The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3359 by Angharad Copyright© 2022 Angharad

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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
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It was Sunday morning and Simon told me he'd watch the kids while Danni and I went for a bike ride. Everything was an effort, muscles that hadn't been used for months made their displeasure known. Danni was in a better fitness state than I was from her playing football and training quite regularly but even she was squeaking a little about her bum hurting and legs burning and we'd only done a few miles.

Then we got to the climb and I expected her fly past me but she didn't and when I asked if I was going too slow she told me it was okay. I never did discover if she could have beaten me on the climb, I suspect she could but chose not to and when we got to the top we both were hot and sweaty like dripping tomatoes. I had a drink from my water bottle or bidon which is French for a can or bottle and she copied me.

We were at the viewing space where the ice cream van is found in summer but not today the weather had been quite mild but was going to turn wet so when Simon offered, despite me being a bit tender somewhere, I took advantage of his offer. Trish had decided against, I think she wanted some neutron splitter or other and hoped he would buy it for her. As it cost just a few million I suggested she ask for two and being Trish she just didn't see the sarcasm of my suggestion. Danni and I had laughed about it as we pedalled out of Portsmouth.

She had played football on Friday night and had scored a winning goal for Bournemouth against her old team of Reading. I asked her if the university had approached her and they had in the first week, let's face it, would you pass up a chance to have an England international play for you? I know if I was running a team I wouldn't. Bournemouth were happy for her to train with the university team but were less certain about her playing because of the risk of injury and within moments the opposition would target her because her class would show from the moment she touched the ball.

I didn't understand why England had dropped her, she was still scoring goals and making them for others, I could only think it was a political act and with lots of anti-trans stuff in even the serious press it was not unexpected, even though she had not had a male puberty, so didn't have the benefit of bigger muscles or bones. But then politics permeate everything we do and while it sickens me, I can't always avoid it and people are so funny about it. I heard a know Brexiteer declaiming the government rather loudly in the refectory last week and told him that a lot of the troubles we had we caused by Brexit. He hemmed and hawed but couldn't answer me back and several members of staff patted me on the back later.

We looked over the city as we got our wind back, it looked much more romantic in the golden tones of the sun, which hid the industrial filth from our glances when our attention was gripped by the sound of a loud quarrel from one of the cars and a girl shouted something at the bloke driving it and got up out of the car, her bag was hurled out at her and he screamed off and up the hill. She was obviously upset and was standing there sobbing.

Danni walked over to her and asked if she was alright, I was left holding both bicycles so stayed where I was. They chatted for several minutes and although she was still upset they came over to me, why I don't know. "My mum is good at fixing things, tell her about it."

Punctures, even wonky wheels but romantic problems, I try to steer clear, it probably means I might live longer. Mum, this is Francesca, the berk driving off is Matthew. He has abandoned her miles from anywhere and she can't walk home in those shoes." She was wearing a pair of red courts which matched her skirt almost perfectly or so I thought. "The problem is, that Francesca hasn't any money for a taxi and there's no chance of a bus on a Sunday."

"I gave Matt the last money I had to buy petrol," she looked sad and I was weakening. "I'll pay you back," she added which probably means she will if I live to be a hundred.

"It'll cost you a bit on a Sunday, probably double, so back to town is I should think twenty quid easily." I tried to bring some reality to the situation, I hadn't said I wouldn't give her the money neither had I said I would.

"Is there no chance of Mr Angry coming back for you?" I asked.

"Oh no, he'll take a few days to calm down over this, he wanted to take me off to a quiet spot he knows and have sex, except I'm on so that messed up his horrible plans a bit and he just picked on me after that."

"Well you can't control bodily functions to a large extent," I said.

"And Mum should know she's a biologist, I'm studying it at uni and so is my sister Sarah."

"I always wanted to do something with little furry things ever since I saw that film on dormice a couple of years ago, have you seen it? They're so cute."

"She made it, the film I mean," exclaimed Danielle while I blushed red enough to alter the colour of the sunlight on the houses several miles away.

"You didn't did you?" a pointless question as Danni had already said I did. Danni was nodding like one of those things that extract oil from the ground. "Well, I'm blowed, a real tv personality."

"Not really, I'm just a biologist who happens to study dormice, the film was a chance occurrence," I said still blushing.

"Don't believe a word of it the government and granddad wanted her to make it, he works for a bank and they put up so much money."

"Wow," said the girl, "I'd love to see a real dormouse, they just look so cute."

"It's nearly time for them to hibernate, I told them trying to tell Danni surreptitiously that they should stop doing this to me.

"We're doing a survey next weekend, perhaps you could come to that," announced Danni making me start to wonder if I could kill her on the way home without anyone noticing.

"Oh, that'd be wunnerful," she said, the Pompey accent coming out in her speech as she relaxed. There is an old saying, you can take the girl out of Pomey but you can't take the Pompey out of the girl.

"I don't know if that's a good idea, it's quite rough woodland we'll be walking in and it can be quite wet if it rains." I tried to cool her enthusiasm.

"Oh, I can wear waterproofs and I love working in woodland, it's so primeval," she spoke as if the taxi was nearly forgotten. I tried to work out what was so primeval about a woodland and decided there was nothing unless it was halfway up a mountain in Canada somewhere or in a tropical rainforest somewhere in the um tropics, I suppose.

"Can she come, Mum" asked Danni.

"Don't you have a soccer match?"

"Nah, not till Sunday. I'm coming dormousing with you, remember?"

"I suppose so," we went on to discuss where she lived and I would pick her up on the way at nine o'clock, I also told her in no uncertain terms to be ready as I was leading and had to be there on time. She promised she would.

I then asked her about the taxi and she looked at her watch, "My dad might be back from golf so he can come and get me." We waited while she rang her dad who just got out of the shower, so he would come and get her. As neither Danni nor I liked the idea of leaving a teenage girl in the middle of nowhere we opted to stay with her until he collected her.

I asked if she was in school or college and she told me she was doing hair and beauty therapy at the college, the same one that Julie and Phoebe attended. I'm rather proud of the fact that they both won prizes so I mentioned it.

"Julie Cameron is an absolute legend, there are about ten girls who want to do a placement with her and there's talk she might start teaching at the college next term." That was the first I'd heard of it but we usually only talk about it once a week so as long as there haven't been any disasters we rarely talk about work. She and Phoebe were coming for dinner today and David was doing a roast dinner - scrumptious.

"She's my sister," said Danni, " want me to have a word with her?"

"Your sister wow, this must be my lucky day."

"We used to be very close, but her business with another sister Phoebe and my playing soccer professionally and going to uni, means we don't see so much of each other. Mum insists they come for dinner every so often so we can catch up with each other if Trish allows them to get a word in."

"Who's Trish?"

"Another sister, she's doing physics at uni, she's only fifteen."

"What? Fifteen and reading physics at uni? What is she, some sort of genius?"

"Probably," I said, "Cambridge wanted her but she's too young to go that far away so she doing a bachelor's degree now and may do a master's at Cambridge. Pity Steve Hawkins is dead, she'd have loved to study under him."

"Wow, how many sisters are you?"

"I think eleven at last count, but Sammi's up in London, Jacquie's in Southampton, she's teaching at the uni there. There's Meems, Hannah, Lizzie and Cate, Trish and Sarah. There was Billie as well but she died."

"That's enough for either a football team or a hockey team," said Francesca.

"Mum, adopted all of us, our house is a cross between a library and a children's home." Francesca laughed at that.

We'd been waiting about half an hour and my legs were stiffening up so I called telepathically for her dad to come so we could get home. Just then a large Range Rover hove into view and Francesca said, "Oh, here he is," and the car turned into the car park.

I cocked my leg over the saddle, "We can go now, " I said to Danni as she prepared to mount her bike.

"Wait, say hello to my dad," called Francesca. Then as her father got out of his car and hugged her I thought I recognised him, if I was right he's not someone I'd care to have as an acquaintance. "These kind ladies helped me after Matt drove off and abandoned me in the middle of nowhere, Dr Watts was going to lend me the money if I needed to call a cab. She made that dormouse film a couple of years ago and I'm going to survey some dormice next week and Julie Cameron is her grown-up daughter too."

"Well, ladies thanks for waiting with her,. I'll have words with Matthew later, though I'm blowed if I know what she sees in him. Please accept my thanks for waiting with her, you read such awful things happening to young women these days, don't you?"

"Dr Watts is a biologist and Danni plays soccer professionally and her sister of fifteen is studying physics at university."

"That's awfully young," he said.

"That's why I've kept her at university in Portsmouth she would be at Cambridge if I let her."

"A bright spark," he commented.

"She's the only one I've met with an IQ of genius proportions," I dropped into the conversation, "and this one, "I pointed at Danni, "Is a genius with a football."

"You played for England a few times, I remember that goal you scored with the overhead bicycle kick, that was you wasn't it?" he said.

"I guess," said a blushing Danielle.

"Why aren't they playing you now, with Beth Mead you beat anybody?"

"I don't think her face fits in the current squad and she as good as told them she's no longer interested, it's all politics today." I answered for her.

"If I can help," he pulled a card out of his wallet, "Just let me know, I know someone on the FA."

"Thank you," Danni pocketed the card.

"We must be off or we'll be late for lunch, bye." Before they could say anymore I pedalled off down the hill, my legs hurt as the stiffness pulled on the muscles.

"Who was her dad?" Danni called as we went down the hill.

"Only about the most notorious crook in southern England," I called back as we belted home towards a shower and roast lamb a la David.