The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3367 by Angharad Copyright© 2022 Angharad

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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
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Life kept hurtling along and I tried to keep up with it. Suddenly it was Christmas or a week from it. I had bought most of my presents on line and told everybody that the days of expensive presents were over. I still spent more than I should and this was my money not Simon's. Okay, he paid for Christmas as regards the cost of food and we had quite a bit of both. I surrendered that element to David and he spent over £300 although he said he could cater for a week on that amount, so Simon said it was okay.

I suppose Christmas was going to be well populated, the family except Billie, but with Fran as an extra, we expected Henry and Monica and also I had invited James as he said he would otherwise go to a restaurant or open a can of beans. I told him we now opened a can of soup as well as the beans and he was welcome to share them with us. "How many beans are we talking here?" I suggested it would be at least five and two centimetre square of either bread or toast to be either eaten with the beans or with the tablespoonful of soup, it was up to him.

"And you have a chef there?"

"That's why it's two courses, if I did it you could have either one or the other."

"I see, what about drinks?"

"You can have as much tap water as you like, we like to be generous."

"Um, yes could I bring my own coffee?"

"If you do half of them will want one too."

"I think l I might cope with that."

"Oh, and bring your coat we turn the heating off for Christmas." Seeing as Simon and I paid most of his salary, I'd bought him some rather nice driving gloves made by .Porsche.

I went shopping in town for last minute things and Danielle came with me, she wanted something for Fran but had no idea what to get her. I told him she should have asked her like I did. "You mean you actually asked her?"

"Do you not understand English?"

"Course I do," she replied blushing.

"What did I say to you?"

"You'd ask Fran what she wanted."

"Meaning?" I asked.

"I suppose she told you."

"Of course she told me, it's only you I have a problem with."

"Thanks ,Mum, bitch," she whispered.

"I heard that, it's unbecoming and untrue."

"Huh," she said and remained silent for a few moments and then said, "what did she asked you to get for her."

"I don't think I'll tell you now."!

"Suit yourself," threw at me, "I'm gonna get her some jewellery."

"That wasn't what she said."

"Well unless my stupid mother tells me, that's what she's going to get."

"She hardly ever wears jewellery these days."

"She hardly ever wears makeup these, yet she looks gorgeous when she does."

"I think I have persuaded her to think about tertiary education."

"Isn't that up to her?"

" Yes, but since her father has stopped controlling her life, she can be a normal young woman."

"We can live off my earnings for a bit."

"I doubt you'll ever earn that much."

"It's enough if we don't waste it."

"This a woman who is used to gold plated toilet paper?"

"No that's Auntie Stella."

"I always thought it was Donald Trump," I said stifling laugh.

"Who cares anyway?"

"You do, which is why you can't settle."

"Well it is Christmas eve," she snapped.

"She'd like to go far from here and start again."

"We'll do that as soon as she gets off."

"I'll leave that to the lawyers, meanwhile she'd like a...Oh I wrote it down, now what did I do with it? I thought I'd put it in my pocket maybe it's in my bag." I began searching frantically. It was really a wind up, I had never written it down. I had her almost dancing up and down by the time I found a shopping list and pretended it was what I had learned from Francesca.

"Come on, Mum, the shops close in about five hours."

"Ah, yes, she wants a..oh I can't read my own writing."

Danni was now bouncing up and down like an excited little girl. "Oh, I've remembered."

"Well, tell me and I'll get it."

"She wants a set of Sabatier knives or equivalent."

"I thought there were some at her house."

"She wants her own set, you know she wants to be a chef."

"What? No way."

"That's what she told me, David has been showing her some tricks in the kitchen and she loves it."

"He's bewitched her."

"Don't be silly, she'd rubbed shoulders with biologists, physicists, social historians, computer experts, bankers and nursing and despite all of it she likes cooking best and if that's what she likes, why shouldn't she do it?"

"I'll bloody kill him."

"Don't talk rubbish, for the first time in her life she is free to choose what she does and that's what she says she wants to do."

"Says you."

"I'm telling the truth."

"Yeah, sure you are."

I handed her my phone, "Here speak to her yourself."

She did just that and Fran confirmed it was what she wanted. It was what we bought and Danni grumbled the whole time, especially at the cost of them, they aren't cheap.

We did my shopping little things for the girls stockings and once she had stopped moaning about Francesca's present, she entered into the spirit of things and we quite enjoyed ourselves, I even managed to send her back to the car at one point so I could get her something small for her stocking. The problem with a large family is getting them something different. This year for the older girls I got them vouchers from Next so they could choose an outfit. Then I got silly things for stocking fillers like bath salts or lavender bags or talc.

We stopped for lunch then more little things. I suppose by the time I'd finished I'd probably spent as much as usual, but we had limited the main present to £50.00. That was quite hard to find useful things they actually wanted thank, goodness for Amazon, as that was the way I shopped mainly this year, with David taking in the presents and secreting them in my bedroom. His present was a subscription to a motor magazine which I knew he would enjoy, though why defeats me, I got Daddy a new pair of slippers and gardening magazine in the hope I might see a bit more of the Guardian I pay for every day but rarely see. I think it started as a joke but now it's the norm. My fault, I should have said something earlier, now is a bit late.

Christmas day, we tried to make it special for the children, which with all the adults about, meant it was. If the bairns had actually stopped and looked at all the stuff they received they'd realize that Santa must have a sleigh the size of a pantechnicon and he must have been up and down the chimney all night, ferrying all the stuff they had. Catherine and Lizzie must have had dozens of stuff, Barbie dolls and outfits, and enough sweets for them to be diabetic by lunchtime.

Julie and Phoebe were coming for lunch, we don't see them for a week or two these days, Jacqui was back from her studies which was nice, Sammi was there too and she spoilt the littlies something rotten, including Stella's two who loved their Auntie Sam, because she spoilt them all the time.

Stella gave me a subscription to British Wildlife, a natural history magazine which contains an update on several things going on in the British wildlife world, some of which I knew about and others not. I gave her a subscription to Vogue which she suggested and which I was quite happy to do. The house was filling up with paper but that's life. I kept my mags in magazine holders in the library, where anyone could access them and they did, it wasn't just my Guardian that Daddy borrowed, but that was partly why I stored them there.

Sammi gave me perfume, there are places in London where it's cheaper, probably fell off the back of a lorry somewhere, but hey ho. I gave here some diamond ear studs which she loved. Julie and Phoebe I only gave small prezzies this year because I had bought them a new lounge suite a month or so ago.

Simon is always difficult to buy for, he had enough handmade shirts and other clothes and he doesn't wear jewellery. he'd got Tim to make me a pendant of gem encrusted dormouse to match the brooch he gave me years ago. I bought him some Bose wifi earphones and new MP3 player, although he can use them with his phone as well as he listens to the radio app as well as his downloaded or streamed music.

The kids between them gave me a new fountain pen and ballpoint pen set, which will be very useful for marking and I also write things and do not use a key pad for everything. Fortunately my writing is quite legible if not particularly neat and Danni gave me a new desk pad cum blotter for my desk which had its own clock and thermometer in it and a calendar as well, I wonder if she was trying to tell me I didn't know which day it was.

It was much easier with the catering this year with David doing all the spade work re the cooking and we helped where he needed us. A short time mid-morning, after Tom had lit the fire in the lounge, we slipped away with Trish to visit the grave and plave some flowers upon it. We left a holly wreathe and small pot plant, a couple hyacinths for Billie. We tidied up the grave and took it in turns to hold the dog while sharing out thoughts with our deceased families then we walked back home. Trish told me later that Billie really liked the hyacinths, I knew she would.

Henry and Monica arrived and gave all the kids outrageous things, he gave me a deed of some farmland he'd acquired and wondered if I'd like to rewild it as a project which I could share with the university if I wished. Essentially, it was mine to do with as I wished but I thought his idea was just right. I gave him a case of single malt Scotches, of several varieties and I just watch his eyes widen and the beaming smile which said he'd enjoy it.

To Monica I gave an electronic atlas of France which she could make as big or small as she needed. Henry told me she'd broken her last one getting out of the car while forgetting she'd left it on her lap. It also had international sat nav on it, so she was well pleased.

Christmas dinner was delicious and David stayed with us for the rest of the day, which was better than sitting in his cottage just getting drunk. I was still busy helping out and then clearing up the mess before sitting on my own with a cuppa while I reflected on 2022. It was a mixed year and like the curate's egg, good in parts. I wouldn't be sorry to see the end of it and hoped that the new year may resolve Danni's dilemma and also Francesca's. I hoped they would get tired of each other but that didn't seem to be happening so far. Oh well, a girl can hope.