Mr. Briggs stuck his head into the office and announced, “Beason is comfortable in covering the additional cost of the Hospital Children’s Christmas… …Seemingly they heard both from the E.C.R. Hospital and the Philadelphia newspaper.” They are not sure what happened, but some are calling it the Christmas Miracle at Willow Grove.”
“What miracle?” Heather asked me hadn’t I answered my phone. I forgot it was on vibrate and being in my purse, it had gone unnoticed. …I called the hospital but was told they would rather share the news in person. The director of nursing came with a big smile and hug, but quietly told me not to say anything.
Jim recognized me as did Tracy and a number of other children. Tracy asked me, “Are we going to continue to feel like this?”…
Floor Director Sharon and the Hospital Director of Nursing both shared that the hospital was in an area where they moved slowly and cautiously… …I asked, “How will this impact Tracy, I think part of his well being is connected to her.” …Darla called Heather, sharing this is going to complicate and put pressure on Anne…

“We were concerned too,” said Head Pediatric Nurse Sharon, “but she too appears to be getting better. We are slow to call what is happening a ‘miracle’, but both are a little beyond anything we can explain. We want at this time to slow down the release of information until we really know what is happening.”

Anne says, “I don’t know why it needs to be called anything unless one could confirm it. If it is something that holds and they are healthy, isn’t that enough?”

“But a Philadelphia reporter and a radio station have gotten wind of it and they will not hold the story beyond tomorrow morning. And if we can’t explain it they’ll call it a ‘miracle’.” Roz the Hospital’s Director of Nursing concern did not appear to me to be the news media. I was guessing but I suspected she was more concerned with doctors and the medical world at large.

Darla shared, “If you withheld the next reports? Then if rumors circulated it would be more likely things would be out of control. My imagination is connection to health and family would be to worry suspecting that the news is not good. It would complicate things worse if more families wondered in concern for their children, not knowing if it were Jim and Tracy or maybe their children.”

I, Anne, spoke up, “We want the families, to be in on your information, so their thoughts and emotions are not swinging about. The children and the families, not us, deserve to be talking to you about what is happening.”

Sharon spoke now with a stronger sense of her authority, “That sounds like a healthy option to me. I know if I were a parent who went through all they have been through they deserve to know.”

Roz said, “Why don’t you call both families to come and have the whole families here?

“Mr. Briggs and I would see to paying for their lodging. When will their next test results come out?”

“We have them and the good news is holding, but the results are not officially in their records,” Sharon said.

“If they have already been double checked, what if both were sent out of the hospital to be confirmed? Would that help in concern of the medical field,” I asked?

I went back to Tracy and Jim while the staff did what they decided.

Tracy did not have as much trouble as Jim in recognizing me as the same person from the night before. It took a warm bear hug from behind to help Jim become a believer. It would be close to 8:00 p.m. before Tracy’s family would be to the hospital. The parents had started out before they received word to bring the whole family.

It was 6:00 p.m. when Jack arrived at the hospital carrying my evening dress with him. I went back to check on Jim and Tracy and found Tracy and Jim both upset. Tracy had tried to paint Jim’s fingernails and kept making mistakes. Nurse Staci said she would help, but decided she shouldn’t without his parents’ consent.

I had agreed to help before I knew what I was agreeing to. Part of Tracy’s trouble was her nail polish started to thicken from the bottle being left open to long to go on smoothly. I did have a nice pink polish that I thought would look good on a twelve year old, but I wasn’t thinking about a boy.

Jim insisted if we waited until all the results were in; his parents would revert to their old selves and say it was foolish. I worked to get Jim’s nails in nice shape, but let Tracy begin to polish the nails while I searched for Staci. I found Staci and asked if she would do a little special detailing. She agreed to put purple moon slivers on each nail. So I finished painting the nails, Tracy used her hair blower to dry them hard and Staci kept her world and put a pretty moons on each nail.

I was delightfully surprised as Jim’s Mom was the one mildly upset and his dad said they were cute. Mrs. Rogers calmed down when her husband said, “A lot of boys would be very happy to get this much attention from three cute young women. He’s been through a lot with Tracy and I think he has the right to celebrate.”

“I don’t care if others think he’s being silly or he’s cute; I am glad he’s happy.” I kind of wished we could stay around and see what Margaret wanted to do. She was a twelve year-old girl, who asked if I had a lipstick that went with the nail polish, which I did. I gave her the lipstick and suggested her and Jamie, Jim, should become twin sisters for the night. Margaret thought it was a wonderful idea, except she did not have the nail polish. I contributed that as well. I asked her to get pictures and to send them to me.

My dinner with Jack went well it was my first late dinner with a guy. He didn’t talk as much as my women friends but it was somewhat nice to talk about sports and new subjects. Jack had come from a family to three brothers and two sisters. I asked, “As the youngest of the brothers did your sisters like to draw you out for special treatment?” He acknowledged he had been but did not elaborate.

He was the youngest of the five and his oldest sister was six years older and was often the next in charge of his care. Jack was not only working full time but he was seeking a master’s degree at nights. It turned out that he was a product representative and dealt with Heather’s company LITCO. I got him to admit he and a few other men were encouraged to be at the pub where we first met. Not all our interests or philosophies mesh well but he was a fun date.

Did I just think of him as a “fun date” what was I thinking? I needed to use the restroom while at dinner and found it interesting to be going into the women’s room on my own. I had gotten phone calls but answered just the one from Darla. I told her how Jim was doing as well as to let me know which door would be open as I came home. I felt like a teenage girl when Jack brought me home.

Monday I was back into my studies, and also stopped at the Department Head and acknowledge an identity change might be forth coming. He asked if I might switch to Dr. Woods as my faculty advisor. I set up a meeting with her, Darla and me. Dr. Monica Woods came as a full professor the year before when the Department promoted her .

She was honest in sharing that my special situation was not something she looked to be involved in this early in her tenure. She was not one for backing down and wanted to know I was not some guy who would leave her hanging out to dry. Darla spoke, “Anne/Bob is likely to need more that the average faculty counsel. But inside that good looking gal is an even more beautiful person emerging.”

Dr. Woods surveyed my instructors and told me where my GPA was previously a 2.7. This semester, it was on course to be 3.35 and qualify me for the dean’s list and my first academic honors. She did like the fact that she and I often wore skirts, had similar tastes in fashion, and liked my ethics of involvement.

I was surprised, when instead of patting me on the back for my accomplishments; she encouraged me to strive to do more and not become complacent. Dr. Woods said, “Make sure you finish your papers and exams on the upswing; Bob had a habit of being late or not following through. I also advise Susan and you to find a new apartment so as much as possible you can start anew. “

“Needless to say you have the freedom to go back to being Bob and will need to wrestle with your identity ongoing, but I recommend you do it publicly as Anne.” I did dress as Bob in closing out two courses and in communicating with a few friends.

With the close of exams came the Christmas program at East Central Regional Medical Center. Once again we were in our Christmas Elf attire. A few guys from college and work places came to help out and see us in our elf costumes.

I already knew it would not likely be all fun. Another very sick patient, Margaret had continued to decline in health, but she embodied the Christmas spirit in a way we could not have imagined. She asked my help in donning one of the elf costumes and in helping her put on the elf costume, her spirit moved me. As she said whether she did something or nothing there was pain and she’d rather take part in the activities.

Margaret wanted to be active and believed prayer and the spirit of Christmas helped her to relax and enjoy things more. During the evening I was seeing glimpses of light some lingering in her room or around Margaret and others moving about like butterflies. One such glimmer of light seemed to be always be present.

I was distracted and called here and there, and not sure what I saw could not be. Meeting with the other children and their families especially Tracy and Jim helped me to get absorbed in other things. Though I had not been part of such an activity before, I like others was greatly impressed.

Nurses, doctors and other hospital staff stopped in and stayed longer than they expected. We were ready for parents to treat them special, but the focus was on the children. There were stories, a variety of activities for different age children. Even the older children liked what we did and that enough things were geared for them.

The day before the festivities, there were signs that Margaret’s health was deteriorating but the expected pain and suffering were not there. Margaret had one unusual request and it was for an artist to come. Gabrielle an education and arts major was recommended and came an hour before the festivities. She and Margaret visited for awhile often smiling and then Gabrielle and Margaret started their work.

While Gabrielle was using a large easel pad she informed me and the director of nursing the end product was to be much bigger. The face, body and arms would change but not as though the previous images were wrong but that the figure had the power to transform.

Cloaked mostly in beauty the unfolding image of an angel showed strength and a willingness to fight and protect. A shield previously held by the angel is now falling or floating as the angel reaches for a child with her right hand and with her left for a sword. The span of the angel’s wings is beautiful and awesome. While the clothing of the angel appears to be flowing and glowing robe or cloak, there is a hint of warrior’s clothing underneath.

While Margaret took breaks, Gabrielle continued to draw and color. Margaret wanted time as an elf bringing happiness and hope to others. Others looking at the work in progress ask if it was to be a painting or sculpture; Margaret just responded, “The angel is living.” It was not obvious for a while there were lights traveling behind the angel. Several lights were revealed to be angels; one was appeared to be carrying a child.

Margaret gathered six children who were thought to be critically sick, she asked me to help bring them three at a time to her room for prayer. Later Margaret shares that four of the six will fully recover and the other two will live longer than expected.

Discovered years later, the child carried by the angel had the same hair color of the redheaded boy who died some 14 months after Gabrielle drew the picture. A few adults were appalled about the militant images of the sword or the appearance of the warrior’s clothes under the angel’s cloak.

Margaret died three days before Christmas, and the day after Margaret’s family commissioned the painting and gave it to the Hospital. I was asked to defend their choice, and luckily I had already heard the stories of many of the children. With the initial drawing displayed for two weeks all the reactions of the children were of hope, love and warm feelings.

Asked if the angels replaced the doctors and medicine and the children knew better. Two children actually shared that angels encouraged them to allow the doctors and staff to help them; another shared an angel sat with her as she went through her treatments. Jim and others shared, “We have not seen them fighting but we know they do, they fight for us not against us. I ask you; please do not disarm Angelina and her helpers.”

When asked why he called the angel Angelina, Jim shared without hesitation “Angelina is our matron angel.” He shared other angels came and went but Angelina was tireless, “She was with us when Anne prayed for Tracy and me.” I was not there but was deeply moved and agreed there was a presence greater than us that was moving that night.

I called home and dared to ask if it was okay for Anne to come home for Christmas. While I would not lie about whom I was; my parents we appreciative that I was not yet announcing I was their son. Only Laura and a few neighbors knew my identity as Bob.

I had until December 27 off from work. Mom went with me on one trip to shop for Christmas. She knew the clothes sizes of my sister-in-laws and the styles they wore. I got each an outfit that only another woman would likely buy. I got a pant and skirt outfit for Kayla. Mom had me pick out an outfit I liked that she and dad bought for me.

We were on our way home when Mom changed routes and we ended at a massage place. I shared it was a nice idea but I wasn’t yet ready for it. Mom shared we had appointments and she had checked that they were TG friendly. Mom and I had time in a whirlpool and then the massage. The masseuse was a bit friendly to me but I enjoyed the attention and I was glad my mother was there. It stopped me from asking him to go further. Mom and the masseuses complimented how beautiful I was. I insisted I pay for the visits and Mom ultimately agreed. I did have a number for a date if I would be so open.

Come Christmas we went to the Christmas Eve service and on Christmas day opened gifts and had our holiday meal together. After we had opened the gifts within the family, my mother brought out two more gifts. The tag said “From your friends at the office, you may want to open this in the privacy of your own home.” I shared quickly about my first office gift and not heeding the warning to open it at home. Mom and Barb reminded me this was technically my home.

I could tell by the handwriting was from Darla. That one I assumed was a simple outfit. Even if it had panties and bra it would be mild. This one was a negligee and satin and lace robe, along with a framed photo of Jim, Tracy, me and others praying. My brothers were the first to acknowledge how good the elf looked in costume.

One brother joked that he knew why Jim had felt better with the prayer and presence of the elf. It was awhile before he understood the elf was his brother, now sister. By then he would be embarrassed by his description of me as vivacious. He said he understood why Tracy saw me as an angel, but suggested that Anne had corrupted the boy while inspiring him to live, but for less than noble reasons. Our Mom was upset that he had thought in those terms and more upset he hadn’t thought to keep his thoughts to himself.

Along with the pictures there was some delicate clothes tied in a nice pink satin ribbon. Mom started to put the top back on and said “we can look at that a little later.” Something told me to be humble and do as mom suggested. The other box had no warning and I was excited to see what the office women got me, Anne. The box was big. I surmised it was either big or an outfit.

The latter was true. A red top of satin and lace, it was both eloquent and simple, the skirt was short and black and the panty/bra set was a cute pink. Kayla asked, “Mommy why are girls’ under clothing so pretty when others aren’t supposed to be seeing it?” Barb giggled, “Kayla I have a few things to explain as you grow about being a girl.”

The stockings were smooth, pretty and not scrunched into a little egg or box. Mom and Barb cooed, “I guess you haven’t had the pleasure of wearing silk stockings before? We will need a girls’ night out sometime when you are back from college.”

It was a good day as I helped to get the Christmas dinner as well as setting the table. There were twelve of us around the table; family, food and faith, not necessarily in any particular order blessed us. I delayed going back a couple of days and we had our women’s night out. We went into the city to find a place to let down our hair and inhibitions.

My Mom had second thoughts, and gave me the choice of backing out with her as an excuse. I gave Mom the same choice, but we decided to experience the night. One of my old dates Laura, came with us, so there were six of us in all. I am not sure how but it quickly became obvious I was a target for dancers to pick on. We were duly impressed with the first two guys who performed and during an interlude the talk was we might need to change panties if they continued to get better and more provocative. The third and fourth dancers were women and the others were surprised how they too were aroused by them. Barb even got to kiss one on a nipple after she tipped her nicely.

The second female dancer was as nicely endowed as the first, but it was obvious to me that her breasts were all natural. I tipped her with a twenty wrapped around two fives. When she presented me with a nipple to kiss, I nicely used my tongue to caress her nipple instead. She gave me a kiss on the cheek and whispered she hoped to see me later.

The next four dancers were men which most of the crowd were there to enjoy. Teresa the dancer waited till I went to the restroom and came back out to begin introducing her to me. I invited her to sit with us for a drink. I shared I was a man in transition, growing to like men more but yes I did find myself excited by her. She shared we could enjoy each other’s company if I could buy drinks and show some interest in her. She acknowledged herself to be clean but could only warn me of possibilities with others.

Being with Teresa brought feelings up inside about the importance of women being friends now meant more. It also reminded me I was still feeling an attraction for some women in a deeper way. Was Teresa’s pull on me romantic or a more basic pull of being turned on, and how I was to know the difference be it with a woman or a man?

When we got back to the hotel Mom and Barb knew to take me to a lounge not to continue drinking but to continue talking. They were receiving me as a daughter and sister on a journey as a woman. I was growing in new ways.

The next day at 3 pm, I met and visited with Teresa about our friendship and her life. I shared honestly that I was attracted to her but could not pursue a relationship as things were now for either she or myself. I did offer her a scholarship and living stipend to the college I was attending for two years. While we became romantically involved it was not to in our immediate future, as each needed to find their selves. Mom shared openly that she was not sure about my choices and encouraged me to slow down.

Once back at college, Dr. Woods helped me to get a couple of classes change. The change slowed down my work to getting my degree, but they would be helpful in developing more fully as a person and a professional. It would also allow me time to show myself worthy of a master’s degree program.

I saw a medical team to pursue transitioning using hormone and sexual reassignment surgery. The team laughed about how the change came about and it caused them to step back and reconsider moving at the pace we were going. Dr. Woods suggested my male parts be tucked and glued away, with the surgery delayed while hormone therapy and time give me the opportunity to catch up and confirm where I seemed to be going.

I was initially very upset at her suggesting such a delay as I saw it. I emphatically lost my cool and jumped on her case. Susan cooled me down to where the three of us plus my mother were able to talk. Dr. Woods reminded me when she first became my faculty/academic supervisor. “Anne if I did not speak up there would be too great of a chance of you developing in some areas but not more deeply as a woman. If that is what you want you and your Mom could discount my input discounted and seek what you want.”

I looked at Susan and my Mom and I knew Dr. Woods was doing me a favor and not being a roadblock. Susan did ask us to go for a walk and some fresh air, so I could collect my composure to affirm my agreement while Mom expressed appreciation to Dr. Woods for her help in not proceeding too fast.

I also did as Dr. Woods suggested at work and pressed to follow through in making a difference. I utilized Beason’s office staff and we did our homework and researched the financial implications, concerning the growth needs of the Beason Company and its tax and debt implications.

The findings and recommendations would be very beneficial to the company. But such benefits rarely made their way down to general staff. I approached Mr. Briggs with both our findings and my concern. He said it was the reality of the work place. I suggested a different path with reasonable benefits being passed down. Having worked to make the recommendation possible they deserve being compensated.

One of the suggestions I gave will delay the scheduled shut down and retooling of the oldest production line by three months and extended the shutdown by month and half instead of the original month shutdown. It would also take a fair investment into geothermal technology for the company but the project would be far more worthwhile. Reducing utility costs as well as making the company more green friendly. Unfortunately, the idea was the brainchild of Darla but never got beyond her boss’s desk.

The production line would undergo a major improvement instead of retooling an aging assembly line. We showed estimated costs, increase in value, tax benefits, possible grants and utility rebates as well as savings in utility costs. We presented this information first to Mr. Briggs and the VP of plant management. Then we received approval to make the presentation to the corporate CEO and the Board of Directors.

Evelyn the office manager shared, many ideas going through the office pool that individually do not fly, because many of the ideas need integration into the larger system, and incorporated with other ideas before they would make sense and worth pursuing. Egos and the lack of communication were getting in the way of possibilities that were there.

During this time, Susan and I searched, found and sought to buy a large house three blocks further away from the campus. But this neighborhood was fighting university encroachment. The neighborhood association initially saw us as the enemy.

It was a declining neighborhood in danger of losing a nearby school. It could qualify for federal funding but more importantly needed to galvanize the neighborhood, home owners and renters to make improvements and work together to strengthen itself. Instead of a school closing we presented a grant proposal to improve one of the elementary schools within the district.

There were divisions within the community relating to race, ethnic, and economic background. I had remembered where college students investing in a Philadelphia neighborhood helped to turn it around. I could see a number of men were not too impressed when they saw it was two women from the college calling for the neighborhood meeting.

John met the guys as they headed for door, I knew John to recognize him but not by name. John was a blue collar worker at Beason and one of his kids was a patient at East Central Medical Center. “Guys do me a favor and hear them out. I can speak for Anne you owe it to yourself to hear them out.”

We proposed the neighborhood association as non-profit entity apply for a $250-750,000 neighborhood grant enabling renters to become homeowners, owners to replace crumbling foundations, as well as to establish after school programs using the community school, making it economically feasible to keep the school open. We challenged the college to be a good neighbor as well as commercial business to upgrade their presence within the community.

A representative was present for Dean of the College Department of Educational Studies with a funded proposal to provide student teachers and internships to tutor students of this school to better their education whatever their present grades or abilities. Thus it did not designate just those children at one end of the spectrum or the other. It would be a target study, funded for a minimum of seven years.

It was near the end and we were hopefully breaking up the meeting at the end of a very successful night, when one woman stood up saying she needed to speak. “I heard it during the break and it’s a concern of my own that you two women might be lesbians or worse bringing prostitution into our community.”

“Well we are young college women, seeking to learn a lot that will impact the rest of our lives,” Susan said, “and honestly I am not sure if I or if Anne are lesbians, heterosexuals or what. I can assure you, we are not prostitutes nor do we seek to be immoral. Anne is a stronger person of faith than I probably am. But if you ask will I seek to be a good neighbor I can emphatically say yes.”

The woman stood back up and said, “I for one appreciate your honesty and honestly it doesn’t bother me. I appreciate what you two have done tonight and I would not want us to fail going forward. I will be living three doors away to your east and you would be welcome to visit any time.”

John the worker from Beason spoke up, “We have approved as the East Neighborhood Association to act as a non-profit group and to apply for a federal housing grant, but we have not yet approved and welcome these two women to the neighborhood if they should so choose. I would like to move the approval of their purchase and request they be received as association members if and when they do so.”

The neighborhood association seconded the motion and they voted without asking us to step out. We began to weep, turned to hug each other and hesitated for a second to do so. John and Neeta, the soon to be neighbor, joined us in the hug. Someone motioned and the meeting was officially over.

Teresa from the School of Education congratulated us and the Association officers for cutting through the red tape and accomplishing so much. John spoke to me, “My sick daughter experienced a remission from her illness, but she tells me she had and still does see the lights of the angels. What should I think or say?”

“I am sure you are happy for her recovery, and I suspect you have said thanks to the people at the hospital. Your daughter may want you to pray and thank God and the angels for what has happened. …Do you know if she has personally spoken to or heard them?”

“Suzy was wondering if I could invite you to stop, so that she could visit with you.”

“Little Suzy is your daughter. Then I met your wife Carol, she’s a very loving woman, but I don’t remember seeing you there.” John broke into tears and leaned on my shoulder and confessed he had been too afraid to hope again. He was proud that his company was part of the evening, but ashamed and knew he would cry in front of his daughter. He had told and promised his wife that he would be strong around his daughter.

“I am willing to come and visit, but seriously you need to break that promise and let your daughter see how much you love her. Many of the children and Suzy is one of them who wished family could be honest with them that include letting some of the tears show.”

Susan and I stopped at the house we would buy and talked more openly about the possibility of us being lesbian loves. She knew I was seeking Jack and I knew she had multiple guys she was seeing. We decide in the near future we would go to the Velvet Bar but necessarily as a couple.

It was agreed to be on a journey we needed both as individuals and possibly together to pursue things.

Later when I was lying alone in bed I knew I could share my conversation with Darla and my sister-in-law Barb, but I wasn’t sure about Jack. Come Spring break Susan and I started by moving into our house. There were three bedrooms upstairs and the morning after we received a phone call and someone said, “I see you only used one bedroom.”

I said, “Yo creep, you are watching us much too closely; your number will be blocked in the future. If you call again or harass us in any way we will report you to the phone company and the police.”

“Don’t be so upset it is just me, Paul, from your old apartment. I was just joking.”

“Paul, I know who it is,” I said. “Are you in route to Florida or did you really drive by last night?”

“We’re leaving within the hour, but I missed you two and some of the guys were asking if you two are an item,” Paul responded.

“Susan, Paul from our old apartment was watching our house last night… Hang on Paul, Susan would like to give you a piece of her mind,” click. “I’m so pissed; I would like to ransack his rooms to make sure the creep doesn’t take pictures.”

Susan asked if he had left yet for Florida and I told her within the hour they’re to leave. Susan said, “We have a few things to pick up. We can wait until afternoon and check if we want.” She asked me if I were like that as a guy.

“I know some guys do it but when they call and tell you or in some way make it known, I think the guy has a problem.”

Susan lived closer to a big city and had some friends who helped us identify a few GLBT places we could check out. Her friend asked if we wanted some company and we said yes. We openly shared our interest in experiencing the possibility about ourselves. Shelly asked, “If you are interested in each other don’t be surprised that one or both of you find part of the night uncomfortable. My suggestion is to relax and enjoy your selves. Use good judgment but don’t be afraid to say yes or no.

Shelly had us meeting another friend as our first stop. They suggested we sit two to a table as four might be a bit intimidating someone who might want to talk or dance. I was a more than a little nervous wondering what I was doing. Susan and I ordered drinks and took in the crowd. It was a bit after 10 p.m. and a good crowd had gathered. It was definitely a lesbian bar but a number of guys and straight couples and individuals were there.

The first person to ask me for a dance was a guy, to whom I said thanks but no thanks. There was a young woman first at the bar and then at a table alone. Not only did we notice each other but our eyes connected twice. She stood up and looked our way but she hesitated, until I smiled.

She asked to dance and I agreeingly took her hand. Britt too was in college but her senior year at a college in the city. After two dances we went back to her table to visit. She was into the arts more so than me. Instead of seeing these as negative differences, I now saw breathe of character and other things I could enjoy.

Shelly indicated we were going to another place to Britt and I exchanged numbers in info before we left. Susan had danced and visited with others but was interested in moving on. The next spot we joined in with a group that Shelly already knew. The seats were closer and the women near me we a bit more forward.

Tami got familiar enough to ask if I was transitioning or a guy liking to see himself as a girl. She was honest and told Judy I was someone she might be more interested in. Judy and Tami changed places and Tami took more interest in Susan. Judy became more interested as we talked and I was open to the possibility of being a lesbian.

She tried plying me with liquor to relax until I told her it wasn’t necessary. She suggested then I relax and enjoy myself. She informed me I had been in denial about how strongly she had been coming onto me and what I was enjoying. With that she leaned over and gave me a kiss. I knew my options; it was not as though Judy had a hold of me. Her lips were warm, moist and I was indeed attracted to her. I lightly pressed back, turning my head ever so slightly to receive her.

It was a good time as she touched me and I her, though it did not go far for either of us. “You are quite comfortable in your female skin,” she asked? I took it as a compliment as said thanks. She laughed about how I came out and how short of a time I have been publicly dressing as a woman.

“Would you be interested in going to dinner tomorrow night?” Judy said, “It could be with your friend and Judy if they are so interested.” …”It would help you to be out in public as a lesbian to help you see how comfortable you are in being one.” Her thought and logic seemed right and while I liked her, the two women that I was more interested in were Susan or Brittany.

I excused myself and got some air and in a bit of daring and called Brittany about the following day. We would go to an art gallery and then to dinner. It hopefully would be enjoyable as someone could explain to me a bit of what I don’t understand in art.

The night passed and come morning Susan gave me directions to get to Brittany’s home. She suggested if possible please stay all night with Brittany. I packed an overnight bag with the excuse it is always better to be safe than sorry. My kiss good-bye to Susan was a bit sad as I felt her interest in Shelly was rekindled.

Shelly told me, “It isn’t a matter if Susan is lesbian or not but her acceptance of it.” Shelly went on to tell me, “I hope that Susan and you would continue as friends, for you have been good in encouraging her to take her studies seriously. But I do love her and if she acknowledges herself to be a lesbian, I hope it is me and not you she falls in love with.”

Was Susan preparing me for the possibility not only was she a lesbian as I too believed, but that she was falling again in love with Shelly? Mom, Darla and Barb, I am sure would all find it good news as it would give me time to find myself.

I left and it was not very hard finding my way to Brittany’s house. She had not told me she lived at home wither folks. I was not sure if I was to be a girlfriend coming for a date or a friend who was sharing the afternoon and evening. Mrs. Powell answered the door and greeted me warmly.

“My daughter said you met last night and that you agreed to go to either the art museum or to an art exhibit and then out for dinner. So are you an art enthusiast like Brittany?”

“No actually, I am not,” I decided not to try and fake my way through. “I am on spring break and when we crossed paths, I decided to take advantage of someone who was. She was so easy to visit and be comfortable with and seemingly she has a great love and gift for the arts.”

We both sat for a moment and there was an awkward tension. “I am sorry,” Mrs. Powell spoke again breaking the silence, “I don’t mean to be defensive or awkward, but it is nice to meet someone so good looking and sharp that she has befriended. It is hard for me to acknowledge my daughter may be gay. My images of you in my mind were not so flattering.”

“I was at the advantage for appearance and understanding,” I said. “While I wasn’t sure I was hoping she got many of her qualities from you.” I wasn’t intentionally trying to flatter her, but I did hope it served the purpose. Mrs. Powell relaxed and we had a good visit.

Brittany was soon down and she looked even better in the light of day. We chatted with her mother for awhile; I could tell that they hadn’t had light conversation too much recently. Simple things, like a project that Brittany was enjoying were unknown to her mom. Mrs. Powell’s putting together a scrapbook for Brittany on the Powell side of the family delighted Brittany but revealed something of her Mom she had not expected.

We thanked her for the conversation and she was good encouraging us to get going and have a good day. Brittany was joyful as she took my hand and hurried me to the car. She couldn’t believe her mother had shared publicly to another she is a lesbian. She told me the significance as soon as we got in the car and we hugged.

“I thought you weren’t sure if you were a lesbian,” I said.

“I’m not but my mom knows I think I am, and her acceptance takes a lot o pressure off. Does that make some sense to you,” Brittany asked? I shook my head in agreement and gave her a hug.

We were on our way to an art museum when she brought up her mother’s question of us sleeping together tonight. “Susan would like me to stay away from Shelly’s place tonight, but I need to be up front and share something about me.” I looked for a spot to pull off the road to talk; luckily there was a neighborhood park.

I took hold of her hand, “Brittany, I really like you and I would like to continue seeing you but you need to know I am just beginning to transition. I’m sure it’s repulsive to you but I still have my male parts, so I don’t think you would want to be sleeping with me.”

Britt pulled back her hand as I expected, her eyes were looking up to indicate she was thinking. It was the bright smile that followed I was not expecting. She eagerly grabbed my hands and excitedly said, “Do you know what that means? For some lesbians you are a dream come true!” I must have looked like a deer in the headlights. “That means you could probably get me, someone, pregnant and we could be a couple with our own child.”

I did not let go, but I kind of moved back. “I’m not even sure I am a lesbian. I’m not ready to think of a commitment or something like that.”

Britt said, “I’m sorry I don’t me now nor necessarily even us, but it is something you should think of now. If it is still possible, it might not be for long.” Susan once mentioned it and the idea first grossed me out, but I had in fact considered the possibility. I paused and Brittany knew I was thinking something and she paused to see if I would share what I was thinking.

“I wouldn’t even know where to start,” I said though I didn’t mean to say it out loud. Brittany was texting and I was upset. ‘If she telling someone else that is rude; just texting is rude enough.’ I pulled back and let it be known I was upset.

“No, sorry, I didn’t mean to be rude but I had an idea. My god mother is my aunt and she’s a GYN doctor. She can’t treat me but she could check you,” she said.

“I would be embarrassed and I couldn’t afford her anyway,” was my poor excuse for a response.

Britt laughed as the phone went off and she answered and then smiled real big. “My Aunt Madge suggested we top by around 4:30. She said, ‘She always wanted to do something for her niece,’ and told me it would be free.” Britt paused and then said, “But you don’t have too, I understand. I really do, it would be much too quick to decide something like that. I wasn’t thinking the way like I should have. It is just I do have my Aunt Marge and she is a doctor who could do it for you.”

“I don’t think so, but if she doesn’t need to know right now I would think about it. Just don’t get excited or try to push me. I’m stubborn and I could assure you the answer would be no.” We settled down and went onto the art museum and it was nice and different.

I read information like dates and places and could enjoy what was in front of me like usual. Then Britt without telling me how to see it pointed out themes of dark and light, expressions though possibly subtle and seen differently by different people. Some artists had detail that astounded me even if it had been done now, as to way back then.

Some of the children were easily bored and shouldn’t have been there long, while others took longer than some adults. I heard one explain to her mother or aunt something I hadn’t seen. I was around her several times when she did that. I asked the woman, “Is she was what they called a gifted child?”

“I think so, but her parents are open to the idea yet, so I just casually bring her to places that kind of feed her. I’m just an aunt and it has not been helpful to speak up.”

“Why wouldn’t they be,” Britt asked next?

“It would take time, effort and money and they are under the notion that each child and they have three. They think they need to treat each child the same.”

I laughed and then excused myself, “My brothers would have liked that either when I dressed as a girl.” The woman looked at me, “Yes a bit different but the same thought I think.” Brittany gave me a tug and we moved on. We did talk to the woman and her niece another time and generally were close to each other.

We stopped for a snack and to talk about my experience. I hoped we weren’t done, but it was helpful to think and talk. The next part Brittany wanted me to experience without her thoughts, unless I asked particular questions. I agreed but asked, “Should I let your Aunt know if I would like the appointment at 4:30?”

It was just after three when Brittany suggested we leave the museum. I was surprised as I was still finding things interesting. I had the impression it wouldn’t take more than a half hour to get to her Aunt’s office. Brittany gave me directions as we drove and I was surprised when she asked me to pull into the parking lot of a department store.

“You might want a change of panties and some clothes if we are still going out to eat.” Brittany explained that an exam with a gynecologist sometimes begged and change of clothes. I was going to say I was worried more about just being in the waiting room. I said, “It’s probably TMI and I should just step through it or I will change my mind.”

We found some things I liked but Brittany suggested different color and a blouse with a slightly different style. I asked the sales woman and she suggested I try both. She measured me and suggested a different size on the blouses. I liked what Brittany suggested though I would not have chosen it for me. The saleswoman agreed it was a good choice. “You do have good taste in clothes; I just think you will enjoy the look and this outfit flatters you a little better,” she added.

We bought the outfit and a new pair of panties and bra. On our way to the doctor’s office Brittany asked me if I had an extra pair of panties and a bra with me. I was surprised by her question saying, “Yes, I have them in an overnight bag, but why can’t I use what I just bought?”

“It’s sometimes better to wash or rinse new clothes out or they can irritate your skin or chaff you,” she said.

“Susan and Darla have often done that for me, but I didn’t understand why.”

Brittany giggled, “Your Mom would have explained it if she raised you as her little girl. If’s she open to it you might ask her if there are some more things she needs to teach or tell her daughter.” I closed my eyes and hoped I wouldn’t forget to ask and my Mom would say yes.

We got to the Women’s Clinic appointment just on time but it kind of made us late as there are always forms to fill out especially the first visit. Nurse Toni warmly greeted both of us warmly. “Brittany, how is the University going?” “Anne just fill out the form the best you can, and Dr. Powell ‘s nurse will help you with the rest of it.”

I was taken to an exam room and I asked if Britt could come with me. They were accommodating but said there would likely be a time Britt would be asked to leave the room. I smiled noting I was not a little girl and Brittany was not my mother. I was given a woman’s exam cloak to change into which I did and sat up on the exam table.

“Anne, my name is Mary and I am Dr. Marge’s regular nurse. She tells me you are special as are all of her patients, but in a unique way. It is our policy to treat you as any other woman, with the exceptions as your or anyone’s situation requires.” She paused and made sure I was comfortable with her examining me.

She whispered to me, “If it gets uncomfortable to you to have Brittany here, just indicate that and I will kindly ask her to leave. Otherwise I will assume her presence gives you some comfort and will allow her to stay.” Her stethoscope went under my robe and where she held it around or partly on my breasts as she asked me to breathe lightly. She asked me to drop or take off my panties and to sit back down and lay back.

I felt awkward about Brittany being there, but instead of indicating that I asked her to hold my hand if she would. Nurse Mary held up my gown so only she could see as she examined me. When she was done, she calmly asked me to sit up and to wait for Dr. Powell. “Thank you young lady for cooperating and being such a good patient,” she said.

Dr. Powell came smiling and her nurse was with her. She asked Brittany to go to the lounge and allow her to examine and meet with me. “Anne, it is good to meet you and thanks for trusting me to be your doctor. I would like to look at you doing some of what Mary did and a bit more.” During the exam she asked me to lay back and then asked permission to take of my breast forms and gaff.

I told her yes but I had left the solution in my car. She had a solution that worked even better and gently took off both. She continued to examine me and I was surprised how sensitive both my breasts were as well as my penis. I could tell my penis enlarged but did nothing more than become stiff.

She sat me up and said, “I would like to yet some samples: Nurse Mary can draw the blood and I am sure you can easily give me a urine sample. The next question is a bit more delicate: How easy or difficult will it be for you to give me a semen sample?”

“I don’t know, it isn’t as easy as it was and sometimes it doesn’t happen, if you know what I mean?” She smiled and indicated she understood.

“After the blood is drawn and you give us a urine sample I would like to ask you to try and give me a semen sample if possible.” Her tone changed, “Again this is a sensitive area and yours to choose to pursue or not. It is necessary to get a good sample of your sperm, if you want to know the viability of your sperm to impregnate a woman’s egg. Either you could try alone or your friend can seek to help you. It will be up to you what we do.”

She paused and would look casually at me and then away not sure how comfortable I was in making a decision, but knowing that was why we came. I finally spoke up, “I am not sure how she would feel about it, but I don’t think my chances are very good without help.”

“We will need to let her decision be up to her, but it is why the two of you came here today. I think it would be good to give it the best effort possible,” she said and then excused herself. Mary drew the blood samples and gave me the urine cup to give a sample and indicated where to place it.

When I came out Brittany was back in the patient room; “I came in to help you,” she said with a smile. She raised the back of the exam table to I would not quite be fully sitting up. She giggled, “Well I can’t catch it upside down or try to catch it as it flies through the air.” My penis had no trouble getting hard on its own but it took Brittany’s touch and stroking it to cause it to get excited. She had relaxed at times and so did my penis. Luckily, no one came knocking and asking how we were doing.

Brittany changed gloves and this one had an ointment that caused me to get warm and more excited. Brittany however was not only more determined as she stroked me, nibbled on an ear and with her other hand caressed my breasts. While it was no record for manhood, the results were good and Brittany made sure most of it was quickly capture in the jar and it was sealed properly. She and I did the best we could to clean me up before Nurse Mary was back in.

She told us we did quite well and the doctor would be very pleased. Then she asked Brittany to go back out to the waiting room. She had me lay back down and she washed me more thoroughly, dried me off and asked me to put my regular clothes back on. Stating the Doctor had one more patient and then would want to visit with me again.

I was dressed in my new outfit and as I was redoing my makeup and hair, Nurse Mary asked me to follow her into the doctor’s office. She stated I would have time to finish freshening up after my visit with the doctor.

I said, “But it is late and as soon as the doctor visits with me I am sure you want me out the door.”

She smiled and said, “This is a women’s clinic and we see things a bit differently here. It looks like you might be heading out for dinner and even a casual dinner is more important to a woman.”

“I am finding that out to be true for me. Can Britt be in with me during my visit with the doctor?”

“Maybe at the end of your visit, but I believe the doctor wants to talk just with you at first.” She indicated out to someone we were ready for the doctor. It wasn’t long and Dr. Powell came into visit with me.

“First, let me say I am proud of both you and my niece. Today was an important day for you whatever you decide in the future, because now you will likely have a choice. It will take at least a week to ten days to get results and possibly to have them confirmed.”

“I am no expert in the field but it appears you still have the capacity to make healthy sperm and semen. If you want time to think about your possibilities I would suggest that the testosterone blocker not be used at least until I see you again. You should possibly cut back your female hormone regiment a little bit.”

“I believe you are and should continue to move to become a woman to your satisfaction. Whether it is for your own use later if you would like as a lesbian couple to impregnate your wife or to allow your sperm to be used by others you need to consider that option in the near term.”

“If you want to become more fully a woman as was your indication without your male genitals at their present ability; my recommendation would be to harvest healthy sperm in the next two month and have it frozen for future use. I do not urge you to move hastily to have children and become a couple be it with Brittany or another woman. I think you are by your own accounts yet growing and maturing into your new found womanhood.”

“Let me share openly with you your transition will be significant enough. Your being identified as a lesbian would have added challenges and significance. The right choice it would be a beautiful decision. The possibility of you marrying and having children using your sperm to have children could also be a beautiful thing. If you should so decide upon that I would want you and your lover to be more mature than the average couple having children.”

“Would your psyche be ready for your lover to have children and you not? Being a person who matures as a woman you could possibly help nurse a child or children, even some men can and have been helped to be able to lactate and nurse a child. But to do so and enjoy it and your relationship would be better served with a mature person making the decision.”

“I do not know your family situation but Brittany’s family background includes Quakers on the Powell side and Roman Catholics on her mother’s side. It was interesting enough for them as heterosexuals. I honor the decisions you have in the future. But through at least your next visit I am your doctor, if you want to choose another doctor in the future that will be your decision.”

The room became quiet though we talked on a bit. “Dr. Powell, can you guarantee if I stop the testosterone blocker for two months so, I could have some sperm collected and frozen for sometime in the future, I won’t do harm to my being a woman?” Marge smiled and gave me a hug.

“You are in charge of the woman you are becoming and choosing your path will only help you,” Marge whispered as she pulled back. “Let me say, because you are Brittany’s friend I opened my schedule to you and I will cover your appointment costs not covered by insurance. I am however your doctor and as such I do not discuss your being a patient with Brittany or anyone else not on my staff and part of your case.”

“Would it be alright,” I asked, “If Brittany was invited in and we shared just briefly some of what was found and talked about? It would be of help to me that I could talk with her and that she has some understanding.”

We were gone from Dr. Powell’s office by 6:15 and our dinner reservation was not until 8:15 p.m. We drove by the restaurant as well as decided on a good place to park. We walked around, window shopped a bit, and drank some wine as we visited. I thanked Britt for the day. It was nice to get back to discussing art and to get my mind off of me and my appointment.

Yes, I was excited and it remained on my mind, but I did not want it to dominate the evening. Since I had a job and Britt took me to the museum I was treating her to dinner. Eating at a nice restaurant in the city was a revelation for me. It costs about five times what I was use to spending. One time, it was very enjoyable, though I felt I should be able to deduct it as an educational expense.

The night would end or should I say the morning began with us sleeping together. Dr. Marge had fixed my vagina gaff back into place where we left it. My breast forms were back in place for the evening but off for our time together. Dr. Powell shared and I discovered her to be right again, my own breasts would enjoy the experience more.

I was delighting myself in touching Britt and seeing her body respond and the joy as sparkling light upon her face giving way to moans of a deeper pleasure. I was surprised when her fingers lit across my flat stomach to my chest and whirl and cause bumps around the edge of my nipples. I was now feeling as a woman what I had hoped but never expected.

I had experienced that joy before but fooled myself to thinking it was but my imagination and wishful thinking. Brittany saw and understood my surprise, but she had no mercy. She rolled over and first lightly with her lips or tongue, and then their warm damp presence brought me into a height of joy I had not yet known. I wanted her to stop, believing it was more than I could take, but she assured me it was a joy and I would live.

The heat of passion lit my breasts and between my legs, but there it was with a presence I could not see. She lightly stroked above my maleness, seemingly she knew she was exciting me, Anne, in ways I had not experienced. As I relaxed she brought me to a breast to suckle as she stroked my hair and kindly allowed me to remain there.

I woke in the morning to a warm kiss, letting me wake up like I fell asleep in the warm embrace of love…

To be continued…

Please give comments, write to me the author or indicate if you enjoyed the story; I will be very appreciative if you do. And a big thanks for some good help
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