Sam walked with Michelle through the drizzle to see the Christmas light switched on in the town centre. She was wearing a black coat with a fur lined hood a calf length skirt, thick nylon tights and flat heeled boots. She smelled amazing, thought Sam. Her sense of style had improved massively with Suzi's help. She had cultivated her own look.
"I used to love Christmas Sam. This will be my first, with a loved one since I was a child. Tommy only gave me beans on toast if I was lucky. I would hide in my room most of the time from his drunken rages."
"I know love, we understand him now though don't we. One good thing is that I'm the one to give you best Christmas you have ever had as an adult."
Michelle snuggled into him and kissed his cheek.
"You know how much I love you don't you, you big softy."
"I have an idea. This is going to be my best Christmas too. Fiona was all show and style. Hampers from Selfridge’s, champagne, but no love, no feeling. I'd have a better Christmas with you with only a bottle of lemonade, a tin soup and a candle."
"Oh matron, what would you do with that candle?"
"I wish I'd never shown you those old Carry On films. They are pretty awful, but strangely addictive. "
"Not arf" Michelle said trying her best to giggle like Barbara Windsor.
"Come on Babs, lets go to the Christmas market at the castle."
They walked around the stalls and both chose decorations for the living room and the tree.
"We have to get a tree Sam. There's a nice on over in the corner."
"I want a real tree. That’s nice , but nothing can beat the smell of the real thing."
Michelle saw Sam was getting choked up. She didn't understand.
"Sam what's wrong?"
"Nothing love. Just a silly thought. Come on lets get back, my arms are aching."
On the way Sam stopped to look at an amazing woollen ball on top of a post box. It was the size of a large classroom globe. The outside was decorated like a Christmas pudding and inside woollen animals sat around a table eating dinner. It was lit inside by tiny Christmas lights.
"What the hell is that? It's wonderful."
"Oh of course you're not from around here are you. They do that every year here. Well for the last tree years or so. It's the Yarn Bombers."
"The what?"
"The Secret Society of Hertford Crafters, or the Hertford Yarn Bombers. They're amazing there are forty-two of those all around Hertford and the surrounding area. I used to go on a Yarn Bomber walk to take pictures of them all when I was on my own. They do it for charity. It's the Samaritans this year."
"That's blood brilliant. Don't they get stolen?"
"No. One did once, but it was returned after a few days. I marvel at how nice it is here, when you consider the centre of London is only twenty or so miles away."
They got home and left the bags in the corner of the living room. Sam made them a stir fry and they sat in front of the television watching Carry On Matron. Michelle was in hysterics, laughing at the sight of Kenneth Cope disguising himself as a nurse. The part where his father held up some black lace knickers and told him to put them on made her snicker.
"I would have loved it if it was me Sam. Look he's wearing suspenders too."
Sam thought of how much she had changed over the past few months. She used to be so sensitive about being trans. She just accepted it as part of her life now.
"I hear you and Suzi are going to London to do some shopping Friday."
"Yes, you know she's moving down to Hoddesdon soon. She got that job at the Lambeth Hospital."
"Yes, she told me. That's great, We're going to see more of her now."
"Did she tell you she's moving in with an old boyfriend too?"
Sam smiled at that remark. Women he thought. They talk to each other about relationships, but keep us men in the dark.
"What's his name."
"Angus I think she said. Probably Welsh then."
Sam poked her in the ribs. He had meet Angus. A warm ginger haired Scot, with a strange English, Scottish hybrid accent.
"Don't let Angus hear you say that."
"Oh course not silly. He's coming round with her Thursday night. I said we'd buy them an Indian.
"Not a curry,you know I hate curry."
Michelle started to playfully strangle him.
"You lying sod. You'd eat curry every day of the week if it was up to you."
"I give in Michelle. I will eatess the nasty curryisis."
The last part was said in a passable Gollem voice. Lord of The Rings was another favourite of the couple's now.
Angus and Suzi waited while Sam and Michelle plated up the food. Sam was almost dribbling at the smell of the food.
"You ordered too much Sam. We'll never eat all this."
"That's the idea, I'll have a breakfast curry. Mmm lovely."
"If I was married to you yet , that would be grounds for divorce."
"Well tell me now, cos I ain't changing."
She smacked his backside. and said;
"Don't you ever change. I love you worts and all."
They had a brief hug and served the food.
Suzi told Sam about her job during their meal. Angus was quite. Like Michelle, he couldn't get a word in. The brother and sister had a lot of catching up to do. Later they both went into the kitchen to wash up. Still talking about hospitals and doctors.
Angus looked across at Michelle as she played with her hair. He touched her hand to get her attention.
"They are quite a pair aren't they."
"Yes, they are possibly the nicest people I have ever known, they have helped me so much."
"Aye, Suzi helped me too. I was so depressed when I first met her. She helped me through it."
"Yes, Sam saved me. I probably wouldn't be here it it wasn't for him. He saved my life more than once."
"Oh please Michelle no, don't ever think that way."
Michelle could see Angus was on the verge of crying.
"Sorry Angus. Please what happened to you. Please tell me."
She reached over and held both his hands.
"I know you're trans Michelle. Suzi told me, not for your benefit, but mine. I never would have guessed, by the way. You are stunning."
"Thank you Angus, that's a kind thing to say, but why is my being trans relevant?"
"I grew up in Inverness. My best friend Finn and I were inseparable. We both wanted to be doctors. We were going to save the world. At medical school I could see he was upset and suffering, I just didn't know why. Then one day a lecture was cancelled and I came back to our room early."
Michelle could almost guess the next word's.
"Finn was dressed from head to toe as a woman. Full makeup everything. I laughed at him. God help me he was my best friend and I laughed at him. I regret that to this day. I wish I could take it back."
"Well tell her Angus. Apologize."
"I canna, she's dead."
She saw tears well up in his eyes. Glancing towards the kitchen she could hear their partners laughing. She moved closer and hugged him."
"Come on tell me the rest."
"She broke down and pleaded with men not to tell anyone. She explained she had been caught once by her father and he took his belt to her. She said she just couldn't help it. She just so wanted to be a girl."
"Yes Angus. I know how she felt. What did you do."
"My best friend was asking for my help, what could I do but help her. I said she looked pretty and I would support her whatever she wanted to do."
"That's good. Having friends is so important to girls like us. We need a lot of support and sometimes a shoulder to cry on."
"Aye, she did that many a time. I used to take her out to pubs and clubs in different towns where no one recognised her. She grew into her female life and cherished the time she had as Isla. She would come home bubbly and so happy. We would chat all night. Isla was a happier person than Finn."
She could see this was hard for Angus. She squeezed his hand and nodded for him to continue.
"I saw how my best friend needed to be a woman to be complete, and I encouraged her. She started to attend lectures as Isla. Mostly people just accepted her. She had a few comments from ignorant idiots, but she was more or less happy living full time as Isla. She was so confident, she went home dressed at half term."
"What did her parents think?"
"That was the problem. They were old school Catholics. I only got her to tell me parts of it. They had a huge row and they threw her out. After she came back to our digs I overheard her father telling her to never come home again. She pleaded with her mother, but she just told her she was dead to them. Can you imagine telling you only child that? Just because of the way she acted and dressed. They told her she was evil."
Michelle nodded and gently stroked his hair. She felt his pain recalling these sad events.
"I tried to comfort her but she was so upset. She hadn't eaten and we had no food in the flat. I was only gone for fifteen minutes, honestly Michelle. Wh..when I came back she was dead in the bath. She had cut her wrists."
Angus sobs brought Suzi running. Michelle pulled his face to her chest.
"It's alright, it wasn't your fault Angus."
Suzi knelt down and took his face in her hands.
"Come on baby, we've talked through this. It's not on you. You were the one that helped her."
"I know Suzi, but if I hadn't Finn would still be alive."
Michelle patted his head and said;
"Trust me Angus, the time she had as Isla was the happiest time of her life. If it wasn't for Sam I don't know what would have happened. I considered killing myself before I met him."
Sam was shocked at her words. He had no idea how being forced to hide who she was had affected her.
Angus jumped to his feet and hugged Michelle hard.
"Don't you ever think about that Michelle. Anything you need or want I will be here for you. Between the three of us, you will have all the support you need. I want you to become who you should be, for Isla's sake."
"Thank you for saying that. Anytime you get sad just call me or come and see me. Any friend of Suzi's is a friend of mine. Please don't blame yourself for other people's mistakes. I've seem where that leads. We are all on this earth for such a sort time. We can waste it on attacking each other, or we can help each other. Sam and his sister have shown me the way."
Sam thought he'd lighten the mood and said;
"Yeah, we're the super twins."
"We're not twins you big lummox. Anyway I'm much better looking than you!"
Suzi winked at Michelle as she said it.
Michelle looked around at the faces. These were good people she couldn't believe how lucky she was. This year had turned her like around.
"Would you please join us for dinner on Christmas day. Sam said he's going to give me the perfect Christmas. I'd like to share it with you both."
This lighted the mood further. They all went into the living room and Sam opened a bottle of wine. Soon the conversation turned to Christmas songs. Sam favourite was Greg Lake, I believe in Father Christmas. Michelle loved Fairytale of New York. Suzi's favourite was Slade's 'Merry Xmas Everybody. She impressed them by telling them that Slade make half a million every year from that song. Angus liked Chris de Burgh, A Spaceman Came Travelling, he was a massive Sci-fi geek growing up.
Sam and Michelle went to bed that night talking about what they needed to buy for Christmas day. Michelle loved these normal domestic conversations. She had the last word. After all she was the lady of the house.
Friday morning she got up and made Sam's breakfast and saw him off to work with a kiss. Suzi arrived at eight thirty and they walked to Hertford North train station.
"Are you sure you're ready for this Michelle?"
"Yes, more than ever now."
They boarded the train to London.
Later that night they had eaten dinner and they both decorated the Christmas tree. Tinsel, lights and baubles.
"Sam can you do me a favour. Kneel down and face the tree near the fire place."
"Why?"
"Just do it I have a present for you. Close your eyes."
Sam knelt down and felt the heat coming from the fire.
Michelle turned off the TV, and turned the radiogram on. After the valves warmed, Sam heard the beautiful tinkling sound of the beginning of I believe in Father Christmas.
"Oh wow you found it on a 45 so we could play it on the radiogram. Thank you."
"Look in my eyes now, what do you see? "
Sam saw the reflection of the fire in her eyes and the sparkling tinsel from the tree. He heard Greg Lake sing;
A winter's light and a distant choir
And the peal of a bell and that Christmas tree smell
And their eyes full of tinsel and fire
Michelle put her arms out to Sam and fell into them. He was crying.
"Suzi told me. Your father died at Christmas and that was his favourite song. He stood you in front the tree so you could see his eyes full of tinsel and fire. That's why you wanted a real tree. It's OK to cry Sam. You are so strong for everyone. You need to think of yourself sometimes. It's normal that you miss him. I'm here for you now."
"I miss him so much Michelle, and Christmas always reminds me. I keep quite about it, it's my problem, but I don't really enjoy Christmas because of it."
"No Sam, it's our problem. I want you to tell me all about him. He sounds like a lovely man and father."
"He was Michelle."
He hugged her close and squeezed her hard.
"Ohwwww"
He released her.
"I'm sorry I just wanted to hold you and never let you go."
"It's not you love."
Michelle unbuttoned her blouse. Sam gasped. Michelle was wearing a surgical support bra. Her saw her cleavage was real. She had a pair of 36 C cup breasts.
"Well this is your other present, but you can't unwrap it for about six weeks though."
They sat on the sofa and talked into the night. Sam told Michelle all about his father. He went to bed feeling optimistic that he would enjoy Christmas this year.
Comments
I just adore
The post box decorations. Brilliant!
Bev
xx
That's all real Bev.
That's all real Bev.
https://www.ssohc.co.uk/
I took my own pictures. I may add them later. They normally put little scenes on top , but 42 of them this year. It shocks me that they aren't stolen .
Leeanna
Lovely chapter
Really nice, Leeanna. We have local guerilla knitters in my area of York too. Heworth Post Office always gets yarn bombed whatever festival’s on. If I can work out how to upload photos I’ll try to put up the best one or two when I post the Christmas cards this week. Season’s Greetings, everyone!
☠️
Thanks Robertlouis . The
Thanks Robertlouis . The knitters do same amazing work.
To unload pictures you need to click on the picture icon on the bar above the message box..
Then you upload your picture and select it.
Leeanna
Outsiders is the Difference
Locals don't steal from one another except for the random bad egg or naughty prankster. It's the outsiders who are there and then they aren't taking what isn't theirs. I lived in the best place on earth and then oilfield moved in with their drugs, stealing, murder, and basically low life.
Beautiful story with lots of little Christmas emotions and feelings tossed in all the way though. Also some true to life. Isla is one of a few who experienced too much hate to continue with life. Only trans understand just how much internal conflict is going on. The last thing they need is the outside world especially the ones who are "supposed" to love and accept them trashing them and rejecting them.
Hugs Leeanna
Barb
Life is a gift. It's too short to waste it.
Oklahoma born and raised cowgirl
Thanks Barb. I put that in as
Thanks Barb. I put that in as a contrast to Michelle. She is having a easy ride currently. I know many of you trans ladies will say "I wish it was that easy". I'm just acknowledging, I know for most it is far from easy. Especially with family. The religious beliefs often make things worse.
x
Leeanna
Sort out the title
All the rest of the chapters use "Surgeon's", this one (#23) uses "Surgeons". This causes it to not fall into proper order with the other chapters.
They know they can survive