This Little Light of Mine
by
Rebecca Anna Coleman

“Ye are the Light of the World. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do men light a candle and put it under a bushel, but on candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that in the house. Let your light  shine before men, that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in Heaven.” Matthew 5:14 – 16

The air inside the Mississippi Orthopedic Center made the tiny hairs on my arms stand straight up. I hated being there but every time I tried to move my left arm, I was reminded why I was there. Even the slightest jolt to my left arm would send a shock wave of pain sky rocketing through the rest of my body. Also I felt trapped. Sitting to my left was Jamie, who like me was dressed in her Benton Academy Varsity Cheerleader Uniform. 

Jamie looked annoyed. Her arms were crossed over her chest and her head was turned to the side. Her long blonde ponytail bobbed up and down. Sitting across from her was Lily who was trying to smile. Sitting to my left was Mrs. Potter who had become something of a second mom to me since I'd been invited to stay with the Potter Family. Sitting beside her was Mr. Potter or Sherman Potter who seemed to drift in and out of sleep.

“You see.” Jamie said finally. “This is why we should not allow rookie cheerleaders to cheer.” 

I felt a blush starting to creep across my face. While her words were not really directed at anyone, I'm sure she was directing that comment at me. Mrs. Potter said nothing, she only kept pecking away at the forum that she was holding and Mr. Potter at this point had given up the battle and allowed the Sandman to carry him off to the land of Nod.

“I mean, only a rookie would slip and fall down and break her freaking arm.” Jamie muttered darkly under her breath. “And I need to remind you. I did not want her on the squad anyways. But no, nobody wanted to listen to me.” 

At this point I wanted  the ground to open me up and swallow me whole. I tried to shift my weight and the moment I did I felt a stream of steam escaping my lips. A low hissing sound filled the air as I tried to position it a little better.

“Pride comes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before the fall.” Jamie said as she noticed my struggling.

At this Lily arched her eyes up and peered toward Jamie.

“I don't even know you anymore.” Lily said sadly. “Never in a billion years, would I think of my little sister. Stoop so low as to use scripture to attack her own flesh and blood. Really Jamie, even for you that is a low blow.” 

I wanted my seat to swallow me.

Mrs. Potter heaved a heavy sigh and stood up and silently marched toward the front desk. Jamie and Lily watched her leave. And also watched her return a few moments later. It was then Jamie decided to open her mouth, maybe to spew a counter remark. But Mrs. Potter just glared at her direction and she quickly closed her mouth.

A few tense moments passed as all waited. Finally a brunette woman dressed in pink scrubs appeared in the doorway. In a loud, booming voice she called out. 
“Potter! Daisy!” 

Jamie tighten her jaw as she heard my name being called out. She quickly turned toward  Mrs. Potter, who was looking quite tired and about ready to join her husband in the land of Nod. She looked stunned like how somebody looks in those old cartoons, you know the ones were somebody gets their face smashed in with an iron skillet.

“You gave her the 'Potter' name!” She said, flushing a bright red. “Nobody ever asked me if I was okay with it. OMG people are going to think we're sisters now!” Jamie said in a sharp tone of voice. 

“As far as I'm concerned she is our sister.” Lily said, sighing.

I just stood up and started to walk toward the nurse. I wanted to look behind me to see who was going to follow me back there. Instead behind me the only thing I heard was this.

“Girls this is not the time nor the place to get into this.” I could tell by the tone of the voice that those words belonged to Mrs. Potter.

“She is not my sister.” Another voice joined in. This voice had to belong to Jamie.

“She is my sister.” Another voice added. “And I'm going to go with her. She is not going back  there alone.” This voice had to belong to Lily.

“Fine.. mom where are you going?” Jamie's voice seemed unsure.

“I'm going back with my daughter.” Mrs. Potter's voice was sharp and firm. 

“Fine!” Jamie said her voice sound more like a whine. “I guess I'll go back too!”

“No, sweetie. I think it would be best if you stay out here with your father and keep him from falling over. After all just a few moments ago you said 'She not my sister' those were your words after all. Since Daisy is not your sister. I think it's best if you stay out here with your father and ponder how careless you've become with your words.” Mrs. Potter said.

A few moments later both Lily and Mrs. Potter joined me side by side.

Well after that nothing happened. Well I was guided into a darkened room. Another woman called me back and x-rays my arm a dozen more times. After that I waited ten or fifteen minutes before I was called to another room. It was in that room a tired, looking doctor with a chin that was dotted with black stubble walked in, looked at the x-rays and in a muttering tone of voice said.

“Well Ms. Potter.” He said looking down at the x-rays in a way that reminded of a General studying his field maps for an upcoming battle. “Your arm is clearly broken. Thankfully it's a clean break and should heal nicely. We are going to put it in a cast though.” And with that I stood up and walked out of the office.

Before I could blink an eye I found myself being ushered from the office to another room. A few moments later a cheerful nurse with honey blonde hair was walking up to me. She smiled at me, a creepy smile. Kind of a wicked smile.
“So Cheerleader?” She asked as peered toward me.

I nodded my head. I did not feel like speaking, the pain from the break had really deaden my nerves. And well all I wanted to do at this moment was go to sleep. I was sure any and all problems I had to deal with could wait till tomorrow morning. I mean all wanted at this point was to go to get some shut eye. Well if I'm honest with you.

What I really wanted at this point was a fourteen ounce USDA Choice New York Strip Steak, with a nice warm pink center. One that was nice and juicy, a king size baked potato loaded down with salt, pepper and plenty of butter and to wash it all down a half gallon of sweet tea. And to finish my meal off an extra large cookie and cream swirl from Lyon's Ice Cream Palace.  

Then I would like a nice warm bubble bath and then I would like to fall asleep. But I doubt I'll get any of that tonight. Well I'm sure I'll get some sleep tonight. Anyway I just watched as the nurse started to work on getting my cast ready. Then an idea popped into my head.

“Hey!” I said, peering toward the nurse. 

“Do you think I could get my cast like.. in three different colors? Like one solid blue stripe, one solid white stripe, and one solid pink stripe.” I said starting to flush a little.

The nurse blinked and smiled a little.

“Oh! Sure I can do that.” She said smiling. “Those are the colors of the trans pride flag right? That's kind of a bold statement considering we're in Mississippi.” She paused. “We're considering that Mississippi is undergoing something akin to a social revolution.” The nurse added as a bit of a after thought.

At that both Mrs. Potter, Lily and I blinked.

“Oh don't worry! I'm a friend of the 'Family' if you will. Like my best friends little sister is kind of in the family and I always kind of considered her like before she decided to change like a adopted little brother. So like when she decided to come out to her family I decided that my adopted little brother was really my adopted little sister if that makes sense.” The nurse seemed to rambling a little.

At this point the pain had gone to my head. And my head was swirling around.

“Yes.” I muttered as I swallowed hard.

“Oh cool! I'll get you fixed right up.” The nurse said, smiling a little.

As I watched the nurse work. I pondered the consequences this would bring. I mean I knew it was popular for transgender kids to wear hair ribbons in the colors of the trans pride flag in their hair. Or to have it as a decoration on their keychain or to wear it as a little pin. Some bold ones would even have the colors as the colors of their braces. If they had braces. And I knew it was common for supporting moms and dads to fly the trans pride flag from the flagpole on their front porch. But to me, hair ribbons could be removed, key chain decoration could easily be hidden in pockets or purses. And flags could be removed and hidden away. And braces, well nobody gets close enough to anybody to see what color their braces are. 

But a cast for a broken arm. There was no way I could hide that. There was no way I could remove it or change my mind. I would thrusting myself into the spotlight. And that's what I wanted. All of these thoughts filled my head as I watched the nurse work.

Finally the cast was on and with Lily and Mrs. Potter's help I was helped off the table and ushered back into the waiting room. I was in the cast for a month and a half. And the only thing I could think about was in a roundabout way Jamie had gotten her wish. I was off the squad for the season.  Only six games remained in the current season and I'd only cheered for four of the ten games. 

That thought made me pause and before I could catch myself I felt tears falling down my cheeks. I hung my head down and heaved a deep breath as the tears fell down upon my blistered cheeks. I could almost taste the salt in them on the tip of my tongue. And then through my blurry vision I notice that Jamie is fighting with a nurse.

“I don't care!” She shouted. “I don't give a hoot what the rules say! She is my little sister and I'm her big sister! I'm going back there!” She shouted at the top of her lungs. 

“Jamie..” I paused as I peered toward her.

“Daisy?!” Jamie said breaking eye contact with the nurse to look dead in my eyes. Her eyes then travel from my face toward my cast and her eyes become wide as saucers as she looks at the colors of the cast that my broken arm is wrapped in. She then rushes toward me. And before I could catch myself she tossed her arms around me and brought me close to the valley between her breasts.

“YOU.” She said loudly. “You are my sister. You're my adopted little sister. And all transwomen are sisters. You are my sister and I've not been a very good sister to you. I've been a shitty sister. But that is going to change.” She whispered softly into my ear.

The End.