The Daily Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 2247 by Angharad Copyright © 2013 Angharad All Rights Reserved.

She pulled on the trousers and was astonished that they fit her. “Well done, you’ve just altered your first pair of trousers.”

She paraded in front of the mirror looking very pleased with herself, then she turned and gave me a huge hug and a kiss. “Thank you, Mummy.”

“Don’t thank me, you did it all.”

“Only because you showed me what to do, I’d never have been able to measure them up and shorten them.”

“But you did it, and you did it all.”

“Yes I did, didn’t I?” She smirked, “So if I can do that how come you can’t learn to use Linux?”

“Different skills involved,” I said defensively.

“Nonsense.”

“Oh, is that the time?”I said and bustled out of the lounge and into the kitchen. She followed me–so she got another lesson, in filling the bread machine. They might be cleverer than I am, but I’m sneakier.

At nine, a minibus disgorged its contents and my house became full again. Ingrid arrived shortly afterwards and we had a row between her and Hannah. Hannah had had some fun and didn’t want the day to end. Her mother already stressed from visiting David was unsympathetic.

I managed to separate them and made Ingrid a cup of tea and we sat in the kitchen. “I know what’s best for my child,” she insisted. Sadly, parents are often the least informed about what their children need.

“Look, Ingrid, while you’re so busy visiting David, why not let her come in here to play with my girls.”

“You’ve got enough children, you’re not taking mine as well.” This cut through me like a knife. She realised what she’d said and apologised but it’s always too late, the damage is done.

I accepted her apology. “Actually, Ingrid, I don’t want any more children, especially girls.”

“But you turned all the boys you had into girls.”

“I didn’t turn anyone into anything. I know what gender discomfort is all about so I wouldn’t encourage it in others.”

“So how come all the boys you had here are now girls?”

“Trish, Julie and Sammi were all on their way to girldom when I met them. I accept Danielle and Billie were boys when they came here but I didn’t encourage them to change.”

“You didn’t stop it though, did you?”

“No, but I took advice from an expert before I let them continue exploring their gender and sexuality.”

“Hannah is ten years old, I don’t want her exploring her gender or sexuality.”

“You can’t stop it, it’s part and parcel of childhood and adolescence. We aren’t formed fully formed when we emerge from our mother’s wombs, we grow into the people we are to become–or where we aren’t allowed to grow we shrink into the people we shouldn’t have been, constrained and restricted and full of inhibitions and complexes.”

“You can’t just let children run amok.”

“I agree whole heartedly, they need boundaries to protect themselves, but they need to be wide enough to allow the children to explore themselves and others.”

“Oh, so it’s okay for kids to have sex, is it?”

“That would depend on their age and maturity, and even then I’d be a bit anxious about it and would probably say no were they to ask. In some ways I can be a bit over protective.”

“Oh,” she was obviously seeing me in a different light. An hour ago one of my elder daughters was singing my praises now I was being reappraised by someone who obviously wasn’t a member of my fan club.

“I think we feel different about bringing up kids, but I think I can trust you with Hannah.”

“She’s welcome here anytime, as are you and David, although I appreciate he probably spends enough time here usually.”

“He loves it here, loves all of you. Me, I’m wary of people who’ve got so much money they don’t think like we do.”

“I haven’t always had much money. I lived for three years on beans on toast when I was an undergrad.”

“See different world–you’re posh an’ educated, I ain’t.”

“You attended the university of life, while I was up the road from Brighton. I learned loads of things about biology, chopped up rats and dogfish aplenty. Where did that get me? It didn’t explain why I felt and looked like a girl but was officially a boy. It didn’t teach me about relationships as a boy let alone as a girl. I spent three years playing with microscopes, and oh yeah, I can make wonderful slides of nematodes or a slice of rat brain but how does that equip me for life?

“When I first met Stella and Simon, I was trying to cope as a boy who was rapidly growing breasts and hips. I was also trying to study for a masters in mammal ecology, especially dormice. I was heading for a nervous breakdown, trying to keep everything together. I was disowned by my father who tried to kill me and I then attempted to finish the job. Thankfully, I was rescued and I collided with Stella who encouraged me to transition. She had to loan me some clothes because the ones I was wearing were damaged when she hit me off my bike and into a hedgerow.”

Ingrid gasped, “She hit you off your bike–she could have killed you.”

“Yes, she could, however, instead she took me to her place cleaned me up loaned me some clothes, did my hair for me and helped me with some makeup and the next thing I know, Simon comes in and fancies me.”

She snorted, “No?”

“Then I caught my heel in my skirt and fell on top of him covering him in red wine.”

“Oh my god,” she said and chuckled. “It didn’t put him off then?”

“No, but I had no idea about dealing with boys–as a girl, that is.”

“You seemed to have learned since, the way you dealt with my ex, that was brilliant.”

“Was it? I thought he beat himself, I just enabled him to do it.”

“I couldn’t ha’ done it.”

“Perhaps with the correct training you could, but what I’m trying to say, is we all need room and encouragement to grow.”

“Hannah, can come tomorrow–all right?”

“Would you like to tell her?”

“What an’ show how you bamboozled me?”

“You don’t think I did that, do you?”

“No, not really.” She shrugged and apologised again. I patted her on the shoulder.

“It’s been a long day for all of us. Oh, how is David?”

“Struggling–could do with that mystery woman who appears at the hospital now and again and heals people with all sorts of things. They say she’s really an angel.”

“Perhaps if you believe in her enough, she might just come.”

“Nah, not me, things like that don’t ’appen to me.”

“Never lose hope, you never know what’s around the corner.”

“Didn’t you used to do somethin’ with healin’?”

“Used to, haven’t done anything for ages.”

“Maybe you could contact this angel woman?”

“I don’t know, perhaps I will just try.”

“Thanks–you’re a good un, Cathy. Sorry about what I said earlier–I shouldn’t have.”

“It’s been a long day, take Hannah home with you, tell her you love her and get some rest. We’re here if you need us.”

There was a minor contretemps until Hannah realised she could come again tomorrow, then she went off quite happily. Meanwhile, I wondered how I could try and help David without anyone finding out. Life doesn’t seem to get any easier or less complicated, does it?