The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3376 by Angharad Copyright© 2023 Angharad

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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
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The next morning I dressed down before going to work in jeans and a jumper, okay the jeans were my CK one and the jumper was Gucci, one of Stella's cast-offs and I admit it suited my colouring better than hers and I've got bigger tits, so there. We were checking dormouse cages before they were rushing about like loonies, in a month or two and being the smallest, I had the joy of crawling underneath them to make sure there were no cracks or holes anywhere. I end up doing it every year so I apologise if I have mentioned it before.

In the old days, I used to do it with Dan before he went of to Southampton, before coming back to us, and then with Neal and with whom I had lots of fun. Usually, I just struggle under and he'd tell me there was a cuppa for me here, there never was of course, or he'd say something really funny and I'd not be able to move for laughing. On another occasion there was a small hole and I got a face full of dirt from it when I poked at it. I came out coughing and spluttering and a after a wash and cuppa, went back under with means to repair the hole and it took me the best part of half an hour to do it. I drilled four hole and screwed on a plate bigger than the tiny hole and then gave Neal the job of filing off the points of the screws so none of my babies got hurt by them.

David had taken the troops to school and I'd brought Danni and Trish to expand their minds, or in Trish' case, challenge the minds of any of the teaching staff she encountered. I left them at the car and wandered off to my office carrying a pair of overalls with me, a bit like a cross between the ones the police wear during forensic investigations and the thing your plumber wears, may be I shouldn't say, but my plumber wears a tee-shirt and shorts all year round, he has nicer legs than I do. He came in complaining of the cold one day and I offered him a pair of tights. He hasn't complained since.

Anyway, I poked my head in the office and it was empty, where was Diane and Manky, I mean Mandy. Oh well, I'll have to wait for a cuppa, however, I checked the kettle was full and switched on then returned to my office to await my secretarial support. Half an hour later they hadn't returned and I was getting frantic - I hadn't had a cuppa for about an hour and was starting cold turkey. I went and made my own and I had finished it before they had returned. It was time for me to play maintenance engineers for our dormouse unit.

I walked down to the labs and Debbie and John were waiting with a fresh brew and like me were dressed down for the job in hand. There were students about doing practical study but they weren't in the same room as us, a side room dedicated to dormeece. Once the tea was supped I donned my overalls and lying on my back, inched my way under the cages. Debbie knelt on the floor ans watched what I was doing as I shone my torch on the bases of the tanks. Thankfully, dormice don't seem to do much in the way of pee, that dripping on my face would mean I delegated to someone else next time. Debbie eventually followed me under and I showed her the patch I made with Neal and also what I was looking for and she seemed to understand perfectly. I informed her it was her job next year. She seemed quite happy with it but not as much as I was to get rid of it.

After another cuppa, I pulled of my overalls and returned to my office. "You're late," suggested my secretary.

I glowered at her, "I had to make my own tea this morning," I said as I went into my office.

A few minutes later she entered bearing a cup of tea. I pointed at my diary which stated 'Dormouse cage maintenance,' at ten o'clock. "Sorry I didn't see that."

"Obviously, where is the new girl?"

"Amanda is having induction this morning with all the other new starters."

"What were you doing then?"

"I took her for registration."

"Why couldn't she do it herself?"

"I like to show were approachable in the department even if you're not."

"Hang on," I said, I'm perfectly approachable, and while my minion's minion was being branded opr whatever they do," I paused for breath.

"I am no one's minion, Professor, and neither is my assistant, I'll have you know, and without us you be stuffed."

I suddenly thought 'cups of tea' and 'making my own' and suddenly the world seemed possibly more hostile. I was teasing Diane but today she chose not to play. Even Covid seemed to pale into insignificance, this was tea we were talking about and I am sure we Brits have gone to war over less important matters. Actually I think the last time it happened was in Boston and we lost, hmm, better make sure next time.

"Fine when Manky comes introduce us and I'll be my usual charming self,"I smiled to reinforce the message.

"How many times do I have to tell you, her name is Mandy or Amanda."

"That's what I said, didn't I?"

"You did nothing of the sort, you called her Manky again."

"Oops, unintentional, better warn her that I'm absent minded."

"You are as sharp as a pin so don't try to get around it with false sterotypes."

"Well, Tom has managed it for years."

"Tom is a genuine absent minded, nutty professor."

"Eh? Who told you that?"

"He did and then you reinforced it a day or two later."

"I have heard him confess to being irascible or grumpy, but not a nutty professor."

"Well, he did," she stared straight at me.

"I hope you got it on tape, he's unlikely to admit to it twice."

"No, I didn't, besides I respect him as a kindly old gent and remember all the things he's done for you."

Now I felt embarrassed, don't know why, I'm well aware of the kind things he has done for me, from letting me live there to allowing me time off for all sort of things. In return I have given him one of the best departments, the mammal survey and loads of grandchildren. I think I win on points but only because he loves them all to bits. It gave him something beyond himself to live for and I think I know that feeling more than a bit myself.

My phone rang making me jump about a foot into the air which made Diane chuckle. It was the de'il himsel' well Daddy anyway. He insisted I come to lunch with him and I told him I was going to take Diane and Mandy for lunch, "Aye, alrich there'll be three of ye," and rang off. I can hardly refuse him can I, Diane would never speak to me again, even though the world is not quite as black and white as she sees it.

"You got the gist of that?"

"I did, so you get out of buying lunch, lucky you." She left my office before I could explain that in Daddy's day the man always paid. I'm not happy with it but he won't let me do anything about it.

Amanda eventually showed up with a whole pile of bumf from the personnel department, sorry Human Resources, what a shower. She was younger than I expected and pretty rather than beautiful, although she was pleasing enough on the eye. She was wearing a skirt and knee length boots.

I asked her if they had given her any tea, and she replied that it was an hour ago. I insisted we have another to welcome her and while Diane went off to make it, I asked her if she had found her way about yet.

"Not quite, Diane is very supportive but I realise she is busy with supporting you, so we haven't really had time to do much."

"Actually it's probably better if you do it slowly because then it tends to stick, if you try to do it all in one go, you end up forgetting half of it, especially when you need to remember it."

"Yes, Professor, that was a bit like my induction, after a bit I just blanked."

"Well, Diane is the best to help you there, if you need help come and ask her or me if there is no one else. I have to get assistance to find my office some days, so without Diane I'd be lost, but don't tell her. I said this loud enough for big ears to hear so didn't need to repeat it.."

"She told me you were the best boss she'd ever had."

"Yeah, because I do as she tells me."

"I don't think she meant it that way, she said you were the closest person to a saint she'd ever met."I decided that before she said too much to change the subject.

"That's your office over there," I informed her pointing to a desk.

"Yes, I know Diane showed me it last week, she's very efficient."

"Has she demonstrated walking on water yet?"

"She told me that you're the only one who can do that." I retreated to the toilet before I embarrassed myself some more.

By the time I surfaced from the loo, Daddy was waiting to take us all to dinner in my car, thank goodness I keep this one fairly tidy, wasn't full of my fieldwork clothes, it was actually but they are tidy stowed in a box in the boot, or trunk as Americans call it. Mind you we have the bonnet, which somewhere you wouldn't place your head unless you were having a very bad day.

Lunch was a success, at least as not hearing Daddy's old stories, he spent most of the time interrogating Mandy, who being a little wet behind the ears didn't realise how much he was asking her. It was done very gently but very cleverly. I wonder if he did that to me when I was younger?

I can remember a couple of occasions when we dined together before and after my transition when my head was reeling from the conversation with Tom, of course, being young and largely innocent I was revelling in the attention I was receiving from someone I respected and held in high esteem. Being less innocent, I saw it happening and watched with fascination. Amanda is an employee of the university and he is the operational boss of said university, so he has some right to know his staff. After we finished and he went back to his office, she asked what a vice chancellor did and was.

"I take it you haven't been to university or had much to do with them," and Amanda shook her head. "okay, well there are various layers of people in a university, on the academic side you have people like technicians who set up experiments, facilitate some study, or might even teach a bit, especially technical stuff, like making microscope slides, one of our technicians is very good at it, and so is Cathy," she nodded at my office where I was reading emails and drinking tea, see multitasking.

So the technicians sometimes teach making slides for those who need to know or want to know how to do it. It's quite skilful stuff. then you have various levels of teacher or lecturer, up to reader which they call assistant professors in America. Then you have the professors and usually a dean of a faculty but we have Cathy who is like a super-professor and is effectively dean of science. She's very important. Then we have the vice chancellor who is in charge of the operational side of the university and sets the goals of the establishment. They are in charge of everyone and finally we have a chancellor who is more of a figure head, the day to day running is down to Tom.

"So I have been to lunch with three very important people."

"Well, two of them," Diane added.

" What about you, if you don't keep Cathy, I mean Professor Watts, up to date she will make mistakes or won't be as effective"

"I suppose you could put it like that, yes okay I'm important too."

"More tea slave,"I bellowed from my door,"Please."

"Don't be put off by her manner, much of it is for effect." She walked to my door, "Yes, master?" she said and we both burst out laughing. I'll never find another like her so watch what you're saying and stop showing off in front of Manky.