Chapter IV - Getting Ready For The Dance

Mother was standing there taking this all in, and when Paul called me a beautiful woman, mother just had to interject. "Paul that was a very beautiful compliment that you just gave Jean. I know you have been friends for a long time, but what I want to know is, if it came right down to it, would you make Jean your wife?"

"Yes Mrs. McMillan I would, and she wouldn't have to worry about anything. I never knew this then, but when I saw her tonight in that dress, I knew we were destined to be together as a couple. That is why we were best friends for so long, even into college. But now I am not only her best friend, but her boyfriend as well. We are going to be all right, Mrs. McMillan."

"I know you will be, and if you need anything, anything at all, you just have to ask. Jean is my only child, and she deserves everything good in her life. Including you, Paul."

"Thank you, Mrs. McMillan."

The next few days seemed to just fly by. Before we knew it, Friday was here. I had to make sure the clothes I was wearing tomorrow evening were ready. I was going to the beauty parlor to get my hair, nails, and makeup done. But today I needed to get my outfit ready. I took my lavender semi formal dress and moved it to the middle of the closet, so I could grab it without searching for it. I also made sure that my lavender bra and panty set were at the top of the drawer. I looked in the stocking drawer, and I didn't have to worry there. Everything but the stockings was going to be lavender. Darn it! I have to go shopping tomorrow for a pair of lavender pumps. Maybe I can get a pair with a low heel. I called Kendra and asked her if she knew any place where I could get a pair of lavender pumps with a low heel.

"Yes Jean, I know just the place. We can go tomorrow so we're there when they open."

"What time do they open? I mean, tomorrow is Saturday."

"They open right at nine o'clock, and stay open until ten at night."

"All right Kendra, I'll set my alarm for eight so I can be ready on time."

I went to take my shower, bringing my rose nightgown and panty set, my rose slippers, and my rose robe. I went in and decided I would take a bubble bath instead. I poured in a little lavender scent bubble bath, and let the suds foam up.

I brushed my teeth while I was waiting for the tub to fill. When it looked like the mountain of suds was going to run over the edge of the tub, I turned the water off. I got in the tub and just sat there relaxed. I thought about what has happened so far, and in such a short period of time. I enrolled and was accepted at this university, I had always wanted to pledge my mother's sorority, which I have done, and I always needed to be physically female, and now I am on my way to being the girl I should have been, when I was born. My best friend is my boyfriend, and maybe later my fiancá¨. I've been invited to a sorority dance, and my boyfriend is my chaperone. And even mother too. While she keeps saying she doesn't agree with my needing to be female, or wanting to pledge her sorority, she has been helping me right along. I need to ask Kendra about this when I see her.

The water started to get cool, so I washed and then rinsed off the suds with the shower head. And not just any shower head either. This one is a massaging one, that really takes the kinks out of your muscles. I turned off the shower, and got my lotion and powder and put that on. Then I got into my night clothes, and went back to my room, and crawled in bed. Lily was there when I got back to the room.

"Hi Jean, I love that ensemble. It really makes you look pretty,"

"Thanks Lily. Mom got this for me when we went shopping. The dress I'm wearing tomorrow is simply gorgeous."

"May I see it?"

"Yes." I went to the closet and took out my lavender semi formal.

"Oh my gosh, that is beautiful. Did you pick that out, or did your mom?"

"I did. I picked out all of my clothes, but mom paid for them. I don't understand something though."

"Like what, Jean?"

"Well, mother said she doesn't agree with my pledging Gamma Delta Phi, and she doesn't agree with my needing to be the girl I have always been. But yet, she goes out of her way to help me, and make sure my dreams come true. Why is that?"

"Because she loves you, Jean. When Kendra first went out to talk to you, she was bending our ear about you always sitting out there looking so sad and dejected, like you had just lost your best friend, or something. Then she showed us the picture of your mother hanging on the stairwell, and she had an idea. She never knew that is what you wanted too. So when Kendra invited you to the open house, she called your mother to tell her. The sorority keeps records of all past presidents. At every open house, Jean, we would like to have a past president present, so that the pledges can find out about the sorority, and just hob nob. This open house we invited your mother, because Kendra and the rest of us were going to make sure that you could do what you wished for. The reason your mother doesn't agree with you, is because she is afraid something will happen that you will do, or say, and will end up disgracing the name of the sorority. But we assured her that we will do our best to make a lady of you, on our honor as Gamma Deltas. That is why you were assigned this room. I have been elected to show you the ropes, so to speak, and report anything you might do that is out of line. That is what it means to be a pledge here. You aren't the only one either. Every girl who pledges Gamma Delta Phi goes through the same routine.

"But I can see that our fears about you are baseless, because you are a lady, and from what I have seen, will make a very good addition to our sorority. So again, welcome to Gamma Delta Phi, sister."

I had to sit down on my bed. Lily had spelled it out for me, and I was going to make sure that whatever I did, whereever I was, and whomever I was with, I was going to be a lady no matter what. I started crying too, and Lily came over an held me, reassuring me that everything is all right.

I don't know how long Lily had held me, and I don't know how I got under my covers, but when I woke up, I was under them, and then I remembered. I was talking to Lily who had told me everything from start to finish, and I was amazed that Kendra actually knew who I was, even before she talked to me. I will have to talk to her. I had better get up anyway, because I have to go to the salon today, and get ready for tonight. Mother is paying for it all, again. She also paid my first semester's tuition. Oh, uhm what does mother do? She owns her own realty company, and does very well too.

So the first order of business was to get a quick shower in. I used my Dove body wash, and made sure that I washed all over. I patted myself dry, and then put on my lotion and body powder. My clothes for today were simple; an a-line tartan skirt, with a matching shirt, white underthings, and my pumps. The stockings were stay up sheer nylon, and after I was dressed, I made sure that everything was straight, and then I brushed my hair, and put it into a high pony tail.

I went down to the kitchen and made myself one egg (scrambled), one slice of turkey bacon (crisp), one slice of wheat toast, and a glass of milk and one of orange juice. Kendra came in when she smelled the bacon cooking.

"I didn't know you knew how to cook. I was expecting you to ask one of us to make something for you. The others are going to like it when they find out you can cook. We assign one sister for one week to cook the dinner. We have a communal dinner in our dining room at seven each evening. Now we have a new sister who can be added to the list. Jean, you have shown in just a few days how much of a lady you are, and you have made us all proud, even your mother."

"Then why does my mother keep saying she doesn't agree with my choices?"

"The reason is just what I said. I have been told that you are an only child. No parent who loves their only child, will see them out in the cold, just because that child does something the parent doesn't agree with. You're not hurting anyone, even yourself, so I guess she figures that you know what you're doing, or you wouldn't be doing it. She said she taught you to stand up for the things you believe in, and she also said that if you believe in here," she pointed to my heart, "that you are female in your soul, and you so dearly want to pledge her sorority, then she will help you. She did tell us that she is proud of you for standing your ground. She said too that, you achieved everything you set out to do, and women know how to do that. From what I have seen in the last couple of days, you are one strong minded woman, who takes nothing from nobody." She gave me a sisterly hug. "I am very proud to call you my friend." I was still crying, and Kendra just held me to comfort me. "What were you going to do today, your hair appointment isn't until two, and we will probably get back here around six thirty."

"Six thirty? Oh my gosh! Paul is coming at six."

"He'll wait, if he is the man you said he is. Besides, when you walk in that door, he is going to be blown away. Just act like the lady you are, and everything will be just fine. So what are you going to do between now and then?"

"I don't know, I need to get a pair of lavender pumps."

"Oh my gosh! You're right, you even said that last night. Come on sister Jean, we'll take my car."

We walked to the student parking lot, and got into Kendra's car. She drove us into town, and straight to a shoe place called Foot Fashions For The Discriminating Woman. We were able to park near the door somewhat. We went in, and a lady wearing stylish beige pumps with an ankle strap, and two inch heels, a nice beige dress, came up to us. She knew Kendra.

"Kendra, It's so nice to see you. Who's your friend?"

"Hi Molly, this is Jean. She just pledged Gamma Delta and she needs a pair of lavender pumps to go with her outfit for the dance tonight."

"That's right, tonight's the night for the Pledge Dance. Jean, I'm a Gamma Delta too. You will see me at the dance. What is your last name, dear?"

"McMillan, ma'am."

"You're not Jeannette McMillan's daughter?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Well you just come over here, dear, and we will see what we can find." I gave Kendra a very puzzling look.

I followed her over to a chair, and she got out that thing they mesaure your shoe size with, and said eight and a half. She went in the back of the store, and brought out a small cart with about six boxes of shoes on it. She sat down and tried on the first pair, and had me walk around in them a bit. These were beige pumps, with a two inch heel. The next pair was rose colored, and fit like a glove. The third pair was white, and the fourth pair was powder blue. The last two pairs were lavender, and they fit like a glove too. The one pair had a strap across the ankle, and the other was a step in pump. All of the shoes fit perfectly. When I said that I would take the lavender pair with the ankle strap, she looked at me with a coy smile.

"No dear, you will take all of them. Consider this your gift for being strong enough to stand up for who you are. Your mother will be at the dance too, tonight, and she is going to be one of the host chaperones. You see my dear, we may leave college, but we never leave the sorority. We are sisters forever. And as alumni, we still have our full Gamma Delta Phi privileges. We are ladies dear, and we never do anything, or say anything to disgrace the name of Gamma Delta Phi. Now, you take these shoes with my admiration for what you have accomplished in such a short time. The reason I know about you, is because it was in the Gamma Delta Phi Journal. When I read about you, I was wondering how long it would take for you to get around to my store. Well, here you are, and I hope that you do come back again."

"Thank you, ma'am. Thank you for the shoes too."

"Oh it is nothing, especially for another Gamma Delta sister. See you tonight at the dance, dear."

I said thank you again, and Kendra and I left the store with my shoes. "Kendra?"

"Yes, Jean?"

"Why did Molly give me these shoes, and not let me pay for them?"

"The way I hear it is, when Molly was a cheerleader, there was a small kitten on the football field. She ran onto the field and got the poor kitten, before the boys could trample it during play. Molly took it back to the house, and we had a new mascot. We named the kitten Delta. It was a golden striped calico, and it was the most precious thing. So I hear. All the sisters took turns watching out for the kitten. Then when it became a full grown cat, they would make sure there were certain doors to certain rooms that were closed. Anyway, when the president of the house then, had graduated, Molly gave her the cat, and said good luck. Ever since I hear, she has always been giving things away, and not everytime, but here and there, and on the spur of the moment too."

"Oh," was all I could manage to say. "Kendra, what is the Gamma Delta Phi Journal?"

"It is an online journal that is sent to members, and past members of the sorority. We keep everyone posted as to what is going on, what national has handed down to us, and what events of the sorority are going on, and when. Like tonight is the Pledge Dance. All Pledges will be introduced to the sororities, fraternities, other students, faculty, and staff. This is going to be a coming out dance for all the pledges that pledge a sorority, or a fraternity. It is a school function actually, but since we are one of the sororities, we put it in our journal as a sorority function, which it is."

"Does anyone else get to see this journal too?"

"You mean anyone outside of the membership? No. We only send it to the membership, and that includes the alumni of Gamma Delta Phi."

"All right. How long am I going to be in the salon today?"

"Well we had your appointment for this afternoon, for around twoish , because I called ahead, and you are getting the full treatment. I asked for Midge to do your hair, Stella to do your nails and makeup, and June to give you your massage. These ladies are all Gamma Deltas, and that is who I want working on you, so there aren't any misconceptions. After your surgeries are all completed, then we can have non Gamma Deltas work on you. But right now, only Gamma Deltas will work on you. Is that all right?"

"Of course it's all right. Really, I don't care who works on me, as long as I can have it done before the dance." She caught my meaning and we both giggled.

"You are an imp, aren't you. You know, when I saw you on that bench every day sitting there so feminine like, I just thought you were gay. But when I started talking to you, I knew right away you were a woman just waiting to be seen. Well lady, you are not only seen, but you are now one of us. Do you have a middle name Jean?"

"No. Because I was born male, my mother just named me Jean, and she made sure the nurses put Jean with a "J". So I won't have to actually change my name. My gender is something else again. I was born in Iowa, and those people are more stubborn to move than a Missouri mule. Why couldn't I be born in like Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois, or even Indiana? Anywhere other than Iowa. Anyway I tried to send for my birth certificate and have them change the gender on it. I told them in my letter that the gender of male was a mistake, and it really should have been female. They said they need a doctor's certified statement that I am female."

"Is that all? What about your doctor? I hear she is a Gamma Delta too. Do you think that maybe she would give you that certified statement?"

"I can ask mother tonight at the dance. Maybe she can call Dr. Burns and ask her."

"It's worth a try sister Jean."

"Wait! I thought we weren't supposed to do anything to disgrace the name of Gamma Delta Phi. Wouldn't this come under that?"

"Wow! I am impressed sister Jean. No. It doesn't come under that. What we are simply doing is correcting a clerical error. You my dear sister, are nothing but female inside of here," she pointed to my heart. "And because you are female, you have the right to have your correct sex on your birth certificate."

"All right, I'll ask mother and see what she can do."

It was twelve thirty and lunch time. Kendra drove us to the nearby Denny's, where I just had a salad and a cup of tea. Kendra I guess was hungry, because she ordered the salisbury steak dinner, which came with a basket of rolls, breadsticks, and she ordered soup. I took small bites, cutting the bigger pieces of lettuce, and the tomato slices with my knife and fork. When we were finished eating, we sat there a bit, while Kendra and I had another cup of tea.

"You know Jean..."

"Kendra??? That is you. Remember me, I'm Darcy Wilkins mother."

"Of course I remember you. Darcy was my shadow at Gamma Delta when I pledged. How is she doing?"

"She's doing fine, and she said she is coming to the dance tonight. She will be one of the host chaperones."

"Are you coming too, Mrs. Wilkins?"

"Of course, I want to see just what kind of pledges you are growing these days." Kendra and Mrs. Wilkins giggled.

"Mrs. Wilkins, this is Jean McMillan, one of our new pledges."

"Well I must say, dear. I wasn't expecting to meet you until the dance. Stand up sweetie, and let me look at you."

I stood up, and slowly turned for her inspection. I even held out my skirt like I was a model on the runway.

"You look absolutely stunning, my dear. How has she been behaving, Kendra?"

"Like a lady, Mrs. Wilkins. Everything she does is very lady like."

"Well young lady, it was nice to meet you. Is your mother going to be at the dance tonight too?"

"Yes Mrs. Wilkins, she is one of the host chaperones too."

"Well then, I will see all of you there then."

She left and went back to her friends that were sitting a ways from us. Mrs. Annette Wilkins is a fortyish woman, with blonde hair to her shoulders, round, sky blue eyes, and her skirt outfit was casual. She didn't walk with a snooty gait, but her manner was still regal. I asked Kendra about Darcy.

"Darcy Wilkins was assigned as my shadow, just like Lily is yours in the house, and I am yours outside of the house. She introduced me to a lot of people that are Gamma Delta alumni. That is why I know where to go to get things done. Darcy graduated just last year, and is working as a law clerk for an attorney. She wants to go to law school, but she wants to get a little legal experience first. She types the briefs and letters the attorney dictates. If it is something the attorney himself must sign, then she takes it in for his signature, otherwise she uses the signature stamp. You will meet her tonight."

We decided that we were going to go to the mall, and just window shop until it was time for me to go to the salon, which was in the mall. We went from store to store, when a dress in one of the small store windows caught my attention. I told Kendra I wanted to check it out, and we went in. A lady in a casual checked jumper with a powder blue blouse, and stylish black, ankle strap pumps, asked if she could help us.

"Yes, I want to see if you have that miter striped dress in the window, in a size eight."

"They are right over here. We're having a special on them this week. The normal price is forty two dollars, but we are selling it this week for just thirty dollars. That is a twelve dollar savings." We went over and I picked out a size eight. "You can try it on right over there," she said pointing to the changing booths.

I tried the dress on, and stepped out for Kendra's approval. "Girl, you are making me dizzy with those stripes." We giggled. The dress was a two piece set. The stripes on the skirt went one way, and the stripes on the blouse went the opposite way. I looked in the mirror in the changing booth, and sure enough, the stripes looked as though they were moving in a zig zag manner. I took off the dress, and got back into my skirt and blouse, and told the lady that it just isn't for me, but thanks anyway. We went back out into the mall, and continued window shopping.

It was going on two o'clock and we headed for the beauty shop. We had to walk most of the mall, but we got there in five minutes. I signed in at the desk, and the receptionist welcomed us, and then told us to have a seat, and Midge would be right with us. A few minutes later, a woman with brown hair that had shimmering highlights, came over. She introduced herself, and told me to follow her.

"Kendra, aren't you getting ready too?"

"No Midge, I'm just doing a simple set, but this is what Jean wanted, so I brought her over."

"All right Jean, follow me, and we'll get you started."

I followed her to what looked like a barber chair, except this one had flat arm rests. I asked Midge about that.

"That's so you can rest your arm, when they do your manicure and nails. Most nail shops are uncomfortable because they have your wrist over that lumpy thing. But here we believe in our customer's comfort. I understand also that June is going to give you a full body massage. Do me a favor though, after June is finished with your massage, don't fall asleep, or you will definitely miss the dance." We both giggled. If a full body massage can do that, I wondered what took me so long to have one done.

I sat in the chair, and she tilted it all the way back, so that my head was over the sink. Then she dampened my hair, and then put in a conditioner. She said this was to make sure the strands didn't tangle when she washed the hair with the shampoo. She massaged my head with her fingertips, as she washed my hair. It seemed like it was taking forever just to wash my hair. But then she started rinsing it. Stella came over and gave me a manicure, and a pedicure, and then put a light lavender polish on my finger and toenails. She let the first coat dry, and then put on a second coat. She did all of this as Midge was washing my hair. When Stella was finished, Midge was towel drying my hair, but she left it damp. Then she applied more conditioner, and then she started rolling my hair. I had never felt this before, but I knew the results would be worth it. She then took me over to the dryers, and I sat down. She put the dryer head over my head, and turned it on. I sat there for about thirty minutes, and then June came over and turned off the machine.

"Hi Jean, I'm June, and I am going to give you your massage today." The lady sitting next to me said in a surprised voice, 'you're getting a massage!' I just let it go.

I followed June into another room at the back of the salon, and she showed me a dressing booth, and told me to take everything off, except my panties, and put on the robe hanging on the door. When I came out, she told me to lie down flat on my tummy, and we would get started. She didn't do any of that chopping on my back, like you see in the movies. Instead she pushed the muscles in an upward manner. The lotion she used was very aromatic. It smelled like lilacs. Then she used circular motions to soften the muscles even more. After about fifteen minutes, she started on my legs. She did the same thing with both legs, and after an hour, I was completely done. She told me I could get dressed, and when I stood up, my legs felt weak. Like I ran a mile very fast, except the muscles weren't tight, but very loose.

"I see that you have never had a massage like this before. Come on, dear, I'll help you to the changing room."

"I've never had a massage before, at all."

"For heaven's sake, why not?"

"I Just never thought about it."

"Well, don't go to sleep, or you will miss the dance tonight. Being a pledge dear, it is very important that you be there. This dance is for all the pledges."

"Why would I miss the dance, if I took a little nap?"

"Because your muscles are loosened up now, and when people who sleep after a massage, they don't wake up, even if they have an alarm, for at least five or six hours. Some even longer. Jean, it is a pleasure to have met you. Make sure you come back now." We both giggled, and I went back out by Kendra, who let out a wolf whistle. Girls do that too, ya know.

"Girl! Look at you. You look like your going to a debutante ball, or something."

"I am Kendra. I'm going to be the prettiest woman at the dance." We both giggled, and so did June and the recptionist.

I was told that the manicure, pedicure, and the polish was on the house, but I did have to pay for the hair set though. I didn't argue. I got one hundred dollars worth of beauty treatment for free. The hair set only cost sixty five dollars. When I looked at the clock I saw it was already going on six. We had been there for four hours. Wow. We got into Kendra's car, and headed back to the university. She pulled into a space that had the same number as the sticker on the lower part of the driver's side windshield. We got out, and went into the house. I heard a whistle, and looked to see Lily staring straight at me.

"Wow oh wow! Look at you. The caterpillar is now a beautiful butterfly. Jean, you look absolutely stunning. You're going to have to fight the boys off tonight."

"I'm going with Paul. Do I have to dance with the boys if they ask?"

"Well not really. But it shows how gracious of a lady you are, if you do. It also shows that Paul is a gentleman when he allows his charge to dance with other guys. What I would do though, is decline their invitations to dance graciously. By that I mean, just say no thank you, or I'm sorry but Paul asked for this dance. It is not a disgrace to turn down a guy with a white lie. Besides, Paul is not only your boyfriend, but your chaperone as well. So he will be looking out for you."

The door chimes rang, and Lily went to answer it. It was Paul. "Come in, Paul, your butterfly awaits within." I had to giggle.

When Paul saw me, his eyes almost left his head. His eyes got really wide, and his mouth opened like a fish. He walked over to me, and gave me a kiss on my cheek. I told him to have a seat, because we didn't need to leave for the dance until around seven. The dance started at eight, and our places all had our names on them, so it wasn't a fight to get in. Kendra and I went upstairs so we could get ready. I got out my undergarments, my stockings and shoes, and left the dress hanging until I needed to put it on.

I went in the bathroom to run my bath. I took my underthings with me, and Kendra went to get herself ready. I poured in some lavender bubble bath, and let the suds foam up. I got out of my clothes, and sat in the tub, and just relaxed. But then I thought about what they said at the beauty salon about not going to sleep, or I would miss the dance, and the bathtub was not a very good place to fall asleep in, anyway. So I relaxed for a bit, and just let the suds envelope my whole body, except for my head. I didn't want to ruin my hairdo or my makeup. I took a plastic cup that was sitting there, and rinsed the suds off. I patted down, and then I put on some lavender lotion and body powder. I got into my under things, and put my robe on, and went back to get into my gown.

Kendra was already in my room when I got there. "Come on, let's get you in your dress."

She helped me to lower it over my head, and she even zipped up the back. I stepped into my lavender pumps, and it was time to make sure everything was straight, which it was, and now for my entrance for Paul. We walked out of my room, and I started down the stairs very slowly, like I had an ankle length ball gown on. When I got to the bottom of the stairs, Paul stood up, and again his eyes got really wide, and his mouth opened like a fish. He let out a whistle, and then he came over to me, and put a wrist corsage on my left wrist. Then he looked me right in the eyes, not at my chest, when he told me how very pretty I was.

"Jean, I said it once, and I will say it again. Looking at you now, I can see that you were never anything but the girl you are, and I am very proud not only to be your best friend, but your fiancᨠas well. Jean McMillan, when you have your whatever it is you need to have done, will you marry me?"

I didn't know what to say. I looked at Kendra, who just did a 'I don't know a thing' thing. I had to think about this. Everything was going so fast. I have only been a pledge for a few days, and I was immediately invited to a dance, but I have to be chaperoned. Paul accepted my invitation to be my chaperone, then he became my boyfriend, and now he wants to be my fiancá¨. What do I tell him?

"P-Pau-Paul, I uhm, I don't know...what to...say. Everything is moving so fast for me lately. I need time to breathe a little, and think about what you just said. I uhm, I uhm, well I..."

"It's all right sweetheart. You don't have to give me an answer right away, or even today. But I am serious. When everything you need done is completed, I want you to be my wife. We have been best friends for most of our lives, and now I can see why you never wanted to do anything like a boy would do. Because you were never a boy, and now you are a woman; a very pretty woman too. Jean, I don't say things I don't mean, and you know that. So when you are ready to give me an answer, all you have to do is tell me, but in your own good time. In the meantime, let's have fun at the dance tonight."

"All right, Paul. I'll let you know." Then I said we should be going. Paul offered his arm, and I took it, and we walked to the dance.