“We did not come to be modest,” I said, “these kids health has been hit hard; our love needs to be beyond us feeling good. We want to be assured this would benefit both floors and show our caring beyond Tuesday night.” With the knowledge, we will not forget and we will be back, Cheryl seems to be well impressed... Heather spoke, “I don’t think they will allow much of your money to go for others...”
Darla, “Anne has a following in our office, we'll help her do what's right... Holding Tracy in my arms, ready to leave. “You’re an angel and not just an elf, aren’t you?”

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Chapter 2 - Giving Back the Gift
 
They have Gwen lay on me for another 20 minutes, hoping that would help the colon to stay in position. It was not a cure-all but allowed the pain medicine to catch up and get ahead of the pain. Gwen did better and her discomfort became mild and her condition would clear up in the coming days. Heather and the therapist asked if I am serious about our being Christmas elves. If so the therapist said, "You should jump on it and have things in place for the Monday/Tuesday after Thanksgiving."
 

 
It was 1:00 a.m. when we got back to the cars and Heather and I went in to see if any others were still around. Jack and Aaron were still there, so we danced until they closed. Jack was looking for a goodnight kiss and to make a date for after Thanksgiving. I didn’t make a date, but as Heather noted I had not said no. She observes that I got into one of the kisses when I thought others were not watching.

When Heather and I reached our cars, she shares that Susan had mentioned I did well as a woman lover. I said, "I am probably tired enough that I would fall to sleep on you, but you are invited to stay with me and see if I would if you wanted." I shower a few minutes before Heather turns up the water pressure enough to keep me awake. And then she steps in with me. I felt bad that I fell quickly into the character of a woman lover, but I had been interested in Heather since we were first together and my body responded.

I was surprised how strong my desire to please and make love with her as Anne was. I was also surprised Heather was able to bring me into an orgasm. It was not the normal response of a guy. We were awake come 5:30 a.m. After we exchanged kisses and cuddled, we decided to get up and enjoy the day together. We wanted to get to know each other. We had breakfast and then went to her place to exercise. I had bought a change of clothes so we could go out.

Heather wanted to do some shopping and I figure I could tag along. I didn't really need anything. Heather was interested in adding more skirts to her wardrobe. She voiced, she was interested in seeing me in a pair of women’s designer jeans. Her dress wardrobe was pretty limited to work clothes and minimal in flattering her figure, with nothing being appropriate for a fun night out. She did get one nice outfit for tonight. I had stayed in form as Anne and found that I enjoy shopping.

Susan met us at the hotel lounge. We had a good evening visiting and listening to the piano bar. We did sing along on a few songs, and the other two remarked on how well I did. I didn’t think I sounded as well as them. Susan shared I had a better voice as Anne than Bob ever had for singing.

Susan took interest in Heather’s story about us being at the hospital with Gwen and Ginger. Susan noted that it did not seem quite in Bob’s character to do that much. She was amused about the possibility of the hospital Christmas parties for children and our being Christmas elves.

I stated I could be a male Christmas elf, but Heather asked how I was going to explain the change to Carol or Gwen if she came. Susan said, "You can't risk hurting the children's feelings. They don't need a time of joy being sabotaged by them not seeing you as Anne.

Monday noon LITCO and Beason Industries announced they had a new product line which would improve employment at both companies and in the surrounding communities. I was contacted by LITCO that I was to go with Darla on Monday afternoon or Tuesday to get my used car. The two companies wanted that wrapped up well before the end of the year.

Darla and Heather had talked and arranged for three cars for me to choose from. They ranged in from $5,000 to 9,000 in value; each would be good for a working college student. They had me pick from a Neon, Precedia and Volkswagen bug. I decided I wanted the white Mazda Precedia but complained each was more of a chick’s car.

They giggled and Heather said, “Why did you choose not to say anything until after it was bought?”
 
 
I worked both Monday and Tuesday since I would be going home and not working over the Thanksgiving break. Evelyn wanted Anne to come Tuesday afternoon which I did. I had been wearing my hair in a ponytail as Bob. I was later informed it looked too clean and well taken care of for most guys.
 
 
I called home on Tuesday telling my folks I had gotten the car and would not need a ride the next day. Mom reminded me to bring all my laundry home as she could teach me how to wash and care for some of it. Mom also said, "I want to go shopping Friday morning with my daughter Anne."

I asked, "Do my dad and brothers know about me?"

She said, "They will after we came home from shopping if not before."

She said, "Your two sisters-in-law already know so that they should keep your brothers in line. I left for home early Wednesday, I got a call on Anne’s phone, but it was from my Mom. I am glad to hear you are bringing your girl things. Susan said you were on your way. Why don’t you turn around before you get too far and bring Susan with you."

I called back to Susan and Susan would quickly pack and come. She needed to be back Saturday evening as her parents would be there Sunday morning.
 
 
My niece was happy to see her Uncle Bob, but notice my complexion, hair, and ears were all different. “My Mom said you are going to dress as Aunt Anne when we go shopping Friday.” Unfortunately one of my brothers heard the comment. Luckily, for now, he thinks she was talking about my friend who might go shopping with the women. I had gotten pulled into shopping with them last year; it was not as a girl, but a package bearer. This year would be different.
 

 
It was Thanksgiving Day between one game and another we sat down for dinner. We had finished the meal and would wait for dessert. The guys wanted to get to watch a game but knew better than to rush away from the table without talking. Kayla had gotten up saying she would be right back.

I did not see her come up behind me and begin to put an earring on me. Without thinking I helped her to finish the process. My dad reacted by asking, how long I had been wearing earrings. Susan spoke up and said, “Since Anne helped LITCO and Beason avoid major problems and to seal the new contracts."

Susan spoke on, "It was Anne’s idea, and she was asked to do what was needed to seal the deal. That included staying as Anne. I am impressed to know her. I hope you will be proud of her.” Dad backed up and said he wanted to hear more, but I should either take the one earring out or put the other in. Kayla and my sisters-in-law were in favor of me wearing both.
 
 
Barb suggests, "The men clear the table then watch TV. We'll stay and give Anne a make-over so everyone can see the finished product. Susan suggested I put on the outfit Darla first got me. I resisted but did not win the argument. We went to a bedroom and I started to change. Because of the time I was taking, Mom knew I needed encouragement. I was bloody scared, even though they were the ones asking me to do it.

I had my bra, panties, pantyhose, and skirt on when mom knocked and came in. Mom said, “From a picture, Susan shared it looks like you have breast forms, why don’t you put them on. I can help brush out your hair and do make-up, though Susan says you can do that fine. We suspect it’s a bit much what we are asking. I suspect the scariest part is going through with it.”

Mom said, “I hope I don’t need to tell you your family loves you. Susan says she saw your feminine side before you did. She says you still deny it’s you.” Mom said, "You just need to take some time and accept yourself changing as you are now if that is you."

I didn’t know why but I actually had brought the breast forms home with me and allowed them to use them in the transformation.

“I heard what you did for that little girl, Gwen. You know that was sweet and special, you should be very proud of yourself.” I was ready to do my make-up and hair when my mom took my brush and said: “It’s time for your make-over young lady.”
 
 
Kayla ran and took my hand; her mother put her hand up to her mouth. All the women smiled. Susan got her make-up kit and the group started in. Mom was doing my hands and nails. They sprayed my hair wet and used some setting gel as they rolled it up to get waves back into my hair.

Barb cleansed my face then started in with concealer and foundation. She said she was upset by how little she had to use. By the time the second game was over so was the make-over. Someone took orders for pie and coffee and we were putting things in place when my dad and brothers were invited back into the dining area.

My Dad and one brother said nothing but stared. One brother was upset, “I couldn’t believe you would do such a thing, plus you shouldn’t have kept it from us.” The other brother sided with Kayla and the women, “Bob is nice, but Anne seems happier as well as beautiful.”
 
 
Mom suggested everyone just sit down and eat their pie, “If you want to talk, talk but show love and respect. I’ve learned that this, in some ways has come on hard and fast for Robert. Yet it’s been there for more years than most of us want to admit. It hasn’t been easy, and I was the one who had put Bob on the spot to show herself off now.”

Dad noticed as Anne I even ate differently. I said that the past two weeks I picked up new mannerisms that came naturally for Anne. I told my brother who was most uncomfortable that I respected and understood how hard it was and would give him room to be himself." I said, "That deep down there were a lot of unsettled feelings in me; I'm not fully sure this is me, but I finally decided I have to find out.”

He asked, “So how does a guy get an outfit like this?”

Susan spoke up, “This is the outfit that started it all: one day he showed up at work and he had a mysterious office gift with the message: ‘I suggest you wait and open this at home.’ Well, Bob said he had a bad day up to that point and he needed to treat himself, so he decided to open it then and there.”

“His desk is in a large office shared with nine women. Several saw the outfit before he could hurry and close it. With the help of the mystery person and me, we talked him into trying it on. The next day they talked him into wearing it for crossover day. He borrowed a pants outfit from me for college and wore this to work.”

“He’s been through six outfits and has been taken out to dinner twice both by women. Anne made several key business presentations. He helped a little girl in the hospital, volunteered to be a Christmas elf, all in rapid succession. His company paid for most of the outfits and bought him a used car, for all he did for them.”
 
 
The doorbell rang, which I answered and a young woman from our church was there asking if Bob was there. I told her he was but that I needed to take a message if possible. She knew our family and that she should have been greeted more warmly.

Then my Mom told me to invite her in, and I realized the dilemma when she asked for Bob again. “You may not believe it but you’re talking to him/her.” She looked and stared at me before she said, “No. …I am sorry but you are prettier than me, plus I kissed you once.”

“Tonight is the first time most have gotten to see Anne, so you are not alone in being surprised,” my sister-in-law Barb said. Laura and I went for a short walk. She was a good friend and I had dated her at least twice.

Laura visited for a while and joked how much she enjoyed such an unexpected evening. Mom suggested we turn in at 10 if we were to be up and out by 6 in the morning at the latest to go shopping. Laura was invited to go along if she wanted. Mom later suggested that Susan and I sleep up in my room tonight. That is if we were both being girls.
 
 
When we got up at 4:00 a.m., I found myself running around in baby doll pajamas, much to the delight of my Mom and Susan. I was glad my Dad and my brother at home were not up yet. I was still in my panties and bra as Barb knocked on the door to my room. I heard she was there and said she could come in.

My back was turned to her as I was putting a dress on over my head. I pulled it down and asked help in zipping it up. When Barb spoke up and said she would be happy to, I was embarrassed big time. She complimented how well I looked and asked if I had chosen my clothes.

We were on our way to the shopping center just before 6:00. Mom had given me some money and a small purse and wallet so I too could buy presents. Susan gave me an envelope from Darla that company provided so I could treat my family this Christmas. We filled my car and I took a load home and then met them at Willows for breakfast.
 
 
My Dad was outside when we got home. He commented on how I looked so much like a girl and very much like my Mom. My neighbor had stuck her head out and I automatically said hello to Helen. She too commented on how much I looked like my Mom.” One of my brothers asked her, “How do you like meeting my sister?”

She looked back at me “O Bob, you are darling.”
 
 
After breakfast, the plan was to go to “Fashion Gardens” downtown. I was afraid about being found out by town people, Mom was anxious to share me at least with Caroline.

She had seen a red holiday dress she wanted me to get and wear now. It was snug and short, but that was by design. It was really cute and such a hot dress belonged on a real girl. Kayla was now along and she enjoyed running her hand along my leg, and up under my skirt all the way to my butt. The other women in the shop thought it was cute and darling, and told me to relax as I was among other women.
 
 
We fixed a meal for the guys in the afternoon, but with thanksgiving and breakfast, we were all filled enough to last the day. My Mom and sisters-in-law ask my weight. The last time I knew I was down to 139 pounds. They escorted me to the bathroom scale which weighed me at 134.

Susan and I went for a late afternoon jog as the temperature was mild. After I showered and redid myself, I sat down to enjoy a football game. A brother and my dad were upset I was still dressed and acting as a girl. I hadn’t intentionally done it but I had remained as Anne.

Don reminded me of my freshman year in high school when I was put as a tackle, though I only weighed 135 pounds at that time. I had gotten up to 150 pounds at college.

Mom called me to another room to hang and fold my clothes. Mom brought out some special hangers that allowed me to clip on my skirts and hang over them with an appropriate top. I had about three outfits hanging and several tops folded when my youngest brother came walking through.

He asked how long I had been cross-dressing. Mom shared quite loudly that probably all of us got into her clothes or make-up more than one time. She said, all of my brothers previously been dressed as girls at least one Halloween or another.
 

 
Heather called Friday evening sharing she had found some nice outfits to wear as elves. She also had it set with the East Central Regional Hospital for us to visit the Pediatric Department Tuesday evening, but the Department Director wanted to meet Saturday at 5:30 if possible.

Heather suggested I come in Anne mode. We would not get away from my house till 2:30 and I needed to take Susan back to our place. It did not leave much time for me to change over. My mother hearing the conversation, "I suggest you stay in girl mode now and drive back as Anne."

I was trying to get out from doing it and actually wanted to back out of the whole Christmas Elf thing. Heather had caught on and shared, "If Anne wanted to back out I want to hear it from Anne."

I told her, "It was time for me to do so and that Anne would stop being tonight."

I was not much fun for Susan to ride back with me. Susan laughed at me a few times and suggested Anne would emerge if not now sometimes. We had arrived back just after 4 pm. so I called Heather and went on over. I tried just making my statement and left. Heather said it was not acceptable. We checked one of the Elf outfits and it was cute, green tights, a short red shorts/skirt combination and red tops of several styles. A matching green top fitted under the red top and down the arms. There were a small red elf hat and white string purse as accessories.

They were cute and would cost each of us just $25. “Now put one on, get into the elf mode and then tell me ‘No’ and it’s over.” I made her promise that it, in fact, would be over when I did it. I even said our friendship would be over if it were not.
 
 
While I was dressing Heather continued to talk and I found myself sharing more than I wanted. “So have you continued to take Darla’s pills?” I didn’t even know she knew about them. I said yes but that was stopping too. “Have you enjoyed the emotions that go along with being Anne? Did you have hips before?”

“What kind of questions are you asking that is what I want to know?” I was dressed as an elf and was now trying to tell Heather, “No, I don’t want to be doing this anymore.”

Heather informed me while I was dressed and into elf mode, we needed to drive around and look at Christmas lights. She handed me a light coat and we went for a drive. Within 15 minutes we arrived at EC Regional Hospital and were going in.

This is going to be messy me having to say no in front of the Director. Heather assured me things were set in motion and if they agreed it would be done with or without me. Another elf was there as well, it was Darla with Ginger. Ginger came on strong about how well Gwen was doing.
 
 
Cheryl, the Director, took us on a tour of the two floors. She said that "We would get most of their attention. From four to twelve-year-old children were there. There were well over thirty children and another 15 that would likely be there come Tuesday evening. That would mean if 5-7 of you were talking to the kids that would be 7 to 9 children each that you would be visiting?"

Heather shared, “I hope at least three would be hearing requests and the others would be focusing on being with the children or helping with the festivities the total number of us should be at least 12 people. My attention was caught on a young boy and girl who were sharing a room. I thought they must be siblings, but found out they had become inseparable friends and good medicine for one another.

The girl was improving but the boy had come back sicker this time. He was now bitter to all except his friend. I sought to visit him. He nicely said, "You have a warm heart but other children needed your attention, as you are too late for me." I knew more kids than him were probably terminal. “I will be back here Tuesday to see you and Tracy.” Heather smiled and I simply said to her my last night can come 72 hours later.

Cheryl thanked me, as she understood I was the one to come up with the idea. “I thought the gift of time, listening and that giving that they need more than a guilt offering. I can go the extra mile to help Tuesday.”

Cheryl said, “Even with just modest gifts that would be substantial.”

“We did not come to be modest,” I said, “these kids health has been hit hard, and the love needs to be beyond us feeling good. We need to know that this will benefit both floors and to show our caring beyond Tuesday night.” With the knowledge we would not forget and be back Cheryl seemed to be well impressed.

Heather spoke up, “I don’t think the companies will allow that much of your money to go for others.”

Darla shared, “Anne has a strong following in our office we will help her do what she wants.”

I was holding Tracy in my arms as we were ready to leave. “You’re an angel and not just an elf, aren’t you?”

I smiled, “You young lady are my inspiration, I know Jim is your special friend.” We gave each other a hug and she gave me a kiss. We left and stopped at a diner for coffee and pie. We talked about getting a large screen TV for each floor and three Wii game units and programs.
 
 
Heather talked about one unit for the two floors and a game unit for each floor. And then we talked about hunting around for someone to donate the TV. I told Heather she had to put the corporations out of the decision at this point. If what we did was received well it would either gain support for other years or become sufficient in itself.

If not I promised me alone to be responsible for covering the remaining cost this year. The restaurant owner happened to be within hearing distance and had spotted us elves. He was wondering if something special was in the works.

They wanted to do something special. They asked to take care of our food and substantially give toward the treats costs.

Heather told Darla this was to be Anne’s last night, but I said I’d postponed it 72 hours. Darla spoke up, “So when the clock strikes 10 Tuesday night, does that mean if you are dressed as Anne you will acknowledge you are Anne? I need a babysitter for my two girls on Wednesday. If Anne’s around come 11 p.m. Tuesday I will expect she will be there at our house the next night.”
 
 
I was back in my bed at my apartment, and ready for bed but I could not fall asleep. It was 2:30 a.m. when Susan checked in on me and gave me a goodnight kiss on the forehead. She suggested I take a warm shower and change into a nightgown. I was asleep in thirty minutes after the shower in a nightgown.
 

 
I dressed as Bob and went and bought the six Wii game units. I called the maintenance group at the hospital and asked for two boards to be made for each floor of young people with limited movement. They asked for authorization and I gave them Cheryl’s name.

I was called in by my Department Head at college. He shared he was getting reports that I was instrumental in LITCC and Beason’s recent economic success. He was uncomfortable that there was more than he was being told and shared that there was little to no information on my involvement.

I confided with him about what had happened. He stated my story was quite unbelievable, which seemed to make it plausible knowing me. He suggested if things kept going he would be willing to have my identity changed for the next semester. I promised him that was not needed that I would be back to being Bob after Tuesday night.

He said, “Susan told me I should make it possible for Anne to attend class in my place.”

I told him, “You can do that but you will be wasting your time.”
 
 
Monday came and I went to class. It had become known I had a part in identifying corporate corruption as well as a solution with LITCO and Beason both benefitting. Students were looking at me as an experienced person of note in the business world. Some asked about the other people who helped in the business venture.

I found myself talking about the work of Heather, Darla, and other office staff as well as Anne and their success in what was achieved. I had classes until three Monday but went to work to find out the information for tomorrow night’s event. Mr. Briggs patted me on the back, sharing he had never seen such a response. Some three thousand dollars had been given or promised for what we were doing.

Mr. Briggs said it probably was very humbling for me. He supported my right not to continue as Anne. He said “It will probably be easier the sooner you stop. However, I would like you to come tomorrow as Anne before going to the hospital at night.”

I shared it was my intention as it would be easier to change over for the evening. I wore an outfit that had already been snug and but comes Tuesday it was tighter in some areas. I was pleased that I might again be gaining weight. It was not until evening and dressing as an elf that Ginger notice that my hips appeared to be getting larger. I told her I was just gaining some weight which was okay.

She told me, "Watch for guys the wight usually showed up in their gut and elsewhere. Five of us elves were asked to wear a garland of tinsel shaped like a halo in our hair. We would be Santa’s listeners. They gave us phone/ear sets to help record the requests we heard. We ate lightly before finishing our make-up. When I saw how beautiful the others looked, I got goosebumps thinking I was one of them.

I thought about how precious and special we could make the children feel. I knew if I were an 8 or ten-year-old boy being helped, I would feel warm inside. It made us feel good and I was getting excited about what we were doing. I was hoping and believing more strongly that I could touch Jim’s heart. We were told not to make promises, but to extend love and hope.

The nurses and medical staff were mixed in their reception of us. Most were very warm, but some encouraged us by saying “make sure you deliver on the hope you are expressing”. We brought in food for those who could partake. Treats of various kinds were there so well over 85 percent had something they could enjoy. The hospital provided something for the others Tracy was out to see us and there were enough of us and enough activities that she did not find me right away.
 
 
None of us knew all the boys and girls with the possible exception of Darla. I did not see her greet one child she could talk to without knowing their name and either their parents or where they lived. Several had lists they would give and share, but I was always interested in what they wanted most and that somehow I could be a special friend. By 8:30 I had heard and visited with nine children and young people and was now back on Jim and Tracy’s floor.

Tracy shared she had talked with an elf but she was happy to share again with me. I learned that it was a rare treat for her parents to be able to come for a good visit. She had 5 brothers and sisters and her parents lived over 200 miles away. Their car was older than mine as she had been sick on and off for many years. Mom and Dad had to work and their sick leave had long ago been exhausted.

They were able to come in emergencies but then she couldn’t enjoy them. She hadn’t seen them since Halloween. Tracy was uncomfortable talking about herself, she was worried about Jim. “Jim liked you, I saw him almost smile and his eyes showed he likes you.”

Jim’s parents were there with Jim as Tracy took me by the hand into the room. I saw evidence that other elves had been there, but Jim was a bit angry thinking I had not come. I told him I was no more special than the others who had already been to his room, and like them, I cared deeply about him.

Jim stressed it was too late and I should give extra attention to Tracy if I liked him. The nurse came in to change Jim’s bed and clothing; one could tell it was overdue. Everyone was excused, but I sought to stay. “I am here to help Jim through this. I have brothers and won’t be offended.” It hurt Jim to be moved, and it was pretty humbling to see him weak and quickly tire from moving around.

The nurse wanted Jim to sit up on the edge of the bed so she could do all that was needed but they were short handed so I held Jim. I could see comfort come to his face as I hugged him. Jim asked for his shoulders and back to be rubbed. Jim was quickly changed while I held him and the bed was changed and cleaned.

The nurse said, “Jim, I will have to come after they leave to rub your back and shoulders.” I asked if it was possible that I could sit behind Jim so I could massage his shoulders and back, as he could not lie on his stomach.

She took me aside and said, “It would not wise, as you would need to stay there a while and Jim might soil you as well as him.”

“But you’re not saying no.”

The nurse said, “It would help Jim but I can’t ask that of you.” I quickly excused myself to go to the bathroom, and then quickly jumped up behind him on his bed.

The head nurse came in and said, “If you stay there you will be there at least one hour as it hurts Jim when we need to move him.” Another nurse shared, "It might be 2 hours and I didn’t think you're going to last 15 minutes."

The Nurse Patti who first warned me, said with a smile, “She already knows, she just wants to help him.”

I had taken a pillow and put it against my front for Jim to lean on. His parents were amused when they came back into the room as there was a good looking elf with him in bed. They took a number of pictures. I sent Tracy to get three other elves.

I began to rub Jim’s shoulders and it was already feeling good, despite the number of knots that needed to be rubbed out, slowly but surely he was feeling better. We double up the pillow so I could rub further down his back. Jim was feeling better but getting angry.

He said, “Quit it, I am not getting better, let me sleep.”

Jim was crying, when I asked: “Jim do you think you are dying or that you are just tired of trying to get well?”

“You’re not supposed to acknowledge I am dying, no one does, but it is happening. I am tired my only joy is Tracy getting better. She didn’t believe but I think she is now getting better.” I did not know it but Jim’s health had been taking turns for the worse. Today as well as the past two days had been rough.

Jim had lost interest in his meals along with the loss of control and ability to get to the bathroom in time. He was having another accident as we talked. “You don’t need to get me anything because I won’t be here. You are probably already sorry you are behind me.” The other elves had arrived, but I needed to speak. “Jim, I am not sorry, I am glad to hug the most special guy I have seen tonight. I don’t know if you will die soon or in seventy years, but I hope I can be a special friend as long as I can.” With that, I gave him a small kiss on his neck and as he turned his head on his cheek.

I turned to the other elves, “I was wondering if it was time to begin caroling and if you could start and end here.” Jim shared he was in chorus and liked to sing. He began to sing and the group joined in. His parents scooted up near the bed and his Mom squeezes his hand and stroked his cheek. Come to the third song, Jim was weakening and the carolers stepped out and moved down the hall.

Jim was angry he couldn’t even do something simple that he liked. I went back to the hugs and rubbing his shoulder. “Will you pray with me?” I was not sure what we should pray about. But I knew he wanted me to pray that he would die.

I asked, “What if I prayed that you could die if that is to be with comfort and dignity…” Jim’s interest picked up, “but I want to be free to pray for healing as well.” He said that wasn’t going to happen, I shared, “I am not God, neither are you.”

So we began, “I am asking God for you to do what you can, whether it is ok or not for Jim to live or die in peace.” Jim stopped me. I told him I am willing to pray about your frustration with God as well as my hope in his love and power.

Jim asked his Mom and Dad if it were okay. I asked for one of the nurses to come and take his vital signs so we knew if there was a change. I asked the nurse if there were any nurses who believed in prayer as well as good medicine.

She said, she and two other nurses on duty believed and prayed often, but she told me one is not Christian.’ We asked for the nurses to be there as well and anyone so spirited. Tracy came into the room worried that something was happening; I asked if she wanted to stay for the prayer. She scooted up next to Jim and me.
 
 
We began again to pray, most were nice until Jim prayed and shared his pain and frustration. I was moved that Tracy wasn’t shocked or upset. I began to pray in agreement with Jim if he wasn’t to get well, but said, I want you God to do what Jim and maybe others did not expect.

“I do not want Jim to be kept alive to stay in bed, but I want your healing to begin and for Jim to get well. I don’t care if it is because of medicine or beyond what we expect. I love Jim and Jim is loved by his parents, these nurses and his friend Tracy. The renewal of Jim’s health would give hope to others on the floor as well as Jim. He has shared his loving and healing spirit with Tracy; I now want you to share yours with him.”

Jim’s Mom began to pray, "I want Jim well but I love Jim whatever happens and I'm sorry that we hadn’t talked about how he was feeling." The prayer lasted another few minutes with one of the nurses and Heather praying at the end.
 
 
I had continued to silently pray behind Jim. I don’t know when but I felt his body relax and grow warm. People had stopped at the door and were wondering what we were doing. Tracy began to sing “When you wish upon a star.” Many of us joined in and it was like a soft-spoken prayer going down the hall.

Someone asked if God would be offended? I said, "it was Tracy’s gift to Jim what was there to be offended about. Others filed out, but I stayed up in bed for another ten minutes. Jim and I both needed to get up and go to the bathroom. His nurse was happy as he had not been upon his own all day.

Jim asked, "A candy cane and a Christmas cookie please." When he got back to his bed, he asked, "Can I also have something to eat even if it were broth or Jello." Someone notice my outfit was soiled so Heather had an extra set of tights and bottom skirt that I changed into.

I wanted to go see a few other children before I headed back to say goodnight to Jim. I thought he and his parents deserved and needed some time alone. It was a bit later and Jim came out in a wheelchair with his parents. The hospital had extended our time until 9:30 but felt a need to get everyone taken care of before the shift changed at 11:00.

Two and a half hours was never so full or went so quickly. It was after 10:00 before I hugged Jim’s parents and gave him a kiss and hug. Tracy waited for me at the door to their room, I picked her up and we were hugging when she whispered, “I told you that I knew you were an angel.”

She told me she knew Jim was getting better. I told her, I hoped she was right and believed in the power of God and her love for him. “I have seen that isn’t always enough, but God heard us this time.” Even the skeptical nurses said they would look forward to our return.
 

 
Heather said I better hurry home as I had less than a half hour to get out of these clothes. Darla said it was not a matter of beating the clock or not. I think we deserve to celebrate before we call it a night. I agreed to go out and most of them already agreed to go. Probably 12 of the seventeen helpers went out, and Darla was the only one I knew that was married. We ended up at a sports bar that had a good crowd for Tuesday night.

Most of them were guys which did not hurt the feelings of our group. I was having a fun talk with Darla when Jack walked up and asked for a dance. I quickly gave my hand to him and was surprised as my heart jumped in seeing him. Seemingly he had filled the jukebox with slow song requests.

He wouldn’t tell me now how he happened to be there but just asked if I was happy or not to see him. I had already finished my first drink and between all that was happening, I felt myself floating in his arms. I was going to slip my hand in his back pocket to squeeze his cheeks, but he had a wallet in one and a checkbook in the other.

But as I drew my hands back up I realized he didn’t have on a belt. My right-hand slips up under his shirt, I found myself again liking the feel of his strong back. I put a hand down the back of his jeans a little ways before I thought better of it. Jack went back with us to hear all we did. Jim was up sharing he needed to leave and get some sleep but wanted to take me out in the future. I said I would, though I had no intention on following through. Darla knew that and took me aside. “If and when you give him a goodnight kiss, you better plan to see him again or you won’t like what I do.”

I told her, “I am not going out with him but I couldn’t say no either.”

“I hear Anne’s been out with Heather and Susan, and I have seen you kiss Jack so you can’t tell me you are not interested or that you can’t please a person.”

“I was with two women who knew who I was and they wanted me as a woman.”

“I think Jack would like your attention just as much, and I think Anne would like being with him. Anne, you have strong feelings as a woman. I am not telling you what you have to do, other than you can’t go out with a lie.”

I asked, “Do you want me to tell him I don’t want to go out with him?”

“I think you better go on the date or tell him you won’t be going out with him.” Jack walked behind me as he needed to go.

He said, “I don’t know what is going on but I need to go and I don’t have your phone number, so if you don’t want to go out just tell me.”

“I do want to go out with you, but I am swinging back and forth. I don’t think I am good for you. I am so surprised at how much I am attracted to you. I know that I would disappoint you.” I started to cry and gave him a kiss that went long and warm. I blurt out, “How about dinner and a dance Thursday night, you can pick me up at work?” He gave me another kiss and as I told him my phone number he was out the door.

“Now that wasn’t hard, was it? You surprised me with your tears and inviting him to take you out.” Darla gave me a hug then asked if I was hot and moist. I asked what she meant. “It’s a girl expression that your panties are hot and moist because he excites you.”

Heather hugged me from the back, “I wouldn’t be surprised if she is; I would be with a hunk like that. We should get her home, she needs her beauty sleep.”

Darla said, “Remember you told Mr. Briggs that Anne would be to work tomorrow and Anne has a date with Jack Thursday, so it looks like Anne is staying around.”

“What is going to happen when he realizes I am a guy?”

Darla gave me a hug, “What are you going to do when you accept you are Anne? You have a date with Jack, you have friends at work and Anne needs to be there for Jim and Tracy before Christmas.” Darla asked if Heather could drive my car to her house. Susan spoke up and said it would be easier for her as she lived in that direction.

Darla took me home and then pushed me into the shower with my elf outfit on. She returned with a nightgown and a pair of panties. "Plan to sleep in tomorrow, as I am not going into work right away and I don’t want to be disturbed."

“Thanks, Darla, I know I am in denial but you did me a favor and Anne appreciates it.”

The nightgown she gave me was satin and caused goosebumps to come over me. I went out for a drink of water and Darla was sitting out reading. With a smile, she asked, “How do you like the nightgown?” She felt the nightgown and then me in it. “It compliments you really well.” I smiled and sat at her feet.

I asked, “Who taught you how to help someone feel like a lady?” Darla smiled and thanked me for the compliment. I began to put my head on her lap but drew back thinking it improper. She patted her lap and I knew it was okay and something we both wanted.

“I don’t know any better than you how this started, but I knew it was right from the start. I didn’t see you as girly, but somehow I did see a woman in you. Bob is not effeminate, but Anne is very much a woman, does that make any sense?”

I said, “I just don’t understand how you saw what I didn’t see and denied with absolute certainty.”

“I think it has been cute, how each line you drew in the sand, was stepped over willingly by you. Anne’s caring for Gwen and Jim, you willing to step into your clothes and into the journey in the midst of other women have all been part of a girl twirling in a dress and so happy with herself.” That was an image I saw, again and again, most nights that Anne had celebrated. I shared with Darla so many thoughts and feelings all the while my head was in her lap and she was stroking my hair. I had seen her do the same with her own girls.

“Would it be alright of me to see you as a mentor or model of someone I should discipline myself to be like? A feminine spirit has infiltrated mine, I am afraid. I have taken to wearing satin and lace, and my heart loves soft touches and has a renewed interest in touching others. I am afraid because I like being a girl; I am fake and not real.”

“Was it fake that you cuddled a sick boy; that a girl’s dream brought happiness to so many children, helpers and nurses? Do you believe that a fake stirred the heart of a man in love who wants to take you to dine.” ...Susan said, Your mother was pleased to meet her daughter and had you together with Susan sharing a bedroom as two women.”

Darla continued, “Part of me wonders what I’ve done encouraging a guy to dress as a woman. But time and again I am in awe of the person and woman I see you be. If it is the same when you are as Bob than by all means take the easier route. You are not some guy trying to be someone you are not. You see yourself with male parts, but you are seeing yourself more and more to be a young woman mind, body, and soul.”

“What do I tell Jack when he seeks to give me a kiss that he is kissing a guy dressed as a woman?”

“Before you tell him or anyone else, you need to decide am I a guy who dresses and acts like a woman now and then; or are you someone becoming a woman and needs to acknowledge that to yourself that you are becoming Anne. It may be moving way too fast…”

I am not sure how long she talked, or how I got to bed, but I remembered to bring tucked in, given a kiss and having a doll put in with me. It was 8:00 a.m. when I stepped out to the kitchen. Rich was late in leaving for work. Seemingly he had gotten up the girls and served them breakfast.

He complimented how good I looked in my nightgown. I hurried off for a robe and hurried back to apologize, but Rick was then gone. Darla spoke with a giggle in her voice, “He comes from a family of sisters and so far has our family; he saw a girl and thought it was cute that she was shy.

Let’s get ready for work; I think the office will be happy to see Anne.” We got Patti off to school and took Cheryl to the child care program at work.
 

 
I was early to work hand had missed a class as the office women were busy talking about last night, as well as filing reports and getting their regular work done. Several enjoyed touching my skirt, commenting on how I look and all that I did. “I didn’t do anything different from the rest of you!”

“You, Darla and Heather inspired us!” …“You were an answer to prayer for Jim and Tracy!” …“And we are excited about going back and giving more love than gifts alone can express!” …“We are not alone; Women at LITCO are friends as well as Elves.” …“A number of us, like wearing skirts again and are proud of our caring nature.”

Ginger spoke up, “Anne, it may not be fair to expect, but some of us were hoping if it was you who came today, that you would continue as Anne. We like Bob a lot and understand that’s you, but we want you to know we think it would be great if you would be Anne.”

I began first to tear then turned away. Ginger came and gave me a hug and soon others were around me. “We are sorry; we don’t mean to hurt your feelings.” Then the tears began to come.

“Please hold me; it’s not that I am offended. You have made me feel as good as Anne. I know it’s silly but…”

“Four weeks ago I would have thought it silly or worse, now I think it would be sad if you weren’t Anne.”

Darla, “You could be our Christmas angel. I know Tracy already thinks you are an angel.”

“But what would LITCO and Upper Valley think? My family thinks it’s a silly college thing that will disappear.”

“Many of us don’t think Anne is going to disappear. If you will accept being Anne, I think those who understand will be happy for you.”

Margo, one of the office staff, asked, “So do you see yourself as Bob a crossdresser, Anne/Bob as a transvestite or Anne becoming a transsexual?”

Another worker said, “I for one am more comfortable if it is a woman who has to fix her mascara and makeup.” Many of us laughed at what she said. Someone asked about the garment bag we carried in, and people again laughed when Darla shared I had a dinner date with Jack tomorrow night.

Heather called asking for Bob but was told they did not know when or if he would be back into work. It took a good moment for Heather to respond. Finally, she was asked if she would be comfortable talking to Anne. When Heather asked why they didn’t just say that Darla took the phone. “We are sorry, but with confidentiality what it is we weren’t sure we could say anything without her/his and his approval.”

My mind was back at Margo’s question, “So do you see yourself as Bob a crossdresser, Anne/Bob as a transvestite or Anne becoming a transsexual?” I pulled Darla and Evelyn into Darla’s office and shared the question. They had me sit down and we visited for well over a half hour with no interruptions. Seemingly some people saw and had talked about this time coming. It was twenty minutes before Heather arrived and joined in the discussion.

One part that spoke to me was Heather saying, “You need to get some perspective: the world did not stop, both of these companies are multi-million dollar corporations and your College has over 3,000 students. You make a pretty woman, but there is always someone prettier and some who will find your flaws. You need to find yourself, come down to earth and get on with life.”

Evelyn patted me on the back, “If that was all that you heard and that sunk in it would be more than enough, young lady.” The others shook their heads and took my hands in agreement.

Mr. Briggs stuck his head into the office and announced, “Beason is comfortable in covering the additional cost of the Hospital Children’s Christmas. Whether LITCO wants to share the full cost or not Beason is willing to do it. Seemingly they heard both from the E.C.R. Hospital and the Philadelphia newspaper.” They are not sure what happened, but some are calling it the Christmas Miracle at Willow Grove.”

“What miracle?” Heather asked me "Hadn’t you answered your phone? I forgot it was on vibrate and being in my purse, it had gone unnoticed.
 
 
I called the hospital but was told they would rather share the news in person. Mr. Briggs asked if he could drive Darla and me to the hospital. I was worried and went directly to Jim and Tracy’s room when we got there. The director of nursing came with a big smile and hug but quietly told me not to say anything.

Jim recognized me as did Tracy and a number of other children. Tracy asked me, “Are we going to continue to feel like this?”

Floor Supervisor Sharon and the Hospital Director of Nursing both shared that the hospital was in an area where they move slowly and cautiously. They began to explain that Jim’s condition has taken a sizable change. I asked and then Darla if it was for better or worse. They shared “It was a very noticeable improvement and the improvement appears to be continuing through at a slower pace.”

I asked, “How will this impact Tracy, I think part of his well being is connected to her.”

Darla called Heather, sharing this is going to complicate and put pressure on Anne…
 

 
Postscript — Characters and Places