Now before you jump to any conclusions. I don't know if I'm transgender or not. I have two cousins that are and I kind of date a girl who is. I really don't know where I myself personally fit on the whole gender spectrum. It's not something I'm prone to giving much thought too. Anyway, the story I'm going to recount to you is not about that! So let's not make it about that. This story is about how I came to be almost accepted in this rural township and how I kind of became the “Little Sister” of the cheerleader's of Benton Academy Varsity Cheerleading Squad. Kind of my personal initiation into the fabled “Pom-Pom Fortress” if I may. And maybe, I cracked my egg too.

-Act I-
Maybe I'm Cracking My Shell

“You look totally adorable!” Jamie said as she gazed toward me. “I don't know what you did with your hair. But girl, let me be the first to tell you. You're really rocking that bob haircut. I mean you looked cute before, but now you look adorable, heck maybe even hot, heck you could even pull off sexy if you had some high quality breast foams.”

I felt my cheeks flush with color as I gazed into the full length mirror that had been man-handled into the tent that was a make-shift changing room. Once more I'd found myself dressed in a Benton Academy cheerleading uniform. This time however, I was not chasing after a ghost. I was wearing it to settle a debt that I owed to a girl called Jamie Sarah Potter. As I peered at myself in the mirror and noticed the blush starting to bloom in my cheeks, I turned around and started to try different poses. And well I hated to say it, but I liked the way I looked.

“He sure does.” Another girl named Winter said as she entered the tent. “Wow, Jamie when you said your cousin could pull off this stunt. I thought for sure you were just pulling my leg. I mean I've seen him around school a lot and I've seen him around town too. And well I was never quite sure what to make of him. At first I thought he was a 'she' and 'she' was just a late bloomer. You know some girls don't get their first period till like seventeen or so. And well I thought she was a tomboy too, I mean with a name like 'Daisy' what else was I to expect?” Winter said with a lopsided smile.

“I mean no offense Daisy, it's just that you're really androgynous and that's why you catch hell all the time. That's why your always getting beaten up. I mean sure after you smashed the teeth out of 'The Beast' and thrashed one his henchmen nearly to death with your belt.. people have kind of backed off of you.  I mean that not to say you won't catch hell if you were a girl. Because girls can be just as cruel as boys and girls tease and bully each other too. But they go about attacking their prey in an indirect way. So I'm not saying your life would be easier if you presented yourself as a girl. And boys love to use their fist so..” Winter was clearly rambling on.

“Winter.” Jamie said, sighing. “For just this evening let's just assume that Daisy is a girl. And that she is my newly adopted little sister. And after this, assume that Daisy is a girl and we've just granted her permission to enter into the 'Pom-Pom Fortress'. So from now on 'She' is under our protection of the squad. You're my second in command, so I kind of need your help.”

“Oh! Sure! Sorry! I totally did not mean to like to misgender her or anything!” Winter said, flushing red.

“It's fine..” I said blushing a little. And then from out of nowhere something just popped up.

“I kind of wish I did have breasts like you girls do though.”

A sudden and deafening silence filled the room the silence was only broken by Winter coughing as she pulled the flaps of the tent back. Without saying a word she made her way toward the exit. But before she left she turned around and leered toward Jamie and me.

“Okay Jamie, girlfriend, this is your boat to float. This is out of my league. I was born a girl, you kind of made that choice. I mean I guess you made that choice. I'm not sure how this stuff works. But you know how this stuff works. So you can offer help better than I can. Like I said before, I have always considered you a girl, I consider you my cheerleading sister, and I consider you my friend. But this is something that only you can help her with.”And with that she left.

“Did I say something wrong?” I said tilting my head to the side.

“No, you did not.” Jamie said as she went to fasten the flaps of the tent nice and tight. Once they were fastened she turned toward me. She then stepped in front of me and taking a deep breath she heaved a sigh.

“So, that little out of the blue comment you made. Was that made in jest? Or were pieces of your egg shell falling down and was something peeking out through the normally gray clouds that always seemed to surround you?” Jamie added as she folded her arms across her chest. “Cause I have to know, considering what I am and all the shit I've been through getting to this point in my life.” She added quickly.

“I don't know, Jamie, it honestly just popped into my head. But I kind of wish I did have breast like you and the others.” I paused. “And sometimes like late at night like right before I go to bed. I wonder how my life would have turned out if I'd been born a girl instead of you know a boy? Like, I don't know if my life has been better or would it have been worse? Would I've still been picked on a lot growing up? Or would I've been I don't know more accepted? Would I still be here at rustic, rural Benton Academy? Or would I still be enrolled at St. Katherine's Academy with my two sisters? Would I have developed a much closer relationship with my sister being a girl?” These questions just seemed to fall out of my mouth.

“First off.” Jamie Said, taking a deep breath. “You think way too much. That can be a good thing, because when it comes to things like this you need to do a lot of heavy thinking. But you also need to have somebody you can bounce ideas off of. When it comes to this, you need a group of friends that know you, that understand you and that love you to help think through this terrible mental jungle. And you do, you have Lily, Madeline, Heather, Pandora, Cerridwen, Kayla, your mother, your father, your two sisters and aunt and uncle, you have me, you have my mom, my dad, also last but not least you have Gwendoline who I think is kind of like Cerridwen a witch..”

I nodded my head.

“The main right now though, is for us to get through this fundraiser. Now, it's clear to me, by asking to step in and cover for Cerridwen, a few mental switches have been flipped. And me, being me, wants nothing more than to just call this whole thing off and sit you down and get to the bottom of these questions that you might be asking yourself. That is the big sister part of me. Now the other side just wants to tell you to put those questions away and just smile.” Jamie said as she started to rub her forehead.

“Okay..” I looked at myself once more in the mirror and once more I liked what I saw. Instead of an androgynous schoolboy I saw a young woman who was on the cusp of womanhood. She just needs to advance from humble but to flower and then the world would become her oyster. With a little bit of make-up, a tiny amount of luck and user her God given wit and her family connections she could wrap the whole wide world around her nimble little fingers. She could make all the boys Benton Academy dance like puppets on a string all for her pleasure.

This girl had already played Dotty and if she played her cards right she could  go on to become this year's Homecoming Princess and then next year she could go to become next year's Homecoming Queen and then her senior year she would be crowned Prom Queen. Of course she would be appointed prefect and then made Headgirl!

“Daisy?” Jamie said, waving her hand in front of my face. “This is Earth to Daisy, this is the control center calling to Space Cadet Bell! Please come in Space Cadet Bell!”

“Huh?” 

“You spaced out.” Jamie said, taking a deep breath. “You totally spaced out!”

“Sorry, I was just thinking, plus I've not been sleeping well. I've been having these really weird nightmares about this ghost nurse getting operated on. Like this evil, almost demonic looking nurse. Like she wears all black, like black dress, black pantyhose, black shoes, totally black from head to toe.” I said in a high pitched tone of voice.

“Oh!” Jamie said blinking “Oh! Oh! I get it now,  you must have had an encounter with the fabled Nurse Spooky! That explains why you had to get that haircut when you got discharged from the hospital last week. Not that it was much of a haircut, Pandora did a really good job removing the split ends and making everything look nice and even.”

“...” I blinked. “How did you know?”

“I kind of put two and two together.” Jamie said, heaving a heavy sigh.

“I.. kind of did and I almost got murdered for my troubles!”

“Okay! It clear to me that we have a lot of catching up to do! And it also clear that are are way over your pretty little hair. It's also clear that you and Cerridwen need to have a talk. But let focus on what is in front of us shall we? We need to get through this fundraiser. And that requires you to pass as my little sister, and you do pass as my little sister.” Jamie said giving me the classic American sign for victory and a thumps and a wink.

“Jamie I'm confused! I'm scared! And I don't want to do this!” I said blushing a little. “I want to go home and hide in my closet! I want to go back into the egg! Please don't make me go out there dressed like this!” 

“Daisy Isabella Bell.. I'm sorry to say this but we've crossed over the point of no return now. All of Benton is expecting to see my little sister out. Covered in a clear plastic tarp sitting in a plastic chair, getting ready to get a pudding pie in the face. Well it's supposed to be custard, but we had to use vanilla pudding instead of custard. Not that anybody will know the difference.” Jamie's voice trailed.

“Anyway they're expecting to see the same girl who volunteered to play Dotty, and plus you'll be sporting our newest uniform. They Were really sexy and cute and they did not go out of style in the eighties. And the squad expects you to bring in enough money to at least cover the gas that we'll need to haul our asses from Benton to Oxford this coming spring to attend spring training camp at  Ole Miss.” Jamie said with a sigh.

“In other words..” I said blushing as I stood up.

“Listen! This totally blew right up in my face! Totally blew up in my face! Cerridwen was supposed to be the one sitting in the chair, I'd volunteered her for this, but right now she is sick in bed. And according to what her mom just texted me she might rush her to E.R if her fever does not break. She is running close to a hundred degree fever. And well you owed me a favor. Cause I let you borrow one of the old cheerleading uniforms we had laying around because you wanted to lure out Nurse Spooky!” Jamie said, rambling off the top of her head.

“Right..” I said standing up. “So.. one question.”

“If this is about the whole transition progress. I can't answer that question right off the top of my head! But I promise once this is over and done with. We'll have coffee and sit down and talk through this stuff! I promise.” Jamie said as she got down on her knees and peered into my eyes. 

I blinked and tilted my head to the side and peered into Jamie's face.

“It is not about transitioning.” I said blinking in confusion.

“Oh?” Jamie said blushing. “What are your questions then?” 

“Pigtails?” I said looking at myself in the mirror. “Or a high ponytail?” 

“Pigtails.” Jamie said, smirking. 

At that moment Winter popped her head into the tent and with a goofy smile she said.

“Pigtails for sure!” She added smirking.

And so I settled on Pigtails!