I`m ready now , got my best dress and new lingerie on, I sit down and take up my journal continuing where I left off.

I'm writing this while I'm still able to think clearly, I know I don`t have long to go but felt that I needed to do this.

I`m living in the middle of nowhere in a weather worn and well used tent, my two loyal companions ,dogs Badger and Georgia died yesterday, they`d been with me since they were pups 16yrs ago.

Today I dug one grave big enough for the three of us to sleep in for eternity, away from the pain and cruelity on us by so called civilisation.From tonight I`ll sleep in it until the end comes and the weather will most probably cause the soil to fill the it in.

I`m not commiting suicide but am suffering from an a type of cancer that is incurable,it`s, not contagious or anything so theres not need to worry on that count.

Why am I living in a tent in the middle of nowhere?. Well after I left the army after 23yrs I finally gave in to to my transsexual nature and after seeing specialist in that field finally transitioned and since then have lived and dress as a female.

Although the government passed the anti discrimination bill to protect people of various sexual types it was hard to find work, and in most places acceptance. If I got work I was usually fired on some trumpted up breaking of the rules or the people I worked with would make my life so unconfortable I would be forced to leave.

OH yes the government, legal authorities, police, some religions etc all supported the legislation but getting the people to accept it was another matter.

I was forced from my home, by bigots who smashed the windows and on one occassion threw a petrol bomb through the window. Surprisingly there were never any witnesses and really not much the authorities could do.

After the last attempt to fire the place I just got the dogs in the car and drove away with the house blazing away.
The first few days I moved to various towns and tried to find accommodation for me and the dogs but with no luck, they always said I would have to get rid of the dogs and i wouldn`t do that.

I drew a few pounds from my bank account and bought a tent, sleeping bag, and some cooking equipment and just drove up onto the moors.

We`d stop somewhere for a few days and them move on to somewhere else, the only time I went into a town I would empty my bank account which my army pension was paid into at the end of each month, do a bit of shopping and move on.The car is old now but I do keep it maintained, taxed and insured.

What about friends and family you ask?, My family threw me out when I left school and I lived rough on the streets, Friends ? what are those, I never was able to make friends from the day I was old enough to walk, even in the forces I never had friends people just seemed to stay away from me no matter how hard friendly I tried to be.

The only friends I ever had died yesterday and I will join them soon, I hear people talk about God and Heaven, whether it`s true or not I don`t know and to be honest I don`t really care one way or another. If God and Heaven do exist I`ll probably be shunned there as well.

I`m going to stop writing as I can barely see, so the end is just about on me. At last I`ll find peace with the only friends that gave me true unconditional love and loyalty.

I stopped writing and carefully placed the journal along with my other documents into a weatherproof container, maybe someone will find them.

After placing the container a few feet away from our grave, set fire to the car in which I`ve placed everything else I owned.

I can feel the life ebbing away as I lay down at the side of Badger and Georgia, I say a final farewell to my two friends gently kiss them both for the last time and..........