The Daily Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 2233 by Angharad Copyright © 2013 Angharad All Rights Reserved.

Simon was very apologetic for allowing Sammi to be used for a work project. Then he said something very revealing. “You realise how much bonus she got this year?”

“How would I know that?”

“Read your director’s reports more carefully.”

I blushed but was still ignorant. “Well? Are you going to tell me or not?”

“Fifty K.”

“Crikey.”

“She’s putting it down as a deposit on a flat in London.”

“Oh,” I said weakly, “might have been nice if she’d told me herself.”

“Sorry, I assumed she had. I thought girls told their mothers these things automatically.”

“Perhaps it shows what she really thinks of me.”

“She thinks the world of you; she’s always on about you. She couldn’t have got where she is without your support.”

And your money, I thought to myself. I mustn’t be churlish, especially as it looks she’ll be leaving the nest as soon as she heals up. She’ll have to learn to keep house then, won’t she? Tough, I’m not teaching her and she hasn’t done much round here in the way of housework. Still, with that sort of bonus every year she’ll be able to pay for her flat in no time. Oh well, good luck to her and her dopy boyfriend.

“Yeah, sure.” I said and walked away.

“Cathy, don’t just walk away, she’s still our daughter.”

“No she isn’t. We’ve treated her like one but she’s done very little in return, except a bit of computer stuff now and again. Even Phoebe is more like a daughter than Sammi ever was.”

I walked away leaving him open mouthed and ignored him when he called after me. I went to my study, shut the door and locked it; then had a good cry. I could see it was her time to fly the nest and didn’t have a problem with it. It was not being kept in the loop that annoyed me. It was natural she would tell Simon, she spends time on a train with him every day, so they are quite close. I felt like I’d been ignored unless she wanted something. I’d been used. I know some people are like that, users, abusers even. But this wasn’t some story being posted on the internet where people can read it without any effort and where any recognition of the author is a huge bonus, you almost expect that. This is about taking someone into the inner sanctum of the family and allowing them to grow from an awkward kid into a confident and attractive woman. She wouldn’t have made it without us, of that I was pretty sure. But then I knew someone else who wouldn’t have made it without the intervention of a couple of helpful souls. I cried some more, I was hurting.

“Are you going to see the girls?” called Simon through the study door.

“Girl, yes.”

“Open the door.”

‘Piss off,’ I retorted under my breath but I opened the door.

“Well, are you going to the hospital?”

“To see Danni.”

“What about Sammi?”

“She’ll be up to her brand new fanny in computer problems.”

“Oh that, sorry.”

“Don’t apologise, she doesn’t talk to me much anyway. Perhaps you should go and see her–she talks to you.”

“Look, babes, don’t take it so personally.”

“How am I supposed to take it then?”

“She was busy...”

“She’s busy–what the bloody hell am I then–oh that doesn’t count does it, it was women’s work dealing with children’s problems like the castration of my son by a teenaged psychopath. No I’m not busy.”

“Okay, I said the wrong thing...”

“Yes you did, so why don’t you just shut up.” I walked away and he watched me go, I could feel his eyes boring into the back of me but I was not going to apologise, I was so angry he was lucky I didn’t say more.

I took Livvie, Trish and Meems to see Danni. The staff nurse in charge turned a blind eye as long as there was no noise. They were as quiet as mice, talking in whispers or squeaky little voices. It really was like being with some human sized mice.

Danni was improving in leaps and bounds and the infection looked to be resolving. She was miffed she had to stay in bed and she was also hungry. “They only give me thin soup and bloody strawberry jelly.”

Trish looked at her and said, “I know.” Then she looked across at me and smirked. The other two girls were appalled that they were starving their sister to death.

“I’ve got some cwisps you can have,” offered Meems but I had to stop her, explaining why Danni was on the low residue diet.

“So you mustn’t poo?” Meems said to her.

“I can’t can I? Not had any food for days.”

“Is Sammi the same?” asked Livvie.

“Yes.”

“Can I go and see her?” asked Trish. I agreed and when we left the two of them were doing something on a laptop I didn’t understand or want to. Sammi didn’t even acknowledge my presence. The sooner she went the better. I turned and went back to Danni when it was time to leave I sent Livvie to collect Trish. If I’d gone I’d have said something very unladylike.

“Why didn’t you say hello to Sammi?” asked Trish as we drove home.

“I think Mummy is a bit miffed with her.”

“Why?”

“Never mind.” I said it in a tone that even Trish recognised as final.

Simon got the cold shoulder in bed. “How was Danni?” he asked.

“Much better thank you.”

“And Sammi?” he asked cautiously.

“How would I know, I stood by her bed for five minutes and she didn’t even speak to me.”

“Did she see you?”

“I think I’m large enough for a myopic bat to see.”

“She’s like you, when she gets into something she only focuses on that subject. Like you she has amazing concentration, like Trish.”

“Unlike me, she has very little awareness of others. When she’s ready to leave hospital, she can go to the hotel–the bank can pay for it. I don’t want her here.” I turned over with my back to him.

“This is her home.”

“Was.” I spat back.

“Look, I know you were hurt by what I told you, but it’s only a little thing.”

“Is it? How would you know what I’m feeling, or do those count for as little as everything else I do round here?”

“Hang on, calm down–you’ll wake Lizzie.”

“Well if I do, you can feed her–I’m on strike.” I got out of bed and slammed the bedroom door after me and went and got into Sammi’s bed after locking the door. I cried myself to sleep. It shouldn’t be like this, I don’t deserve this, I kept saying to myself. Tomorrow I decided I was going to Bristol with Lizzie and Cate, for how long I didn’t know. Simon could sort the rest of them out, do the school parties and visit Danni, run the house and so on as my contribution is so obviously worthless. And before anyone thinks I’m being spiteful, if I was, I’d take Jacquie with me.