A Loving family
By
Jacquimac

Pt Five

Freedom

I was 21 when I was eventually released from the mental home,a job and a place to live had been found for me,I now lived in a bedsit and the job in a factory and consisted of sweeping floors and emptying bins.I managed to enrol in nightschool to get my education up to a more acceptable level as I realised that my education was severely lacking.I was quick learner and very soon I had caught up, my tutors suggested that I enrol at the local college to get some qualification so I went along to see what I could what courses I could get.The local college was affiliated to a nearby University and I was told that with hard work I would be able to attain a degree, the problem was as I had been confined for so long I didn`t really know what a normal life was like.I talked to councillor and as I was competative and because of size and build It came down to some sort of office work.After looking at the options we finally decided on business studies with a secretarial course thrown in.they even managed to get me grant and sponsorship from a local business.

It wasn`t easy to hold down job even it was now part-time and study at the same time, but as I didn`t socialise i managed it took me three years gain my qualifications, a degree in business Management a certificate in basic secretarial duties.I now had to find a job to match qualifications which was extremely difficult thanks to being registered as having a mental disability.I did however manage to a secretarial job with the help of local mental health charity on the provision that I carried on at nightschool to gain the full secretarial qualification.The work could have been carried out by a school leaver as it was really an office boys job, but at least it was rung on the ladder.

At first it was fetch and carry with a bit of filing but as time went on I was filling in for people who were absent for one reason or another and always under the eye of Sarah the office manager.I didn`t have much to with the rest of staff and kept to myself not because I wanted it that way,they had heard about my background or should I say what the reports from the mental homes said and were wary of me.The staff usually took they`re coffee breaks at they`re desk, but at lunch time we used the canteen, everyone with they`re little groups of friends and me sitting alone at a table in the corner.watching everyone laughing and joking with each other makes loneliness that little unbearable so I started going and having my lunch on one of benches in front of building.Hail rain or snow I would be sitting on the bench 5 days a week at lunch time,eventually one of department supervisors asked why I did this even in bad weather so I told her.

I found she was called Marjory and she asked why someone of age was in such a junior position so I told her my story,after listening she informed me that the girls in the offices had been told something different and that was why they treated as they did.
Marjory said that she was having a staff meeting before we finished work on friday and would stay behind as she would introduce me to her department in the proper manner, she also said that there would be an opening in her deparment soon for a fully qualifide secretary and she would talk to Sarah to see if I could get the position.I thanked her but told her not to get into any trouble on my account as I wouldn`t like her to lose her job.

Friday came and after work I was introduced to all the women in marjory`s dept,there were one or two who seemed to still be wary of me but on the whole the majority of them apologised for as they said giving me the cold shoulder but I told them I understood and didn`t bear a grudge.The next few weeks went by a couple of girls started in Marjory`s dept so I reckoned that Sarah had Vetoed Marjory`s request although neither of them said anything and as far as I was concerned it was business as usual.Then one day I sent for by the Personnel Officer who informed me that as from the following monday I was being moved to another building but my job and pay would change.I didn`t know it but the company had branched out in a new area business.I was handed a envelope which I was told held everything I needed to know about the new office building, how to get there,who to report to and to retain my present ID card until a new one was processed.I was now 26 and seemed to be getting somewhere,I knew it would be difficult if not impossible to put my past behind but I had to find some balance somehow. somewhere and this seemed a good place to start.

From a life torn apart
I`ll make a brand new start
The loneliness cannot last
don`t to look to the past
Just keep going ahead