Another Flower
by Melanie Brown
Copyright  © 2019 Melanie Brown

Sean has to get ready for his date

Please read The Flower first -- Ed

 

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I stretched under the covers as I peeked at the sunshine streaming through the blinds on my bedroom window. It was Saturday morning and my plans for the day so far was just remain in bed.

As I lay there in a dreamy state, my mind wandered to the memory of the night before when Brad kissed me on the front porch. I squirmed at the pleasant memory. My first kiss with a boy! First kiss? Self doubts started creeping into my warm fuzzy feelings. Shouldn’t that be the only kiss? But his lips felt so good…

Mom knocked on my door, and then peeked inside without waiting for me to respond. “Are you going to sleep all day? It’s almost ten.”

Pulling the covers over my head and wriggling into my pillow, I said, “That’s the plan.”

Mom came into my room and pulled the covers from my head. “Well, you need to get up and get dressed. I was hoping to get an early start at the mall.”

I looked at Mom with one eye closed hoping I could keep from waking up too much. “Early start? On what?”

Mom looked in my underwear drawer and shook her head. “Shopping for new clothes for you. Definitely new underwear. And you’ll need a dress for your date next week.”

I sat up and sighed. “New clothes? For what? And my underwear is just fine. Most of it is less than ten years old. And seriously? A dress? I don’t think Brad would care if I wore the same clothes I wore last night.” In fact, I was still wearing the same t-shirt I wore when… when Brad kissed me.

Mom picked up one of my briefs from the drawer as if it was radioactive, a brief that was beginning to separate from the waistband with some rather unsightly stains. She harrumphed. “I should have tossed these long ago. I’m tossing the whole lot. I’m going to replace them with panites.”

I pulled my covers off completely and sat up straight. “Panties? You can’t be serious!”

“Yes panties. And a bra,” Mom stated shaking her head as she tossed the underwear she was holding into my trash can. “A girl shouldn’t wear boy’s underwear.”

“A bra?” I almost shouted. “I don’t have boobs, Mom. And I’m not a girl. I’m sure you noticed when you used to change my diapers.”

Mom folded her arms. “I know I shouldn’t have been peeking, but last night, I saw a girl being kissed by a boy on the porch. You certainly seemed to enjoy it. We cried in each other’s arms last night and you confessed that letting yourself be the girl was the best thing that’s happened to you. I thought that if you wanted to be a girl, I’d help you. I’ve never seen you so happy as when Brad was holding your hand as you walked up to the house.”

I stood up to look Mom square in the eye. We’re about the same height. “I admit I liked being a girl for Brad, but I didn’t say I wanted to become a girl. I think you’re reading too much into what happened last night.”

Mom shook her head. “I’m sorry if I misunderstood. But honestly, honey. I saw only as natural a girl as could be last night being kissed by a boy and later when we talked. I thought to myself ‘This is a girl. I should have recognized this long ago.’”

I laughed without humor. “Don’t be ridiculous, Mom. I can’t just change to a girl because of a kiss. I just got caught up in the moment. I’ve never been treated like that before and I just let myself get carried away. And I think, so have you. I’m not a girl.”

Mom’s eyes continued to bore a hole in my head. “But you accepted his invitation for another date. A real date this time.”

I studied the floor for a moment. “Like I said I got carried away. I should probably call him and cancel that.”

Mom’s expression softened. “Is that what your heart is telling you to do?”

I frowned. “It’s what my brain is telling me to do. It’s only fair to Brad, right? He’s going to expect me to be a girl again for him. I… I can’t be something I’m not.”

Mom touched my arm. “Brad knows who you are, honey. But he asked you anyway. He could ask any girl he wanted out for a date. But he wants to be with the girl he likes.”

I shook my head. “I think he got carried away too. I admit the kiss was very emotional… for both of us. Our impromptu date last night was just because he rescued me from a jerk. He doesn’t really care about me.”

Mom smiled. “He gave you those flowers. He likes you. He wanted to impress you. Shawn, when you brought those flowers home, I’ve never seen you so excited about something. You stared at your flowers all during lunch and you set them on your night table so you could see them when you went to bed.”

“Nobody had ever given me flowers before,” I said glancing over at the flowers on my night table. “It was a novelty.”

Mom shook her head again. “So the roses mean nothing to you?”

I shook my head too. “No, sorry Mom. It was nice of him to do that. I…”

My cell phone started to ring. I picked it up and looked at it.

“There’s Brad now,” I said as I moved my finger to accept the call. “He’s probably calling to cancel after he’s come to his senses.”

Mom nodded and left the room as I answered the phone.

“Hey Brad,” I said into the phone. I was quickly gathering my thoughts so I could say I want to cancel the date if he doesn’t bring it up. No reason why he wouldn’t want to cancel that silly date idea.

“Hey Shawn. Good morning,” said Brad over the phone. “How’s my girl?”

I stared at the yellow roses for a moment, trying to process what Brad had just said. “Your girl? Brad, really. Is that a joke?”

Brad chuckled. “I guess it is a bit pre-mature to claim you as my girl. But to be honest, I can’t imagine being with anyone else. Not only are you beautiful, you’re just so sweet.”

I felt my face redden. “T… Thank you for saying that. But seriously, I think you’re crazy.”

“Crazy for you!” Brad laughed.

I frowned uselessly at the phone. “Come on, Brad. Stop it. This is kinda getting ridiculous. You know who I am.”

Brad paused for several moments. Then quietly, he said, “Yes. I do know. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

I felt my face redden even further. “You can’t possibly mean that. I think you let yourself get carried away last night.”

Silence. I thought maybe he’d hung up. “So last night didn’t mean anything to you?”

“No!” I almost shouted. “I don’t mean that at all! Last night… last night was… wonderful! Last night was… great. I just can’t believe you’d want to be with me.”

In all seriousness, Brad said, “Don’t put yourself down, Shawn. You’re a wonderful girl.”

He’s not getting it. Should I just say flat out I’m a boy? I mean he knows who I am. Why does he keep gushing over me?

I said, “You know, Brad. I’ve been thinking about our date next week…”

Brad Interrupted, “Oh me too! I can’t wait. I was so happy when you said yes. I was so afraid you’d turn me down. As pretty as you are, I’m sure you get asked out a lot.”

I don’t know about “a lot”, but I have to admit, guys mistake me for a girl a lot and I do get asked out. Until Brad asked, I’ve always said no. In all honesty, I just can’t deny that I really liked being kissed by Brad. “Well, maybe. But I always turn them down.”

“Thanks for not turning me down,” said Brad in a quiet voice. “But hey babe. I need to go and finish getting ready for work. I’ll see you at school!”

I stared blankly at the floor. He called me “babe”. Into the phone I said, “See you, Brad. Have fun at work.” I looked at the phone for several moments after he disconnected.

I stood in the middle of my room for several minutes thinking about Brad, our kiss, and our future date. He didn’t call to cancel. Despite what else was said, I think he called not to see how I was, but to check if I was going to cancel. And I didn’t. Am I letting him manipulate my emotions? Probably. Maybe on Monday, when I see him at the college, I’ll confront him, announce how ridiculous it is for us to date since I’m a boy. Yeah. That’s what I’ll do.

I stood in the middle of my room for another minute, staring at nothing.

With a new determination, I walked out of my room and found Mom in the kitchen.

“Mom,” I said, my voice steady. She looked up at me questioningly. “I need a dress for next Saturday.”

*          *          *

“Why so glum?” asked Mom as we walked through the mall headed for one of the several dress stores. “You should be excited to get your first dress.”

I glanced over at Mom as if she was from Mars. “First dress? Mom, this should be the first, last and only dress you buy for me. I have no business really to be getting a dress at all.”

Mom shook her head. “You said not half an hour ago that you needed a dress.”

I frowned. “Yeah. For a date I shouldn’t be going on.”

Not listening to me, Mom said, “While we’re here, we should get your ears pierced. You won’t be able to take your starter earrings out by the time your date comes around, but you should be able to get some pretty earrings in a few weeks.”

“I don’t want my ears pierced, Mom”, I said flatly.

Mom again shook her head. “What girl doesn’t want her ears pierced?”

“I think the operative word here is ‘girl’.” I said staring straight ahead.

Mom caught my arm. “Oh! Here’s the store where I saw a cute dress that I think would be perfect for your date.”

Mom led me by the hand into the store. The sales girl was busy cashing out a customer as we walked in. Mom led me straight over to the dress she had in mind.

She pulled it from the rack and held it up for me to see. It was a short, very girly floral print dress. Smiling at the dress, Mom said, “I think this is really cute and will look great on you.”

I shrugged, being a bit uncomfortable in a women’s clothing store. “I wouldn’t know.” Mom put the dress back on the rack and we walked back towards the sales counter.

Finished with the customer, the sales girl walked over to us. She smiled brightly when she looked at me. “I know you! You’re that really quiet girl that sits by the window in my English class.”

Mom winked at me at the sales girl pegging me as a girl.

The sales girl continued to smile at us. “So, what can I do for you ladies?”

Pointing at me, Mom said, “We’re here mainly to find her a dress for her big date. I was thinking something extra girly.” Sheesh Mom. Did you have to say it was for a date? And extra girly?

The sales girl smiled knowingly at me. “I’m sure we can find the perfect dress. Is this a formal date?”

Mom shook her head. “Oh no, though I’m sure we’ll need a formal later. Actually, I saw a dress in here last week that thought would be perfect. It was over here.”

Mom led us over to a rack filled with brightly colored floral print dresses. She muttered to herself as she went through the rack.

Suddenly grinning, she pulled out a dress. “This is it! I think this is so cute!” She held it up in front of me.

The sales girl nodded. “I think your daughter would look beautiful in it.” I’m sure if Mom had held up a burlap bag, the sales girl would have said the same thing. I think I’m too cynical to be a girl.

Mom grinned at me. “We’ll definitely take this.” She looked thoughtful for a moment. “Hmm. I think you could use a new skirt too.” A new skirt? I don’t even have an old one.

By the time we left the store, ignoring my protests, we managed to buy three dresses, as many skirts, a pair of skinny jeans, several tops and a dozen panties. A purse and a bra. We didn’t get fifteen feet from the store before entering a shoe store where we got a pair of high heeled strappy sandals and a pair of girly sneakers.

We started to walk past the food court when Mom laughed. “I just noticed I’m hungry! I got so carried away shopping, I forgot all about lunch. Want to get something to eat?”

I nodded. “Sure. If we have any money left. Seriously Mom. You shouldn’t have bought all that girl stuff for me.”

Mom shook her head. “Nonsense. This will provide you with a choice and I think you’ll want to start dressing in a more feminine way.”

I rolled my eyes. “I’m not a girl.”

Mom just shook her head at me. “Well now you have options. Pick a table in the food court and I’ll get us something for lunch.”

I nodded and walked over to a empty table that wasn’t close to the traffic of people walking by. I put the shopping bags in an empty seat. I sat there for a few moments staring off into space. Mom is acting so weird. Having a date with a boy doesn’t mean I want to be a girl.

“Hey cutie.”

I looked up and groaned inside. Ralph and his two minions had walked up to the table and were grinning at me. “Hey Ralph.”

“Here all by yourself?” asked Ralph. “I’ll buy lunch and we can chat.”

I smirked. “A chat with you and Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Dumber?” I pointed back in the general direction where Mom was buying our food. “I’m here with my mom. Sorry. You’ll have to find someone else to molest.”

Ralph took the seat next to me feigning being insulted. “You got me all wrong, sweet cheeks. I know it’s hard to believe, but I’m actually in the market for a new girlfriend. And you, beautiful, fit the bill perfectly.”

I smiled at Ralph. “Thank you. But I already have a boyfriend.” What the hell did I just say?

Ralph smirked and shook his head. “You mean that Brad dude? Babe, you don’t want him! A bodacious babe like you deserves a real man.”

I leaned in towards Ralph and laughed. “Do you know where I can find one?”

Ralph forced a smile. “Hah. You are just too funny. But see? Even you admit that Brad’s not a real man.”

Flustered, I scowled, “That’s not what I meant!” Why am I defensive?

Ralph chuckled as he stood up. “But that’s what you said. Catch ya around, sweet cheeks.” He turned to his two toadies and then looked at bag from the dress store. “Let’s get going, dudes. She and her mom have an afternoon of power shopping ahead. Just so much fun!” He laughed and they turned and walked away.

A few moments later, Mom set the bag with our lunch down on the table. “Friends of yours?”

I shook my head. “Hardly. He was trying to ask me out.”

Mom smiled at me knowingly as she sat down. She squinted at Ralph as he and his sidekicks walked away. “See?”

I frowned. “Even if I was a girl, I wouldn’t date him. He’s an asshole.”

Mom nodded. “You don’t want an asshole. Okay. After we eat we’re going she shopping and getting your ears pierced.”

I frowned again. “I’m not getting my ears pierced, Mom.”

*          *          *

To appease Mom, I spent a great deal of Sunday practicing putting on make-up and trying on my new clothes. The dress she bought me fitted perfectly. Mom continuously gushed over how I looked wearing the dress or the denim skirt and the various eye make-up she showed me how to wear. I had to force myself to keep my fingers off the new studs in my ears. I felt ridiculous. But I have to admit. I agree with Mom. I made a very pretty girl.

But one thing is for definitely sure. I will never wear men’s underwear again.

Mom looked up as I walked into the kitchen to help with dinner. “So, are you going to wear any of your new things tomorrow when you go to school? You look beautiful, by the way.”

I gave Mom an embarrassed smile. I was actually having fun playing with make-up and was currently wearing the whole nine yards – foundation, eye liner, eye shadow, mascara and blush. It was fun to play with, but still not sure I like it on my face. “Thanks. But I don’t think so Mom. Everyone will stare and laugh at me and think I’m some kind of weirdo. It’s one thing to look like this in front of just you. But the whole college? No. I think I’ll just wait and get dressed up for my date with Brad, then retire from being a girl.”

Mom looked at me quizzically. “You can’t retire from being a girl! You’re a natural beauty.”

I laughed. “That’s funny. To become a natural beauty, I have to wear all this make-up.”

Mom handed me a spoon. “Here. Stir that. Anyway, you weren’t wearing make-up when Brad gave you those flowers. He thought you were beautiful as you were.”

I smirked. “Brad’s crazy or something. And I am to I guess for accepting his invitation.” I pointed at my face. “I can’t go to college looking like this. Everyone will wonder why a boy is wearing make-up.”

Mom slid the casserole she was working on into the oven and turned to face me. “Let’s try a little experiment. Wait, hear me out. Tomorrow, wear your new jeans with one of your old favorite t-shirts. Just wear a little make-up – just a little eye liner, maybe some powder instead of foundation, no lipstick just to see if anyone notices or cares? If you start getting made fun of, which I doubt, you can just wash it off in the restroom.”

I shook my head. “That’s crazy Mom. I won’t even be able to get into the building without a bunch of people laughing at me.”

Mom studied me for a moment as I stirred a pot on the stove. “I think you’re more afraid of people *not* noticing and accepting you as a girl, than making fun of you.”

I gave Mom a small smile as I looked up from my stirring. “Don’t be silly, Mom. That’s not it at all. And I don’t get you pushing me to be a girl. That’s kinda weird.”

Mom shook her head. “Like I said. I saw a girl on the porch Friday night. A happy girl who enjoyed the attention of her guy. I just think you should allow yourself to be happy. Just try my suggestion in the morning. You can always change when you come home for lunch.”

I set the spoon down. “Okay, Mom. I’ll do it. Just to prove you’re crazy.” Mom grinned at me.

*          *          *

I really didn’t like getting up a bit earlier than normal to get ready for school. I always take a shower of course, but this time I had to spend some time shaving my legs and armpits as well as putting on my make-up. As Mom suggested, I went fairly light with it. I mean, it’s hard to hide that you’re wearing eye liner and mascara, but it wasn’t glaringly obvious either. Mom brushed my hair to make it fuller.

I slid the skinny jeans up over my panties (Mom actually tossed all my boy underwear in the trash). The material was a bit stretchy and the jeans weren’t uncomfortable like I thought they might. I topped everything off with my favorite t-shirt. I didn’t wear the pink sneakers Mom had bought me.

I discovered the tight jeans offered no real pockets other than the hip pockets which I could only carry my cell phone. Mom offered me a purse, but I thought that was taking things a bit too far. I decided I really didn’t need the junk I carry in my pockets. I just hoped I wouldn’t break my phone with it being in the hip pocket.

It’s only about a ten minute walk from our house to the college. Unless the weather is bad, I usually walk to school. But this time on my way, some things were different.

On nice days, there’s usually an elderly woman out tending her flowers in her front yard. She usually ignores me as I pass. This time after she looked up to see me, she smiled pleasantly and said, “Good morning!”

When I got to the campus, almost everyone I passed on the walkway, boys and girls alike would smile at me. Usually I go mostly unnoticed. A boy held the door open for me at the building’s entrance. None of these things are unheard of and maybe my awareness is just heightened because of worrying about negative reactions to my appearance is making me notice things.

It made me nervous when I entered my first class and several boys watched me enter and sit down. All during class, I caught one boy looking at me several times. I’m not sure what to make of that. It kinda creeped me out that I was getting attention from guys.

I finally made it to the break area where I get my homework done before going home without any real incidents other than just being noticed more than normal. A few minutes after I sat down, a girl from my math class walked up to me. She’s very cute. She always seemed shy and quiet in the class, so it surprised me when she approached.

“Hi. I hate to bother you,” she said hesitantly. She held up the paper with our homework on it. “But do you understand any of this? I feel lost.”

I smiled at her and said, “Sure. Grab that chair over there and we’ll work a couple of them together. It’s really not that hard.”

She smiled gratefully as she slid a chair from another table over and sat down. After a working several problems, she giggled a bit.

“Oh. So that’s what you do! I don’t know what I would have done without your help.” She smiled as she started to stand.

I pointed at a guy across the room. “Well that guy is pretty sharp on math. I’m sure he’d help you too.”

She smiled shyly. “Oh, there’s no way I could ask a boy for help. But thank you for your help. I’d do the rest of the problems now while you’re here, but I need to run. Thanks again.”

I shook my head as she walked away. She couldn’t ask a boy, but she asked me. I went back to the homework paper to try to knock the problems out before lunch.

I saw a flower get placed on the table on top of my homework paper. I looked up to see Brad setting a white carnation on the table.

I looked up. “Hey Brad. What’s up?”

He pointed at the flower. “They were selling these carnations in the foyer downstairs this morning. I thought you might like one.”

I picked up the flower and smiled at him. I took a sniff. “Yes, I do like it. Thank you.”

He stood back and looked at me. “I can’t put my finger on it, but you look really beautiful today.”

I felt myself blush. “Thank you. That’s sweet of you to say.” I was annoyed that I suddenly felt a little fuzzy inside. I was actually happy to see Brad. I waved the carnation. “You know, you don’t have to always bring me a flower.”

Brad laughed. “I know. I saw the flowers and thought of you.”

I turned the flower by the stem slowly and then smiled at Brad. “Thank you. That’s very nice. This brightened my day.”

Brad smiled at me. “I hoped it would. Well, I need to go. Talk to you later.”

I gently rubbed the petals of the carnation against my lips as I watched Brad walk around the corner.

*          *          *

The next day played much like Monday. I wore a bit more make-up and wore one of the tops Mom had bought me. I didn’t see Brad that morning, but they boy who usually sits at a table next to me doing his homework like me, shyly asked if I’d be interesting in going out sometime. It took me completely by surprise. I thanked him and told him I have a boyfriend.

A boyfriend? Do I have a boyfriend? Do I want a boyfriend? I mean, I’m not really a girl after all, right? Brad is cute and nice and everything, and I have a date with him coming up, but am I his girlfriend?

But on Wednesday, things got really different. I wanted to see what I could get away with as my debut as a girl earlier in the week was very understated. I went all out on my make-up, opting for a heavier eye liner the way I saw most girls at college wearing it. Eye shadow, lipstick and nail polish completed my look. I went for broke wearing the denim miniskirt. I honestly fully expected to be tossed out of school and told to go home and change.

That didn’t happen.

A pretty girl in my history class who normally wouldn’t give the time of day, smiled, waved and said hi to me as I walked into the building. It creeped me out when boys stopped talking and they turned their heads to follow me as I walked past them.

I was suddenly a person instead of the invisible man I had been since I started college. It annoyed me that something as superficial as make-up and a skirt would suddenly make people notice me. Until I realized that until now, I’d actually was hiding in a way, always walking with my head down and avoiding looking at people.

I took my usual spot to do my homework. I kept catching the boy across from me staring at me. This time I saw Brad approach. I felt myself smiling as he got closer.

“Hi Brad,” I cooed. I couldn’t believe how I felt when Brad got near me.

Brad grinned from ear-to-ear. “Hey Shawn. Sorry. No flowers today. But holy crap. Did you do something with your hair? I swear it seems every day you’re more beautiful than before.” I saw the boy at the table next to me frown at Brad.

“Thanks, Brad,” I grinned. I pointed at him. “That’s a nice sweater.”

Tugging on his sweater, Brad asked, “What? This old thing?” We both laughed.

Brad rapped his knuckles on the table. “I just stopped by to say hi. I got to run. Stay beautiful.” He looked quickly around before bending down and kissing my forehead. He turned, waved and walked hastily away.

The boy next to me asked, “Boyfriend?”

“I’ve never seen him before!” Then I laughed and nodded. The boy just shook his head and went back to his work.

I returned to my work as well and had just finished it when three girls from my English class walked up to me.

The blonde one whose name was Karen I think, asked, “Hey. We’re all headed over to Spanky’s for lunch and wanted to know if you would like to join us?”

Another girl, whose name I didn’t know said, “Sorry for not asking you sooner. You sit by the window and you’re so quiet we didn’t notice you.”

Karen smiled at me. “Yeah. A group of us try to hang out for lunch or girls’ night out. You’re welcome to join us.”

I guess Mom could claim success at my transformation. I’ve been accepted as a girl by a group of girls who would never have looked at me twice as a boy. I should feel incensed that oh now that I’m wearing a skirt, you want to be my friend.

I started putting my school work into my bag and smiled at Karen. “Sounds great! Thanks for inviting me!”

Karen nodded. “If you’re ready, let’s go.”

Since I had opted for a skirt, I had almost decided to wear my new high heel sandals. The walk across campus and across a busy street to get to get to Spanky’s made me glad I didn’t.

Fifteen minutes later, we were all in line to order our food. I hung back so I could be last in line so I could read the menu. I had only been in Spanky’s once and that was over a year ago.

The place was packed and I hoped there would be a table for all four of us to sit. To no one in particular, I commented, “Wow. This place is hopping today.”

A girl I learned was named Sandra nodded. “It’s always this way. We usually sit upstairs.”

I know that nobody was really looking or caring as I was in a group of girls as well as surrounded by other college kids, but I couldn’t help but feel a giant spotlight was pointed at me. I was completely presenting myself as a girl and other than catching a few boys glancing at me, nobody seemed to care. No one called the police. No one laughed at me. No small children pointed at me and said, “Mommy, why is that man wearing a dress?” A passing thought suggested I should have been doing this sooner.

We finally got our food and found a table upstairs. After taking a bite of her hamburger, Karen looked over at me. “If you don’t mind me asking and feel free to tell me buzz off, but I’m curious. It’s not like we’ve never seen you in class or around campus before. But you are always quiet and seemed to be hiding until just recently. I first I thought you were a bit of a tomboy, but honestly, you’re way too girly for that.”

I thought a moment before I answered. My first impulse was to tell Ms. Buttinsky to mind her own business. But if I did, this would probably be the last time I get invited to go to lunch with them. “You’re right. I was kind of hiding. But I got tired of doing that, you know?”

Sandra nodded. “I hear ya, girlfriend. What made you decide to stop hiding?”

This is a nosey bunch. But I guess I did make a sudden change. Before I could say anything, the third girl, Alexandra laughed. “A boy. What else? I saw her and that really cute guy who’s in my economics class at the movies Friday.”

Karen looked a bit surprised and glanced over at Alexandra. “That Brad guy? For reals?” Alexandra nodded. She looked back at me. “He’s hot. I approve.” She laughed.

Sandra frowned. “I tried all last semester to get him to notice me. Did you know him before?”

I sighed heavily and grunted a laugh and looked around the table. “I didn’t expect the Spanish Inquisition!”

Karen chuckled. “Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!”

I looked at Karen surprised anyone caught my reference. “But yes. I’ve known him since middle school.”

Karen grinned. “Did you guys date back then?”

Shaking my head I answered, “No. In fact I don’t think he said five words to me back then.”

Sandra frowned slightly. “So he’s your boyfriend?”

I laughed slightly. “Well, there’s been no formal announcement on the interwebs, but I think that’s safe to say.” Wow. Here I again saying I’m Brad’s girlfriend. If I say it again, is that a common law marriage?

Karen said, “Maybe you two should join us Friday night at Zachary’s. A group of our friends sometimes hang out there to play pool or unwind from the school week.” Zachary’s is a hangout for those between twenty-one and eighteen. No alcohol, but they have pool tables and pinball.

I let an honest look of disappointment cross my face. “I bet Brad would love to, but he has to work Friday and because of that, my mom and I already made plans.”

Karen shrugged. “Maybe next time.”

I nodded. “Definitely.”

*          *          *

“That’s great,” said Mom with a grin. “You’ve been accepted as a girl by other girls. That’s wonderful.”

“Is it?” I said as I plopped down on the couch. “I feel like I’m lying to them. It’s not like I got a sex change or something. I mean, the only thing different between the me of last week that was ignored and me this week is that I’ve been wearing make-up. It changed my appearance, but nothing else.”

Mom shook her head and frowned. “It seems the hardest one to convince is you. You’re beautiful, you’re feminine, you’re graceful. I think you were meant to be a girl.”

I frowned and pointed at my crotch. “That’s why I have a penis.”

Mom sat down next to me. “That’s why I said meant to be. Just go with it and see what happens.”

I laughed. “Yeah. I could get arrested. Beat up. Tossed out of college. All kinds of fun things.”

Mom laughed. “Or you could wind up with a husband.”

I sat up straight and pointed at her. “Don’t even joke about that!”

*          *          *

“Are you going to sleep all day?” asked Mom from my doorway.

I pulled the covers over my head to shut out the sunlight streaming through my bedroom windows. “Why did you wake me up so early? I was having a great dream. What’s for breakfast?”

Mom laughed. “It’s almost eleven o’clock. It’s almost time for lunch. Don’t forget you have your appointment at two.”

I pulled the covers down slightly and looked at Mom with one eye. “Appointment? For what?”

Mom walked into my room and spread the curtains letting in even more of the offending sunlight. “For the salon. They’re doing your hair, make-up and nails for your date tonight.”

I sat up in bed and rubbed my eyes, some of my hair falling across my face. “My hair is fine, Mom. And by now I can do my own make-up.” I waved my fingers at her. “And see? I did my own nails the other night.”

Mom shook her head and tsk-tsk’d me. “Your hair is in sad shape since you’ve never been to a salon before, you want to look gorgeous on your first real date and just look at your nails! You not only didn’t shape them, you didn’t even bother to file them.”

I slid my legs off the bed and looked at my Mom through my disheveled hair hanging in my face. “Mom. I’d bet money that Brad wouldn’t care if I wore my old Pikachu t-shirt, my old jeans with the holes in the knees and with absolutely no make-up at all. You know, just a bro-date. It’s not like I’m his girlfriend or anything.”

Mom shook her head. “I seriously doubt that, Shawn. I feel sure he wants to see a girl. When you take your shower, be sure to shave your legs.”

I looked down at my legs. “I shaved Monday.”

Mom rolled her eyes. “Shave them again. You don’t want to look like Sasquatch in your dress tonight.” She then left my room.

I ran my fingers up my legs and they did feel a little rough. But I really didn’t want Brad running his fingers up my legs anyway! Well, there’s no point in arguing with Mom about it.

*          *          *

I felt totally weird walking into a beauty salon with Mom. I felt like I was entering enemy territory. I wasn’t wearing make-up and was dressed in my skinny jeans and a girls t-shirt. Nobody seemed to notice me being out of place. We walked up to the woman seated at the counter.

Mom pointed at me. “She has a two o’clock appointment.”

The woman looked down at a sheet of paper and then smiled, looking up at me. “Oh yes. You’re here for the works.” She looked at my hair and frowned. “And honey, that’s none too soon.”

Mom smiled at the woman. “I’ll leave her in your capable hands. I’m going to do some shopping. I should be back around the time you’re done.”

The woman stood up. “Come on, sweetie. Let’s get started with a shampoo.”

I stopped following her. “But I just washed my hair.”

The woman shook her head. “We have to wash it again.”

At first I was all tensed up as I sat down in the chair and leaned my head back. But as the warm water was sprayed on my hair and I felt the fingers massaging the shampoo into my hair I began to relax. I decided I enjoyed being pampered.

They trimmed my hair just a bit to get rid of the split ends and styled my hair. They added highlights while they were at it. I had thought I was going to hate having someone do my make-up, but it was just more pampering. Someone did my nails while I was getting my make-up done. They did my toenails too. They even did my eyebrows which is going to create a feminine look even if I went back to dressing as a boy. I didn’t like wearing false eyelashes.

It’s not like they caked a ton of make-up on my face. It’s just the woman who did my make-up knows a lot more than I do. She did some contouring and highlighting. But in the end, it was still me, just with a more flawless look. I was shocked by what a little make-up would do in the hands of a professional.

Mom had come back about fifteen minutes before I was done. When I walked into the lobby, Mom stood up and her eyes went wide. “Oh my God, honey! You are just gorgeous! I thought you were beautiful before but now…” her voice trailed away.

I had seen myself in the mirror and I have to say I was shocked by what I saw. Even saying so myself, I was gorgeous. I even turned myself on which was a bit disturbing. To be honest, I really wasn’t sure how I felt about my appearance. I’m not going to deny that I don’t like the results and that I didn’t enjoy the pampering and attention. But is this really the direction I want my life to go?

*          *          *

After getting home, Mom had me change my underwear to very feminine panties and a bra. Mom insisted I’d feel more feminine wearing them. The dress slipped on easily. The short, tight skirt of the dress restricted the length of my stride which I found annoying. And last to go on were the high heeled strappy sandals. I’d been practicing all week after school so walking in them was no problem. I had a matching purse that I’d put some just-in-case money, a cell phone, make-up and keys. Mom insisted I add a couple of tampons for some reason I couldn’t figure out. Mom gave me a squirt of her favorite perfume.

We had about an hour before Brad was expected to show up. I must have checked my make-up and smoothed my ‘can’t really get any smoother’ front of my dress a million times. I was becoming a nervous wreck waiting for my date to arrive. I couldn’t believe I was dressed as a girl, wearing make-up, a dress and high heels. It was completely outside my realm of experiences. Not to mention I was being picked up by a boy. A boy. A young man. I looked down at my hands with my shaped and polished nails. This was insane!

Mom came into the living room where I was pacing nervously. She carried a small box with her. She smiled at me. “I almost forgot to give this to you.” She opened the box and extracted a necklace with a shiny, heart shaped pendent.

I gave her a surprised look. “You’re letting me borrow your favorite necklace? I don’t want to risk losing it.”

Mom frowned a moment. “You better not lose this. Turn around so I can put it on you. And you’re not borrowing it.” Mom clasped the pretty necklace on my neck. I turned around.

I touched the pendent. “It looks like I’m borrowing it.”

Mom smiled at me. “No. It’s yours now.”

I continued to hold the pendent. “But Mom. This is your favorite necklace. Dad gave this to you.”

Mom smiled at me admiringly. “And now I’m giving it to my daughter.”

Still holding the pendent, I said, “I don’t know what to say. Thank you. But I can’t take your necklace.”

Mom just smiled. “Sure you can. It looks beautiful on you.”

The doorbell rang. I vapor locked.

“Oh my God, Mom!” I exclaimed. “He’s here! Oh my God, I can’t do this!” I ran to the bathroom again and checked my make-up. I turned left and right to make sure my dress looked right. I ran back into the living room and in a small squeak I said, “I can’t do this!”

Mom calmly put her hands on my shoulders. “Take a deep breath, sweetie. You’ve got this.”

The doorbell rang again.

Mom walked over to the front door and opened it. On the porch stood Brad, holding a bouquet of flowers and dressed in jeans and an actual, clean button down shirt. I really thought he’d just sniff a t-shirt and then wear it. “Hi. I’m here to pick up Shawn.”

Mom waved him inside. “You must be Brad. Please come in.”

Smiling, Brad said, “Thank you. I…” He looked over at me and his eyes almost fell from their sockets. Wearing a huge grin, Brad walked up to be and presented his flowers to me. “You look absolutely gorgeous. Just beautiful. Here. I brought you these flowers. You still haven’t told me what your favorite flower is, so I brought a variety.”

I took the flowers. “They’re beautiful, Brad. Thank you.” I sniffed the fragrance of the flowers. I started to feel all warmly gooey and girly inside when I looked at Brad.

Mom reached for the flowers. “Let me take these, honey. You guys should probably go so you don’t miss your movie.”

I nodded. “Yeah. Those lines are always so long.”

Brad grinned. “I already bought the tickets on-line. Shall we go?”

Mom said, “Oh wait. Let me get a picture!”

Sounding annoyed, I said, “This isn’t prom, Mom.”

Mom giggled. “You two just look so cute. I want a picture.”

After Mom clicked off a few pictures of Brad and me, Brad reached out his hand to me. I looked at his hand a moment. If I take it, is there any coming back? I mentally shrugged and took his hand.

As we stepped onto the porch, Mom called out, “Have her back home by eleven.”

Brad turned and looked at Mom. “Yes ma’am.” I felt embarrassed. And I’ve never had a curfew in my life.

As we walked hand in hand to Brad’s car, I noticed him looking at me. “Sorry. But you’re about one of the pretties girls I’ve ever seen. You’ve always been pretty, but it seems every day this week, you just got prettier and prettier.”

I just smiled shyly. “Thank you for saying that.”

He held the door open for me and even held my hand to assist me getting into his car, which high heels and a short skirt really complicates.

After he got into the car and started the engine, I asked, “So. What movie are we going to see?” To myself, I said Please, not some boring chick-flick.

Brad grinned as the car pulled away from the curb. “I think you’ll like it. It’s an adventure with a romantic element. It’s Tommy Kincaid and the Lost Planet Airmen.”

I smiled. “I’ve been wanting to see that.”

Brad nodded. “Every girl loves Tommy Kincaid. It almost seems he has a new movie out every week.”

The drive to the theater was completed without incident. Well, there was that moment when Brad put his hand on my knee. I wrestled with myself over should I move his hand or leave it there. I finally decided I liked this hand there.

There was the usual mob outside the mall just hanging around. I held onto Brad with a tight grip. I felt even more vulnerable walking through the gauntlet of kids. As we approached the entrance to the mall, a familiar face stepped up in front of us.

Ralph pointed at me, ignoring Brad. “Hey beautiful. I was hoping to run into you. I got a question. Are you busy next Saturday night?”

I couldn’t believe he’d ask that right in front of Brad. The way I was clinging to him, it was unmistakable that we’re together.

I looked over at Brad and grinned. “I think I’ll be busy for the foreseeable future, Ralph.”

Brad laughed. “See ya around, Ralph.”

We walked past Ralph, leaving him just standing there and entered the mall. We then walked past everyone standing in line and entered the theater and headed towards the snack line.

Brad turned to me. “You want a Dr. Pepper, right?”

I smiled at Brad. “You remembered.”

Brad shook his head. “I’m not going to forget my girl’s favorite drink.”

I smiled at Brad as he turned to order our snacks. My head was spinning. I’m his girl? I’ve told several people he’s my boyfriend. I never ever wanted a boyfriend. Now I feel comfortable having one. I now have girlfriends to hang out with. I have boys asking me on dates. I feel as if I’m being propelled towards a destination that I’m not completely sure I want. Or do I? I look at Brad and I’m happy when I’m with him.

Brad handed me my drink. “Let’s go.”

As we walked up to the ticket taker, I said, “I hope the movie is good.”

The ticket taker looked at our tickets. “You’re going to see The Lost Planet Airmen? It’s awesome. I think it’s Kincaid’s best.”

Brad asked incredulously, “Better than Time Trap?”

The ticket taker laughed. “Oh yeah.”

Grinning, Brad said, “Cool.” He started walking towards the theater playing the movie.

Brad led me down the hall and then even though he was holding a big tub of popcorn, held the door open for me. We found a couple of seats in the middle about ten rows back.

As the theater darkened and the trailers started playing I allowed my self doubts to resurface. Am I a lie? A joke? Or deep down really a girl? I lay my head on Brad’s shoulder and decided to stop thinking about it.

After the movie itself started to play, Brad’s arm mysteriously found its way across my shoulders and he pulled me close to him. I just snuggled more into his shoulder. At a slow point in the movie, Brad looked over at me. When I looked up at him, he bent his head down towards me. I closed my eyes and parted my lips and he kissed me. I sighed as a chill swept down my spine. He kissed me again.

My emotions were running wild. Inside, I had turned into a big bag of warm girly goo. The rest of the movie was non-stop action, so Brad returned his attention to the screen.

When the credits started to roll, Brad leaned over. “Don’t leave just yet. They show outtakes during the credits and then there’s always something at the end.”

I smirked. “I’ve been to a Tommy Kincaid movie before.”

Brad grinned and kissed me.

As we walked back towards the lobby, Brad looked down at me. He’s still taller than me even when I’m wearing heels. “Are you hungry?” I nodded.

Brad smiled. “Good. Because I have reservations at Gladstone’s.”

I couldn’t help but gasp slightly. “Are you serious? That place is expensive.” I was expecting Taco Bueno or some such.

He laughed. “Only the best for my girl. Have you been there before?”

I shook my head. “No. Because it’s expensive.” Oh crap. He’s spending a ton of money on me. I hope he’s not going to expect sex or something.

As we walked through the lobby, I pointed at the restroom. “I need to hit the restroom real quick.” If we’re going to an expensive restaurant, I need to check my make-up after all that kissing.

I was surprised at how crowded the women’s restroom was, but then a movie had just let out. There was a crowd around the mirror and it took a few minutes to get up to it. My lipstick was smeared a bit. I wished Brad had told me. I would have hated to have walked around like that. I took a tissue from my purse and cleaned up the smear and re-applied my lipstick. This was something I certainly never had to deal with before.

When I came out, Brad appeared to be asleep on a bench outside the restrooms. I lightly kicked his foot. “Oh give me a break! I wasn’t in there that long!”

*          *          *

We walked into the fancy restaurant. There were about two dozen people sitting around waiting to be seated. I whispered to Brad as we walked up to the counter where you get put on the list, “I bet the wait is going to be at least an hour.”

He waved me off and said to the woman at the counter, “Brad Cooper. Party of two.”

The woman checked her list. “Oh yes. Just follow Angie.” She pointed at a girl who was standing idle.

Angie smiled. “This way, Mr. Cooper.” We followed her to a booth with a big picture window. She placed two menus on the table. “Enjoy your meal.” She turned and walked away.

Brad pulled a chair out for me and then slid it forward as I sat down. I looked around the restaurant. “This is nice.” I looked out the picture window. “And what a great view of the um…the parking lot.”

Brad shrugged. “Not like there’s any great views in this town. At least it’s a window.”

I smiled at Brad. “Well, I still think it’s nice.”

Brad picked up his menu and studied it. “Just order whatever you want.”

I looked at the menu and gulped. Even the salads were expensive. Most of the items seem to have too much food that I knew I couldn’t finish. I was pretty hungry actually and normally at a place like this I’d get something like an eleven ounce sirloin steak. Or should I get something more dainty? I looked over the menu a bit longer. Screw it. I’ll split the difference and get a six ounce sirloin, a salad and fries.

After the waiter left with our order, Brad reached across the table and took my hand. That gave me a bigger thrill than I thought it would. And seeing my hand with my beautiful nails in his hand really drove it home that Brad sees me as a girl. A guy is holding my hand. Such a simple thing loaded with so much meaning.

Is this really the direction I want my life to go? Looking back, I realized that I guess I’ve always been a bit effeminate. I never got into sports or rough and tumble activities. Do I want to continue to grow into being a woman? Do I want a vagina eventually? And do I want to go back? Before I was a social zero. Now I have a boyfriend and a social life. And as I studied my hand being held by Brad, how much do I want having a boyfriend? If I keep dating him, since he’s a guy, he’s going to eventually want to stick his thing inside me. Do I really want that?

It’s funny though. We didn’t really talk much during dinner. He told me about his job and the job he hoped to get when he got his degree. I nodded and tried to sound supportive. At least a degree in comp sci had a lot of job potential in this area. I hadn’t really picked a major yet.

When we were both winding down on eating and there was an uncomfortable lull in the conversation, I felt compelled to finally say what was most on my mind.

Looking down at my hands, I asked, “Brad, I have to ask.” He looked up at me questioningly. “Why me? I mean seriously, you know who I am. You’re cute and nice and girls like you. You could date anyone.”

Brad smiled at me and then lifted my hand to his lips and kissed my fingers. “Don’t kill the mood, Shawn. For me, you’re a beautiful woman. You’re smart and fun. It’s just that simple.”

I said, “But, I…”

Brad interrupted while chewing a piece of his steak. “Isn’t this the best steak ever? No place else in town is this good.”

I looked Brad directly in the eyes. “Yes. It’s wonderful.”

*          *          *

We didn’t say much on the drive back to my house. It was getting close to my curfew. I just sat there in a dreamy state watching Brad. I know it sounds ridiculous for me to have such a mixed bag of feelings towards Brad. The date had been great. We enjoyed a fun movie together and then had a great dinner in a romantic setting. And Brad behaved himself. And to be honest, I found myself looking forward to a possible second date.

I mentally chastised myself. You’re getting too comfortable playing a girl. Remember who you are! I laughed to myself, though Brad looked over at me. Yeah. If I kept being who I was, I wouldn’t be out with a cute guy or have a social life. I think I like who I am now.

About a block from my house, Brad glanced over at me. “Back at the restaurant, you asked, why you? Why not some other girl? I know you’re not surprised you’re not the first girl I’ve gone out with. Not a lot, but more than two or three. I’ve known you for years and you always seemed like a girl to me. No no. I’m not assaulting your masculinity, except I don’t see you having any. No, seriously.”

He pulled his car up to the curb. “You’ve always looked and acted female. At least to me, anyways. Honestly, I’ve always liked you, but I never believed you would go out. Until I gave you that flower. You accepted it. It made you happy. You always looked if not sad, then definitely not happy sitting at the table. Your face lit up when I handed you that flower. That’s when I knew.” He leaned in towards me a bit.

“Knew what?” I asked, leaning in a bit myself.

In a breathy voice, Brad said, “That you were the girl for me.”

His lips suddenly pressed into mine. Oh God. It was if I’d been waiting my whole life for this kiss. I closed my eyes and pressed my lips passionately against Brad’s. I slid my arms around his neck and held him close. A passion rose in me that I have never experienced before. I sucked his tongue into my mouth and sucked on it. We both moaned and gasped for air.

He pushed me back in my seat and I found him as much on top of me as he could get inside the car. He kissed my neck and I felt him lay his hand through my dress to feel my bra. I wished there was something else there he could grab. The windows were actually starting to fog over. While kissing, he took my hand and placed it on the crotch of his pants so I could feel how turned on he was. In a breathy whisper, I said, “Not yet.” He just kissed me harder.

His phone chimed. He pulled away and gave me a sheepish expression. “Five to eleven. I promised your mother.”

I continued to kiss him. In a dreamy voice, I asked, “Who?”

Brad laughed. “Your mother, silly. Come on. I’ll walk you to your door.”

I actually pouted as he pulled away and started to open his car door. I sat up and pulled the window visor down. Even in the semi-darkness I could see in the visor mirror that my face was a mess and Mom will know why. Hell. Mom was probably hoping for it.

I opened my door and Brad, ever the gentleman helped me climb out of the car. He took my hand and as I laid my head on his shoulder, we walked slowly towards my front door. The house was dark, but I just knew Mom was waiting right inside.

When we got to the porch, Brad brushed my hair from my face. “You are so beautiful. You’re amazing. You’re funny and smart.” I just stood there, staring into his eyes. Funny. Even wearing heels I had to look up at him. He put his hands around my waist and pulled me towards him. I put my arms around his neck. He lowered his head and kissed me. We both closed our eyes. We kissed a long time. He pressed into me and I could feel his hard-on. He sucked on my tongue. I’ve never felt so dreamy and gooey in my life. I never wanted this kiss to end.

Finally, Brad pulled away and took a deep breath. He ran his fingers through my hair. “You’re a beautiful girl. A wonderful girl. I really want to see you again.”

I grinned up at him. “Oh me too. How does lunch on Monday sound?”

He laughed. “Sounds great.” He smiled, bent down and kissed me again. “Good night, babe.” He turned and started walking towards his car.

I just stood there lightly touching my lips for several minutes after he’d driven away. Finally, I turned and entered my house.

Mom stood up from sitting on the couch. “How did your date go, honey?”

I just stood there for a long moment, feeling tears well up in my eyes. Finally I hugged Mom tight. With a cry in my voice, I said, “Mom. I think I love him.”

*          *          *

The End