As we went home in the bus, Petra told me about her home…it sounded so nice.

 

Orphan 23

by Susan Brown

 

Previously:

‘Hello Steph, I’ve spoken to Petra’s mum and dad and they seem nice. They told me in confidence about Petra and I can see why you two have become friends. It will be okay for you to stay with Petra’s family for the weekend. When you get back from school, bring Petra with you and her parents will pick you both up from here. It’s not that unusual for our girls to stay with school friends so don’t think that you are being treated in any way different from them. I’ll see you later, bye.’

‘Bye Matron and thanks!’

I put the phone down and grinned at Petra.

‘I can come!’

After school, we were back in the heavy formal uniform and on the bus. Petra was sitting next to me and I was miles away, wondering what it would be like to be on a sleepover as a girl. Would they like me and accept me for what I am. It would be different from Petra situation. Her parents accepted her as a daughter out of love. They didn’t know or had ever met me.

What had I let myself in for?

And now the story continues…

As we went home in the bus, Petra told me about her home…it sounded so nice.

‘We live on a farm, we have cows, sheep goats and pigs. We have several fields and a couple of meadows. It’s great because I get to go and feed the animals and I have a horse too!’

Listening to her, I was a bit envious. She had loving parents who understood her and accepted her. I had to hide things and pretend. Then I remembered all the friends that I now had and the support of Matron, the Head and everyone else who had kept my secret, although it would mean trouble if things came out.

‘It sounds lovely.’

‘It is. It’s so nice you can come and stay.’

‘I’m a bit worried about your mum and dad.’

‘Why?’

‘Well you know, I’m a boy under this awful dress.’

‘Yes.’ she laughed, ‘I hate the uniform too. Never mind you can change into something pretty when we get to your place. As far as worrying about Mum and Dad; they understand and know how you are fixed.’

She looked about the bus and as no one was looking at us, she came closer.

‘If you had a chance, would you go back to being a boy?’

I thought about it, not for the first time, I must admit.

‘I…I don’t know. I haven’t been like this for long. It’s all been a bit of a rush. I love wearing the clothes, but that isn’t all. I feel like I am happier like this…I can’t explain really, it feels right. Do you know what I mean?’

‘Yes, I’ve felt like this since I was very young. I suppose it’s all new and strange to you though.’

‘Yes, that’s it…strange. I… I do wonder if I’m letting my Mum and Dad down by wanting to be a girl.’

‘What do you mean?’
‘Well, I was born a boy and have grown up as a boy; if they are looking down at me now, what would they think?’ I could feel my eyes tear up a bit.

‘Don’t cry, they would want you to be happy, I’m sure.’

‘Maybe.’

‘No maybe about it; here, have a tissue.’

I wiped my eyes and calmed down a bit as Petra started to make me laugh by telling me about a problem she had with a bull once.

‘…so there I was, in the field, wearing a red cardi. I wanted to cut across the field because it was a short cut and it saved about ten minutes. Over the other side were several cows and a bigger one with long horns. He looked at me and I looked at him, then he started coming towards me. Then he started trotting and then charging at me. I never knew I could jump a Fosbury Flop so quickly; he missed my bottom by three inches, I swear!’

By this time I was crying tears of laughter and I forgot my upset of a few minutes before.

Soon, we arrived at the Home and I hurried upstairs to the dormitory.

The first thing I did was to get out of my heavy uniform. I was feeling a bit stinky and sweaty, so I had a quick shower and then put on a nice white cheesecloth blouse and short black skirt. A pair of sandals finished things off and I was ready.

I went back into the dormitory and saw that everyone had been up, got changed and gone back downstairs again. There were dresses, blouses, hats, stockings and other stuff, strewn around the room and I imagined what Matron would say if she saw the mess!

After folding my uniform and putting it away, I put a few things in my holdall. Petra had stayed downstairs with the girls and I wondered what she thought of this place that I now called home.

I didn’t know what to take as it was only for two nights but in the end, I picked up a couple of skirts and blouses, a tee shirt and jeans, a nice peach, knee length dress with cap sleeves, my pink silky nightie and finally some under things. Then I put my tooth brush, flannel and a few other things in my toilet bag and I was ready. I was just about to zip up my bag, when I noticed that Teddy looked a bit fed up, so I grabbed her and popped her in my holdall.

‘Now be a good girl in there!’ I said with mock ferocity.

In moments, I was back downstairs and in the dining room. Most of the girls were either watching TV or mucking about, as you do. I went over to Petra who was talking to Tracy and Rachel.

‘Hi, Steph,’ said Tracy, ‘I hope you enjoy funny smells.’

‘Why?’

‘Well, down on the farm, it niffs a bit.’

‘No more than under your armpits!’

‘You cow!’ said Tracy laughing and then running after me as I squealed around the room. She finally caught me in the corner and gave me some tickle torture.

‘Stop it, Tracy!’ I gasped trying to get away from her and giggling at the same time.

‘Say sorry,’

‘No,’

‘Right.’ she carried on until in the end I gave in.

‘SORRY!’

‘Sure?’

‘YES SURE, NOW, PLEASE STOP!’

She let me alone and I just stood there trying to get my breath back. Petra walked up to me.

‘Is it always this mad here?’

‘Yup.’

‘Wow.’

Just then we jumped slightly.

‘QUIET!’

Everyone stopped talking and there was Matron over by the door, looking a bit grim.

‘How many times have I told you all to keep your noise down to a roar? Now it’s not a very good impression we give visitors, is it? Now pipe down for a bit.’

She looked over to where Petra and I was standing.

‘Petra, your mum and dad are here.’

I said goodbye to everyone and picked up my holdall. Walking over to Matron, she kissed me on the cheek and whispered, ‘have a nice time, dear.’

‘Thank you, Matron.’

‘Stephanie.’

I turned around.

‘Yes Tracy.’

‘Watch out for cow pats!’

I just poked out my tongue at her and turned away.

I followed Petra out to the hall and standing there was a man and woman. They looked roughly the same age as my parents. She was wearing a nice, peach sun dress and had long blond hair; she was thin and was very pretty. I noticed that she had a nice smile on her face. The man had on jeans and a tee shirt; he was quite tall and muscular with brown hair and green eyes that looked like they laughed a lot, if you know what I mean. I instantly thought that these were nice people.

Petra ran up them and got an instant cuddle. I hung back a bit, being somewhat shy.

Petra’s dad looked up and smiled at me.

‘Hi Stephanie; ready to go?’

I nodded, temporally mute for some reason.

‘Come on then, let’s go!’

Petra put down her parents and I followed them all outside.

Petra ran back for me as I was hanging behind a bit.

‘Come on Steph.’

She grabbed my hand and we followed her parents to a car. It was a Range Rover, a bit muddy around the wheels, but other than that quite new and in good condition.

Petra’s dad got behind the wheel and Petra got in beside him. Petra’s mum looked at me.

‘Let me have your bag, dear and I’ll put it in the back. Do you want to get in?’

I nodded and opened one of the rear doors. It was a bit funny as I had to climb up a bit to get in. Not like a normal car like a Ford Escort or Cortina.

I shut the door behind me and a few seconds later, Petra’s mum got in beside me.

Soon, we were going down the drive and I was watching the scenery go by, listening to Petra talking to her parents.

‘Mum, Dad, thanks for letting Steph stay this weekend.’

‘That’s okay,’ said her dad, ‘it’s nice to see your friends. Are you looking forward to it, Stephanie?’

‘Erm…yes sir.’

‘Oh, don’t call me Sir, its Bob,’

‘And I’m Sally.’ said Petra’s mum smiling at me, ‘I do hope you enjoy yourself.’

‘Thanks, I’m sure I will!’

Soon we were out in the country and I watched the fields go by. For some reason I was quite tired and before I knew it, I was fast asleep.

The next thing I knew, I was being gently prodded awake.

‘Stephanie, we’re here.’ said Sally quietly.

I realised that I was leaning against Sally’s chest and she had her arm around my shoulders. It was very nice and strangely comforting, but very embarrassing!

‘I’m sorry!’ I said shooting up straight.

She laughed, ‘don’t worry you’re head about that dear, I didn’t mind at all.’

I rubbed my eyes and then looked out of the window.

‘Wow!’

‘Great isn’t it,’ said Petra enthusiastically.

All I could do was nod my head. The house was large, almost stately in size. The drive was huge and at the back of it and off to the side were some formal gardens with a lake and a huge fountain in the middle. There were fields everywhere and I could see cows and sheep, dotted about. To the side of the main house were some more gardens, a tennis court and what looked like a stream running away into the distance.

Petra grabbed my arm and turned to her parents.

‘Can I show Steph about?’

‘Yes,’ said Sally,’ but dinner will be ready in one hour, so you have to get back, change and be ready then. Think you can do that?’

‘Yes Mummy.’

‘Okay, you two shoot off then.’

I ran after Petra, who was whooping away and generally making enough noise to wake up some sleeping sheep, half a mile away.

She stopped and motioned me to catch up with her.

‘We haven’t much time, so I’ll just show you the nearby things today. We’ll do more tomorrow.’

She grabbed my hand and we went around the back of the house.

There were stables there with several horses in them.

She went up to the first one.

‘This is, Suzie, she’s my horse, isn’t she lovely?’

Suzie was a lovely brown colour with a white flash that went down her nose. She bumped her nose against Petra’s hand.

‘Sorry Suzie, I haven’t got any sugar this time, I’ll bring some tomorrow.’

I went up to Suzie and stroked her head. She seemed to like that. It was strange feeling a horse’s head. I hadn’t ever been that close to a horse before.

‘She likes you. Would you like to sit on her tomorrow?’

‘She a bit big.’

‘Not really. Don’t worry, she’s very gentle.’

‘Okay,’ I said a bit uncertainly.

‘Right, see you tomorrow, Suzie, I have to show Steph a few more things and we have to be quick.’

We went further around the house and eventually arrived at the back. There were more gardens; less formal and more lived in. There was a swing, a see saw, a summer house over to one side with deck chairs outside and a tree house at the end of the long lawned garden. The stream was there too, meandering its way to the side of the garden and disappearing out into the fields beyond. It was a lovely place and I liked it all straight away. It was so much to take in all at once and I felt very happy that Petra allowed me to come and stay with her and experience all this.

‘Oh bother,’ said Petra, ‘we have to go in. Mummy hates me being late for dinner. It’s the one thing she’s strict about…time keeping. Come on, we have to run!’

I ran after her as we went across the lawn, through some French doors into a sort of sitting room, out into a large hall, up some wonderfully wide stairs, along a corridor and finally and breathlessly into a nice paneled bedroom with cream walls a red carpet, nice bed and lovely fireplace.

That was all I could take in as Petra said, ‘this is your room, I’m next door. Have you brought a dress?’

‘Yes.’ I gasped.

‘Well, put it on as we have to dress for dinner. Boring, but that’s the way it is. I’ll give you a knock when we have to go down, you have twenty minutes. You might have time for a quick wash. Your bathroom is through that door.’

With that, she dashed out, leaving me to catch my breath. Next to the bed was my holdall. My clothes had been taken out and laid on the bed. I looked at the dress, luckily, it was polyester and not creased much.

Someone had propped Teddy up against a pillow on the bed and she looked quite comfortable there, as if she belonged. I had no time for a chat though, as I was going to be late if I didn’t get a move on!

I went into the bathroom and saw that my toilet bag was on a shelf. I took off my rather sweaty clothes and stepped into the bath. I then put on my rather too frilly shower cap as I had no time to wash my hair. There was a shower attachment to the taps and after fiddling about, I managed to get the shower working. After the shower, I quickly dried myself using the wonderfully soft and fluffy white towels provided and then walked back into the bedroom.

I found some clean silky panties and put them on, then the white slip followed by my dress. I liked the peach colour and the cap sleeves; it was nice, light and pretty. It was too hot for stockings, so I just slipped on my strappy sandals and I was dressed. I went back into the bathroom, wiped the steam off the mirror and brushed my hair. I carefully parted it in the middle and then brushed it until it was soft, smooth and straight. My hair, by now looked a bit less page boy and more like a slightly longer twiggy stile, still short but very feminine.

Looking at myself in the mirror, I could see a rather pretty girl and no sign of the boy I once was. I sighed, wondering if I would ever want to be a boy again. Then, there was a knock at the door.

‘Come in.’

Petra came in looking lovely. She had on a pale pink organza dress with thin spaghetti straps. It was lovely and I told her so.

‘You’re lovely too, that dress really looks nice. We had better hurry or we’ll be late!’

She took hold of my hand and we went downstairs. I couldn’t get over how big everything was; big corridors, big staircase, big hall. We eventually arrived at a… you guessed it, big set of doors, and Petra walked in. I followed with some trepidation. I couldn’t believe what I saw!

To be continued…

Please leave comments as Teddy reads all correspondence.