to dread as from the darkness came the sound of heavy breathing. Then as if by some magic, a dozen torches appeared along the walls. Their red and orange flickering flames seemed to cast ghastly shadows.

Then I heard something from the far side of the room and a voice came. They filled the chamber and for a moment it seemed my eardrums would burst open. The voice was more of a scream, a howl, one that made the warm blood of my body turn to icy water. I quickly spun around and looming over me was the beast I've come to slay. The Goblin King.

There are no words powerful enough in the English Language to accurately describe the horror that overcame me the minute my eyes looked upon him. The Goblin King was a brute, he stood a good head taller than the other ones, his arms were as big as barrels, his chest as big and as round as ox.
His head was the size of a stone jug. He was seethed in plated metal and one hand he held a huge shield that was as tall as I and as wide as I. And in the other a sword that was likewise as tall as I and as wide as I. He loomed over me, I felt like a tiny ant when I stood in his shadows. Standing there, facing him down, I was briefly reminded of the old biblical tale of David and Goliath.

And so as I stood there, remembering that old fable, I felt a small smile starting to form upon my lips. I remembered how small David was. The small shepherded from Jude, defeated the giant from Gath. I did not have long to think for soon his blade came crashing down and it smacked the earth in front of me, I barely had time enough to roll out its way. My heart was now racing, as crawled along the earthen floor, searching for something, anything, I rolled over on my back and to my horror there, looming over was the Goblin king, his eyes blazing like hell fire, his sword raised in the air, and once more I rolled over just in the nick of time as his blade stabbed the earth.

I threw myself up, forced myself to stand, and forced myself to remain calm as I reached into my pack and pulled out my slingshot. I then reached into the leather pouch that held my iron ingots and dug out the heaviest one I could find. The Beast was still trying to get his sword out of the ground.. I took a deep breath, pulled back and let the iron ingot fly.

By luck it smacked him upside the head. But it only dazed him.. Taking a chance I rushed in, drew my sword and made a stab for his neck. My blade found purchase in his green skin, but it was only a cut, greenish blood poured out of the cut and onto the ground and the beast once more reared his head. With renewed strength it pulled its blade free of the earth and started to swing it around.

I rolled once more, barely missing the blade as it sailed past me. The Beast seemed drunk, drunk on pain. Once more I retreated into a corner of the room, and once more I reached into my pouch and pulled out another iron ingot. My hands were trembling.. but yet I still managed to hit the beast again this time I hit him above the eye, the metal point of the ingot must have pieced his eyes, because a hellish scream escaped his lips as he dropped down to the ground, green pus running down his chin and dripping down onto the floor. I wasted no time, I rushed in and made a quick stab for the other eye while the beast was stunned and in pain.

The tip of my blade went right into the eye of the Beast. And the beast screamed an unholy scream that caused me to shutter. I removed my blade and dropped back. My mind was shattered at the sight that greeted me, his eyes were black holes, two black holes that spewed greenish puss. But I had blinded the beast, I knew then what I had to do.

I had to end it.. but how, how could I.. something happen, the Beast tripped and landed right in front of me. Swallowing hard, I rushed up and dragged my blade across its throat. The throat was slit open and at last its breathing stopped. I paused, then dropped to the ground. It was over.. I'd cleared my first dungeon.. I passed my first. I'd slain the Goblin King. Now it was time to collect my reward.

-11-
Treasure of the Goblin King

Breathing hard I picked my way past the remains of the Goblin King. As I passed him, I made sure he was dead by removing his helmet from his head and driving my blade straight down into his skull. I then titled the hilt of my sword around a little to stir his brains. As horrible as that sounded, I did not want to take the chance that the bastard was still alive and just down for a little nap. Once I was sure he was dead, I removed my sword, cleaned the blade of goblin brains and seethed it back into its holder.
I then started to pick my way across the room. At the far side of the room, I found a large throne. The throne it seemed had been carved out of one solid piece of stone. Beside the throne was the entrance to another room. Rolling my shoulders I boldly stepped into the room. It was then at last I'd found what I'd been searching for. The treasury of the Goblin King.

Now 'Treasury' is too grand of a word. It was more like a storeroom, a fairly large storeroom, but a storeroom nonetheless. I'd hoped to discover a room that was filled to the ceiling with treasures. You know, massive piles of gold, silver, and copper coins, mountains of jewels. Jewel encrusted swords and shields, the wealth of a thousand nations and all that good jazz. Instead what I found were four small treasure chests. The first one was filled with Golden Crowns, I counted around four hundred or so.. the second one was filled with Silver Marks, around another twenty Crowns give or take, and the third and final one was filled with unpolished gemstones, maybe at best five hundred Crowns worth of Jewels. All in all it was a pretty good haul, well over a thousand Crowns... enough to buy a small fishing boat or a small plot of land in the countryside.. About what a prosperous farmer makes in a season or a well connected merchant makes in a month or so.

In short it was decent. But was it worth risking life and limb for? Was it worth damn near ruining my sanity? Would it be worth the nightmares that I'm sure would follow? Hardly.. Sighing I looked around, how was I going to carry off this stuff back to Sea Breeze? I wanted to slap myself upside the head, maybe I should have thought about that before starting on this adventure in the first place. But then in the corner I noticed something.

Peering out at me through the darkness were two brown eyes. I quickly drew my sword, as I drew my sword I heard a snort. Then from the shadows stepped out an outline of a horse.. a brown chestnut pony that was pulling a cart. The pony looked tired and weak, and kind of sad like it had expected me to deal the finishing blow to it as it eyed the sword in my hands. I quickly seethed my sword and walked up to the pony. Before I could catch myself I started to run my hands over her next.

A moment later the pony stomped its hove on the ground and snorted again as it peered at me. I nodded my head. I then somehow understood her question.

“I'm not going to hurt you.” I said in a soothing voice as I stroked her neck. She responded to my voice by coming a little closer to me. “I'm here to save you.” I said again as I peered around the room. Once you put two and two together, you could see the fate of this pony was written on the walls around me, I'm not sure what goblin's used ponies for, but I expected it was to eat.. and clearly I'd saved this sweet little thing from being the Goblin King's dinner. Why she was still hooked up to the wagon I had no idea. But since she was hooked up to the wagon I decided to gently place the three wooden treasure chests in the wagon along with anything else I could find.

Other treasures included a sack of flour, a sack of feed, a bundle of dried herbs, a barrel of salted meat, a sack of grain, a keg of ale, and finally tucked into the corner was a coat of chain mail that was light as a feather, and yet oddly enough the tiny interconnecting links were made of silver instead of iron. I shrugged my shoulders and tossed it into the wagon too. Then out of the corner of my eye I spotted something. Hanging upon the wall was a pendant, a large reddish jewel the size of an acorn hung from a fine golden chain. Without thinking I reached down and took down the pendant.. and slipped it around my neck. It seemed to just fit.

“Hey Coco?” I turned toward the pony. “Are you thirsty?” The pony nodded her head. I don't know why I decided to call her 'Coco' but the name just seemed to fit her.
Coco nodded her head and I smiled a little as I unhooked her. I then led her back into the Throne room and up to the fountain that was bubbling clean, crystal clear water. Coco snorted again and then started to drink from the fountain. I decided to follow her lead, and filled my canteens up. The water was cool and refreshing and seemed to restore my strength. It seemed to restore Coco too as hers grew more alert and hair seemed to shine a little. And I guess after the adventure we'd both had, we deserved a little rest.

-12-
Wrapping Up

I guess I should tell you guys what happens next. To be honest nothing much. Coco and I took our time getting back home from the Peppercorn Mountains. Katie was overjoyed to see me, in fact she rushed out and threw her arms around me the moment I appeared back at the inn. It seemed I'd been away for a good four days and they were getting worried about me. After Katie got through hugging me it was Marian's turn to fuss over me, the first thing she did was order me to undress myself and get a bath.

Oh it was quite a sight, her fussing over me, acting more like a mother than anything, she in fact ordered me to get out of my gear and get a bath! I can still hear her saying.

“Jeanette Katherine Hood! You get out of those clothes and get to the bathhouse right this instant young lady!” She bellowed at the top of her lungs. Her big hands planted firmly on her hips and a scowl a mile long plastered across her face. “I have half a mind to turn you over my knee too for that little stunt you pulled!” She scolded as she followed behind me. “Running off to the Peppercorn Mountains! All because some drunken old knight filled your head with tales of treasure! Should have never been cut from your mothers apron strings!” She added as she swatted my bottom to get me moving.

Oh she fussed and she fussed. But she made sure I got a good, long bath, and she made sure I washed behind my ears as well and that I washed my hair. She even went as far as to tell Katie to lay out a fresh nightgown for me to wear! My cheekiness got the best of me and then with impudence charm I responded to her demands with a simple.

“Yes mum!” I swear Marian blushed at that and then she narrowed her eyes at me, and for a moment I thought the woman was going to slap me. Instead she raised her finger and brought it to my face and in a stern tone of voice said.

“Jeanette Katherine Hood!” She scolded. “Somebody has to be your mother and keep you out of trouble. And if the Goddess has seen it fit, that that poor soul must be me, then by damn I'm going to do my best. Now I can't stop you from running all over the hills and creation. Because it seems you're going on an adventure.” She said as she wagged her finger in my face.

“But I swear to the Goddess, next time you do something like that, I'm going to pull you across my knee and blister your bottom. Do you understand me young lady? And yes, I expect from now on you to call me 'Mum' or 'Mother'. Since it seems I'm taking on that role.” She then paused.

“In fact.. After your bath I want you to go and wait for me in your room. I'll be alone shortly.” She added. And with that she marched away. Muttering mom indeed. Oh and Coco, everybody fell in love Coco, Marian and Katie both doted on her and Jim our cook made sure that Coco was given the best stall in the stable that was located behind the inn. Anyway I guess I better get that bath. Mum was not too pleased with me. Join me next time would you? Our adventures are just getting started.