After a few weeks the transfer of the ownership of the house was confirmed. Michelle wrote to Tommy to let him know they were going to look over the place and tidy it up so it could be sold. Michelle wanted to sell it as it held too many painful memories.
Tommy wrote back telling her he wanted nothing from the house and she could throw out all his things. His trial was set for at least six months time, as they were waiting for psychiatric reports. He told her that his mother had left him a letter before she died. She wrote it for him and asked Tommy to give it to him when he turned eighteen. Michelle had run away before then, so the letter was still in the top draw of Tommy's old bedside table.
Tommy had apologised again for what he did, and said he had only hit his mother twice when he came home drunk. He felt sickened at admitting that, but could not take it back. He knew Michelle's mother Grace, had forgiven him, which made his guilt even worse.
They went to the house in Ware on a Saturday. They met the locksmith who was to change the front and back door locks. After drilling out the lock they all want in. Michelle picked up the mountain of letters and bills from the floor and stuffed them into a plastic bag. She would have to go through these and sort out which bills needed paying.
The house hadn't changed, Michelle thought. Still the same 1980's decor from when her mother and father first moved in. The place smelled a bit, so they set about opening all the windows to air it out.
"Michelle, why are you putting this off?"
"I just don't know what I'm going to find Sam. It's been sitting there all these years, just waiting for me. A message from my mother, that I was only meant see to when I reached adulthood."
"Come on Michelle, I'm sure your mother loved and understood you. Anyone as kind as you, must have learnt to be that way from someone. You said your biological father died before you knew him, and it certainly wasn't Tommy."
"No, it's just that knowing it's here unread, is like she is still alive waiting to talk to me."
Sam could see she was getting upset, so he did what he did best.
"Are you going to make me sing you a song, because I will. I'm just trying to think of one. Robert Plant and Alison Krauss had one, Please Read The Letter. Not sure it's appropriate though."
"No please anything but that, the locksmith will think you're weird."
He saw her laughing now. Good he thought. He knew she had to be in right frame of mind to read the letter. They went upstairs to the master bedroom. Even though it had been months since Tommy had been there, it still stunk of whisky. There were bottles everywhere. Sam opened the window as Michelle found the letter. She opened it and read it out aloud.
My dearest Michelle,
This is the hardest thing I have ever done. To write this knowing I will never see your beautiful face again. I asked Tommy to keep you away from me during my last days. He begged me to let you come but, the cancer has made me look like a shadow of myself. I would not have your last memory of me like this.
I want you to know I have always understood your true nature. I let you express yourself at home, and knew one day you would chose a path to take. If you have chosen the path I expect you to, I admire your courage. You will meet many obstacles on your journey but your true nature cannot be denied.
Remember, your true friends will love you, and not care how you look or how you dress. Keep close to those that accept you for what you are. Your kind caring nature will guide you. If only I could be there to help you my daughter. Just know my spirit will always be with you.
Tommy is not a bad man, he can be kind and understanding. Please be patient with him. He has had a hard time accepting what happened to him was not his fault. I pray that you will get on together, and he understands you.
Even though my life is now coming to an end, it was worth the pain and sadness to have and to raise you Michelle. You have made my life worthwhile. Be the best women you can be.
I will always love you. Mum
Tears were running down Michelle’s face as she buried her head in Sam's chest. Her sobbing continued as he hugged her.
"She knew Michelle, your mother always knew what you were. It's just a shame you never saw the letter when you were eighteen."
"I always thought I would be letting her down, but she knew. She accepted me as I was."
"She sounds like a wonderful woman, just like her daughter Michelle."
They kissed, and Michelle dried her eyes.
"Tommy started drinking again just after mum's funeral. He just got worse and he could barely look at me. He took her death as badly as I did. It's so sad, if he had stayed sober we could have supported each other, but in the end it just turned to hate."
"The human condition I'm afraid Michelle. We often waste our lives on hate, and don't realise until the end that we miss out on love and happiness."
"That's not me now Sam. I know who I am, and what I am. I know who my friends are and I know who loves me."
There she is, thought Sam, stronger than ever.
"Come on then Michelle. Take the things you want, the rest we will get a house clearance company to collect. I'm getting hungry."
"There are only a few bits I want of my mother's. I don't need anything of Micheal's , I'm not him anymore. Pub lunch?"
"Thought you'd never ask."
©Leeanna19 2022
Comments
Excellent Writing
leeanna, I only dropped in on this one chapter. Won't comment on the story line itself. The flow of the writing is good. You bring it to life with almost perfect stage, action, dialog in almost perfect sequence. Normally a short chapter will not pull me into the tale with the actors and actresses. This one did. I was standing there as the locksmith drilled the lockset out of the front door. I was there in the house looking at a cluttered mess left for months. I looked at the empty bottles dropped when empty scattered around the room as she read her mom's letter.
Lady, that is great writing skills.
Hugs Leeanna
Barb
Life..., not what do I deserve but what can I make of it.
Oklahoma born and raised cowgirl
Thank you Barb, try chapter 8
Thank you Barb, try chapter 8. That seems to be a popular chapter.
Leeanna
I suspect,
there's a lot of you in that letter Leeanna.
Wish I'd got a letter like that from any of mine.
Good writing,
Bev.
xx
Alcoholics
I have seen what's left behind when a "real" alcoholic has been the inhabitant of a room or small apartment. What nobody tells you is that they don't bother with going elsewhere to defecate or urinate or vomit. They just open another bottle. Food is irrelevant.
Anywhere that Tommy had been would stink like the worst toilet you have ever experienced or imagined. That house would need to be thoroughly fumigated and industrially cleaned from top to bottom, and still would be difficult to sell.
Michelle and Sam should go and get that pub lunch (if they could actually stomach it) and never return.
Get some insurance and have a
Get some insurance and have a convenient fire. No Michelle needs money for boobs an other bits. It seem the NHS route can take 4 years plus. So find a surgeon (Not Sam) who does this kind of work.
Leeanna
Another fine chapter
Michelle's mom knew about Tommy's past, judging by what she put in the letter. And it wasn't Tommy's idea to keep Michelle from visiting mom, but mom's desire.
Mom seemed to be a soothing influence to Tommy, since he really dived into drinking after mom died. She seemed to be able to help him get through life when memories hit him.
That house does need sold because of it holds more bad memories than good ones, or the bad memories have a stronger hold than the good ones.
Michelle should also keep Tommy in her life. He's finally getting the help he needed growing up, and Michelle being there for him can go a long way in letting him know he's still wanted. And isn't rejected because of the demons he lived with.
Others have feelings too.