Chapter XV - Jean's Homecoming Welcome

When we got to the student parking lot, Paul helped me get out of the car, and held my arm in case I stumbled. We walked to the Gamma Delta house, and as we went in, everybody yelled Surprise. There was a banner over the staircase that said Welcome Home Jean in great big letters.

I put my hand over my mouth and said, "oh my god" and I dragged out the word god. I was just blown away by it all. Then Lydia came over a gave me a hug, and said "welcome home, dear." as did everybody else too. There were also streamers and balloons too. They had set up a buffet table in the dining room. After I had noticed all of this and got hugs from everyone, I sat down. I was just so overwhelmed I started crying. Kendra came over and held me until I stopped crying. Julia, who is one of the cheerleaders, and on the pledge committee snapped a picture, and I jumped when the flash went off. Everybody laughed, and I started to get into the excitement of it all.

Mother asked for everyone's attention, and then she started giving a little speech.

"Ladies, and gentleman, Jean is going to need a lot of help in the coming weeks. She will be able to go to class, but if she feels pain and takes a pain pill, then she will be drowsy, and someone is going to have to bring her assignments back here, so she doesn't miss any lessons. On those days she will miss only the lecture, but she can do the work her instructors give her. Jean has had her complete surgeries instead of what we planned to do. So she is now like us physically. If she seems a little touchy and gets moody, that is part of the recovery that she has to go through, so just be patient with her. I just want to thank everyone for being there for her. Thank you."

After mother gave her little speech, Kendra said we should get me something from the buffet table. I was hungry, and when I saw the spread they had laid out, I was just so amazed. They did all of this just for my homecoming. This is a real sisterhood, and I turned to Kendra.

"All of this just because I got out of the hospital?"

"Yes sister Jean, all because you came back to us. I told you that everyone here loves you like the girl you are. Now that you have had your sex reassignment surgery, the others said we should have a party, and that is what we are doing. The guys from the frat house are coming over too, so we can dance. Paul is already here, so you have your partner." We both giggled. "But I want you to know, Jean, that everyone here was all in favor of this. Julia was the one who said we should have a real homecoming, not just another party. Everyone took a vote on it, and it was unanimous."

"I...I, uhm...I..."

"Jean it's all right. You don't have to say anything, just enjoy the party. This is your party anyway. So enjoy it. We did all of this not because we had to, but because we wanted to. Jean, you have not only made history as the first ever male to female transsexual to pledge our house, but since you have joined us, you have also brought honor to our house, because you were just being you. For that, and for everything else you have gone through to get here, this party is for you."

"Thank...wait I should say this to everybody." I went back into the living room, and most everybody was still there. "Excuse me, I have something I would like to say. Thank you all for supporting me and helping me to achieve my dreams. I am really just blown away by all of this. Thank you so much for everything."

There was a deafening applause, and then everybody started congratulating me, and telling me how brave I was for going through everything just to be who I really am. To be honest though, I am not really all that brave, I just needed to pledge my mother's house, and be the girl on the outside that I am on the inside. I looked at this as something that needed to be done anyway. My very gross birth defect is gone, and I am very happy.

Another thing I didn't need was anything done to my voice, because it was still high enough to be a girl's voice, and my face and chin didn't need to be gone over either, as I had my mother's looks and an oval face. I had a beautiful head of hair, and I was going to enjoy messing around with it to see the different styles I could have. I then decided that I didn't eat anything when I was in the dining room, so I went to get something non fattening, and a cup of punch. They had made a banquet just for this day. There were all kinds of sandwiches, and there was salad fixings, as well as coffee, tea, milk, and fruit juice. I took a turkey on rye sandwich and a thing of juice that had a little plastic straw taped to the side. I sat down on a chair by the wall, because the table was so full of food, nobody could sit there anyway. Lily came in a got a sandwich and a thing of punch, then sat in the chair next to me.

"Jean this may sound redundant, but how are you feeling right now?"

"I'm feeling all right. The pain pills are working to keep the pain down, and I feel complete. Now I can go through school and graduate as a physical girl, and not someone who is half and half. When they told me at the hospital they had done the whole srs, I was like 'it's about time'. So I guess now I just have to get my priorities in order."

"Seems to me, Jean, that you have your priorities in order. First of all you wanted so much to pledge this house. You did that. You needed so much to be physically the girl you really are. You have done that. So no matter what you set your mind to, I am sure that you will be able to accomplish it without much trouble at all."

"Thank you, Lily. You have been a very good friend, too, all through this. I am just happy that everyone here supported me."

While we were sitting there talking, someone knocked on the door. Why didn't they use the doorbell? I mean, that's what its there for. I got up and went out into the little hall, and saw Paul's frat brothers being invited in. They were cautioned they had to stay on the first floor, and were not allowed upstairs. They were also cautioned that there would be no drinking of alcohol during the party. They were shown to the living room, and Lydia told them the rest of the rules.

"You are here at our invitation. This is a homecoming for one of our sisters. We asked you to come and join with us in welcoming our sister Jean back home after a very long stay in the hospital. If you are found violating the rules we set down, then you will be asked to leave, and if you don't leave, then the campus police will make you leave, and we do not want that to happen. This is not a booze party, or a sex party. Men are strictly forbidden upstairs, and no drinking alcohol. If you act like gentlemen, you will be treated like gentlemen. That's all I have to say, so enjoy yourself."

Paul was next as he echoed what Lydia had said. Then he introduced me to the entire fraternity as his fiancá¨e, and that as soon as we could, we were getting married. He told them he didn't want them bringing shame on the fraternity by refusing to obey the rules of Gamma Delta Phi, because we were after all, guests in their house. He said thank you, and we went on with the party. Somebody put on the music, and Paul took me in his arms, and we danced, slowly...very slowly.

It's funny though, that while we were dancing what pain I did have, didn't seem to bother me. We kept dancing, and sat out a few songs, and got something to eat, and then we danced some more. By the time that the evening was over, and all the frat brothers had left, I was thoroughly exhausted. I kissed Paul good night and went to my room to get ready for bed. I took my rose scented body wash, my shampoo and the conditioner, my toothpaste and tooth brush, and went to take my shower. I enjoyed this shower immensely because it is a lot better than a sponge bath. After the shower, I put on my nightgown and slippers, and went to get in to bed. Lily came in and said she was surprised that the frat guys had behaved themselves.

"You know something, Lily? I think Paul may have already told them that they needed to otherwise they would bring dishonor to both houses. Guys can be endearing at times. So, I'm really happy that everyone here is my friend. It means so much to me." The tears started flowing again.

She came over and gave me a sisterly hug, and held me until I stopped crying. Then she looked me in the eye, and told me we can never have too many friends. I laid my on my pillow and was fast asleep. I woke up during the night in pain. I got my pain pills and took one. Lily woke up and asked if everything was all right.

"I'm just having some pain, Lily. It will be all right though."

"All right, but remember if you have any problems during the night, just wake me up, and I will help you."

"Thank you, Lily. But these pain pills work very good. I may miss class tomorrow. If I am not up by the time you are, will you bring my assignments? You know what classes I'm in."

"Why yes, Jean, I would be delighted to bring your assignments to you. Now girlfriend, you just rest, and I will talk to your professors, and I am sure they will come over and help you. Jean, you have been through a lot to be who you are, and I for one am very happy to call you my friend, not just my roomy." She got out of her bed, and came over and kissed me on the forehead, and a nice sisterly hug. "Now, I want you to know, that until you are completely healed, you can count on me, as well as the others to help you.

"I have been waiting for you to get back, so I could tell you something. I have asked to be in the four classes that you are in. It is just a good thing you aren't taking remedial courses. That is a lot of work to go through. So, we are classmates as well as roommates and friends. So getting your assignments isn't going to be too difficult. I Think Dr. McClellan wanted to be here tonight, but she had other things she had to take care of. So just remember, everyone here is looking out for you, so if you have to miss class, then we will make sure that we, well I, will bring your assignments. Anyway, I will talk to Dr. McClellan and see if she can't come over to see you. So just rest, and don't worry about getting up for class, because I know these pain pills will keep you drowsy for quite a while. Good night, Jean."

"Good night, Lily, and thanks a lot for everything."

"You are more than welcome. I'm just glad to help. And good night, sweet dreams. Just remember that if you need my help, wake me up."

"I will, good night, Lily, sweet dreams to you too." I laid back down, and I was asleep in no time. But I kept waking up here and there during the night. I didn't want to wake Lily up, because I could actually use the toilet by myself. This is going to be different. Anyway, I felt excruciating pain when I wiped myself. I almost blacked out, and guess who should come in the bathroom...Lily."

"Girl, you need a good horse whipping, and as soon I find a horse you are in deep trouble. What's the idea of coming in here alone? I told you I would help, and I mean that. Let me help you."

"All right, Lily, I promise to let you help me. It's just that I thought I could use the toilet by myself. I didn't want to disturb anybody."

"Disturb, girlfriend, disturb. We are all here to help you, even if it means helping you wipe yourself when you are finished. Remember girlfriend, you have made quite a lot of friends because of the way you are. And now that you are physically female, you are going to make more friends as time goes by."

"I hope so, Lily. I have one more phase maybe two more phases to go yet, then I will be complete. I just can't wait until I don't need these stupid vaginal stents anymore. But I have to use them until the vaginal canal is completely healed."

"All the more reason to let us help you. I am your friend and roomy, and I want you to know that I am here to help, so please girlfriend, disturb me so I can help."

"All right, Lily, I will. I promise. I'm a little wobbly on my feet yet. Will you please help me to our room?"

"I thought you'd never ask."

Lily helped me to the bedroom, by holding onto my arm. When we got in the room, she kept holding onto my arm, until I sat down on the bed. She said good night, and sweet dreams again, and I said the same, and I laid back down. There was a soft knock on the door, and Lily and I said to come in.

"I heard noises in here, so I thought I had better check and see if everything is all right."

"Mother! I thought you were going home."

"No dear, I'm going to be here during the night. I want to be close to you."

"I have already promised Lily that I would ask her to help, if I needed it. Like tonight I felt a very sharp pain when I was wiping myself. I don't know if I screamed or not, but I almost blacked out. That's when Lily came in the bathroom, and gave me lecture five thousand and one. Mother, I am going to sleep a lot easier knowing that you are here."

"Well, Lily can help you if that is what you promised. But, I am just two doors from the bathroom, and Lily don't hesitate to come and get me, if you need help."

"All right Mrs. McMillan, if I need help with Jean, I will come and get you. Jean, you did scream out in pain, and if you don't remember that, you did black out momentarily. But I was there, so you didn't fall or anything. Your mother is serious, Jean, and if I need her help, I am going to go and get her."

"Yes, I know, Lily. Mother thank you for being here for me."

"Oh hush now, and go back to sleep. I know that you won't be awake for class in the morning."

"I asked Lily to bring me my assignments, because I know I won't be able to go to class tomorrow. Lily, would you ask Dr. McClellan to come over for a bit, if she can?"

"Yes Jean, I certainly will. Now, like your mother said, go back to sleep. I'm right here, and so is your mother." She gave me a sisterly hug, and the last thing I saw, was that she was sitting on my bed.

When I woke up, I was the only one in the room, and I had to use the toilet again. I went to see if mother was still here, but she had gone to work. Annette, who just came out of her room, looked quite concerned at me, and asked if I needed help.

"Yes, Annie, I need to use the toilet, and I need a little help because I am very wobbly on my feet."

"Ok Jean, no problem. Come on, I'll help."

Annette was taking nursing courses to be an RN, and she was a sophomore. She is a little taller than me, by maybe a whole inch, and she has sun yellow blonde hair, and wide sky blue eyes. She walks with fluid motions, and she uses her hands quite a bit when she is talking. When I was finished, she helped me back to my room. She covered me up, and I was soon asleep.

I don't know what happened after that, but when I woke up, I had this urge to go again. It was lunch time by then, and mother was sitting in the chair by my desk. When I opened my eyes, I said hello mother, and she asked me how I felt.

"I feel like I need to use the toilet again." She kind of did an inside giggle, and came over and helped me. I needed another pain pill, but that could wait until I was finished. When we got back to my room, mother told me I needed to get dressed, because we were going for a walk outside. She reminded me I needed to walk more and more, each day. This helped in the healing too, she said.

We walked over to the psych building, and knocked on Dr. McClellan's office door. She said to come in, and we sat down in her chairs facing her.

"Jean, you have come a long way, and I am very proud of you. Now, I talked with Bobbie yesterday, and I asked her if she needed any help with you, during your recovery period. She said that she did need some help, because she couldn't be here all the time, because of her office visits and hospital rounds. So I will be helping her. I was asked to do most of the checkups, and fax her how well you are getting along. So I will be over like maybe two or three times a week. Does that sound all right with you, Jean?"

"Yes Cyndi, it's all right with me. I still feel very weak though. But I guess we have to learn to crawl before we can walk."

"A very good way to put it. Yes Jean, you will have to crawl until you get your woman legs underneath you. It is going to be different now that you have had the srs. Your whole center of gravity will be different, and you will find that after you heal, you will walk and sit slightly different than before you had the surgeries. Anyway I am here to help, as I am sure your mother is. Do you have anyone at the house to help?"

"Yes. My roommate Lily will help. She will bring my assignments to me on days I can't make class. Mother is there to help too, and so is the whole house, if I need it."

"Well that's good then. You have plenty of help."

"It's just that I can't help but think I'm being a burden to everyone." I looked down at the floor, and started fidgeting with the hem of my skirt.

"Oh no, Jean!!! Don't ever think that, all right. Honey, if we didn't want to help, you would have never pledged our house, and you certainly would not have had your surgery this soon. But we want to help you, Jean, because you came to us, and made us take a real close look at ourselves. We like to think that we are the sorority that makes a difference in the world, because of how scattered our alumni is. But Jean, we aren't only a one house, one campus sorority. We have houses all over. When you came to us, we really had to rethink our whole reason for being the sorority that we are.

"Are we here to help those that need it, or are we here for our own self importance? When you came here wanting to pledge, we looked at that and several other things too. You were a young lady in need of our help, and we were here to provide it. So you are not a burden to anyone here, and we are more than happy to help you in your life's journey to be the woman you are. You have four very wonderful years here with us, and we are going to prove to you that we are a family, and not just a bunch of women living in the same house.

"Jean, if there is no one around that you can talk to, don't hesitate to come and talk to me. That is what sisters are for. You will find out as you go along, that the reason we pledged this sorority, is because we care, and we want to make a difference. This is our choice, so please, if there is anything you need to talk about, you have sisters all around you, even me. Did you notice that most of the varsity cheerleaders live at Gamma Delta? Do you know why? Because they want to make a difference. I have had several of them come to me and tell me how you were getting along. Even when they gave you the silent treatment, you told Lydia about it. You didn't get angry and violent like a guy would, but kept it to yourself until you told someone.

"We looked at everything you did, and that is why you and the other two pledges were made full sisters, one week early. And stop fidgeting with your skirt." She giggled a bit, then continued. "I will be coming over to the house for the next week, and I will bring tape recordings of our lectures, and what the other students asked, and my answers to those questions. This way you won't miss the lecture either."

"All right, Cyndi, I'll make sure if there is nobody else, and even if there is, I will talk to you too."

"Good girl. Now, I have classes this afternoon, so just go back to the house, and I will see you tonight."

We had a group hug, and mother and I walked back to the Gamma Delta house. This was a good walk, but now I was feeling like my insides were on fire. I told mother I needed a pain pill as soon as I got to my room. After getting into my nightgown, and taking the pill, I laid back down. Mother was telling me that I did good today, and that tomorrow...I didn't hear the rest of it because I was sound asleep.

Kendra woke me up and told me that dinner was being made, and if I could make it, I should go down to the dining room. I got out of bed, and told Kendra I needed a shower, but I was still too sore to do it by myself. I asked her to help me, and she said she would. She grabbed my shower caddy, a towel, my back sponge, and we went to the bathroom. Kendra turned on the shower and got it just right, and I used my perfumed soap I saved for going out with Paul.

After I was finished, I went to my room to get dressed. There was a very nice dress laying at the foot of my bed. Lily wasn't in the room, and I looked at Kendra, who just shrugged her shoulders. The dress was a cream color, and had a scoop neckline, and came to just slightly above my knees. It had lace around the hem and sleeves, and when Kendra zipped it up, it fit perfectly. After I was dressed, I looked at myself in the mirror. I looked like death warmed over twice, so I took out my makeup and applied it. After I was finished, I looked at myself in the mirror, and I still looked raw, but I would pass.

Kendra and I went down to the dining room, just as Lily and Sharon brought out the food. They had made roast beef, with scalloped potatoes, green beans, and bread and butter. There was the usual coffee, tea, milk, and juice. When grace was said, we all sat down, and I was asked by Kerry, another cheerleader, how was my hospital visit. I said boring and everyone laughed. For dessert we had apple crumb cake.

During dinner though, the conversation was about what I had accomplished in such a short time, and what did I envision for my plans after graduation. I told everybody that I had hoped to be a psychotherapist so that I could help others like myself who were confused, or didn't have enough confidence to be who they really are. I told them that there were a lot of transgendered that were still in the proverbial closet, and they needed someone like me to bring them out. Everybody was sincere when they said it didn't look like I was ever in the closet. I told them that there are some like me who have the necessary confidence to be oursleves, regardless of who says different. But there are others that don't have that confidence and that is where a psychotherapist comes in.

I did tell them too, that I am only a freshman now, and that in the next four years I would be formulating my therapy blueprint, and that is what I would follow when I was dealing with someone like me. Of course, I did tell them that I would see other clients who weren't transgendered as well. Before we knew it, somebody had said we had been talking for about three hours. I didn't realize that time could go by so quickly. A lot of the girls had studies to do, and it was going to be a late night for some. I asked Kendra to walk back to my room with me, and make sure I was laying down before she left, and she said okay.

It was ten thirty when I laid down, and it was three in the morning when I woke up. I took another pill, and woke Lily up and asked her to help me to the bathroom. I was feeling a little drowsy still from the pill I took after dinner, but if I was going to go back to sleep, I needed another one so the pain didn't bother me. Lily looked like she was about ready to drop over, but because of the lecture she gave me before, I think she would help even if she was sleepwalking. Lily and I got back to the room, and she made sure I was under the covers before she went and laid back down.

When I woke up I noticed that there was a brown manila envelope on my desk. I opened it up and there was a tape inside with a note.

"Jean, here is the tape of yesterday's lecture. I couldn't get it to you, so I had your mother drop it off. If you have any questions my extension is in your student handbook, in the back. The lessons you are to study is chapters 4, 5, and 6. I will bring today's lecture over about 6:30 tonight. Cyndi."

I put the tape in my recorder, and listened to the lecture. She did another faux interview thing, and I could hear what was going on. This time, it was about how to handle a client that starts asking the therapist questions, and questions his or her credentials to be a therapist.

I started yawning, so I turned off the recorder, and laid back down. In no time I was alseep again. I had another dream about Paul and I at a nice dance where we wore fancy clothes. He was wearing a tux and I was in my peach semi formal. We danced to every selection the band played, and then just when he was going to kiss me, mother nature woke me up. Oh I hate that! I went to the bathroom and did whatever, and went back to bed, but this time I didn't dream.

I woke up the next morning, and felt very wide awake. Lily was getting ready for class, and I had yet to take my shower. I went to knock on mother's door, but she was already gone to work. I went back to my room, and got my shower caddy, and went to take my shower. I had a little pain, but it wasn't bad. I guess I'll have this pain until everything is healed. After my shower, I went back to my room and got out my clothes. I decided that today I was going to try and go to class. I dressed in white under things, red skirt and black blouse combo. I got out a pair of tan stay up thigh highs, and my black pumps. I looked in the mirror and everything was in order. I grabbed my carry all, and headed out to class.

"And just where do you think you are going, missy?"

"Ken! Uhm, I was going to go to class."

"Then let me help you with that carry all. When the doctor says everything is healed, then you can be superwoman, not until."

"Oh, all right."

She took the carry all downstairs for me, and walked me to the psych building. When I walked in the classroom, I got a welcome back from everybody. Dr. Hinckle looked surprised, and asked me if I felt up to a day of classes. I told him that I was, and he started his lecture. During his lecture, he was constantly looking at me, probably to see if I needed to go back to Gamma Delta. But, I finished the class, and then he picked up the phone on his desk and talked to someone.

When I got to Cyndi's class, I was told that she just talked to Dr. Hinckle, and said he was worried about me coming back so soon. I told her that I was feeling fine, and it was about time I got out of bed, and did something. She smiled knowingly, and told me welcome back.

The next three months, I was in and out of pain, but the pain seemed to be less and less. I went to see Bobbie, who told me that everything was healed, but I was to use the stents at night. I was also told that I didn't need any more surgeries, because from what she saw, everything was the way it should be. I was very happy that I was all healed, and that I wouldn't need any more surgeries. So I guess now, I can get on with my life. Not only was I a late bloomer in development, but in becoming the girl I always was. But I am here now, and look out world, there is a new girl in town. Me.