Last Christmas, we’re at my parent’s house with both families when Matthias went to his knees to propose to me again. He took off my ring and gave me another that is even more beautiful. “Jeanne Hulme, you know I love you and you know who I am. Will you marry me and be my love for life?” …“I do.” … Matthias and I have bought a home in York. …Most see us as a gay couple and I now see myself as a woman. I am the one most people wonder about in my engagement with Matthias.
It was mid-January and his sister Rebecca Strass was going for a fitting of her wedding gown when I realized our wedding was scheduled way too close to hers. Matthias and I first agreed to push our wedding back to September and since then to April of next year and finally it is set June 22, of next year.
I have been living at the house Matthias bought for us since December, working to make it our home. I’ve remained friends with Jenn and Cara and I continue bumping into friends I grew up or went to school with. While everyone’s surprised I’m now a woman, many are accepting to one degree or another.
I am not the most beautiful woman, though looking like my mom and sister I know I am attractive enough being me. Matthias and I agree that I’m not losing my boy parts for now. I am however using female hormones to help the way I look and feel. It was around February 2nd, a sunny day that I noticed I cast a girlish shadow.
I am home when Connie, a neighbor comes over. “Good, to see you’re Jeanne today. I was wondering if you could come over and watch Katy and Brett? Brett’s sick and I need to pick up some medicine for him as well as to get some groceries.”
I find it interesting how others like Connie are more comfortable with me helping them when I’m in Jeanne mode. I quickly fixed myself and grabbed a coat and go to their house next door. Katy and Brett have come to know me and are comfortable. Katy being four sometimes runs over to visit, hoping to get hot chocolate and cookies. I make chocolate chip and sugar cookies, all others are store bought.
While I enjoy helping with the children a little, I mostly enjoy my visits with neighbors like Connie and others. Connie lightly giggles when she comes back, “I’m enjoying watching as you’ve changed even in the last six weeks. I was afraid when you moved next door what you’d be like… um. I’m still waiting for you to tire of being a woman and leave us.”
I ask, “Are you relaxing and starting to believe I am me and not leaving anytime soon?”
She says, “Yes, you’ve become someone I enjoy seeing and visiting with. Sometime when the kids are well I’d like to go out to lunch with you. I’ve even suggested to Brad that we see if it would be alright if he and I went with you and Matt to the Blue Swan.”
I’m a bit shocked as we’ve seen other straight people come with gay friends. I say, “We like to let our inhibitions down there and be ourselves. I’m not sure you’d like that.”
Connie blushes just lightly, “That is what we’d prefer. I know you’re yourselves here kind of, but we’d like to be better friends and do things together. It hasn’t been that long since we were in college. We are accepting people, but we’re both a bit sheltered. We don’t want to be caught in yesterday’s world.”
Connie changes the discussion, “One of my co-workers who knew you and your family as you and Sheila were growing up. She said, ‘You weren’t gay or girl like growing up, but that you must have changed sometime.’ I didn’t know things like that happen. If you don’t mind my asking, how did you fall in love with Matt so quickly?”
I tell her, “I went to a Halloween party last year with some friends. I was dressed as ‘Little Bo Peep’ at their request and we were having a good time. I had seen Matt before and liked him. But it wasn’t until we danced and I was in his arms that I felt like I was falling in love with him. The next day when I woke up, he was there with me. He proposed and surprisingly I said yes. We slowed that quick pace and found we still are in love with the other.”
“I guess deep down I’ve always been me, Jeanne that is, but every time I tried to surface Jean, society, others pushed me back down. I love Matthias and him loving me makes everything else possible.
I’ve heard a number of women tell me that they actually disliked taking their husband’s cock into their hand or making love in different ways. For me being John it wasn’t much different. But the first time Matt was going in me, it felt warm and like he was really loving me. That makes things that much more beautiful and exciting.”
I notice Connie’s expression and realize I’ve said more than she expected to hear. “I’m sorry…”
She stops me, “Don’t apologize, I just realize you’re a lot like me. I knew I loved Brad quickly and I loved the feelings it gave me. I was sheltered and having him please me or like you say, ‘holding a guy in your hands is a big step. I actually jumped a few times and said ‘eew’ actually worse, the first time his thing squirted on me.” She said, “I can understand the joy of Matt being warm inside of you. It took you sharing before I could see it as normal and beautiful for a guy.”
Matthias and I went that night to another nightspot in Philadelphia. Friends, there still see if they can gross me out. Matt enjoys when we’re there that he can be more open in showing his affections in public. The vast majority of us, like to relax and have a good time.
Philadelphia has a lot of local bands that sound really good. Many with a break could be national performers. Tonight there’s a seven-member group and while they’re straight, like a lot of musicians they test the waters. It is after their midnight set, Randy warms up to Matt and Ginger sits gently in my lap.
She likes that I don’t have on a bra. Her hand is cuddling my breasts as she lays a big wet kiss on me. I give her a hug and then say, “Hey, I usually don’t get this friendly, especially without getting to know you.” I wrapped my arms around her to let her lean against me as we talk.
It is really nice as we talk and both of us warm up. My breasts haven’t grown as much as I’d like yet tonight they’re hot and as her hand slips under my top arousing my breasts. Matthias and I have both limited how and where someone can touch us.
On our way to the coach house at his folks' place we talk. We talk about having two friends like Ginger and Randy. Wondering if we could have a couple like them that we can be sure are clean and won’t be getting in bed with others. Matthias wouldn’t mind relating with another guy nor me with Ginger that could enjoy intimate times with. I am a bit nervous about possibly losing Matthias’ affections. But I’d rather find out before we go much further.
In the LGBT community monogamy isn’t desired by all couples as much as in the straight community say they are. But desiring to limit and know who one relates to is important for health and safety.
Matt asks, “Down the road if we could find a donor egg like with Ginger and we use my sperm would you be willing to carry our child?” Needless-to-say the night’s loaded with thoughts that have my head spinning.
It’s nice to cap the night being in bed with Matt and having him making love to me several times in a number of ways. Morning comes too early as Matt’s sister and sister-in-law called, waking me up to go shopping. Becky’s insisting I go as she now wants me to be a bridesmaid. Claudia is with child and will be in her sixth month come to Rebecca’s wedding. The nice thing is that all the bridesmaids’ dresses are going to be long flowing georgette gowns. Ones that a woman can actually enjoy wearing again on other occasions in society.
This is not to be as simple or inexpensive as going to a regular specialty store. Rebecca’s in society and though my gown is pale in comparison to hers, it is to be handmade of expensive satin and lace. Today, I’m measured and I choose the pastel rainbow colors. I am committed to fitting into a slimmer more demanding gown. I’m actually excited about wearing it.
There will be more lunches of diet cottage cheese and pineapple, nutritional diet bars as well as nights nursing one drink.
Ruth Strass, Becky, and Claudia are happy with how they have trained me in the Strass philosophy of philanthropy. I choose a community-based children’s program in Zambia as my international cause; education and support for unwed mothers in Pennsylvania for two others and a youth-based program of young people relating to wildlife for my third.
I quickly figured the costs of things and twenty-five thousand dollars for each cause really won’t go very far. When Matt goes down to see spring training for the Philadelphia Phillies; I go over to Bradenton, Florida and visit the Pirates spring training. The Pittsburg Pirates are closer to the youth program I want to work with. I get a few players and coaches willing to help financially as well as open to relating to the youth in their communities. They’ll host youth visits to nearby state parks and federal reserves along with hosting them at the ballpark. Several of them have friends on Pittsburg’s hockey and football teams who might be willing to help.
Ma Strass informs me, “You need to go to Zambia and to visit the program there and make sure you can work with them.” She helped facilitate a new passport for me. But I needed to make my own connections with the group in Zambia. The group I seek to work with is a faith-related ministry group. My eyes are open to the fact most African faith groups don’t accept the lifestyle of a person like me. I stress they do not have to accept me, but that the financial support I can give could be very helpful. I am firm to tell the leaders, “I do need to personally know the program, speak with people involved in the program, be assured that children are being well treated and know there will be an accounting for the use of our funds.”
It was nice that though they believe differently about me; they were respectful. Ruth Strass was wise in having me come in person. They expressed their thanks that I show a real concern for their children and have not allowed our differences to stop me. Kosa says, “We appreciate that you care about these children and that you do not judge us as a backward, unintelligent people.”
“Many people here have become gravely sick and die with AIDS and malaria. We try not to judge.” They share other programs where parish caretakers, help those who are sick because of a variety of reasons.
I asked, “How do the poor people pay you?” I learn there is little or no paying by many clients. Often their care workers are also poor and share the little they or the church has. There is some government funding, but it does not go far. One named Peter gives me an overturned bucket to sit on. It is the best seat in his dwelling. Peter offered to shake my hand as we visit where he lives; we both know we could be judged by others. But today we are the honored people. Peter says, “I came here to die. I have AIDS and was turned away by family and from my home. I am growing in strength here and new medicine helps me. They have helped me to get the needed medicine and to take it properly. I have received food and Anna has helped me clean this hut. I no longer see myself as a man who is dying.”
My giving will still be for the children and their education and food if they will receive it. I do give support to Peter and other men and women like him.
Listening to the women and leaders, I am seeking to give enough support for the child care of orphans who are taken into other homes. My support would be for two full-time teachers and food. I hope to raise ongoing support for more. Otherwise good teachers are soon gone to schools that can pay them a good living. It is not about paying them as much as it is paying them enough to afford to stay and teach a whole school year, hopefully, two or more.
Things aren’t changing any for me until I begin to visit and sit with the women in parish nursing programs and support groups for women battling Malaria and AIDS. They are very concerned about children being left without one or both of their parents. It is in my third and final week that I’m invited to come back to Africa. Kosa says they are now wanting to know if I’m willing to make a commitment without them being saddled with a lot of distracting media or hype about who I am.
I call and talk to Matt and we agree to come back in mid-July, their cool and dry season. It would mean two-three weeks of celibacy and live in separate quarters.
Henri is Jewish though not very active in his faith. Ruth is Christian but takes responsibility for observing their family faith customs. Rebecca leans more to her mother’s faith. Joseph Henri and Claudia are stronger then Henri in keeping Jewish traditions. Rebecca’s Wedding is big in society’s way of thinking. A Rabbi and a Christian pastor will do the service together. My helping with the faith group in Africa is of little consequence as long as it is very good, which it is.
Unintentional as it was, the first trip to Africa helped me to exceed my needed weight loss and to slim down for the bridesmaid dress. My breasts have grown but are not where Becky desires except with push-ups. I will be lovely enough in my gown. It was my first great taste of high society and elegant fashion. The dress will be beautiful for others to see and even more elegant for me to wear. I love and enjoy how the georgette style allows a woman, a comfortable airy feeling around her.
After the last fitting, a late lunch and there was some artistic shopping for our home here and at York. I am preparing for a needed night out with Matt. He’s informed me, he had a surprise but keeps it a secret. We’re going to a new nightclub on the west edge of Philadelphia. Rock Revue was again performing and Randy and Ginger are my surprised. Matt had contacted them while I was away. The desire to be together now and then was mutually agreed.
We were to stay in Philly but everyone agreed to go back to the carriage house as Matt did not follow through in reserving rooms.
Ginger and I begin with a late night bubble bath in the large spa tub. I never had the joy of going between a woman’s legs and bringing her into orgasm as another woman. Her way with me is pleasing as well.
Come the Wedding, I enjoyed being in the rehearsal and wedding. Howard, the Groom, wants Matt to be the groomsman to escort me. But Rebecca and the wedding coordinator already determined where each of us were in the procession and elsewhere. Maxwell the Fourth will be the Groomsman escorting me in the wedding and the first official dance of the wedding party.
Come, the end of the wedding and reception and a few drinks; Maxwell feels the need to proclaim to any who will listen to him. “I am happy to announce Jeanne Hulme is my Bridesmaid and without a doubt very much a woman.” I did not understand why he insisted nor why he had me stand next to him during the announcement. But his sweeping me in his arms a giving me a huge kiss made it clear. He was demonstrating his belief.
Howard and Rebecca Jefferson were happy that I did not proclaim otherwise. My parents, as well as the Strasses, apologized for my being embarrassed. I was more offended than embarrassed, but I care for Rebecca too much to make a scene.
Matthias and I had taken dance lessons before the wedding and we enjoy ourselves well into the morning hours. We stayed in the city and once back to our suite; it seems like Matt felt a need to consummate our relationship. I don’t feel I’ll ever tire of making out with him.
We are the ones up early, going with Rebecca and Howard to the Airport. We help with their luggage, and negotiating our way through the airport, and checking in tickets. Matthias paid the difference to put them into first class throughout their honeymoon.
Seemingly the Jefferson’s have more the air of being in high society than an abundance of wealth. If Howard is willing to work and learn the family business. He will have a choice in staying with his father, helping him in their business or joining with the Strass families businesses.
Matthias and I are fairly sure the two of them are deeply in love and Howard’s intelligence, fortunately, rivals Becky’s. She is more outgoing and he’s a little staid.
We are back in York, PA as Matthias has two of the companies he watches over there. One of our companies was negotiating with another company to get their business. Matt's both a good salesman and good at knowing what his manufacturing businesses can do. The production requests will cause Matt’s company to invest in new equipment, but it is an investment that Henri Strass and Matt agree to be a good investment. It will result in twelve additional production jobs at present and an ongoing customer for years to come.
Today, I played the role of additional ears, which was of help. Theresa, one of their officers was in a toilet stall checking on the operational status of a production line of theirs.
After that Matthias spoke forthrightly to them. “We will be willing to invest in your company along with approving a contract. But if we’re to do business we need an agreement that everything will truly work out properly.
Matt at first was willing to buy into ten percent of their company, but updating their production lines and making them reliable will end up giving us between 15-20% of their company. The dominant union they work with was open to reworking the contract. A health benefit with 85% coverage is better than most. Production incentives, with our help, will result in half of the incentives being covered up-front. We know their workers doubt that it will happen. It has been workable for the Strass family production businesses.
The agreement progresses slowly for us, but it was accomplished in six weeks, which was considered quick by many. Retooling the worst of their production line, replacing one antiquated machine and improving its computer hardware helped many minds become believers.
Matthias and I celebrated by taking our neighbors Connie and Brad Richards to eat in Harrisburg as well as a new nightspot there. We have been to the Bent Straight Tap. Connie and Brad agree the first time was better away from York. We drew a larger group around many tables up to twenty people at times.
We do not personally help others get involved in our community as we do with Brad and Connie, but they enjoyed being with us and getting to know others. I noticed when Brad lost his shirt after being with another man who appeared to be well pleased.
It was now late September and we’re talking about celebrating our second Halloween at the Blue Swan. Jenn and Cara are interested in going with me again. Matt and I plan to go out for dinner first.
They’d likely bring friends; Jennifer might even be engaged by then and bring her betrothed.
Jenn’s agreed to be my maid of honor for my wedding. She’s the first of my friends to relate to me solely as Jeanne.
To be continued…
