I’d been reared in a good family with decent parents who ran a mom and pop grocery store. They’d met at high school and never so much as looked at any one else since. Dad’s grandfather was a sailor who came from Leningrad which is now called Saint Petersburg though it may have been called Petrograd when he lived there, but he died before I was born. According to Dad he was a tiny tough man with a heart the size of a barn and he set the standards that the family all choose to live by to this day. I was one of eight with five sisters and two brothers. I was the youngest of the boys and number seven in age. My parents didn’t go to church and took a rather dim view of those who did. They often referred to them as hypocrites who even with the guidance of their church didn’t know how to treat people properly. Treating people properly was a family line in the sand and treating women properly was a yardstick Dad measured all men against and most failed to measure up. Without doubt Dad and his sons, including me, would have been classified as blue pill simps by the mgtow fraternity, but with the example of our parents’ marriage behind us and the successful marriages of our sisters’ beside us we boys had no reason to believe anything else lay in store for us, and indeed my brothers married decent women and their expectations were realised. All of my siblings’ marriages were happy and only ended when either they or their spouses died.

I know it is all different now, but in those days when Trump was rapidly becoming just another president in a long list who in the great scheme of things had not achieved a great deal, neither good nor bad, and was someone school kids had never heard of gender politics was destroying not just the nation but a lot of the western world. The media were constantly full of the results, men who’d been wealthy committing suicide rather than face a life of homeless poverty imposed on them by a divorce court. Men being gaoled for non payment of alimony they didn’t and couldn’t earn enough to pay. Men being ordered by a court to pay maintenance for children DNA tests clearly showed couldn’t be theirs. Men just running for the hills and dropping off the grid in every sense. I’d heard estimates of anything up to twenty million men were out there somewhere living with no utilities, no phone, no bank accounts nor credit cards, only working for and using cash or barter and not bothering to collect pensions. They simply disappeared and didn’t exist any more. There were rumours of small towns in the middle of nowhere with no roads for miles just inhabited by men, some were said to be inhabited mostly by veterans and run on military lines. Even more tragically we were by then on the second if not the third generation of men and boys who knew any involvement with women was dangerous, life threatening, so they just didn’t bother. Spermjacking had long passed into use as an everyday word that all understood, and there were male doctors who made a handsome living by performing vasectomies at very affordable prices on boys who hadn’t yet left school.

There were significant numbers of men and boys who had become mgtow and eschewed women altogether and the feminists were in a constant state of meltdown about it. It was to be a couple of decades before a modicum of sanity was restored anywhere. Initially it was a couple of republican states that spearheaded the way with legislation levelling the disproportionate power of women in relationships. The woke and the feminists were outraged and their demonstrations were always accompanied by violence. People died in the riots and a good many feminists ended up behind bars with none willing to listen to them. For a while those two states were referred to as the red pill states. Those were dangerous times requiring the deployment of tens of thousands of State troopers and National guards on the streets to ensure public safety. Eventually the violence became so extreme that The Insurrection Act was not considered adequate to deal with it and The Posse Comitatus Act was repealed till further notice to enable US troops to be used to maintain order on the streets.

In the liberal democrat states women’s lives had fallen apart because by then other than the woke men, few of whom had any practical skills to offer, men only dealt with women for cash, up front. Because so few women knew anything about manual skills if they wanted their car or their house maintaining they had to pay the money up front because the men who had the necessary skills no longer were prepared to risk being refused payment after doing the work. Because there were so few men willing to deal with women at all they had to do it themselves, pay whatever was asked or go without. It was a seller’s market and women’s usual medium of exchange was no longer over priced. Sex had become a buyer’s market because the market was saturated and most men just weren’t interested. Naturally enough the states where men got a better deal was where huge numbers with skills they could live off chose to live and the economies there prospered mightily, but it was wealth the feminists and the woke couldn’t tap into because you had to work to earn. After the changes in the initial two red pill states the next twenty years saw significant numbers of bankrupt democrat states with collapsed economies following suit with gender levelling legislation and gradually that became the norm everywhere, but it was very gradual.

Looking back I suppose I was the unlucky one of my siblings, or maybe because my brothers were brighter than I it was my ability to find and chose a decent girl that was somehow faulty. I’d never had any trouble finding girls to date in spite of only being five foot seven, no more than passably good looking and of moderate intellect. Problem was most of them treated me badly, cheating on me, using me as a meal ticket when they had nothing better in their sights, and by the time I was seventeen I was regarded as a joke by the other males I knew and as a second best willing to open my wallet by the girls. By the time everybody else was going to college I was aware of the situation and I’d given up on women. I wasn’t a declared member of mgtow, but I was certainly thinking that way. Women were just too risky a proposition and spent what little money I could earn a lot faster than I could earn it. It hurt because I knew I was a decent guy and I couldn’t figure why being a decent guy got me treated so badly when the guys I knew who were so popular spent their entire existence abusing women who seemed to accept if not actually enjoy it. Dad told me I just hadn’t found the right girl. Mom said that there were decent girls out there but they were becoming rarer and when I found one I would be in an ideal place to rear my sons and daughters properly. I didn’t want to go to college, because I knew I was only borderline clever enough and I didn’t want to spend a lifetime being barely adequate. So I took an apprenticeship as an electrician where the brains I did have put me at the top of the ladder. It was a good decision. Ten years later I was a highly qualified electrician, earning a reasonable amount and renting a decent place of my own. Those popular guys had degrees in bullshit, were earning nothing and still living with their parents.

~o~O~o~

I was twenty-five, and in spite of earning more than enough to be attractive to girls whom I considered to be gazetted gold diggers I hadn’t been on a date for years and I was in charge of a complete rewire of the local Revalon, a big five star hotel which was a middle sized member of a group that had a presence over the entire US. Most states had dozens of hotels, bistros, restaurantes and probably a lot more besides, and it was company policy that they intended to expand their presence in every state. The hotel had closed for the work which had been scheduled for over two years, so we were working against the clock because of the contractual time penalties. The bosses of most teams at the company I worked for just supervised the job, but I’d always involved myself at the sharp end because it got the job done faster, and most importantly to me that enabled me to find and solve any problems faster that way. My team knew I was always open to suggestions, and if I and the other team members considered it worth a try I would go for it and wait for results till we, not I, decided whether it was better or not. It also meant because I worked along side the team I got along with my guys a lot better than most supervisors and my team would take criticism and advice from me. In all the other teams that would have led to them walking off the job.

Malcolm my boss had told me that was why I was bossing the Revalon job because the timing was tight and being late delivering could take all the profit out of it. He reckoned I had the best team to bring the job in on time and offered me a considerable bonus if we came in ahead of time. I’d told him if he offered the bonuses to the entire team I’d guarantee coming in ahead of time and if he didn’t I’d tell the team what he’d said and share my bonus with them. He laught and said I could have it my own way and he’d cheerfully pay the bonuses and buy me and the guys a drink if we delivered. I’d told the team about the deal and Tommy, who was unbelievably fast at low amperage wiring and so did little else, said, “Fuck the bonus, Boss, I’ll do anything to take a drink off that old bastard.” There was a lot of laughter at that, but the work got done faster than any one could have reasonably expected.

I’d been laying in the main service cables that supplied the kitchens and returning from my van after fetching a box of glands to secure the cables into the main kitchen distribution boards when I met Faith. There was a lot of mess on the floor, all created by us. It made no difference to us wearing heavy work boots, but she was wearing heels and slipped on a piece of the greasy waxed paper that many electrical components were wrapped in to protect them whilst in storage. I saw her step on the paper and dropped the box of glands in time to catch her before she hit the floor. It was a long time since I’d had a girl in my arms and I’d forgotten how soft their bodies felt. The experience floored me even if I’d prevented it flooring her. I was sure I held onto her for a fraction longer than was necessary or polite, and I was sure she knew it too.

“Thank you,” she said. “I’m very grateful. I shouldn’t really be in here. I was warned it could be dangerous, but it’s much quicker going this way than going the long way round to the secretarial pool. I’m Faith, Faith Senneston, and you?”

“Nick, Nikolai Volkov. You okay? I did grab a hold of you kind a firmly didn’t I. Sorry about that.”

“You did didn’t you, but that’s okay. You’ve nothing to apologise for. I’d rather that than hurting myself hitting the floor. May I at least buy you a coffee as a thank you?”

“I’d like that, but not till after I finish work, the time penalties on this job are punitive and I doubt you’d be able to afford a coffee here at their prices. I wouldn’t expect you to lay that much out as a thank you for doing what any half decent man would regard as a privilege.”

She had a look in her eyes that I couldn’t read at all. I was looking at her hard and I saw a reasonably pretty woman probably in her early twenties. Five two, slim, short styled brunette hair with brown eyes that seemed to be much more intelligent than mine. I presumed she was a typist, or secretary possibly even a PA from what she’d said before.

“What time do you finish?”

“When I get these cables laid in and connected, probably eight, possibly nine. Then the distribution guys can start at this end too. They’ll work overnight. Why?”

“I’ll be here at eight and wait till you’re done and take you for that coffee. Okay?”

She seemed determined, so more than interested in her I agreed. Her watching me finish was unnerving, but at twenty past eight when I handed it off to the distribution guys I said, “Okay, coffee time.”

She smiled and asked, “You reckon I can afford two coffees at Mc Donald’s?”

“Well I won’t feel guilty letting you buy me a coffee at their prices.”

We were there till gone eleven when I drove her back to the hotel. She said she was using a staff room because she had to be at work at six due to the rewire. She asked me what I was doing the following day and I told her I had to do the electrical safety tests on my work and that of the distribution guys and would be at work for seven and there for as long as it took. “What do you do for lunch?”

“I take a lunch pail and eat on the job at about twelve.”

“May I join you?”

“Sure, but I eat fast so I can get back to work as soon as possible.”

She smiled and said, “Yeah I get that. The time penalties.” We both laught at that.

I don’t know how it happened, but after that we had a lot of coffees together, and usually had lunch together too. Faith bought as many coffees as I did because she insisted on paying her way. It wasn’t what I was used to, but she made it impossible for me to do other than accept and for sure she was no gold digger. In the past I’d resented being seen as a meal ticket, but even though I truly respected her unwillingness to treat me that way I felt guilty about feeling so safe with her. Somehow it seemed unmanly, but paradoxically I knew if she’d been willing to let me pay for everything I’d have seen her as just another freeloader like all the other women and girls I’d ever met, and that would have had me running for the hills too.

Eventually the job came to an end, three days early which meant a very welcome twenty-seven hundred dollar bonus to me, and I realised I would miss Faith. We’d never even touched other than our first contact and I’d not seriously thought about it. Faith was someone I liked and the only woman, other than family, I’d felt comfortable with for years. At lunch that last day she said, “Nick, I want to keep seeing you. You okay with that?” I suppose I was relieved because I didn’t want to say goodbye to her forever and she was different, special. She’d no obligations to me, but she had never abused me nor my wallet, quite the contrary, and though she had never mentioned issues of feminism to me it was clear that she believed women had a right to do all that men had considered their sole prerogative from time immemorial, but then in return they had to pay the same price for them that men did. Up till then the only time we’d used a taxi, it was a hotel limo and she’d said, “It’s okay I’m allowed to use one free. We all are as long as one is available.” For our first ‘official’ date I took her to a movie and then out to dinner at a small Italian place I knew well. It served great food at a price I could afford. She was impressed by the food and even more so that the owner addressed me by name. “You eat here often, Nick?”

“No. I can’t afford to eat out often, but the guys and I all use the place and Antonio knows us all. He’s a decent guy and because we patronise the place and try to promote it he gives us a discount.”

Faith and I became a kissing couple and usually saw each other two or three times a week for six months or so. Several times she said she had to accompany one of the directors to business meetings at one of the other places owned by Revalon, but she was never away for more than five days. I asked her what it was like flying to far away places in a private jet and what did she do there. She said there was nothing worth doing and nothing to see in a plane so if she didn’t have any work to catch up on she went to sleep. She told me that the meetings were usually boring and just a lot of self important men puffing themselves off and stating the obvious, and that despite everything being recorded mostly she listened and took notes of the little that would matter. In all that time she insisted on paying her way. I kind of got used to it, but it never seemed right. We went to watch football games, hockey games, baseball games, plays, films, recitals and just about everything else you could imagine, but most of all she enjoyed watching my nieces and nephews playing or cheer leading and she was reduced to tears watching the little ones in the Christmas nativity play. She was fond of walking, along the shore, in the woods, anywhere where it was kind of natural and she was enchanted by wildlife. I got the impression she’d never been out of cities much. What surprised me was she didn’t want to go shopping, especially window shopping. She explained to my sisters that she didn’t enjoy shopping because there were so many things that she thought were much more fun to do. My family, especially my sisters, were naturally inquisitive about her, but she was reticent and gave away little.

I knew little about Faith, only that she was twenty-two had left school at sixteen when her parents had died in a plane accident and had been working at the hotel ever since. I also knew she had no siblings and her only relative was an unmarried cousin with a young daughter, but she’d said there wasn’t really much to know about her and it didn’t seem to matter. When I’d asked her what she did at the hotel she’d laught and said that mostly she looked at pieces of paper and then moved them from one pile to another. Eventually I came to consider that she was the decent one my Mom and Dad had said I would find. It took me a month to summon enough courage to propose. I couldn’t do one of those highly public proposals, because to me they seemed to be making a public display of what should be a private matter, a bit like changing your underwear on a busy side walk they lacked dignity. I know, I was twenty-six with the mind set of my Dad, but that’s how I’ve been happy to be all my life, my brothers too, and my brother in laws are little different. Dad calls it decency.

My proposal was a quiet matter over a seafood dinner at a reasonably priced place on the harbour that served what the local fishermen caught out in the bay. I was familiar with the place, and you never knew what would be on offer because it was always that day’s catch. It couldn’t have been any fresher, and whatever was on offer was always superb. The décor was a bit shabby, and they were always rushed, so service could be a little slow, but no five star place like the Revalon could offer better food. Faith was seriously impressed and asked, “How can they do this at their prices, Nick?

“Easy no middle men. When the boats come in Frank walks down to the quay, buys what he wants and it’s delivered and in his kitchen within fifteen minutes. Same with the guys who collect shellfish, they just bring it here and he buys the lot. He cooks the shellfish soup in a steam cleaned fifty gallon oil drum and any left over he packs up in vacuum flasks for the fishermen and shellfishers to take the day after. There’re only family work here and all is preprepared and ready to cook as soon as the first customer walks through the door. Same with the vegetables, all grown locally within a few miles. Some like the kangkong you enjoyed with the lobster are grown by the Chinese gardeners on the community gardens specially for him, but most are just general vegetables though his are delivered directly and never see a market. All his waste is collected by the gardeners for composting.”

“I’ve lived so close to so many of these places you’ve taken me to and I can’t believe I was unaware of any of them. They all served exquisite food. Are there any not so good places.”

“No because they don’t last long. Places that sell food get good fast or they get broke even faster. Guys like me get to know them fast. I grew up here and Mom and Dad sell stuff to some of them, so I had a head start, but even guys that come in from out of the city to work get to know pretty fast because it’s all they can afford, and other guys that have a trade will always wise another up as to where to go. If you don’t know any of them and grew up here you must either have too much money or don’t eat much or maybe you just do all your own cooking. Guys that work need big portions even if it is mostly potatoes, pasta or rice. These small eating places all know that and their main clientele is probably at least fifty percent single working guys who don’t cook much.”

Faith flushed and said, “Well, I admit I like to cook, but you know I don’t eat much. How many of my meals have you finished for me? I don’t know where you put it all without getting fat.”

“Mom always said the same, about my brothers and Dad too, but like I said guys that work need to eat a lot. Guys that do office stuff not so much.” I shrugged my shoulders and added, “It’s just how it is.”

The ring I offered Faith was not expensive, a tiny diamond surrounded by eight even smaller cubic zirconium. Her delight and subsequent kisses were all I had ever hoped for in my entire life. Frank announced to the entire place, “He asked and she just said yes, so their food is on the house and I’ll send over a couple of cold ones to wash it down with.” The cheers were deafening and Faith was amazed that guys, there were very few couples in there, who didn’t even know us were so generous and happy for us.

“That’s how working guys are. Most of us are pretty frightened of women really. I’m sure you understand that, but deep down I think we all wish that relationships between men and women could be civilised again and this state of open warfare that has existed since before most of us were born was over. They see something good and it makes them happy, but most are certainly glad it’s me and not them going to be marrying you, for most probably believe you are going to completely waste me before long. But for all that they are happy for us.”

“Do you believe I’m going to trash you before long, Nick?”

“No, but I recognise the possibility. I never was any good at choosing girls when I was in high school, and I’ve never dated since. You are the only woman other than the women of my family I have ever felt comfortable and safe with. Mom and Dad and my brothers and sisters all have good marriages and I suspect they will go the distance because we all live by great granddad Volkov’s beliefs. I’ve told you about that.” Faith nodded. “I just hope I will be as lucky as them. I love you and I do believe you love me, but though I may not be as clever as you I’m not stupid and I do know that bad things can happen to good people.”

We were both a bit worse for wear due to the free alcohol every one insisted on buying us, so I said I’d leave the van at the dock. Faith said she’d ordered a cab when she’d gone to the bathroom. It was a limo that arrived from the hotel, but I thought nothing of it. In the limo Faith said there were things she wanted to tell me, but only when we were both completely sober. She said it was her turn to buy dinner next and she would collect me at my place on Friday at eight and book somewhere. I just said, “Okay.” The limo dropped me off at my place before taking Faith home.

It was no surprise on Friday when the limo arrived, she’d used one a number of times before and I knew the staff at her place of work were allowed to use them when they were available, and it was more comfortable than my van which a workmate had taken me to collect. She was dressed like a million dollars and I was too involved in her to ask where we were going. I couldn’t believe it when the limo pulled up at the Revalon where she worked. Everyone knew the hotel restaurante was permanently booked up for dinners for nearly twelve months in advance, longer for special days, and even A listers had to wait their turn. “Faith, I know you work here, but there’s no chance of a table. I appreciate you wanting somewhere special, but we’ll get threwn out on our butts, and anyway we can’t afford it.”

“Shush. Just go with the flow, Nick. All will be okay. Trust me.” The chauffeur opened Faith’s door and the doorman at the hotel opened mine and with a hammering heart I accepted Faith’s hand into mine. I was stunned when we were bowed in with no questions and escorted to a secluded corner table that must have commanded a premium price. I somehow felt like I was being stared at by those impassive faced doormen and waiters as if they thought I didn’t earn enough to be there, but I put that down to nerves because I knew I didn’t earn enough to be there. Faith didn’t order, and I was not asked to. After an aperitif, the food just arrived. I’d no idea what that meal was going to cost, but it had clearly been ordered with no regard to price and I’d never eaten anything anywhere near as well prepared. I was in a dream and the service was the most attentive I’d ever heard of, still I supposed that’s what people paid for. I enjoyed every mouthful and with Faith behaving so normally to consider what the price would be and what the consequences were going to be seemed positively bizarre and surely I wouldn’t be sent to gaol for not being able to pay for a restaurante meal. After eating and having a glass of armagnac that would have cost me a month’s pay I asked for the check to be told with a smile it had been taken care of. We were escorted to the elevator where Faith inserted a key and pressed the button at the top of the line. I’d been too intimidated to make anything other than inconsequential conversation since I’d entered the hotel, and since Faith seemed to understand what was going on I’d trusted her. Faith took my hand and the elevator opened into a penthouse suite. She indicated I was to sit on one of the luxurious easy chairs and said, “There are a few things I have to tell you, but I’ll make coffee first if that’s okay?”

I nodded and said, “I don’t get any of this. What’s going on? Who are you? What are you? And why am I here?”

Faith smiled and left to make the coffee which I could tell by the smell was a very expensive Turkish blend. My parents sold dozens of different types of coffee beans and had a special mill for customers who wanted them ready to go. Faith’s opening question completely phased me. “Do you love me, Nick?”

I immediately replied a little testily, “Of course I do. I wouldn’t have asked you to marry me if I didn’t.”

Her second question didn’t phase me anywhere near as much as her first. “I’m trans. Do you still love me?”

It took me a few seconds to respond because I didn’t want to be insensitive, but Faith whatever she was was still the girl who’d set my heart racing when I’d had my hands on her butt with her breasts pressed to my chest to prevent her fall. “Yes I still love you, and I still want to marry you, but what is going on?”

“As you know my name is Faith Senneston. You know my parents died when I was sixteen. What you are not aware of is after Dad died I became the sole owner of the Revalon chain. He’d been training me to run things since I was born because Mom couldn’t have any more, and I’ve been doing so since he died. Mom and Dad knew I was trans from me being barely able to walk and I’ve never lived as a boy, so I’ve no idea what that is like. All the senior staff in the organisation know about me and we have a discreet but enforced policy of being LGBT+, disabled and race friendly. I won’t tolerate any form of discrimination in any part of the organisation, especially against men. There are no militants of any persuasion working for me, or at least they don’t for any longer than it takes us to apprehend them. Any customer who does not respect that is never welcomed back. You’d be amazed at some of the names on our list of people who are banned. As a result we have a high proportion of minority employees and a low staff turnover. I approve for obvious reasons, but it’s good business too. I was privately educated and though I left school at sixteen I did graduate from high school and I subsequently did a distance learning degree in business administration, in which I now have a Masters. I had my medical procedures as soon as I turned eighteen. This suite is my primary home, it’s where I grew up, and the table we dined at is always kept available for me. The senior staff here are special to me because they took over as parents when Mom and Dad died. They all regard me as their little girl and it’s nice.”

Faith chuckled before continuing. “The staff that came to inquire that everything was okay during our meal were all far more senior than waiters and were really there to check you out. They all knew you’d proposed and I’d said yes. And I could tell they all approved of you. I also have another confession to make. Going through the kitchens was not the quickest way to the secretarial pool. I was looking for you. I’ve good hearing and I’d overheard some disparaging remarks about you made by a couple of the workmen who were tiling the floors. They thought you less of a man for treating women with courtesy, and that’s rare these days. I was intrigued, so I went looking. I didn’t plan to slip and fall, but I’m glad I did. I have been looking for a good man for almost as long as I suspect you have been looking for a good wife. All I ever found were not very nice men who were clearly more interested in my bank balance than in me. I hope I’ve found what I’m looking for because I do love you.”

It was my turn for a decent break, but I hadn’t expected to find a billionairess who’d fallen in love with me. As a result of meeting me Faith set up a complete department whose function was to source all foods locally for each and every establishment in the Revalon chain. The brief was to source as much as possible straight from the source and to use the markets as little as possible. That was when I realised two things, Faith was very good at her job and the improvement in the food quality was remarkable considering how good it had already been. She’d diversified her interests and had bought farms, fishing vessels and negotiated contracts with growers, gatherers and even truffle hunters. She also arranged a fleet of small jets, boats, trucks, vans and even motorbike couriers to ensure freshness of supplies. I never knew what she was going to do next, but life was exciting. One thing she insisted we did regularly was eat at the small places that I had introduced her to. I asked her if that was her yard stick for quality control on what came out of her kitchens. She told me that was certainly a fringe benefit, but no the real reason was because they were the places she fallen in love with me and that was precious to her.

Faith and I were happily married for sixty-two years before her heart failed. She wore that cheap engagement ring till her arthritis made it impossible and then she wore it on a chain around her neck. As she’d requested years before she was buried wearing it. In those years I’d managed the maintenance of her empire, a job I loved and was more than qualified to do. We’d originally been looking into adoption, but then her cousin died in a road traffic accident and we adopted Georgina who is now running things and will inherit it all when I am gone, and she’s every bit as clever and tough as Faith so all will be in good hands.

I suppose I should add that the woke and the crazy feminists are now consigned to history along with the race issues and society is better off from every one’s point of view whatever their race, gender or sexual orientation. What did it in the end? Simply money, or at any rate the ability to put food on the table. In the crazy times of hunger those who got on with and coöperated with their neighbours lived better, in many cases they lived as opposed to died. Anyone moving into a good neighbourhood had to live by the same rules or they were forced out, or buried, for none were allowed to upset what would have been a fragile prosperity at best in those days. There are areas that have not embraced the new social norms, but it is noticeable that their populations are shrinking and those who remain there are hungry. The old red blue divides of both types have gone and for the first time government is now, to misquote something that once would have been familiar to all, truly ‘of all the people by all the people and for all the people’. Faith and I lived in interesting times, but unlike most we were happy and enjoyed our lives together even if we became much less wealthy. The tragedy of it all was the feminists hurt and destroyed the lives of tens of millions of men, most of who survived and emerged strong at the end of the feminista purges as they came to be known, but in doing so they condemned tens of millions of women and their children to death. Death from cold or starvation is no way to go, especially for a child. The only reason that many times more children didn’t die was because in places where gender levelling legislation had been introduced they lived with their fathers who could feed them.

Faith had always maintained, “Men and women are not the same. They deserve the same opportunities, but all must know their place and accept that which cannot be changed. I was born a terribly damaged woman and I miss that I never had children, but I accept that, for that is my place, my reality, and I am truly grateful for the wonderful life I lead, most of which, my belovèd husband, is not due to my choices but yours.” I feel pretty much the same looking at the coin from the other side, for most of what made my life so good was that I had Faith in it.