The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3304 by Angharad Copyright© 2021 Angharad

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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
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Thinking about the email from Janice didn't help my sleep. I tried calling Simon's mobile but he was switched off, or his phone was, he might have been as well, helped by large quantities of fermented grapes. I tried to imagine any scenario that could happen tomorrow when I dealt with the email, as I would. What was uncertain was the how I would deal with it.

I knew the morning would be difficult, with what seemed like only minutes of sleep, it felt awful as well as difficult. I sat with the girls who noticed I was bleary eyed. "Why don't you go back to bed, Mummy?" suggested Mima. Oh how I wished life was that simple.

"I have a few things to do, but let's get some breakfast first shall we?" I toasted what felt like half a loaf of bread and eventually got to eat a couple of pieces along with some squashed banana - well I like it. I asked the girls what they were doing and Trish and Livvie were off to a football match, a friendly with a neighbouring convent school, so it would probably be a blood bath. It was at St Claire's, so I said I'd come and watch some of it as soon as I dealt with something. David agreed to take them and Cate and Lizzie were playing with Hannah, who had devised some sort of ball game for them, so they went off up the garden.

"Could you give me a hand, Meems?" I asked my remaining daughter, who was almost on the verge of going to watch the footie. She shrugged and nodded. I made us both a fresh cuppa and she followed me into the study, as we did so, the two soccer players called, 'goodbye' and I wondered what they'd probably left behind, they always forget something. Danni was still in bed, she'd be off to Reading again in an hour, so I needed to get her up but first, this wretched email.

"What d'you want me to do, Mummy?" asked Meems as we entered the study.

"Give me a second," I said booting up my laptop, two minutes later I was opening my emails. I had three new ones but there in black and white was the one from Janice. I decided to grasp the nettle. "Have a look at this," I told Meems, opening up the email.

She seemed not to notice who it was from until she was half way through it. "What does she want?" she asked, a hint of anger in her voice.

"She tells you." I said sipping my tea hoping the caffeine would help wake my brain up.

"How dare she? What does she care, she gave me away, the bitch?"

It was more complicated than that, but a twelve year old wouldn't dwell on the fine detail any more than the three year old she abandoned would. "Are you not happy here with us?" I asked trying an oblique entry to the conundrum.

"Yeah, it's all right, why?" Adolescent understatement or what?

"Would you have been any happier with Janice and Laurie?"

"You know I wouldn't, so why ask?"

"I just wanted to get something straight in my own mind, that's all."

"What?" she asked looking more puzzled than angry for the moment.

"Well, I believe that Janice did us both a tremendous favour. I wanted a little girl to spoil and you needed someone to spoil you and get you mobilised again."

"Yeah, so?"

"Do you remember how you were when you first came here?"

"What d'you want, thanks?" she said laconically.

Her response threw me for a moment, "No of course not, we all know I did nothing, it was my magic red shoes, which also worked for Trish, if you recall?"

"Yeah, course I do, but what's that got to do with her?"

"I believe Janice left you with me for your own safety and I hope because she knew you would be loved here."

"We've done all this before, Mummy, what's it got to do with now, you're my mother all official, so what does she want?"

I offered her a hug and she took it, "I'm happy here with you and the others, and Daddy and Gramps. I know you all love me and I love you all. I don't believe you'd ever give me away - would you?" I felt the wet from her tears on my shoulder.

"No, my baby, I'd never give you away."

"So how could she? She chose my dad over me, didn't she?"

"It can't have been easy for her..." I felt tears in my own eyes. "Mother's don't just give their children away, unless they feel they have to."

"What like the women in Afghanistan throwing their babies to British soldiers over the fence, to bring them here for safety?"

"That's an extreme case, but yes that sort of thing because the Taliban may kill them and their babies. Perhaps, Janice thought she was in a similar situation."

"How? She could have stayed here and kept me." The tears were now making my top wet.

"Is that what you'd have liked to happen?"

"God, no," she said, "Life with you is far better than anything she could have given me and I have a proper daddy who loves me too and so does Gramps and all the others. She couldn't have given me all that, she and my birth father are con merchants or gun runners or something like that. I don't want anything more to do with them. You are my mother and Daddy is my father, all legal, they can't take me back so why don't they just piss off and leave us alone? Why do I have to have this happen?"

"I know if I lost you to someone else, I'd want to know you were okay."

"But you're not going to lose me, are you? You're not giving me back to that woman?" She began to get really upset.

"Woss goin' on?" asked a sleepy Danni, "You all right, Meems?"

"Go and get some breakfast, darling, you've got the car coming in half an hour." I didn't need anyone else here.

"What's wrong with my sister?"

"Nothing, now go and get yourself sorted," I glared and Danielle eventually got the message. I realised then, that I should have shut the study door.

"Please believe me, I am not giving you away to anyone. All Janice is asking for is to hear that you are well and to beg a photo. Now I can tell her you got all upset or I can tell her that you're doing really well in school, that your speech is now normal and we send her a photo, I've got some I took the other week, how about you choose which one. I'll even let you vet the email before I send it if you like, or would you like to write it?"

"What, tell her to piss off?"

"Would that make you feel any better if you did?"

"Not really."

"I happen to think she made the wrong choice, but it favoured me and I like to think, you as well. It also helped Trish when she came, that you were here already and helped her to settle in."

"Yes, I did, didn't I?"

"You did, you actually helped her to become a girl."

"No, she was a girl when we first met."

"She was dressing as one and calling herself a girl, but you helped her to become one, she had a real sister she could learn from and she could feel safe with. You helped Trish a great deal, she'll have forgotten now, but I was there too, you know and I saw it."

"I thought all I did was talk too loud and frighten people, especially with my lisps."

"Trish never had any trouble understanding you and neither did we, once we got used to you."

"God, it must have been awful, trying to understand me, I know girls in school used to tease me and Trish got into a fight once about it."

"If I recall, you got into a fight once for her, too."

"Fancy you remembering that," she'd stopped weeping and we were talking normally though she was still in my embrace.

"I'm your mother, Mima, it's what we do."

"Yeah, so is she, so how come she doesn't. Oh, send her a photo, and tell her what you like, but you're the only one I shall ever call mother, and she'll never get me back again."

"No she won't, but I think it would show that you are more mature than she is if you can forgive her and move on."

"Forgive her? Why?"

"Because it's better for you if you can."

"Better for her you mean?" she didn't sound convinced by my argument.

"Things would only be slightly better for her to hear from you, remember, she has lost you, the most precious thing in her life and she carried you around in her womb for nine months, gave birth to you..."

"And then chose my dad over me, she can go whistle. Can I go now?" I released her and she wiped her eyes and left me sitting in my study feeling very upset. I knew there would be no winners in this scenario, what I wanted was for there to be no losers. I don't know if I pulled it off or not. I'd go and sort myself out and change to go to the football match once I'd checked on Hannah and her sisters, sounds like a good title for a book or a film.

Meems and I eventually got to the football after chasing Danni to get ready for her trip to Reading, she was only just ready when the car came for her. Then as expected, Trish had forgotten her clean knickers for after the showers, Livvie had hers and they still share a bedroom, so how could one remember and t'other forget? I give up. That was the only text, so I grabbed some from her chest of drawers and we set off for the school.

It was half time and General Trish was marshalling her forces, standing in the centre of the circle laying down the law to her teammates. It was supposed to be a friendly, but St Claires were five one up and each team had lost someone to injury, so were down to ten-a-side. Livvie spotted us first and came to say hello before her sister followed suit a few minutes later.

"I've brought what you asked me," I said to Trish who thanked me, "I hope you haven't forgotten anything else because I haven't brought it." She looked at me for a moment, roared with laughter and went back to the restart of the game. "Did I miss something?" I asked Mima.

"If you did, so did I, remember it's Trish we're talking about, she doesn't operate on the same plane as us ordinary girls."

"No, that's a fact," I agreed.

"Six one," said Mima, that's four to Trish and one to Livvie and one to someone else."

"Just as well Danielle wasn't playing, it would probably be ten goals to one," I speculated.

"In each half," qualified Meems, "Danielle would beat both of these teams together by a margin of half a dozen.

"She is on another level," I admitted.

"Another level, this lot are in the basement and she's in the penthouse sort of level," said Mima dismissively.

"Well Trish is quite good," I tried to counter.

"For a schoolgirl, Danni is like Ronaldo compared to her and the rest of them. She's on another planet."

Despite Meems considering them inadequate, St Claire's won by nine goals to one, Trish got another two and Livvie one more as well. Trish was disgusted they couldn't get the tenth goal but the other side worked really hard to prevent it. Had they played with such dedication earlier, they may have saved a few more goals. We stopped for an ice cream on the way home and then it was lunch time. David had done us a chicken salad with new potatoes dripping with butter. I ate too much but I was putting off dealing with the email to Janice.

Eventually, I picked up the courage and was just sorting a photo to send her when Mima came in. "I'll help you write it, if that's okay?"

"Of course it is, in fact, it would be very good." I smiled at her and she blushed. She sat down at my laptop and began typing I stood behind her and watched what she wrote.

'Dear Janice,
Cathy is my mother now, I'm adopted, as is Trish. I'm really happy living with my family, I have great parents and brill sisters and I'm really glad you left me with Cathy. We're all well and doing okay in school. A while back I got a bash on the head but it cleared up my speech problems, so I sound like a normal girl now.

I wish you well but would prefer it if you didn't contact me again. I enclose a photo of me and my sisters at the beach last month.

Jemima Cameron'.

It was a bit brusque and the photo wasn't the one I had in mind but I agreed she could send it. I wondered if we would hear from Janice again and also if Meems would ever learn to forgive her, time would tell.