Friday night was the first football game I went to cheer not only for our team but a particular boy. I knew the basics of the game but had not been particularly interested in them until the last quarter of play. Tonight with Warren playing I took more interest. I cheered the two times he had already caught the ball and crunched my arms in a hug when he was hit and tackled.

I told myself that my actions were foolish. Haylie enquired, “Is this just you trying to act like you think you should?”

I felt a little offended but gave her the benefit of doubt, “No, I know in my head it doesn’t make a difference but I’m cheering for Warren and the team just the same.”

Julia strongly said, “You should chide him for jumping over the defenders, my Dad says he could really get hurt.”

“He made another ten yards,” I said. “It was needed for the first down. Neither you nor I will change him at this point. Besides I’d rather he play baseball he’s more likely to get a scholarship for that.”

Julia says, “And when were you watching him play baseball, pray tell?”

“I tried out for the freshmen team a year behind him.”

Julia persisted, “But he didn’t really blossom until last year. Because of how well the team played most wouldn’t have noticed.”

I shouldn’t have hesitated in responding but I did and then I stuttered, “I, I guess…” Warren was always a player’s player. Yes, I noticed him this past summer as he blossomed as a player and filling out as a guy.

Julia nudged me, “It’s okay that you like him he is quite attractive. I’d say that even if he wasn’t my cousin. Though, I have cursed that he is my cousin. I wished I could find another like him for me.”

Once the game was over the guys soon showered and changed, but they never worried about fully being together and would lift, hug and kiss their girlfriend. Warren was probably oblivious to the fact that I had a skirt on as he lifted me. And I couldn’t both hug him and hold down my skirt.

Warren had actually caught another pass that helped secure their victory. It was nice to be in the midst of people coming over to him, congratulating him on a great game.

Zach Humphries was the only one who felt the need to remark. He said, “This was a good game for having a new girlfriend.”

Julia caught up to us at another hangout. With a big smile on her face, she said, “You know, Nicole even noticed you before this as a baseball player. I wonder if she already knew, she liked you?”

Warren was enthusiastic, “Maybe not as you were implying, but yes we knew each other in baseball. I guess that made Nicole’s blossoming and the two of us happier.” He said, “She even rubbed off on you, her perfume is nicely noticeable, not overpowering. Though after a football game she might wish it was stronger.”

I gave him a hug, “I can tell you’re a football player, but you’re not grungy. I thank you for that.”

Talia and Teri with the game over and I tried introducing them but there was just too much going to notice them. Talia and Bill stayed around, longer than Teri. I was out until eleven and it was strange being walked up to my house by Warren. I’d be picked up around 8:30. He simply said, “Thanks, it was nice having you there.” He leaned down to give me a kiss and I simply bent my head back like I was used to him kissing me.

It wasn’t until I began to undress that I felt cold. I had taken off my makeup before stepping into the shower. The hot water passing over me felt glorious as my spirit began to soar. Once done I put on a pair of baby-doll pajamas and my light robe.

Mom had gone out to dinner with a few girlfriends and she too had showered and was ready for bed. She called me to her room. “I heard you singing a little, I take it means you had a good night.”

“Yes, Mom. It was okay getting the affection of a guy. I think it is something I could grow to get used to. …Getting up early on Saturday morning to help build his team’s float, now that was new. It wasn’t my thing but getting together to build the float and get to know a new group of girls should actually be good for me. But I’ll deny it in the morning and want to stay in bed. Let’s see which side of me will win?”

Mom says, “I’m betting on Nicole. That’s right, Nick could claim Saturday and sleep in.”

Come Saturday morning, I was up early, showered, and getting ready to be picked-up by Julia and her friends Haylie Burris. Mom was taken with the bibbed cut-off shorts, leggings, and women’s sweatshirt. We’re to be in a barn near the edge of town to begin working on the homecoming float.

Shortly after we were at the barn it became apparent why it was helpful to have Julia and Haylie there with me. Brenda Green approached me along with Tiffany and some other girls. With a soft voice, she said, “You’re welcome to be there for Warren if he likes that for now. But, you don’t actually fit in our group now do you? I hope you can realize that? You can leave any time you’re not comfortable.”

I paused and thought, ‘I can accept this as a conflict, or I can challenge her to be bigger.’ I knew something like this would come up, and hoped Tiffany might be there. “Hey, it’s not like all of you are completely straight. No, I’m neither straight nor a lesbian, but I should be welcome here. I’m in support not only of one player but of the team like you.”

I could sense Brenda’s not sure what to do. I think she was expecting a fight or for me to leave, not this. “Well, I’m the quarterback’s girl and I don’t remember you being suggested and we have enough helpers. So why don’t you just leave and no one will be offended.”

“Whose offended? I might not have been one of the first volunteers but I thought all the starters were to ask someone to help. Warren may not be the quarterback, but he’s an important teammate. He’s the one who asked me, and the one to suggest if I should leave. I hope you have room for me as you do your friend Tiffany.”

Brenda looks at Tiffany who bows her head, then looks back to me. “You’re right, I’m sorry. I guess it shows I was a little uncomfortable.” She went over to say something to Tiff and then everyone went back to work on the float.

Ms. Gray came over to me and asked if things were okay. She’s the cheerleaders’ coach and I have her for physics. She asked, “Do you have any suggestions for the float?”

I said, “Julie and Warrant both said there was to be a panther, but the float looks like just the usual football field and goalpost.”

She says, “No one's sure where to start so no one has started on it.”

Haylie spoke up, “Football might we the kick-off but there’s the dance, music, cheering and people coming back for reunions. The float and panther should take all that in.”

I ventured to say, “If I and someone could get into the woodshop to make legs, we could also design t bobbing neck to give the appearance for the panther being alive, that would be cool.”

Ms. Gray asks, “Could you do that in the woodshop if I gave you time from physics and the lab?” I agreed it should work if the instructor would allow me and my friend, Peter, to help me. She asked, “What if it were Warren who helped you?” I blushed but agreed that would be good too. Haylie said she could make a paper mâché head for the panther and a neck it would be attached to.

“What if the float had dancers and a guitarist as well…” Someone added we could put symbols of the other things along the skirt siding.” Today, the girls along with two guys were doing what we could. The field goal was painted and chicken wire went where tissues would be wired in. We stopped around twelve-thirty pleased with the start.

Ms. Gray came over to me before Haylie, Julia, and I could leave. “I want to thank you, girls. It might not seem big, but you were a big help. Even bigger, Nicole was you standing your ground, instead of polarizing the situation you made it an opportunity.

“Tiffany was one of those who benefitted from how you handled it.”

I smiled, “It was a big step for me too. It’s part of what affirms for me that I’m Nicole.” I looked at Ms. Gray and knew enough was said. I was thinking, it was good for Warren as well.

Haylie said she needed to get home to go with her sister to take a bunch of kids to an orchard/pumpkin patch for her niece's birthday. The kids we all-around four. I asked, would your sister mind two more girls to help watch the kids.

We were taken up on your offer. It had warmed up enough to be comfortable in my cut-offs. Having little boys and girls touching or hugging my legs took a little getting used to. There were places they could feed chickens, ducks, lambs, and goats; they played in an ocean of corn; jumped, ran and slide; listened to stories, saw pigs race and rode a small train around the field.

Haylie’s sister Susan was very grateful. The parents who picked up the kids were delighted as all of the children were happy. One of the moms recognized me and remarked that I had gotten in on such a girl moment.

Once home I was ready to rest, but Mom said we were going out. I got dressed to go out; nothing fancy. I became suspicious of something when Mom suggested I go back and put on some lipstick. Having done so I ran to answer the doorbell and found Warren waiting for me.

“I called your mother earlier saying it would be good for me to take you out before homecoming.” With that I invited him in, “I need to grab a purse and to discipline a sneaky Mom.

He and I went and ate some Chinese food and then to a movie. The Chinese food was good, the movie was only fair. I like action that I can follow but not scary action from nowhere. The one plus was Warren holding me. I didn’t anticipate liking boys, liking me but it was happening.

After I got home, I visited with Marcia. “Does this mean you’ll relax and take your time? You can date Talia as well as Warren and give yourself more time to grow as Nicole.”

Lana connected and the three of us were having a sister moment. She had been two days late on her period which was unusual for her. She told Marcia, her confidant that it had finally started. But she and Hock were probably breaking up.

She wants to take a business internship, come the new year which would take her to Boston. He wants her to take courses for a master’s degree. She feels he’s wanting to direct her life. Marcia says, “He’s trying to keep you for himself. This is what you wanted. I think you need to do it. Not only for you but to see how he handles things.”

“But what if he decides to look around to others?”

“Lana, you know the answer to that better than me.”

“But it already hurts just thinking about the possibility.”

I spoke, “It stinks having feelings. At least if I lose Talia I have Warren but what if I lost both?”

Talia spoke, “You have yourself, just like I do, sometimes that needs to be enough.” The was a pause, “Thanks squirt, you helped me to answer my own dilemma.”

Marcia began to give me a hug that Lana could see. “Our budding sister is beginning to understand there’ more than clothes and makeup.”

I said, “I knew that but it is different than I imagined.

I text Teri to see if she was still up. We visited with me telling her about going out with Warren. I felt her friendship was going to be more important than ever.

She confessed to having feelings for me as well as the others. We agreed as Nicole I needed to date, be friends, and learn who I am first.

I said, “It feels like I am being selfish.”

“You need time to become the butterfly that is emerging. If that’s selfish; it needs to be. I knew you were a girl before. Our crazy bet gave you the excuse to come out of your cocoon. I for one enjoy this new you.

To be continued…