No Surrender

By

Jacquimac

I was supposed to going to physiotherapy when I left ward, tomorrow I was to be discharged back to care of my so family. I had spent 3 months in hospital with broken legs from supposedly falling down the stairs or so my Dad had told the doctors.

No I hadn`t fallen down the stairs, he threw me down, why I never knew but I did know that if stayed there much longer I would end up dead.

I was the youngest of three brothers but was nothing like my sibling, they lived for sport and rough housing, on the other hand I tended to study and read books a lot.

I didn`t have any friends at home and was always bullied by everyone so I was a loner.

The only time I could get away from my family was when I went to my Grandmothers during the summer holidays, she lived out in the country and had taught me about country life and I could fish, catch rabbits and clean and cook them.

The clothes I had on were hand me downs and had seen better days, they were clean but resembled a patchwork quilt.

It wasn`t that we were poor, just that Dad couldn`t see the worth in buying new stuff for me as according to him I was worse than useless.

My mother had run off five years before due to Dad being violent to her as well, and as she didn`t know where she was going couldn`t take me with her.I guess he picked me as the target for his anger now.

So I decided that I was going to do a runner today, I was 13 yrs old yesterday but as far as anyone was concerned it was just another day of the year.

Maybe I`m cynical but thats how feel now, my birthdays were celebrated and I never got to join in the Xmas festivities at home once Mum left, my siblings yes they got anything they wanted and always backed Dad up when he lied about my injuries.

Physiotherapy was in a seperate block to the childrens wing so it was easy to get away unnoticed, the only stop I made was to collect my Dog from the yard at the back of house and I was off.

I knew I had to make some distance before it was noticed I was missing, I knew the hospital would be held responsible for my disappearance. but I doubt Dad would make too much of a fuss.

I headed out towards the moors, I didn`t have a key to the house so had no food or spare clothing and no coat. I did find a Five pound note in my pocket and would keep that to buy lifesaving essentials. At least it was the start of summer so there would be plenty of rabbits around, all I needed to do was find they`re runs and set a couple of snares.

I kept walking for hours with Snowy at my side, you might think Snowy is funny name for a dog, but hes an almost jet black border collie with white speckle on his coat that give the appearance he`s been out in the snow. Dad kept him tied up outside since he bit Dad when he thumped me round the yard a few months ago.

It was getting dark when I came across an ruin of a barn, I found some old bales of hay inside and made a bed for the two of us, I was hungry but that would have to wait until I caught a rabbit. Then it struck me how am I going to skin it? thinking for a while I remember an old man showing me how to make tools out flint, so in the morning I would have to find some suitable pieces of flint and shape them.

I felt snowy get up and woke to find it was getting light ouside so i wewnt down the river and had a quick wash and a good drink. Snowy got a drink and kept watching me, I loved Snowy and trusted him, and I think he loved me at least he always watched out for me and the bullies stayed away when Snowy was with me.

We started out again I was determined to get a far away as possible form that hell that was my home, I knew I couldn`t go to Gran`s as they would be waiting for me so I knew it was me against the world. I would have to keep away from towns and cities and give farms as wide a berth as possilble.

That night still hungry we settled down amongst some thick bushes, if it rained I was going to get wet but at least I was out of the worst of the wind.As luck would have it there was no rain and it quite warm that night.

We kept trudging on stopping at a stream or a river for a drink when Snowy started walking towards a cliff in the side of a nearby hill, it was thick with bushes and we found a cave at the back, it wasn`t easy for big person to get to and couldn`t be seen unless you knew it was there, it looked like I had found somewhere to live for the time being.

On our journey I had found some pieces of flint so hiding the cave I took a rock and chipped away until I had made what resembled a knife and an axe head, now I had to catch something. I looked around and found some rabbit burrows and using some of the string I had holding my trousers up made a few snares which I set before heading back to the cave.

The cave wasn`t very big and had a sandy covering on the floor, I pushed a lot sand into a heap and fashioned a bed of sorts and being tired fell asleep with Snowy at my side.

the next morning I inspected my snares and found two decent sized rabbits, I carefully skinned and cleaned them down at the stream keeping the pelts I gave one to Snowy and ate some of the other. I had no way to light a fire so I knew I would have to find somewhere I get some matches and maybe a spool of fishing line and a few hooks.

I climbed the hill and at the top noticed a small village a couple of miles away, so taking Snowy with me went to have a look as luck would have it it was market day and managed to but a box of matches, some line and hooks and a small packet of lead weights. I looked around the market stalls for a while and managed to get a mug and a couple of metal bowls pretty cheap at a second hand stall.

I left the village heading back to the cave but in a roundabout way hoping I hadn`t been followed although Snowy would soon let me know if there was a anybody nearby, it was getting late when we got back to the cave, so I had a quick look at my snares and found another couple of rabbits which I skinned and cleaned before resetting the snares in a different place.

The next morning I lit a small fire and cooked the rabbits I had cleaned the night before then after washing up went and had a good look at the river. I walked the bank for a while and saw fish in three or places then went back to our new home.

The fish I had seen looked like trout and I thought about making a couple of small traps that I could place under the bank in a couple of spots I saw earlier, it would mean using some of line I had and they might not work but I made a couple anyway.

I know had a good supply of food, and a dry place for shelter but summer never seems to last long in the UK so I knew I would have to prepare for winter and in the Dales winter could be very hard.

I was legs started to feel sore in the morning but I supposed it was because I didn`t finish the course of physio and tried to ignore it, after a few days the soreness left me but I woke up stiff in the mornings.

I had been on the run for three weeks now and decided to head to an area near were my Gran lived,that way if I needed urgent help I would get it. Gran hated Dad even though he was her son, she knew how violent and cruel he could get and that was why she would take me to her home for the summer holidays.

As I slowly moved north toward the Scottish border I passed through a few villages and saw pictures of myself posted outside the police stations, they were still looking for me. I hadn`t used much of the Fiver I started with and now again bought a loaf of bread and still fishing and catching rabbits was managing to survive.

I had quite a few pelts now and had cleaned them thoroughly although I didn`t know how to cure them, but they would have to do. I planned on stitching them together and making some kind of blanket so I would need needled and thread. I knew I could sew Gran had shown me how, she said that everybody should at least know the basic of sewing even if it was just to replace a button on a shirt.
I eventually arrived at the woods near to were my Grandmother lived, not far off was an old disused farmhouse and I installed myself for a long stay. There was plenty of game about even pheasant and partridge so I wouldn`t be short of food.

It had taken me about six weeks to get here so hopefully they wouldn`t be looking too hard for me up here, Autumn wasn`t far off so I had to get a stock of some sort of vegatables, a diet of meat is okay but you need veg if just for a change. The farmers were slowly coming to the end of crop picking but if you looked round the edges of the fields you could always potatos, turnips and cabbages that had been missed, most times it wasn`t worth the bother to pick then as they tended to be a small and wilted.

The cold weather was really going to be a problem, the only clothing I had was what I was wearing and it wasn`t the best, in fact most people would have thrown it away or used it for rags that was how bad it was.

A couple of miles away was the Dump so I went there scavaging for anything I could use. I did find some clothing in alot better condition than I was wearing so I took that and washed it as best I could in the nearby river, I also found a couple of broken knives which I could sharpen and replace the handles. I found a load of cord and some fishing line that went with me along with a few odds and ends. and a few wooden apple boxes. The boxes took a couple of trips to move back to the farmhouse, but now I was a lot better of than I had been for a while,

I needed to buy a few things with my meager funds so staying away from the nearby village I headed for one about 10 miles in the opposite direction and got most of what i needed, something to light a fire with was the first thing I needed. Up here the snow fell with a vengance so warmth and food were the priorities, some years the snow got so deep that you couldn`t leave the house.so I spent a couple of weeks combing the nearby fields for any veg I could find and luckily I found quite a bit even a few hands of carrots.

My collection of pelts had increased and using some of the fishing line fashioned a couple of blankets, I collected a huge quantity of wood that I stored in one of the empty rooms.

I wanted to let Gran know I was safe but didn`t see anyway I could get a message to her, I knew she never locked the backdoor when she went out and Myrtle her old dog would be no problem for me, but there was no way I would go near the house incase I was spotted and leaving her a note would be a big giveaway. She was only about a mile away from were I was so I decided to wait until i got into difficulties.

Don`t get me wrong I trusted Gran but she would have to tell the authorities if she saw me and that mean being returned to Hell, so I just carried on doing what I could.

Eventually winter arrived and I was out setting snares in the woods and managing to catch a lot of rabbits which I stored in a snow filled pit I had dug after I had skinned and cleaned them, I did the same with any fish I caught and the few birds I had managed to trap, and placed a wooden board over the top of pit and hid with a covering of snow. I had managed to get the old water tank in the attic filled with water and once it had frozen had chipped large hole and stored some meat in it covering it with the ice I had scooped out. That would keep for times when I couldn`t get out to place snares.

As luck had it the snow was only a couple of feet deep that year so I was able to get to my make shift food locker although I work at digging it free and recovering it.

I didn`t have to go far from the house so I didn`t leave tracks all over the country side although the hunt for me would have died down by now I hoped. I knew the police would still be keeping an eye out for me and all the kids that had run away but I was willing to bet that the cold would keep them from looking too hard.

I had lost track of what month it was never mind what the day was and was getting bored with all the inactivity, Snowy was my only companion but not much of conversationalist. I noticed some old books on the dump but hadn`t thought of bringing back with me and it was too dangerous in the snow to go there now.

It must been halfway through the winter when disaster stuck, I woke up to Snowy growling and saw one the local farmers entering the building. I was stuck there were no windows in this room and I would be spotted if I went through the door. I quietened Snowy hoping the farmer would go away but he didn`t he came right into the room and saw us.

He looked at me and Snowy and around the room and said " you`ve got a decent set up here but people are looking for you and your Gran is worried sick"

Snowy calmed down but stayed firmly at my side watching the farmer. I knew Mr Ferguson and knew he wouldn`t harm me it was one of his cottages my Gran lived in.

He talked me into going with him to my Gran`s cottage and after gathering my bits and pieces we set off.

I asked how he found me and he said " I saw the smoke coming out the chimney, you shouldn`t burn wet wood and once I saw that I came to see who was here, I didn`t
expect to find you though"
We arrive Gran`s cottage and went to the door and knocked. After a minute or two she opened the door saw me and took me in her arms. We all went inside and she made tea for everyone. Looking at me she said" Well it doesn`t look like you`ve to harm, but you`ve caused a lot of trouble and your Dad is mad as hell. Just what did you think you were doing"

Theres no way I`m going back, I`ll kill myself first before I get taken back to that hell hole" I told her.

Mr Ferguson tried to calm the situation which was getting heated and I turned and angrily told him about the beating I regularly got, I showed him the clothing I had worn when I left the hospital. He looked shocked which soon turned to anger at what he had just heard/
" I`m just a punchbag for dad and my brothers, because I`m not manly enough for them I do all the house work and washing and all the jobs Mum did before she left" I told him.

He looked at Gran and she just nodded. " Surely you`ve told the Authorities" he said
Gran told him that she had but had been called a liar by my brothers and Dad, so the authorities believed them.

The next morning I heard Gran on the phone to the Police, she had locked the bedroom door so I climbed out the window with Snowy following me and ran. I had to get away and felt betrayed by everyone.
I don`t know long I kept moving and I new I was in serious trouble . all I had was what I was wearing, there was no shelter that I could see and night was falling.

There were some bushes not far away and I headed towards them I crawled in among them and the last thing I remembered was Snowy lying down against me and I felt at peace at last.
My pal snowy lying at the side the only one I knew would never betray or allow harm to come to me stopped moving and I put my arms around him and fell asleep knowing that never again would I suffer from Unhappiness, Betrayal or pain.