I took a deep breath as I peered out the car window. The sight that greeted me was nothing but flat, rolling fields that seemed to stretch far beyond the horizon. The Mississippi Delta was flat as a board. As I released my drawn in breath I shifted my eyes toward the woman seated beside me. Her name was Lavender Stoner and she was less than thrilled to have me along for the ride. I could say the same for her. Sitting next to her was like sitting next to a junkyard dog.

“So, Like I was saying. This year is going to be a bumper crop. We'll need to hire some extra hands to haul all the cotton in. And the price of cotton at all time high right now.” Mr. Stoner, who was driving, said aloud. I could tell he was trying to break the uncomfortable silence that had fallen over us since leaving Sharbrough's Landing about an hour ago. 

I nodded my head. The last thing I wanted to talk about was business, and farming. But it seemed the only thing Delta men wanted to talk about besides farming, was either farming or fishing. I knew nothing about hunting and fishing was soul withering to me. So I mostly tuned out what Mr. Stone had to say about that. Lavender though, like the cruel bitch she was, seemed to enjoy my discomfort.

You see, I had hoped to spend the hour and two hour car ride from Sharbrough's Landing to Lake Village, a small hamlet located on the Arkansas side of the Mississippi River right across from the bustling river port of Greenville, sitting next to my crush, possible boyfriend George Stoner.

Instead I'd ended up sitting across from his mother, the wicked Lavender Stone while George rode up front with his father. Thus dashing away my hopes of getting to spend two hours flirting with George and teasing him and maybe even showing him pictures of me posing in the risque bunny girl costume I'd worn yesterday for my aunt. I'd taken a number of pictures of myself, striking very suggestive poses with him in mind and I was just dying to see his reaction to them. Call it wicked, but I wanted to see if I could make him hard. I just wanted to see if I was that much of a woman.

“So.” Lavender said as she peered out the window. Right now we were passing through some small Delta town called Leland. Leland was one of the many small hamlets that dotted the Delta landscape. The one claim to fame, and the only thing the city had going for it was that it was the birthplace of Jim Henson, the guy who made famous because of Kermit the Frog. The town even claimed that Kermit the Frog had been born on the banks of Deer Creek that ran through town. 

“So.” Lavender said again as she shifted her attention toward me. “How are you settling in Hailey?” She asked.  “I'm sure Sharbrough's land must seem like the ends of the earth compared to where your from.” She said, narrowing her eyes at me.

I blinked and shifted my attention away from the row of mom and pop shops we were passing as we traveled through the heart of Leland. “Hmm?” I said tilting my head to the side as I peered toward Lavender. Again my hopes of spending the whole trip in silence had been dashed. 

“I'm enjoying it.” I said, taking a deep breath. “It's nice to, too, spend some time among my fathers people. I've enjoyed learning about the history.” I said, being careful to choose my words wisely.

“Really?” Lavender said as she smirked a little. “Oh I'm glad you're enjoying it. And I'm so glad you could join us. I could use a little female company. You know George and hubby all they want to talk about is fishing, hunting, and football.” 

“Oh I'm glad I could join you.” I said smiling and then I decided to risk throwing a little dirty into the eyes of the woman who it seemed hell bent on making my life a living hell. Because you know, why not? This whole dinner date had been her idea to begin with.

“I mean.” I said, smiling a little. Then I saw a glimmer of fear in her eyes. It did me good to see that small glimmer of fear in Lavender Stoner's eyes. Maybe the truth was starting to dawn on her, maybe she was starting to come to the understanding that she had screwed over the wrong girl. I might have been born in the city, but my Aunt Cat was schooling me in the subtle art of Southern Belle politics.

“I mean it was just a crying shame that our little ice cream social fell through at the last minute. I was so looking forward to spending the afternoon with you and all your friends. And of course, getting to know your wonderful son a little better.” I said with a small smile.

“Hey mom!” George said with a grin a mile long. “We can still have it. I mean, It would be a perfect chance for Hailey to meet all my friends. Plus, if Hailey is going to go to Sharkey-Issaquena Academy next year, she needs to be properly introduced to her classmates. Like kind of like a welcome to the class type of celebration.” 

“I think that's a wonderful idea son.” Walker Stoner said as he threw in his two bits. “It's good to have more young people in the village.” He added.

Lavender fumed; it seemed I'd pinned her into a corner. 

“Of course.” Lavender said. “Hailey, what is your favorite type of ice cream?” She said as she raised an eyebrow and shot me a look that could have turned a Gorgon into stone. If that is even possible. I countered with the way I knew how by acting demure. 

“Cookies and Cream are my favorite flavors.” I said smiling. “I can't have too much though, I'm watching my waist. Aunt Cat has me on this strict diet you see. Since It seems I'm her best model, I gotta keep my slim waist.” I paused. “But I'm sure I can break my diet just this once.” 

Truth be known. Aunt Cat could care less what I ate or how much I ate. The only thing she really cared about was her painting and my well being. But I'm going be real with you. Housework burns a shit ton of calories. And Aunt Cat was never one to shy away from giving me chores. I was always doing something around the house, sweeping, mopping, dusting, cleaning out closets, hauling stuff to town dumb for her. Then it was rushing to and fro to the field to check on uncle Sidney and his crew of hired hands. Bringing them fresh water to drink and sometimes even a pitcher of fresh homemade lemonade. 

Then it was cooking, aunt Cat had taken it upon her thin shoulders to show me the ins and outs of the kitchen. And nine times out of ten once I'd cooked a full meal, I was often too tired to enjoy it. Also, my bad habit of snacking on junk food, such as pizza, hot pockets, chips and soda had been replaced with snacking on more fruits, such as apples, oranges, carrots, and even steamed broccoli florets. 

All of this meant that I was slimming down. In a good way mind you. I'd noticed my natural girlish looks were starting to develop a bit more. My waist was starting to become narrower and my hips wider. I was starting to develop that fable 'Hourglass' figure. That each southern belle prayed, wept, and toiled for. 

All of these thoughts swirled around my head as a peaceful silence fell over the car. The silence lasted for a good twenty minutes, long enough for us to leave Leland and drive through the outskirts of Greenville, and cross over the old, Mississippi River bridge. I know this because I spied through my window a sign that read. “Welcome to Arkansas” Below that read “The nature state.” and a again under that “Buckle up for Safety” a reminder to all that wearing your safety belt could indeed save your life. Or something along those lines.

“I'll be sure to buy at least a carton of Cookies And Creme then.” Lavender said as she shifted her gaze toward the window. “How about the Saturday after next?” She said as she threw out a possible date.

“Sounds good! Don't forget this time.” I said smiling as I peered toward Lavender. 

“Oh! That right this coming Saturday we have that Sharbrough's Landing Day's Celebration right?” George said as he turned around in his seat and peered toward me with a smile. “And Hailey, you volunteered to staff the dunking booth right?” 

“Yep!” I said blushing as George gave me his full attention. It seemed word of me volunteering to staff the dunking booth was spreading like a wildfire through the region. I'd noticed a drastic upturn in the number of friend requests I was getting once Most of those friend requests seemed to be spam. But many belonged to accounts of people who lived and worked around the village.

“I hope the water is really cold..” Lavender muttered under her breath as she noticed George seemed to be looking me up and down and judging by the look that was twinkling in his eye, he was liking what he was seeing. I'm going to say it again. I had been slowly developing a curvy figure since deciding that Hailey was not just a persona I'd adopted on a whim. I mean that had been my biggest fear going into this, that I'd been somehow bullied into being Hailey by my aunt Cat. 

“Oh I'm sure it's going to freeze. John Bowman donated around seven hundred pounds of ice to dump into the dunking booth. Sorry Hailey, but we gotta have the water freezing. Gotta give the people what they paid for.” Walker Stone said from the front seat. “It was really nice of you to volunteer too.” He added as an afterthought.

“So.” George said, popping into the conversation. “Hailey, I totally forgot to ask, but you are going to be spending the rest of the year down here in the Delta right? I mean you are going to SIA next year right? Please tell me your aunt and uncle are not going to make you go to Manchester..”

“Manchester?” I said tilting my head to the side. I'm going to be honest with you. Right now I was a bit over my head. On one hand I had Lavender and Walker holding my date with the dunking booth over my head. And on the other hand I had George asking all sorts of questions that I really had no good answer for. 

I mean yes, I'm sure the matter of what school I'll go to would need to be settled. But it seemed so far away, or so far down the list of things that I need to take care of. I had so much to do, and there seemed to be so little time to do it. Time itself seemed like tiny grains of sand slipping through fingers. 

“Oh yes Hailey. Manchester is a super elite private school in Yazoo City. Only the true bourgeoisie of the Delta planters can afford to send their sons and daughters there. The rest of us poor farmers must make due with other academies. Because we all know the public school system of Mississippi is broken beyond repair.” Lavender said in an almost purring manner.
I winched a little at that comment. I could almost feel the venom in each and every word. I mean. Clearly Miss. Stoner was trying to pay me back for making me make good on her promise to host an ice cream social in my honor.  The men of course seemed utterly clueless of the battle of wits being fought between Miss. Stoner and I.. George bless his heart just shrugged his shoulders and Walker kept his mouth shut and his eyes zoomed in on the road.

“Almost there.” Walker Stoner said smiling. “Man, I can almost taste that steak, and Hailey doesn't worry about anything. All this is one me, my treat.”

“Hey dad, do you think I could try that Cow Pen Steak Challenge?” George said.

“Up to you son. If you want to spend seventy three dollars on a seventy two ounce steak, be my guest.” He said. “Oh and don't forget the six fried shrimp, salad, roll, and baked potato.” Walker Stoner said as he pulled the car into the gravel parking lot. 

It was then and there a twisted idea popped into my head... I have no idea what came over me, but the idea of swallowing a seventy two ounce steak, six gulf fried shrimp, that must be jumbo because you only fry jumbo size shrimp, a salad, dinner roll and a bake potato and keep it all down would be something that would keep Walker and George talking for days. And the more they talked about me, the more I'm Sure Lavender Stoner would forced sit there and grind her teeth as they sang my praise from here to the other side of heaven.