The buzzing of my alarm clock awoke me from a frightful sleep. Slowly opening my eyes, I peered out the window of my bedroom. Darkness, total darkness. Taking a deep breath I reached up, pulled my pillow closer to me, and turned over, hoping to snatch a few extra minutes of sleep. It was not meant to be, for a few moments later, a harsh knocking came on the other side of my bedroom door. A few seconds later and the door was pushed open and there in the doorway stood my aunt.

“Hailey girl.” She whispered in a harsh tone of voice. “Wake up. We have a lot of work ahead of us.” She said as she walked into my room. I was still half asleep, but a moment later I felt the collection of blankets I've buried myself under came flying off. They were tossed down on the floor. A floor that needed me swept and mopped.

My eyes flew open and there standing over, okay hovering is the better word was my aunt.

“What time is it?” I asked as I reached for my alarm clock, a moment later I felt my hand being swatted. I quickly withdrew it and pulled it close to my chest. Confused, I looked up and saw my Aunt Cat peering down at me, a very crossed look on her face.

“If you have time to ask such questions, then you have time enough to get off that bed and into the shower. We have a long day ahead of us.” She said as she turned upon her heel. “Sidney has left already, it rained again last night so the fields are still wet. It will be a few more days before they dry out enough. The field hands though are doing some work around the shop, there is plenty of work that needs to be done. And many can't afford to lose a day's wage on account of the weather. I think they are getting the old Baker House ready. Lord knows they need to.” Aunt Cat said as she walked out of my room.

“And the time is five twenty in the morning. I'd suggest you hurry up and get into the tub. Breakfast will be waiting on you and I'll have the outfit I want you to wear already laid out.” Aunt Cat it seemed was not giving me a chance to talk this morning. In fact she seemed to be railroading me over. “Also, I talked with Sidney last night. We will not be paying you an hourly wage. But a set allowance, I've decided that that allowance would be around two hundred dollars a week. That for all the work you'll do around the house and helping me with the chores that need to be done. Also I've settled on making myself my life model. If you model for me it would be a flat eighty dollar fee, three hundred if I need a nude model and ten percent of the sale. Twenty if it's nude.”

I blinked and blinked again.

“Now hurry up!”Aunt Cat said in a snappy tone of voice as she marched out of my bedroom. She slammed the door closed behind her and the wall started to shake as she slammed it shut. And it shook for a few moments before finally starting to settle down.

“Oh dear Jesus.” I muttered as I picked myself off the floor. “What in the name of God have I gotten myself into.” I said as I stood up, and brushed myself off. It took me a few minutes to collect myself. But soon as I was walking into the hallway, my Aunt cat was coming down the hallway.

“Oh and Hailey.” She said smiling. Her smile reached from one ear to the other. “I want you to use my bathroom this morning.” She paused, “Its not becoming for a man and a woman to share the same bathroom. Now, I want you to shave every square inch of your body, that includes under the arms, your legs, your face, and of course your nether region. If we had the time, I'll take you to the Ferns, that a beauty salon in town to have something done with your hair and to get a full body wax. But, alas we time is something were running short on.” Aunt Cat said with a sigh. “I'll just have to add that to the things we need to do next week.”

I blinked and blinked again.

“Can you really find such a place here in The Landing?” I asked as I peered toward my Aunt Cat. I thought one would need to travel at least to Rolling Fork or Yazoo City to find such amenities.

“Oh there more to The Landing that you know. You've never really walked the whole of Main Street. We have several small businesses here. We even have a small library here. Its a handsome brick building with Greek Columns. There is also an Auto Repair Shop, a laundromat, a bank, and a barber shop and a beauty salon.`` Aunt Cat said smiling. “Kind of like those farm games you like to play, only this is real life and not some video game.” Aunt Cat then reached out and gave my bottom a smack, “Now hurry up and get a move on. You need to bathe, and get dressed, and I need to bathe and get dressed, plus we need to have breakfast and too many other things.”

“Yes ma'am!” I said jumping as I felt my bottom get smacked.

And with that being said, my aunt Cat left me to tend to my business while she tended to her own. A few minutes later I was stumbling into the second bathroom. The moment I stepped into the bathroom was the moment I felt my breath being taken away. The bathroom was one of those old fashion ones with porcelain tile and a cast iron paw foot tub in the corner.

I felt my breath being taken away as I filled the tub with hot water. Once the tub was half full I slipped under the warm surface of the water, the warm water took my away as it seeped into my bones and seemed to wash away all doubt and fear from me. After a few minutes of soaking, I heard the door creaking open and there in the doorway stood my Aunt Cat.

“Good Lord girl.” She said, “We don't have time for you to soak in the water.” She scolded. “The sun is starting to rise and you've not even finished your bath yet. We're on a strict time-table here.” She said as she set out a matching set of bra and panties. They were a coral pink color. “You look around a 'C' size in the bra. Consider yourself lucky and count your blessings for that. That is considered by many to be the perfect size. Not too big, not too small. Enough to fill the lustful palm of any hand.” She added.

I blinked as I eased down into the water.

“Lord Girl!” She muttered. “Your acting like you have something I've never seen before. Nothing can unsettle me, I've given birth to one child and lost another. I've seen everything known to God and man on this earth.” She said as she picked up a pink razor and a bottle of pink shaving foam that had a picture of a strawberry on the front of it. “Here, shave under your arms, now and when your done powder down and put on your bra and panties. You will find one of Cindy's old housecoat's hanging on the door. Wrap that around you and hurry down to eat.” She paused. “And consider this my final warning on the matter. I know it's common for teenage girls to run around the house in just a light cotton shirt and a pair of cotton panties. If I spot you doing that. I promise to God and Sunny Jesus girl, I will haul you down to the study and take the strap to your bottom and you'll beg for a pillow to sit upon when I'm done beating some common sense into your head.”

She paused.

“And if you take any more time, I might just take the hairbrush to your thighs and your bottom and you'll be sipping your tea this afternoon on a hot bottom. And no, no pillow to cushion the sting.” She said in a menacing tone of voice.

“Yes ma'am.” I said sinking lower into the tub.

“Hailey you need to learn one thing.” My Aunt said as she peered toward me. “Sometimes it is best not to answer every statement, even with a 'yes ma'am' any southern woman has instilled that into her daughter's head by the time she turns twelve. But since you were not born a girl, I'll overlook that little cheek just this once. But listen girl, we southern women have our own brand of justice. Sure a father might take his son out to the woodshed and beat him down till he's learned his lesson. And yes a father might pull his daughter over his lap for some correction. But a mother, and only a mother reserves the right to punish her daughter in the most humiliating of manners.” My Aunt Cat said as she peered at me.

I sunk down into the water and wished the earth would open up and swallow me.

“Do you want to know what that is?” My Aunt Cat said leaning in a little as she peered directly into my eyes. I was seeing another side of my Aunt, gone was the fun loving artist, gone was the worldly woman that I've come to love and respect from afar. Here, standing before me was the woman unmasked. A woman who at the core of her being valued her position in society more than anything else, a woman who valued her political connections more than anything else. A woman who would if given the chance toss me under the bus.

“Yes ma'am.” I whispered.

“Only a mother can shave her daughter's head. A girl with a shaved head, is marked. There is no way she can hide her sins, and all of her friends will abandon her, her peers will shun her. She will become an outcast.” Aunt Cat peered at me. “Remember that, because that is the power I hold over you, my sweet, lovely niece.” She said as she gently pulled her out of the bathroom.

“Now, remember wash your hair, shave, and powder down.” She said. “Once that done, come to the breakfast table. We have a long day ahead of us and you'll need to eat to keep up your strength.” And with that she felt me alone to collect my thoughts. Then something came over me, I don't know what it is, then I started to pray. Now I did not pray in a loud, booming tone of voice that filled the chamber and echoed off the walls. Nor did I pray in tongues, nor was it in a commanding tone of voice that turned to ice the blood of those who heard me. It was a soft murmur. Barely above a whisper.

“Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name; Thy kingdom come, thy will be done; on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread: And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.” I whispered under my breath.``

I do not know why I prayed the “Our Father” prayer. I had never been overly religious growing up. I read the Bible true enough, and knew the Bible well enough. But I did believe every word that was written in it. It was hard for me to wrap my head around the wine and bread served at Holy Communion being transformed in the blood and body of a man called Jesus. In fact since age twelve I'd only gone to church to admire the girls in their Sunday dresses.

But, I knew I needed help and right now, God it seemed was the only one I could turn to. How God felt about people like me, I'm not sure. But I had a feeling that if things kept going the way they were, then I'd soon have the chance to ask him, when I stood before him, naked as the day I'd came into this world. The only question would I'd be lynched or shot.

“I just gotta make people believe, gotta make them believe who I claim to be.” I muttered. And so with that being said and done, I started to shave, once I was done shaving, I washed my hair and rinsed once that was done I watched the water drain out of the tub. As I watched a small whirlpool form over the grate of the drain. I started to pray again. This time it was a wordless prayer.

Then something entered my head. As I toweled off, and slipped on the pair of pink panties, and slipped on the bra a often quoted Psalm entered into my head. And before I could catch myself I found myself saying aloud.

“The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the path of righteousness for his name's sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.” I said, taking a deep breath.

If there was a God, who sent his son to redeem a fallen race by his blood. Then I'm sure he would not turn his eyes away from somebody who was surrounded on all sides by wolves. And while the flat, rolling Delta was no valley, it was surely a valley to me. A valley where death waited around each corner should my true nature be discovered. And with that having been done. I reached up and wrapped the provided bathrobe around me and tied it. Time to greet the morn.