From My Despair-8
"Terri, are you ready for your showdown?" asked Daddy.

"What do you mean?"

"Chad and Frank have sexually assaulted a girl. Her name is Whitney White."

"DAMN! She and her family moved away because of them."

Grant held me as I experienced a living nightmare of my assault, "Terri. want me there?"

"Yes, but what about...?"

"Thorpe and Reinaldo are now in custody for Grand Theft Auto for stealing that motor home and taking it across the State Line."

We got into Chad's rebuilt Dodge WC54It had everything that we'd need if it took awhile. Grant and Daddy loaded it up while I practiced with the gun at the local range along with a crossbow built for women. By the time that the camper was ready, I'd achieved my goal of bullseyeing the target.

We were able to locate the hidden cabin thanks to Daddy placing a few calls to the local businesses and were there, ahead of the posse. The local L.aw E.nforcement A.gencies had decided to work together to bring in the rapists, but we got there, first.

Chad and Frank were actually sunning themselves just outside of the cabin. I took careful aim with a tranquilizer dart filled with acid and hit them both in the groin, destroying their gonads and penis in a most painful fashion. We left just as the L.E.A. arrived, but I still had one thing left to do, confront them.
[*][*][*]
After they'd been seen to at Bay City General Hospital, I paid them a visit which put Fear into their hearts as their injury would serve as poetic justice.

"TERRI! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?"

"Chad, Frank. I heard through the grapevine about your injury," I sneered.

"Yeah, and who did it, bitch?"

"Why Frank, you have met your attacker.," I laughed.

"Do you now who?"

"Yes, Chad. And if you think about it, you can guess."

"IT WAS YOU!" they exclaimed.

"I will neither confirm, nor deny. But you two now have to deal with something that your injury will cause your notoriety in prison."

"Fat chance, Bitch!" sneered Chad.

"Yeah! we're going into the minimum security level, not with the Lifers," chuckled Frank.

"That may very well be. But that is only for a month at best. THEN you're fair game and are bound to become some Man's Sissy. Hope that you two enjoy it," I said as they quaked in fear.
[*][*][*]
After they'd been seen to at Bay City General Hospital, I paid them a visit which put Fear into their hearts as their injury would serve as poetic justice.

"TERRI! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?"

"Chad, Frank. I heard through the grapevine about your injury," I sneered.

"Yeah, and who did it, bitch?"

"Why Frank, you have met your attacker.," I laughed.

"Do you now who?"

"Yes, Chad. And if you think about it, you can guess."

"IT WAS YOU!" they exclaimed.

"I will neither confirm, nor deny. But you two now have to deal with something that your injury will cause your notoriety in prison."

"Fat chance, Bitch!" sneered Chad.

"Yeah! we're going into the minimum security level, not with the Lifers," chuckled Frank.

"That may very well be. But that is only for a month at best. THEN you're fair game and are bound to become some Man's Sissy. Hope that you two enjoy it," I said as they quaked in fear.
[*][*][*]
As I left, I began to question myself over my recent visit to my tormentors. As a Christian, should I relish their pain, fear and despair over my attack that had unmanned them so thoroughly? Would killing them have been a mercy? Was I even a Christian for wanting to hurt them as I did? Could I be Saved?

Before the attack, I'd been ready to go into the Ministry. Grant as a Pastor, me as a Youth Pastor/Minister of Music with my decided talents in music and Calling into the Ministry. According to Pastor Franks, he would be retiring soon and would vouch for us to start our Ministry at our Home Church.

But now I felt dirty and unclean. In my mind, there was absolutely no way that the lord could accept me into the Ministry. For all of the Love that I felt for Grant, I knew that I was not Wife material, not even Friend material. In my final despair, I was ready to commit suicide until I saw an icon on my computer that broke through my despair and gave me the strength to LIVE, again.

I clicked on the icon and my web page came up, revealing a new document for me to read, http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/23993/you-meant-it-evil . I began to read this most wonderful story about a man who was very much like me. But in this story, he TOTALLY overcame his situation by a final act of LOVE that he did not know would become a BLESSING for so many. All that he knew was that his SACRIFICE was total, and that he'd lost what he'd gained.

Then, from deep within my Soul, I felt my Heart start break free of the most bitter of Winter's ice and snow as bitter tears were released that began purging me of my despair. I saw a meadow of new grass and a perfect
little stone hill by a massive oak tree. On the hill was Jesus, my Lord.

"JESUS?" I asked, to be sure.

"Yes, My Child. It is I, Terri."

I floated over to Him and settled into His lap, "Why am I here?"

"Because you have come through a Tribulation that was almost too much for you to bear. And you were ready to come Home before your Time."

"You mean that I am still Yours?"

"Yes, you Gave your Heart and Soul to Me during Vacation Bible School before you entered the First Grade. And nothing can undo that, My Chid," He gently rebuked me.

"But I deserted You!"

"No, you simply forgot, for a bit."

Then I sang to Him "I Can See Clearly Now" by Johnny Nash

I can see clearly now, the rain is gone,
I can see all obstacles in my way
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind
It’s gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
Sun-Shiny day.

"What can you see?"

"That my fears of being unworthy are me letting my despair control me. When in fact, I can go ahead with my plan to enter the Ministry."

"Exactly."

Then in gratitude, I sang "My Tribute" by Andre Crouch to Him.

How can I say thanks for the things
You have done for me?
Things so undeserved yet You gave
To prove Your love for me
The voices of a million angels
Could not express my gratitude
All that I am, and ever hope to be
I owe it all to Thee

To God be the glory, to God be the glory
To God be the glory for the things He has done
With His blood He has saved me
With His power He has raised me
To God be the glory for the things He has done
Just let me live my life and
Let it be pleasing Lord to Thee
And if I gain any praise, let it go to Calvary
With His blood He has saved me
With His power He has raised me
To God be the glory for the things He has done
[*][*][*]
Next thing I knew, I was back on Earth from my visit to Heaven. I wanted to thank whoever it was that had sent me the story, and my unspoken Prayer was answered.

"I can see by your smile that you liked the story," observed Grant.

I lept up and tackled him a most grateful, full body bear hug that sent us both to the floor, "OOF!" I grunted on impact.

"Can I take it that my Terrikens is alright?"

"Yes, but why?"

"I knew that you were still ready to go to Heaven and end your pain. So, I sent you the story to see if I could rekindle the embers of your Heart before it was too ate," he sighed.

"You could not let me despair of our Love that I was all too ready to leave behind to show you my Love for you."

"Why?"

"In my mind, I was unworthy of your Love. So, I wanted to give you a new chance at Love," I admitted.

"And now?"

I sang "He's Still Working On Me" by Joel Hemphill.

He's still working on me to make me what I ought to be.
It took Him just a week to make the moon and stars,
The sun and the earth and Jupiter and Mars.
How loving and patient He must be, He's still working on me.

He's still working on me to make me what I ought to be.
It took Him just a week to make the moon and stars,
The sun and the earth and Jupiter and Mars.
How loving and patient He must be, He's still working on me.
[*][*][*]
We were married after my surgery which found that I actually had a vaginal canal that the surgery opened up, making me as complete a woman as possible thanks to a renovation that turned a few T-cells into ovaries that turned me into a mother for Grant's Valedictorian Address when we we given our Diplomas where he sang Marty Robins "Cap And Gown"

You'll be so pretty in your cap and gown.
But I'd imagine it's a wedding gown,
On our graduation day.

I love you,
And if my graduation wish comes true,
What I imagine you'd imagine too,
On our graduation day.
[*][*][*]
I have come a long way since that attack and am now serving my Home Church along with Grant and couldn't be any happier as we watch our twin: Stan and Stacy receive their Diplomas.
[*][*][*]
End Of Part Nine
Finis