Jack O' Lanterns, Moonlight, and Magic
By
Rebecca Anna Coleman
Chapter Four: The First Steps into Girlhood

Mom kept most of her extra clothing in the closet of the guest bedroom. The guest bedroom was mom's retreat from the outside world. It was also supposed to be the room of the little sister I never got. The walls of the room were painted a light pink color and the bed located in the middle was an old fashion white canopy bed that was befitting a princess. I think it was my mom's old bed. The sheets and covers were white and white lacy hung down all around it. 

Across the bed was a matching white vanity. With an overstuffed white stool sitting in front of the mirror. I felt my cheeks starting to fill with color as I stepped into the room and gently closed the door behind me. I could not help feeling like I was trespassing by being here. And yet, I felt like I belonged here. I felt like this should have been my room. This should have been the room I'd grown up in. 

I forced myself to push those thoughts from my head as I started to inch my way toward the dresser that sat beside the white vanity. Slowly I pulled open the vanity. This is going to sound silly, but I felt like Indiana Jones as I got down on my knees and pulled open the drawer. Once the drawer was open I reached in and pulled out a lacy white bra with matching panties. I placed those to the side. One lesson I learned from listening to my mother talk to my cousin Cerridwen was that a young lady always tried her best to match the color of her bra with the color of her panties. The lesson stuck with me, and I knew if I was going to pass as girl Willow I needed to match.

“Okay that's done.” I said, taking a deep breath. “Now to get the other parts of the outfit together.” And so with that I started to walk toward the closet. As I pulled upon the closet door I discovered racks on racks of silken blouses, dresses, skirts and at the bottom shoes of all kinds. It was a verbal wonderland.

“I'm lost.” I said, taking a deep breath. It was then and there that it dawned on me how much I was totally over my head. Girls had years of learning how to dress and act from their mothers, aunts, and big sisters. Girls learn by mimicking other girls.

But then something clicked inside me. And without thinking I reached up and selected a frilly, cotton blouse. The color was a kind powder blue color. I blushed a little, it felt so soft to the touch. I quickly pulled the blouse down and tossed it down on the bed. The next thing I found was a pink, pastel pink skirt. It felt right so I tossed the skirt onto the bed right next to the blouse. The next item I put my hands on were a pair of leather boots. Now, any good southern girl worth her salt always owned a pair of leather boots. If you were going to wear a skirt in autumn you needed to pair it with a pair of leggings and boots for warmth. 

“One last thing..” I said blushing as I pushed the clothes aside and by luck I ran across a powder blue hoodie. Perfect! Tonight was supposed to be a bit on the chilly side and wanted to keep warm. I furrowed my eyebrow for a moment though. I would need something to keep my personal things in. The skirt did not have a pocket, one of the drawbacks to wearing a skirt I suppose.

“I'm going to need a purse.” I said blushing as I once more reached into the closet. And count my lucky stars. Inside the closet located toward the back of the thing I found a small, faux black leather purse. It was perfect. It just screamed demure.

My outfit picked out. I started to move toward the bathroom. Now, our humble cottage has two bathrooms. One was called the 'Guys' bathroom. It was kind of the bathroom me and my dad used. That one had a shower. And the other one we called the 'Queen' bathroom because that was the one my mom used. It had a claw tub. The 'Guys' bathroom was painted blue and often smelled of soap and Old Spice. The 'Queen' bathroom was painted pink and often smelled of perfume, cherry blossoms, strawberries, and vanilla spice. It was here mom worked her magic. It was here she kept all her make-up and beauty supplies.

Now, I was free to use any bathroom I wanted. But as a rule of thumb I'd stuck to using the 'Guys' bathroom. Because I always thought the 'Queen' Bathroom along with the guest bedroom belonged to mom Anyway I felt like I was trespassing as I walked into the pastel pink bathroom. I quickly pushed those thoughts from my mind as I stripped myself of the light cotton sleeping pants and light cotton sleeping shirt.

“I'm just a teenage girl.” I muttered under my breath. “Who is leaving her tomboy phase behind her.” I added. “I don't own any of this stuff. I'm just borrowing mom's stuff. She won't know anything. I'll put everything back in place. I'll clean up super well behind myself. Nobody would know I'm here.” 

And with that I turned on the tap, filling the tub with steaming hot water. I blushed as I felt the steam of the water coming off the water. Once the tub was halfway filled with water, I turned of the tap and climbed in and settling in was long drawn out of progress of sighing and hissing. Once I'd settled in I laid back and allowed the warmth of the water to wash over me.

“This is heaven.” I muttered to myself. I paused. “I need to shave my legs.” I said smiling a little as I reached over and picked up a pink and white Venus Gillette razor. By the razor I found a bottle of pink and white Gillette shaving foam. Blushing, I dipped my legs in the water and then carefully I started to shave my legs till they were smooth as silk. Then I decided for good measure to shave my nether region and for extra good measure the hair under my arms. And I even tried to tackle the hair on my chest and everywhere I could reach with the tiny razor.

The fair hairs of my arm, chest, under my arms melted away like snow that was facing the first breath of spring. I was surprised to see the tiny, but powerful blades of the razor cut through the fine hairs how mother's scythe cut through stubborn vines and weeds that tried to choke her vegetable garden patch.

Once that was done. I reached up and picked up a green bottle of shampoo. The front of the bottle showed a mango and a coconut and a few strawberries. I don't know what I was expecting, but the shampoo looked more like a tropical fruit smoothie than shampoo. And the moment I started to scrub it into my hair was the moment I could smell all the scents. 

I was in heaven. Everything seemed so refreshing, everything was new. I felt like I was being reborn. The warm water felt so rejuvenating that I did not want to leave the tub. I just wanted to mellow and spend all night soaking in the warm water. But slowly, I forced myself to climb out of the tub. It was then I caught sight of myself. The reflection in the mirror showed a young preteen. A very androgynous preteen but a very pretty one. 

“Wow.” I said blushing a little.

“I could really pass as a girl.” I said as I turned around to admire myself in the mirror. “Sure I'm flat as a piece of wood. But I'm sure a little padding could solve that problem.” I said out loud.
I knew from some whispered conversations I'd been privy to. By merit of being in the same room while they were taking place, they made such padding and women of all shapes, and sides knew little tricks and cheats to enhance their figure. My mom called them “Tricks of the Trade”. But I had no way of going to such shops. And if I did it would look weird for me to just waltz in there and buy such items. 

“Google.” I said, smiling a little. “I will pray to Saint Google the Defender of the Internet.” I said as a smile morphed into a smirk. And so I made up my mind. I would venture out tonight as a girl. And I would make an effort to dress like a girl, to get 'Dolled' up as my mother would say. I only wish I had my mother here with me, helping me, guiding me, offering her wisdom and drawing upon her experiences. I guess that what made women different from men, women helped other women become better women, they offered freely their own advice, wisdom, and provided counsel to each other. Men on the other hand never really offered a fellow man any advice or wisdom.

“I think tonight will be a magical night.” I said as I wrapped a pink towel around me. And then I started to walk toward my room. I had some research to do. I felt the more I knew, the clearer this strange feeling that was nagging at the corner of my mind would become. I could not put my finger on that nagging feeling, but I knew I had to do some research into it. I also knew I had to do research into being a girl.. I also knew I had only three hours, maybe four tops to get ready. 

And so with the tiny grains of sand slowly running out of my hour glass. I breathed one more prayer to the patron saint of all wayfaring travelers of the internet. 'Saint Google the Defender of the Internet' and for added measure. I breathed a prayer to the Goddess of the Moon. I figured between the two, somebody would take up the cause to help me.