Chapter X - Paul

We went right to my room, and put my dress away. I laid on my bed and just looked at mother.

"Why didn't that guy at the mall listen when we said we had boyfriends?"

"Because some men are like that, honey. We can tell them forever that we are taken, and they will say something like, 'yeah you are taken, with me.' It doesn't matter what we say, they just don't seem to care. I did take his picture with my cell as we were walking away from him. The idiot even smiled. I will give this photo to the campus police, in case he comes around here. I think for now though, as long as we are on campus, we're safe."

"I have seen him around campus though. I'm not sure what classes he has, but he does go to school here."

"Then the campus police must know about him. If he tried that with us, then he may have tried it with other women on campus. I'll tell you what, you go and take a nice bubble bath, and I will run this over to the campus police office and let them copy it. I will be right back. Just go and relax for a bit. He isn't going to come into the house."

Mother and I hugged, and she went to give the campus police his picture, and I took out a pair of jeans that had a nice heart on the left back pocket. I got out a powder blue cami, and white underthings. I figured I'd wear my flips, so I didn't need any stockings, or socks.

I took my clothes and my shower caddy with me into the bathroom. I started running the water, and put in some jojobba bubble bath. I looked at my hair, and figured I should wash that too. I turned off the water and lowered myself in to the tub. I used my big bath sponge to run the water over my back and my front. I looked down at my chest and saw that my breasts were developing very well. They were already at a B, and it wouldn't take long before they were Cs. Maybe in a year tho. I sponged all over, and over my hair to get it wet. Then I took the jojoba bubble bath and put some in my hair and massaged it in. The scent was heavenly. I washed my hair again, and then I was done. I let the water out of the tub and rinsed off with the shower head. Just as I stepped out and started patting myself dry, mother came in.

"I gave them the picture and told them what he was doing. They said every officer will have his picture. Mmmm, you smell very pretty. Oh! I forgot to tell you. Bobbie set up an appointment to have your little procedure done, for Friday morning. This way the girls won't be so shy around you. I mean they trust you and everything, but seeing your birth defect, they kinda get a little put off by it. So Bobbie is going to hide it, until we can get your surgeries completed. You have several months to go yet, but you are doing beautifully."

"Thank you mother. Mother, I know I shouldn't be in a hurry, but when I was in the tub, I looked down at my breasts and saw they were developing very well. I was thinking that maybe in another year they could be C's."

"Well, yes they could be. But that would require a little more hormones than what you are taking now. I can ask Bobbie if she can give you hormone shots every so often to help you develop a little faster. But you shouldn't be in a hurry though, because you are developing very well. Of course, you are only eighteen, and some girls your age are only at a B now. If you want to, I can talk to Bobbie. The hormone shots would be every three months, and they are time release hormones. You would still take your regular hormones, and the time release ones will work with your regular ones. So, what do you think?"

"If it will get me a little bigger here (I pointed to my chest), then I'm all for it."

"Of course," she giggled as she was talking, "you do know that these developments don't happen overnight. It takes time to fully develop. Genetic girls sometimes take until in their twenties to fully develop. What we call late bloomers. But if this is what you want, I will have Bobbie schedule your first shot."

"All right. This is what I want."

"All right, and I know why too. You just want to impress Paul."

"How did you ever guess, mother?" We both giggled.

Yes, I wanted to impress Paul, and I wanted him to see me as a very beautiful woman. Oh my gosh! I forgot to call him. I went over to the phone and called Paul. When he answered I said I had to talk to him right away, and would he meet me at the bench outside of the sorority. He said all right, and I waited for him to show up before I went outside. When I saw him by the bench, I went outside to talk to him.

"Paul, mother and I were at the mall today, and this creep came over by us and asked us if we had boyfriends, and while we were saying yes, he said 'now you do', and sat down by us. Mother made an excuse that we needed to go to the ladies room, and we just kept walking out to mother's car. Mother did take a photo of him while we were walking away. Mother said the guy even smiled, thinking it was a keepsake. It is a keepsake all right, in the campus police office. Please come into the sitting room, and I'll get mother. She can show you what he looks like." We went in, and Paul sat down on the settee, and I went to get mother.

"Mother, Paul is downstairs in the sitting room, and I want you to show him that picture of that guy. Maybe he knows him."

"All right dear, let's go and talk to Paul."

We went downstairs, and Paul stood up as we entered the sitting room. "Hello Paul," mother said extending her right hand. Paul took mother's hand and kissed it. He is so chivalrous. "Why thank you, Paul. I have a picture I would like you to look at." Mother showed him the picture.

"Yes, I know this guy. David Kelp. He's not too swift upstairs, and I always wondered how he ever got into college. I'll have a talk with him, and let him know that his picture is going to be plastered all over the campus. I am also going to tell him, because I don't think he knows that you are my girlfriend, that he is to leave you alone. I will tell him that if I hear one complaint from any female on campus, or from an alumni, he and I are going to have wall-to-wall therapy with his head. The campus police already know him though, because he has been given tickets for fighting, and drinking in the public areas of the campus."

"Is he dangerous, I mean around women?"

"No, he just thinks that all girls are out looking for him, because he keeps saying he's the mister right you're all looking for. He'll back off when I talk to him. Mrs. McMillan, I don't like to fight if I don't have to, but I will protect Jean, and you if necessary from guys like David. So now that we have the trash taken care of, how would you and your mother like to join me for dinner? I thought we'd go down to that Italian restaurant on James Avenue."

"That sounds wonderful, Paul. I would love to go to dinner with you and Jean."

"I would love to, too Paul. Mother will you keep Paul company while I get dressed?"

"Yes dear, I would be delighted."

"But, you're already dressed," Paul said.

All I said was, "oh Paul!" Then I giggled.

I went upstairs to get into something that says I am a woman. I picked out my cream colored dress, my cream bra and panty set, and my cream pumps with the two inch heels. I took a pair of thigh stay up stockings, and a cami. Since I already took a nice bath, I took my time and got dressed. I put on my bra and panty set, and just stood there looking in the mirror. Mother said not to be in a hurry to develop, but I was. I'm eighteen and I missed most of my teens as a girl, I wasn't going to miss my twenties. Paul said I was beautiful, but I want him to see me as I should be...ravishing. I sat down at my desk and turned on my makeup mirror. I took out my lavender eye liner, and started to apply it to my upper eye lid. I looked at myself in the mirror as I was putting it on, and I saw my mother staring back at me. Then her words came back to me about not being in a hurry to develop, because I am more developed than some genetic women in their twenties, and I am only eighteen. I then put the eye liner on my lower lid. I took my lavender eye shadow that had the glitter in it, and applied it to my upper eyelid just above the eye liner. I did the same to the other eye, and then I was finished. I still wondered what it would be like if I were a C or even a D cup. I took out my dual foundation powder, and brushed it lightly all over my face. I didn't have any acne, or scars or imperfections on my face, so I only used a light once over. I put my cosmetics back in the kaboodle, and went over to the bed and picked up my dress. I stepped in to the dress, and zipped it half way up, and then I used a hanger to zip it the rest of the way. I sat down and put on my stockings. I rolled one up my left leg, and did the same with the right. I made sure they were on firm, and that there were no runs, and then I stepped in to my pumps.

I looked in the mirror to make sure everything was straight and the way it was supposed to be. Satisfied, I went downstairs. As I sort of floated in to the sitting room, Paul let out one of his wolf whistles. All mother could do was sit there and beam, that her daughter found favor in a nice young man's eyes. Paul came over to me, and I kissed him with the passionate fire in my heart. After we stopped kissing, I took out my compact, and put on my light pink lipstick. I didn't put it on before, because I knew Paul was going to kiss me. After we had come down from cloud nine, Paul held the door for us, and mother and I went out.

Since Paul was taking us out, mother wanted to drive us in her car, but Paul said this was his treat, and we would take his. When we were out on the road, Paul headed toward the restaurant. James Avenue was on the other side of town, so we had about twenty minutes to get there. What we didn't know though, is that Paul had already made reservations for the three of us. So he had already decided to take mother with.

I was wondering why he wanted mother to come with us, and he said that because of her, I was the beautiful lady he fell in love with. I did wonder at times, if mother hadn't been there for me, and agreed to help me, just how would I have gotten this far in so short of a time. Well, I'm here now, and that is all that counts. Paul turned in to the restaurant driveway, and parked a ways from the door. This restaurant was always busy, and it stayed open until midnight. They had the best Italian food in the whole area. A lot of students even went here when they wanted to go to a fancy dining place.

We went in and the Maitre d' seated us in the non-smoking section. He gave us our menus, and told us our waitress would be right with us. She came a few seconds later with three glasses of water. Her name was Emily, and she was young. She said she had seen me on campus, and then noticed my Gamma Delta Phi pin. She said she wanted to pledge but didn't know if a sorority was for her. I told her that she should pledge anyway, because Gamma Delta Phi wasn't just any sorority, but accepted girls from all walks of life, all academic structures, and didn't care if they were a cheerleader or in the chess club or sewing circle. It didn't matter, because if you are a girl, you can pledge Gamma Delta. She said she would think about it. Paul ordered the linguini for all of us, and we said we would take our drinks now. Paul asked if we wanted tea, and we all said that was fine. Emily took our orders, and left. She came back a few minutes later with our tea. We sat there and talked about how we could get Emily to pledge Gamma Delta, and I had an idea.

"Remember when I wanted so much to pledge Gamma Delta, and all I could do was sit on that bench? Well, what if I took Emily on a tour of the house? I mean, she could see how we do things, and see that we have girls from everywhere, and not just cheerleaders either. I don't know why everybody thinks cheerleaders are snobs. Most of the varsity squad lives right at Gamma Delta. So if I took Emily on a tour, maybe she would pledge. Maybe."

"Honey, you are so right. Since she goes to the college, you could find out what classes she is taking. Then you could bring her over to the house. But you let us know when you will be bringing her. I want to make sure all the girls are home. It would have to be some time after classes are over for the evening. Then we can really show her what Gamma Delta is all about. I think we can also set an extra place at dinner too, and then she can ask all of the girls questions about the house and how it is run."

Emily brought our food, and while she was setting it in place I asked her if we could meet for an espresso or cappuccino sometime. She said she would be delighted, and all I had to do was catch her between classes. After she set our orders in front of us, I asked mother if it would violate our house rules if I found out from the registrars office what classes she was in.

"No dear. It would be if you were doing it for some evil purpose, or personal gain for yourself. But this is so we can get a girl to pledge. Of course we would have to think of a very good reason we want that information, because even Gamma Deltas can get fired. So let me see. I think that we will say you are looking for a cousin, and you want to know what classes she is in. The Gamma Deltas all know who you are, so all you have to do is get her last name."

"That sounds like it would even work, mother. I..."

I was cut off by Emily coming by to make sure we were satisfied and if we wanted anything else. Paul asked what kinds of dessert did they have, and Emily recited from memory. Paul ordered himself a slice of Dutch apple pie, and mother and I said we were full. We thanked Emily for such wonderful service, and Paul paid the bill. We asked for a refill on the tea, and we sat there for maybe another twenty minutes talking about how to get Emily to pledge Gamma Delta Phi. After we had a good plan in place, we left the restaurant. After leaving the restaurant and we were on the road, I looked back through the rear window at the restaurant. I shifted back into my seat when Paul reminded me that I should have my seat belt on.

During the ride back to the campus, I couldn't help but think about all the things that happened, and all the things I had learned. Even though we can practice makeup, fashion, and hair techniques, being a woman is a lifetime learning experience. Like a woman who is not married, or has never had a sexual fling, doesn't know what it is like to be a mother, and a mother is constantly learning from the time her child is born, until either she passes or the child passes before her. Learning for everyone is an every day thing.

Emily just has to pledge Gamma Delta, because then she will be a part of something; a sisterhood that has international members. I am proud that I was able to pledge and become a full sister, but I can't just let it end there. I have to make sure that whoever can pledge our house, will be able to. What was it they said to me when I was talking to Kendra? 'You are just another girl pledging our house.'

When we got back to the sorority, mother and I went up to my room, asking Paul to please wait in the sitting room, while I changed. Paul asked if he could have something to drink, and Joy, one of the other girls asked him if would like coffee, tea, soda, milk, or hot cocoa. Because it was just a tad chilly outside, Paul asked if he could have a hot cocoa, if it wasn't to much trouble. Joy said of course, and went to get it. Joy was another native American with pitch black hair, and doe-like brown eyes. She had a very nice figure and her personality could win Miss Congeniality.

We talked a little more about Emily. She was a nice girl, and she needed to belong to something that was real. Gamma Delta was very real in both substance and personality. There was nothing amiss about the girls who belonged to Gamma Delta. The first sorority in the history of any college, anywhere, that accepted a transgendered male-to-female person in their ranks as one of them. That is the best compliment a girl like me can ever get from anyone. Acceptance, love, trust, and friendship, are the tools we build our lives with. All too often we are misunderstood, and are beaten, killed, disowned by our families (well not me, but others), ridiculed without mercy, or thrown in jail on hideous charges.

When will society learn that we are just normal women, in an abnormal body? Oh well, for right now I am accepted, and every Gamma Delta Phi alumni is my sister. That is a very great feeling. So I know how it is to want to belong to something good, but too shy to actually go for it on my own. Emily needed a catalyst, and I was going be that for her. Once she pledges Gamma Delta, she will be able to actually gain a little more self-confidence, and be able to go places and do things, she wouldn't otherwise do. We had made a plan to get her to pledge, but what if I went just a little further than that. I mean, when Emily told us she was thinking about pledging but backed out, then I knew it was just a matter of self-confidence. But how to get her to have self-confidence was another matter. She worked as a waitress to pay for her college tuition. I wonder if she would be interested in selling something on the side; like cosmetics. I wonder though. Avon is popular because of their low prices, Mary Kay is expensive but very good. I wonder if she would be interested in selling either of these. I think I will talk to mother about this. I know she doesn't have the money to get started, but I am very sure that mother will help. Selling cosmetics isn't like selling vacuum cleaners. You don't go door to door, you just seize whatever opportunity you can; in a restaurant, a supermarket, drug store, nail shop, hair salon, where ever you can talk to someone. Mary Kay has a pin you wear for everyone to see. A lot of times this will start a discussion. There are a lot of women who have heard of Mary Kay, but don't have the money to buy it. There are a lot of women who use Avon, because the prices are in their budget. I will have to talk to mother and see if we can't help Emily come out of her shell just a little further.

"Mother, I was just thinking. Emily seems a little shy, and waitressing will give her a little more self-confidence than what she has. But I was wondering if we couldn't help her get into direct selling, like cosmetics. I mean, if she sold cosmetics and actually had to sell herself as well as the product, then she would gain more and more self confidence. I just know she would."

"Slow down, girl. My goodness when you want something, you go right for the juggler. Okay, I will tell you what we will do. We will stick to our original plan. You get her to pledge Gamma Delta Phi, and we will slowly get her into selling whatever, even if it is working a second job. But that may not be wise with her class schedule. Direct selling is her best bet. It not only will help her gain more self-confidence, but will give her a little more spending money, and who knows, maybe even be able to pay her tuition that way too. So that is our plan for right now. She has to pledge Gamma Delta first, then we will go into phase two."

"Thank you, mother," I said, giving her a hug.

I was changed and we went back downstairs. I sat next to Paul, who said he was on his third cup of cocoa, because he didn't know if we were ever coming back. I made a light slap on his shoulder for that remark, and then Paul had a weird idea.

"Jean, Mrs. McMillan, would you ladies like to accompany me to a movie? There is one playing down at the Grand tonight at seven."

"I can't Paul. May I take a rain check? I have to get back home, I have some things I have to do for work for tomorrow. But you two go, and have a very nice time."

"What's playing, Paul? Something I would like?"

"Yes my love, something you would like. This is an old movie, but it keeps getting better and better every time I see it."

"Will you tell me what it is?"

"No. It's a surprise."

I gave that pouty, 'I'm sad' look, and mother said she had to be going. I gave her a hug, and we all went out toward the parking lots. Mother went to her car, and Paul and I went to his. When we got to the Grand, we were a tad early, so we sat in the car, and just talked.

"Paul, why do you love me?" A woman asks herself this over and over in her lifetime, just to reassure herself that her mate actually does love her.

"Why? Because you're a beautiful lady, inside and out. You have morals that a lot of people our age don't. You have manners, and every time somebody does something for you, you always say 'thank you'. You dress properly, and you don't take any lip from anyone. I don't think you have ever been more beautiful than you are right now. You know I was told something once, by someone I know very well. A little girl is just a caterpillar, but a woman is the beautiful butterfly the caterpillar becomes. You my love, are that beautiful butterfly."

"Oh Paul!" I exclaimed, and laid my head on his shoulder.

I just sat there, and reveled in what Paul had said. I know he loves me, but I need to hear it every now and then. I hadn't looked at the marquee when Paul drove into the theater parking lot. He said it was time we were going in, and I dreamily said, 'hmmm, what'. We went in and Paul paid for our tickets, and we went to Cinema 3. As we were walking past the door, I saw it said Lady And The Tramp. The classic Walt Disney movie that never gets stale generation to generation. I love this movie, and the part where Tramp pushes the meatball toward Lady, is just so romantic. We sat in the back row, and when we were seated, I laid my head on Paul's shoulder again. I half watched the movie, and half thought about Emily.

I don't know why Emily is taking up so much of my thoughts though. I think maybe it's because there were others that helped me pledge something I wanted so badly. So Emily may want to pledge, but doesn't think a sorority is for her. We'll have to see. I stopped thinking about her long enough to watch the movie. I loved the ending when all the puppies came running to the door when Scotty came to visit. That was so cute.

When the movie was over, Paul wanted to take me out to eat something. So he said I could pick where ever.

"Paul, you're the big strong man, you pick for us. I'm just a little ole country girl, and I need someone like you to make those big decisions." I giggled and Paul laughed.

"All right princess, we'll go over to Big Boy's. They're open yet."

"All right my knight in shining armor. If that is what you think is best."

I love to play these little romantic games with Paul. I'm the damsel in distress and he is my knight in shining armor that comes to my rescue. It is so delightful to have a best friend as a fiancá¨. Paul drove us to Big Boy's restaurant, where we were told just to find a seat. This late at night they don't have a hostess seat you because there isn't that much business.

We found a seat in the no smoking section, and the waitress brought us our menus and a glass of water each. We ordered sodas, and then we looked at our menus. They have a very good assortment of fatty foods on the menu, so we had to be careful of what we ordered. I ordered the chef's salad, and Paul the double burger combo. I don't know how he keeps from having a heart attack with all the fat he eats. But he probably burns it off when he lifts weights.

We sat and ate slowly, and we talked about things that are going on with us in class, and then I asked him if he had thought of a date for the wedding yet.

"Tell you what, princess. Let's wait until everything you have to do is finally done, and then when you are all healed, we will talk about a wedding date. Is that all right with you, princess?"

"Yes sir knight it is all right with me. I just asked because others want to know, and I basically told them the same thing you just said."

"All right. We'll wait then, but we will set that date for us, and we will be the happiest couple on the face of the earth."

I'm the happiest girl on the face of the earth right now. Everything is going good for me, and I have my best friend for my fiancá¨. What more could a girl ask for?"

"I don't know if she could. But if she could, it would be to have a happy home, and a very nice life of togetherness with her husband."

"I will eat to that." I held up my fork with a little salad on it, and then ate it.

When we were finished with our meals, we tipped the waitress. Paul always believes he has to tip them for their service, even if it is so-so. Then we paid the cashier, and went out to the car. As we got to the car, Paul pulled me close to him, and kissed me for what seemed like forever, and I just melted into his arms. When he stopped kissing me, he took me by the arm, and led me over to my door. He opened the door for me, and waited until I was seated, then he closed the door with an air kiss.

He got into his side and then backed out of the parking space, and drove us to the college. When we got there, he walked me to the door, and waited until I went in. This is a locked sorority, so every sister has a key. I opened the door, and blew him a kiss, which he pretended to catch and put it in his pocket.

"I'm saving that for a rainy day. Good night, kitten. See ya tomorrow."

"Good night my sweet prince. See ya tomorrow."

I blew him another kiss, which he pretended to catch again, but this time jumped a little in the air. I went inside, and sat on the sofa in the sitting room. I thought I was the only one up, but this is a college sorority. Kendra came in and sat down.

"I thought I heard a noise in here. How was your date?"

"It was just divine. I could go on a thousand dates like this with Paul."

"What movie did you see?"

"Uhm, we saw uhm..."

"Don't tell me, you were in seventh heaven, and then you were like out of it until he said the movie was over. Yup, I created a monster."

"Well, what would you do at a movie with a hunk like Paul?"

"The same thing you did." We both giggled.

"Ken, I have something to tell you. We met a waitress today at the Itlaian restaurant on James Avenue. Her name is Emily, and..."

"Oh I know Emily. I tried to get her to pledge here last semester, but she said she didn't know if was right for her."

"Well anyway, mother and I came up with a plan. We will take her on a tour of the house, feigning some kind of excuse to get her here. Then we will take her up to our rooms, and show her how we live. Then we will invite her to stay for dinner, and then she can ask the girls questions about the house if she wants to."

"Whoa girl! I mean, my ears only go so fast, slow down and let them catch up. Now that sounds like a very good plan. I did try to get her to come over, you know for like a visit, but she said she had to study. You know Jean, we can only ask, but can't force them to come over if they don't want to."

"I know Ken, but still, she is a very decent girl, and she needs the confidence that Gamma Delta can give her. She seems like she is shy around others, even at the restaurant I saw that."

"Yes she is shy, and this sorority would do wonders for her, but still, we can only ask."

"Okay, then how do we get her here?"

"You want me to help get her here? I like that you even asked. You know Jean, we can devise many ways to get someone over to the house, whether or not they want to live here is another story."

"I know Ken, but we have to try. I wouldn't be able to sleep right if I knew I could help someone and didn't."

"I knew I was right about you the first time I saw you. The very first time you sat on that stupid old bench, I was watching you. I watched how you sat, moved your arms, brushed your hair away from your face, sat with one leg under you, and when that one got tired, you switched. I watched how you walked when you left. Did you know that you have a natural feminine swivel to your hips? I don't think you ever knew that. But what I saw was a girl. Even though you have a stupid male body, you are all girl. That is why I am very honored to call you my friend, and yes Jean, I will help you get Emily to pledge here."