Michelle sobbed herself to sleep. Anger, sadness and fear made a tight ball in her chest that prevented her from breathing easily. Eventually she dropped off. When she woke she had that brief feeling of amnesia, then the full reality of what had happened the night before came rushing back.

She had no money, but had to leave. She had thought she had found someone who actually accepted her for just being her. The disappointment was raw in her mind while she sat up in bed and considered her options. The only place she could go was back home to her stepfather. If she did it would mean giving up being Michelle. What could she do? She couldn't stay here after last night.

She made the call.

"So what do you want you little pussy. Want me to show how to be a real man?"

"Dad, I need to come back for a little while. Is that OK?

"Why should I let a little queer like you back in the house?"

"You know half the house is mine. Mum left it to both of us. I could force you to sell to pay me off."

"Then you'd never see the place again. I know how fond you are of the place you used to ponce around in dressed as a sissy girl."

"Listen I don't want to argue. I'm coming home tomorrow. I'll stay out of your way, you won't even know I'm there."

"Don't try to throw your weight around with me princess, or you'll feel the back of my hand like you used to."

She put the phone down. This was her only option. She was scared of what he stepfather might do. He had tried to bully her into signing over her half of the house a few times before. He was still a violent drunk.

She went downstairs to make herself some breakfast wrapped in a silk kimono she had found in a drawer. She would miss being Michelle so much, but she couldn't stay after what she had said to Sam.

On the table was a letter. She expected it was notice to terminate her tenancy. She opened it and read it.

My dearest darling Michelle,

Please accept my heart filled apology for my thoughtless actions last night. I couldn't sleep thinking of how I must have made you feel. I don't think you are a freak. I think you are a precious butterfly that I have been privileged to witness and help emerge from its cocoon.

Please forgive me. My actions were one of a doctor who seeks to heal. Being a surgeon I try to help through surgery, and sometimes forget that surgery is not the only answer. The trans people I meet all want surgery and I just wrongly assumed you were the same.

You are a women, whatever path you take, and it tears my heart out to think what I carelessly did to you. Please don't go. I want to help you along your journey and to help you realise what wonderful person you are.

If you go, just know I will always be here for you, to offer an ear, a hug or advice. It is a privilege to have known you.

I have to work late today, and won't be back until nine. I won't call. I will leave you to make your own decision. If you go just turn off all the lights. If you decide to stay, please turn the living room light up full with the curtains open. I would just like to know if I'm walking into a house of warmth and love or empty shell.

Before you decide, please turn on the radiogram. There is a message from me to you ready to play.

Tears were falling on to her kimono as she went through to the living room. She turned on the radiogram.The record had started to play before the valves had warmed enough to allow the sound. Then it came fading in, until she heard.

You're everything I hoped for
You're everything I need
You are so beautiful
To me

You are so wonderful
To me
You are so wonderful
To me
Can't you see

As Joe Cocker voice filled the room she collapsed on to the sofa and sobbed.

Sam had hard a hard day at the hospital. He found it hard to concentrate. He had nearly called Michelle several times during the day but had resisted. This had to be her decision. His heart started to beat faster as her neared the last corner to their house. He had forced himself not to speed on his way back. He was desperate to find out what she had decided.

As he turned the corner, he was startled. Every light in the house was on. All the curtains were open and some of the windows had lamps glowing in them.

He parked the car and ran to the door. She was staying!

©Leeanna19 2022