The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3331 by Angharad Copyright© 2021 Angharad

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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
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Sarah and Debbie followed me back to my office, what I didn't tell you was that the two of them began applauding as I finished, somehow it caught on and the whole theatre was standing and applauding, so I had to acknowledge them with a curtsey, which made things worse, noise-wise. I hate to think what anyone in the next theatre or upstairs may have thought.

"That was brill, Auntie Cathy. I hope you teach on my course occasionally."

"You liked it then?" I said which was rhetorical but she chose to answer it.

"That was the best lecture I ever remember attending," Sarah replied, "It had everything including humour."

"I'd have thought they'd all have heard the one about the 'hare'restorer' long ago." That was my corniest joke, but they were a good audience and much bigger than I expected our first year were."

"It was full to capacity, Diane," said Debbie, there were even people standing at the back."

"Yes, the prof does seem to have celebrity status when she lectures that we get students from other modules and even other subjects come to listen. Mind you I did put a notice up in the library, so it may have encouraged the odd one."

"You did what?" I gasped at my PA cum secretary as Nikki hadn't returned, mind you we hadn't broken any more crocks or dropped the copier toner since. Poor kid, I must find out how she is.

"You young lady, home and do some study," I said to Sarah.

"Yes, Mummy," she said as she disappeared.

Debbie's jaw dropped, "Have you adopted another one?" she said.

"No, she keeps doing it and I don't know if it's Freudian wishful thinking or she's trying to get me to allow it."

"It could cause problems when she starts here," suggested Diane.

"It could but it won't. I attended here as a post grad student when Daddy had unofficially adopted me and within a short while was calling me his daughter publically. He never taught me, officially anyway, nor marked any of my work. He did offer me advice but that was all." It wasn't quite but we stayed within the rules to prevent any allegations of favouritism or nepotism.

"So are you going to let her adopt you as her mother?" asked Diane.

"Probably not, I don't need any more daughters, I've still got a houseful of them. She also already has a mother, I'd rather help her improve the relationship there."

"It doesn't sound as if that's gonna happen anytime soon, does it?" Debbie, having had some family abuse and hostility was pessimistic."

"That doesn't mean it won't," I said with an air of determination in my tone.

"Still if you do adopt her, let me know, you take me as well." Debbie smirked and slipped through the door before I could say anything.

"Don't you dare say anything," I said to Diane who was practically helpless with laughter.

"Unfortunately, I don't think you can adopt people older than you are, she said nipping into the loo and locking the door.

"I know where you live," I said loudly to gales of laughter emanating from the toilet. Mind you, it probably didn't sound very threatening.

The rest of the day went in much the same way, the exception being that Tom invited me to lunch. I was too busy to go really, but he insisted and I gave in to keep the peace.

"Whit wis Sarah on aboot, wi' her uncle?" he asked me as we waited for our meals to arrive.

"Oh that," I blushed, I expected it to take a day or so longer for him to find out about it and thus have a few more hours to build a narrative. "Peter Dominic apparently was asked to go and see Sarah's mum by Sarah's mum."

"Aye," he nodded.

"Well she apparently went on about some internet article she'd seen about me enticing children and then converting them into girls."

"An' he believed it?"

"Yes, so he decided to remove Sarah from the house, taking her away from a supposed bad influence as he thought, and she objected loudly. I tried to intervene and he called me all sorts of names while trying to grab her. Simon came to see what all the noise was about and Peter insulted him and when Simon asked him to leave and come back when he'd calmed down, he swung at Simon, who dodged it and decked him."

Tom shook his head, "He ought tae ken better than mix it wi' Simon."

"I suppose anger makes us take risks, if he'd hit Simon who knows what would have happened."

"Thae same," he said shaking his head. "Sae is it sorted?"

"Yes, I called the police and Andy came listened to everyone, took Peter away to be checked over for concussion, and then he came the next day and so did Peter to collect his car. He apologised unreservedly and I banned him from the house and the university."

"Ye cannae ban him frae' thae university as he's done nothing wrong tae thae university. Ye can refuse tae see him, but ye cannae ban him."

I accepted he probably knew more about it than I did and agreed with him.

"Why is Sarah callin' ye maither and me Grandpa?"

"I think she's feeling isolated from her family, her mother has practically disowned her unless she reverts, and her uncle upset her over the weekend, so I think she's desperately trying to join a family she know won't judge her and accepts her as she wants to present herself."

"Aye, we'll dae that alricht."

"If her calling you Gramps is a problem, let me know and I'll have a word with her."

"It's nae problem, jest a wee bit unexpected, actually, I quite like it," he smiled to himself, so that was that. "Sae we hae anither granddochter, och weel, ye cannae hae too many."

"I thought that was shoes," I said rolling my eyes, "And I don't know what I think about her calling me mother."

"Och, ye'll get used tae it eventually, ye did wi' Danielle and Julie."

"They weren't twenty when they adopted me."

"Whit aboot Sammi, she must ha' been."

I don't know why I bother arguing with him, he's like the cat, she always wins too because they refuse to accept your argument. Mind you, most of the time it probably is rubbish; unless it's a subject I'm well versed in, I'm not the best debater. I learnt that in grammar school as you might remember and enhanced my girly reputation even more probably not helped by nearly crying after the insults became personalised.

He chatted on about his Vice Chancellor's conference and discovered most of them were paid much more than him. Some of them are paid outlandish sums but universities are businesses these days, except when we can distract them and squeeze a few educational elements through while they're not looking. Like many other universities in England we believed that we were on a gravy train, we had a good reputation for a number of our courses and were increasing facilities including living accommodation, which of course we hired out to the students, thus paying off the loans on them. Except, we were doing very nicely, with two more blocks started and along came Covid. The university has been moving figures around ever since and things of an 'unnecessary' description are sold off rather rapidly.

I don't know what the situation is now as students are returning to more or less full lectures, but I know we've lost quite a few overseas students, who pay bigger fees, so we're losing money. It's partly my responsibility, I have to try and get science papers published or the study or research supported with grants or other funding. Much of what we do is funded by Natural England, but I sometimes have to sell them the idea or put it about that we're about to investigate something I heard they were interested in.

As I drove home, I listened to the news and the reports coming out of Ukraine were heart breaking, I'll never understand that sort of situation and how it happened, but apparently the head of the Russian Orthodox church says it's a just war. It seems according to an article in the i newspaper, that Putin considers he is the custodian of the Rus empire, from about the C14th and that includes Kyiv and he is trying to restore it. That's like the Brits sending an army to recolonise India because we changed our mind about their independence.

Once I got home I sent some more money to the Disasters and Emergency Committee to supply food and so on to Ukraine. I don't know whether Nato keeping a watching and supply brief is good or bad, I suppose they consider to confront Russia would risk nuclear weapons being used and possibly that China might be pulled in on the Russian's side. After my entanglements with the Russian mafia, my thoughts were definitely on the side of the Ukraine, which was developing as a vibrant democracy, which might have been what provoked Putin, that and his megalomania supported by his church. The sooner he falls the better, he's a monster who spends most of his time in his fortress partly because he's terrified of Covid.

"Are we gonna adopt Sarah?" asked Trish while I was sitting in my study drinking a cuppa.

"I don't think so."

"Well the rest of us think we should, she needs loving parents and lots of sisters and we'd like to have her as a sister."

"Thank you for your opinion on the matter." I dismissed her but she didn't go.

"Me, Liv, Han, Meems, Cate, and Lizzie all think so, an' Sammi, Julie an' Phoebe, an' Jacquie have no objections neither." Can thirteen year olds produce faits accomplis? If so I've just had one presented to me.

"Either, you mean," I said picking her up on her grammar.

"Yeah, that too," she said smirking and left giggling.

That's the problem with your kids, they never fight fair. No wonder parents retaliate with moral blackmail, at times it is probably the only way to win, especially as you get older and slow down a bit while your kids are running rings round you. I should have considered all this before I let the first one in.

I took my empty cup out to the kitchen, David was busy with the dinner, he had told me what it was but I'd forgotten, too much weighing down my surviving brain cell. "What's this I hear about Simon thumping someone?"

"It was all a misunderstanding which we've cleared up." I tried to downplay it.

"So there won't be a rematch then?"

"No of course not. Look someone got hold of the wrong end of the stick, got a bit excited got into a bit of ruck with Si who had to clock him. Everyone is friends again so no big deal."

"So why were the police needed?"

I nearly told a huge whopper but then realised it could come back to bite me if I did. "Why don't you ask Simon about it when he's next home, I'm sure he'll give you chapter and verse."

"What better'an Sarah?"

"If you've spoken to Sarah, why bother asking me?"

"You're always telling me that newspapers don't check their facts enough, so I'm just doin' a bit o' fact checkin'."

"I'm sure Sarah gave you all the facts and more."

"Whatja mean, more?"

"Well how she felt about what happened, she must have been frightened as well as upset."

"How could her mother do such a thing to her and to you?" David was beginning to annoy me.

"I don't know, I've never met the woman nor do I wish to."

"She's a bigot, isn't she?"

"I think that epithet might fit her, but not having met her I can't say for sure."

"Why can't people mind their own business?" he said doing something to a spud.

"She is Sarah's mother, so she's entitled to voice her opinion but the girl has been diagnosed as GID and is having treatment for it, she also seems well adjusted as a young woman, so it seems she's doing the right thing, though as you well know, we can never be certain."

"No because women like to change their minds," he teased.

"And men don't?" I snorted in mock derision.

"Nah, course not, we get it right the first time so don't need no change of mind." He sounded like something out of a gangster movie.

He continued making the dinner and I went and changed out of my suit and now uncomfortable shoes, but I had been wearing them all day.

I had just settled down with a cuppa and a dissertation draft I agreed to look through when the doorbell rang and I heard someone open it and then there were voices. I was tempted to go and see who it was but I stayed where I was and began checking the introduction to the dissertation. I'm so glad I don't have to write these anymore, mind you marking them is nearly as bad.

Suddenly Danni knocked and entered my study and glanced up, she was looking very serious. "What's the problem, sweetheart?"

"There's a lady at the door who claims she is Sarah's mother and she has a copper with her."

"Okay, I'll come." It was certainly going to be more interesting than checking a dissertation, or perhaps nerve-racking may be more accurate.

"Hello," I said offering my hand, "I'm Cathy Cameron," the woman hesitated but shook it very briefly.

"I'm Daphne Spears, Paul's mother though he prefers to call himself, Sarah, he thinks he's trans or whatever they call it." A favourable impression is not what I would consider she was making.

"Do come through to the dining room, Danni, could you make us some teas?" I looked at the woman and she nodded and so did the WPC, she looked quite young and wondered what she was thinking, I hoped she kept an open mind.

We sat at the table and Danni appeared a few minutes later with a tray of tea, three mugs and milk and sugar plus a large pot of tea. I poured and handed out the mugs offering milk and sugar if they required it. She looked at the teapot and her eyes grew, okay it is genuine Spode, but they're owned by Portmeirion these days, so nothing stays the same.

"How can I help you, Mrs Spears?" I offered trying to stay calm and non-threatening.

"I'd like my child back," she said putting down her mug.

"I'm not sure she would want to come back to you and we can't ask her because she is having a tutorial with a colleague at the university." I glanced at my watch, "She'll be back in about half an hour, if you'd like to wait, you may."

"He is only just eighteen, he's still a child, a crazy mixed up one and being with you just makes him worse. You have enticed and enchanted him with your money and clever talk."

"Eighteen is the age of maturity, so Sarah, and I'm using her preferred name and gender, is an adult and thus able to make her own decisions. Isn't that the legal position?" I asked the WPC.

"So I believe, ma'am." At least she was polite.

"I believe you're keeping my son against his will and you've brainwashed him into believing he's some sort of girl, but he's not, he's a boy, you can't change sex, even JK Rowling knows that."

"She's entitled to her opinion, as are you but so are the experts and Sarah is seeing a specialist psychiatrist who deals with gender disorders. It is her opinion that Sarah is gender dysphoric and should be allowed to live as female, which she does. In fact you allowed her to do so eighteen months ago when she went to train as a nursery nurse."

I saw the WPC's eyes widen just a little at this disclosure. So far it was going my way but there would probably be some fireworks before it was over, especially when Sarah arrived.

"I hoped it was just a fad he was going through, but he's kept it up probably because he's too frightened of what you'd say if he went back to being a boy."

"No one is forcing Sarah to present as female but to my knowledge, she hasn't mentioned wanting to do so, in fact, if anything, she seems to be enjoying living as a young woman, and she makes a very attractive one."

"I don't believe you, there was an article on the internet about you and people like you, corrupting young men into becoming homos or drag queens."

"You have a very poor opinion of me which as we have never met before I find rather curious. I'm a university professor so my position is checked regularly as I'm in contact with young people in my occupation, some of whom are vulnerable. we take their protection very seriously."

"So you say, perhaps we should ask some of them," she said to me but looked at the WPC.

"Their identities are protected as well, Mrs Spears and I'd be in breach of the data protection act if I disclosed anything of it." The WPC nodded and began to look bored. I heard a car pull into the drive and looked surreptitiously at the clock, it was almost certainly Sarah. Now things would get interesting.